HEART OF STONE
Chapter Thirty Three: Survivor
Written by TheCrimsonDM
Maud brought Trixie to Pinkie’s bedroom and laid her down on the bed. Trixie’s fear was battling fiercely with her depression; she couldn’t find anything to say, or do. Trixie just stayed quiet as Applejack did her best to bandage up Trixie’s horn. Trixie was a little surprised when Applejack swore a few times while cleaning the wound, and every time a surge of pain would shoot through the damaged appendage. After Applejack finally finished she had blood stained hooves and looked exhausted.
“Alright, sugarcube, it looks much better now. Ah swear it looked like that monster nearly broke yer horn off at first. But it wasn’t so bad…Ah hope. Um how are you feeling now?” Applejack said as she put the medical supplies back inside the first aid kit.
Trixie didn’t close her eyes, they wouldn’t let her keep them shut for too long. Trixie didn’t care if she would never wake up, but they still wouldn’t let her sleep. Trixie’s head also felt cloudy, and it was hard to think properly. She didn’t answer Applejack’s question, there was no point in talking anymore. She simply stayed quiet.
Maud was standing next to the bed. Maud’s face was void of all expression. Pinkie Pie on the other hoof looked shaken up and tried to smile, but Trixie could tell that it was nothing but a mask that Pinkie was wearing to hide how upset she really was. Applejack just gave Trixie a kind and caring smile.
After a long awkward silence Applejack finally said, “Ah guess you don’t want to talk. Ah can’t rightly blame ya…uh Maud do you have anything to say?”
Maud continued to stare at Trixie blankly while she said, “I’m here for you, Lulu.”
Pinkie Pie then said, “I guess we need to hold off on that party…again…”
The door opened and Rainbow Dash came in along with Twilight. Rainbow Dash said, “hey we took care of those guys.”
Twilight added, “I made sure that they won’t be moving until long after they’re healed. The guards will be here to pick them up tonight. It looks like the stallions were going to stay here a few days until the next train to Applewood came in. Ponyville is the only stop before Applewood after all.”
Rainbow Dash sat down and looked at Applejack saying, “I can’t believe those guys. It turns out they hurt somepony else today to. That poor mare had her leg broken; Doctor Horse has been working on her almost all day. We showed her the two stallions and she hoofed them just like that.”
Twilight rubbed a hoof across her face and explained, “what Rainbow Dash means is that Golden Harvest recognized them as her attackers.”
“What? Those fiends hurt Carrot Top,” Applejack said, her voice holding a mixture of surprise and anger. Rainbow Dash nodded.
Twilight walked up to Trixie and said, “hey, I’m sorry I took so long.”
Twilight’s horn began glowing and Trixie’s horn jerked causing Trixie to scream in pain. Then the pain was over and her horn felt better. Maud shot a glare at Twilight causing her to explain, “what? her horn was crooked, and cracked. Seriously I’m surprised that she is still awake. Most unicorns would’ve passed out or…well the pain could have done much worse to her.”
Twilight’s horn glowed again and Trixie’s head began to clear. The fog had been in her head ever since she had been hit, and she had been feeling numb. Now Trixie’s brain was feeling much better, and her numbness was disappearing, being replaced by understanding…and shame.
Twilight said, “alright, no more concussion. You can go to sleep now if you’d like.”
Trixie rolled over, unable to face her friends any longer. The feeling of shame hit her hard. She knew now that she was a broken, used, piece of trash; Maud deserved something better. The worst part was that she finally put the pieces together and realized that she had wet herself. It didn’t matter if it was perfectly normal for ponies to do that kind of thing outside; because Trixie was better than that, or so she thought. And anything associated with what the stallions did to her, felt wrong.
Trixie let out a soft cry before she begged, “just leave Trixie alone, Trixie is worthless.”
Maud reached out and placed a hoof on Trixie’s shoulder. A sudden fear overcame her, and Trixie screamed and smacked the hoof away; a deep routed fear took her over and she nearly screamed, “do not touch Trixie.”
Maud pulled back and rested her hoof on the edge of the bed. It took a few moments before Maud asked, “what can I do?”
Trixie heard the other ponies walking away and Twilight said, “we’re going to leave you two alone. Take care of her, Maud, after today…she needs somepony to stay with her.”
The door closed behind the others and they left Maud alone with Trixie. Maud slowly removed her hoof from the bed, and Trixie began to fear that Maud would leave too. Trixie quickly begged, “please don’t leave, please don’t move.”
Maud was quiet as she put her hoof back onto the bed, Trixie could feel the weight of Maud’s hoof, and that made her feel safer. Trixie knew that she shouldn’t be scared of Maud touching her, and it hurt to know that even Maud’s gentle touch was too much for her now. Trixie began crying again as she said, “please keep your hoof on the bed…it makes me feel safe. Trixie is sorry that she is so broken.”
“I didn’t know how badly you had been hurt. You never talk about it. If I had known I…I wouldn’t have left you alone,” Maud said in her monotonous voice. Trixie simply continued to cry until she finally fell asleep.
***
The ally was unusually cold that night, and Trixie couldn’t find any warmth from the rags she was using for a blanket. She was lying down in between two dumpsters hoping that nopony would see her while she slept there. The Ally was almost empty save for a little filly named Valiant Heart that slept here sometimes. Valiant Heart wasn’t here tonight…or at least she hoped so.
Trixie hated Twilight for everything that had happened to her. Twilight knew exactly what would happen if she let Trixie go, and that was the issue. Twilight had wanted Trixie to be homeless, living on the streets, eating out of dumpsters. Everything about Trixie’s life was absolutely horrible. The only good news was that unlike most of the other fillies and mares that lived on the streets with her, Trixie had yet to be hurt by the stallions. Trixie made a practice of sleeping lightly, and hiding herself away in small places that most ponies didn’t want to look in.
Trixie closed her eyes and dreamed of her old wagon, and of a time when things were okay; a time when she and Twilight would hang out and play games. A time before Trixie argued with Twilight, but Twilight had been foalish and deserved the lecture. Even if it did come at the cost of a teammate’s wellbeing. Trixie was right, she was always right…wasn’t she?
Sleep came lightly, and roughly to the unicorn that night. Somewhere along the way she woke up to the sound of a stallion talking loudly. Trixie stayed quiet until she heard what he was saying.
The stallion was saying, “come on out. I have some food for you, if you’re a good little filly.”
Fear seized Trixie’s heart, she hadn’t realized that Valiant was here tonight. Trixie had heard this kind of offer before, and it was always bad. The stallion had to be a member of the Black Hoof gang; the mares of that gang were violent, and the stallions were twisted. The poor little filly that was always so kind to Trixie, was going to learn a hard lesson tonight. There was nothing that Trixie could do to help Valiant Heart. The last time she had tried to help somepony…things went badly for her.
The stallion shouted all of a sudden, “GET OUT HERE NOW! You little brat, I’m going to show you where your place is tonight.”
Trixie shuddered. Was she going to have to sit here and listen to the stallion hurting the poor filly all night? Valiant Heart didn’t even have her cutie mark yet. Trixie cringed at the thought. Trixie was safely hidden behind the dumpsters, if she tried to move the stallions would hear her, wouldn’t he?
Trixie didn’t want anything bad to happen to the little filly, she had spent a lot of time talking to the filly. Some nights Trixie would let the filly sleep next to her for warmth, Trixie had spent many an hour whispering stories to the filly before sleep. Trixie had grown attached to the Valiant Heart.
Finally Trixie had heard enough of the stallion threatening the little filly. Trixie stayed as quiet as she could and she snuck out of her hiding spot. Trixie saw the brown stallion, and his blond mane. He was trying to reach the filly with his hoof as she hid behind another dumpster. Trixie saw a clear view of the stallion’s hind quarters, and began summoning magic through her horn.
Trixie laughed to herself and said, “The Great and Powerful Trixie thinks it is time that you learn to keep your hooves to yourself.”
Trixie summoned a storm cloud and arched a bolt of lightning into the stallion’s hind quarters. She was aiming for a very tender spot, and given the painful scream the stallion let out after the bolt hit him, Trixie believed she had hit her mark.
The stallion turned towards her, rage flashed in his expression and he charged Trixie. Trixie was too physically weakened to dodge him. As he knocked her down, something tore through Trixie’s leg and she screamed as she landed on her haunches. The stallion didn’t stop moving though and continued to run away. Trixie saw that his backside was actually smoking, presumably from the lightning bolt. Trixie was left alone…at least for the moment.
Trixie forced through the pain and stood up. Her leg was bleeding now. A red stained shard of glass was on the ground where she had been, that must have been what cut her. This was a very grave situation for Trixie. Wounds were always of great concern when you lived alone.
A tiny red haired, brown earth pony stuck her head out from behind the dumpster. The little filly ran up to Trixie looking scared. Valiant Heart never spoke to anypony, Trixie suspected that the little filly was mute. The only reason that Trixie knew her name was because Valiant Heart could write.
Trixie brushed some of the shaggy mane out of Valiant’s eyes and said in a soft voice, “Trixie thinks you need to find a new place to sleep for a few nights. That stallion will come back looking for you, and for Trixie. You can’t stay here tonight, Trixie is sorry.”
Valliant looked at Trixie and then at Trixie’s leg with worry. Trixie sat down very carefully and gave the little filly a hug before saying, “The Great and Fearless Trixie is okay, she will find a nice place to hide and heal. But you must promise Trixie that you will go find a new place to sleep in. Do you promise?”
The little filly was hesitant at first, but finally she nodded. Valiant opened her mouth, but quickly closed it. Tears ran down her face, but Trixie wiped them away and said, “it’s okay Valiant, Trixie has been through Tartarus and back. Go on now, before the stallion comes back.”
The little filly gave Trixie a hug before turning and running off. Trixie always enjoyed seeing Valiant’s tail, it reminded Trixie of a lion’s tail; it was adorable…but adorable was a curse here on the streets. Trixie said a silent prayer to Celestia for the little filly’s well being. Trixie crawled back into her little hiding spot and rested her injured leg. The pain in her leg was too great for her to find another hiding spot, and she was so tired. Trixie closed her eyes and drifted off into a cold sleep.
A few hours later Trixie awoke to the sound of metal grinding against something. There were a couple of mares pushing one of Trixie’s dumpster out of the way, and Trixie spotted the brown stallion from earlier, he had his yellow friend with him too. They looked very angry, and they were looking right at Trixie. There was a small opening on the opposite side of Trixie’s shelter. Trixie took off in a full blown gallop, it wouldn’t last long with the pain in her leg, but this was all she could do; that and pray they wouldn’t catch her.
***
The air was freezing around her, and the ground beneath her was hard and dry. Trixie found herself sitting in a barren field with the pale moon casting its dark light over everything. Trixie curled up into a ball and whispered, “it’s not fair. Why do I always get hurt when I try and do good stuff?”
“Because few ponies are willing to sacrifice everything to protect others,” said a kind and familiar voice from next to her.
Trixie looked up and found Princess Luna staring back at her. Trixie let out a sigh and said, “nothing good happens to me though, after all the good I’ve done…it seems like everything bad always happens to me.”
Luna smiled and asked, “so you no longer believe you deserve what happened to you?”
Trixie pawed at the earth beneath her and said, “no I don’t…I know that I’m not a monster, even if I have done bad stuff…I now know I’m not a bad pony. I’m just a worthless disgusting one.”
Luna wrapped a wing around Trixie and said, “I have rarely met a pony who was willing to sacrifice everything for the ones they love. Even Twilight has her limit. Twilight has simply lucked out most of the time, if any one thing had been different in many situations then she would have lost. You however try so hard to do everything you can, you have been broken but still you continue onward. That is a great strength for you. You have seen how bad it can get, so you fight even harder to keep it from being so bad again. I’m impressed.”
Trixie looked away and said sourly, “maybe, but how come nothing good ever happens to me. It’s like I’m a magnet that attracts crap.”
“Tell me, what has your day been like? What did you do today?” Luna asked.
Trixie explained, “I woke up covered in scars, those were washed away though…then I had a bath with Maud…then we had breakfast. Pinkie Pie made some of the most delicious pancakes ever. Then Twilight put her trust into me…she trusts me again. I found out the library was destroyed, but that I wasn’t alone in my pain. Applejack let me work with her…and she listened to me ramble about my past. Then I attacked Rainbow Dash, and was forgiven for it. I talked to Timequill again and got some good advice from him. And then I got home and had chocolate milk…and…Twilight gave me the greatest gift ever. But…but I was attacked after that…those stallions were going to ra-…hurt me again. They ruined everything.”
Luna was quiet for a few moments before saying, “I’m sorry that you were attacked. But I noticed that you mention some rather good things that happened today. Are you still positive that only bad stuff happens? Is there nothing that you are grateful for?”
Trixie was silent for a moment. Despite how much pain she had endured, Luna was right; there were things that she was grateful for. Trixie said very quietly, “I have Maud, I have friends, I have a sister…I am trusted by Twilight Sparkle…I met my mom again. I even have some information waiting for me about my dad…maybe…no I think you’re right. There is good stuff…but why is the bad stuff so…bad?”
“Sometimes bad things happen to you, and when they do you begin to appreciate the good things a little more. If you had a family, then would having a sister mean so much to you now? If you had many friends, then would your new ones mean that much to you? If you had never been hurt, would all the small things in this world that make you smile, truly be so special?” Luna asked.
Trixie thought about this for a few moments. The more she thought about it, the more she believed Luna’s words were true. Trixie may have been through the gutter, but broken as she may be, she came out of the experiences…stronger, wiser.
Trixie watched as the hard ground beneath her hooves began to grow warm, welcoming almost. The night sky began to shine with beautiful stars. Trixie looked in awe at them. This place reminded her of the rock farm. The days were hot, humid, and hard. But the nights were lovely, quiet, and safe.
Trixie then remembered how ashamed she was of what the stallions had caused her to do, in front of all her friends. The stars began to dim as she remembered.
“What is the matter?” Luna asked gently.
Trixie nearly cried as she explained, “during the…attack…I…I.I shamed myself.”
Luna looked confused at Trixie’s words. It would make sense that most ponies might not think of urinating outside as being wrong, but Trixie was always a little shy when it came to that subject. Trixie gulped as she explained, “I…um, I wet myself.”
A light blush appeared over Luna’s face as she said, “oh. I can see how that could be…embarrassing. I know most of the ponyville peons don’t have a shred of decency when it comes to that. I have seen many a pony lift there leg and, um yes it is normal for them. But I suppose you were brought up in Celestia’s school. It makes sense for you to feel embarrassed about it. Canterlot has higher standards after all. Do not feel shame over it though, Twilight has told me about what they did to you. I am surprised to hear that you did not do worse. Though if you had, that could have been a deterrent for them.”
Trixie wasn’t sure what Luna was saying for a second and then she felt her face warming up as she said offensively, “that’s disgusting. I haven’t even eaten that much today. How could I…you’re gross.”
Luna simply smiled and said, “I’m glad to see your feeling well enough to be offended, that is a good sign. However this issue is still not solved; I wish to know what you are going to do when you awaken?”
Trixie sighed and said, “I don’t know. I had plans today…I wanted to make Maud happy. But now…well I don’t know if I can touch her and not be scared.”
Luna looked up towards the sky and said, “you should at least try. If you can conquer your own fears then you should be able to move on and grow. I am also sure that Maud would enjoy it; she is worried that you fear her. You could try and make her feel better by simply holding her.”
Trixie smiled and said, “thank you Luna. I…I may not be okay for a long time, but now I think I might be able to move on…thank you.”
Luna smiled and said, “you are a survivor Trixie, and you should be proud of that fact.”
***
The cool night air was breezing through the room and Trixie felt a little shiver pass through her from the cold. The nights were beginning to grow cold; soon they would become unbearable without Maud’s warmth. Trixie rolled over in the guest bed and opened her eyes to see Maud standing by her side. The moonlight was shining through the window allowing Trixie to see clearly. Maud had fallen asleep while standing next to Trixie. Trixie could barely believe that Maud had stayed there standing all this time.
Maud shivered, and Trixie quickly placed a hoof against Maud’s cheek. Maud was freezing, and the room was far colder out of the blanket then she had guessed it would be. Trixie quietly said, “Maud, Maud, honey. Wake up.”
Maud stirred a little and opened her eyes before asking in a drowsy, and very cold sounding voice, “Trixie…are you okay? What can I do for you?”
Trixie closed her eyes and could still feel her fear of being touched by ponies deep inside of her. Trixie took that fear and shoved it into a tiny box. Trixie had survived terrible things, she could surely do this one thing for Maud. Especially considering how cold Maud felt. Trixie whispered, “get into bed you fool. Trixie is going to make sure you are warm.”
Maud smiled before climbing into the bed and lying on her side, Maud’s back facing Trixie. Trixie then sat up and placed her hooves on Maud’s side. Trixie rolled Maud onto her back and noticed the surprised look on Maud’s face. Trixie was in charge now, and she wasn’t just going to make Maud warm, she was going to make Maud feel hot.
Trixie climbed on top of Maud, bringing her head down to Maud’s legs. Maud’s entire body was freezing. Trixie found the nice little spot that she was looking for on Maud’s body. Trixie kissed it, and heard a little squeak come out of Maud’s mouth from behind her. Trixie looked over to make sure that it was indeed Maud who made the sound. To Trixie’s surprise she actually saw a slight pink tone to Maud’s cheeks. Trixie kissed again and heard the same sound, only a little louder. Maud’s cheeks were even pinker.
Trixie grinned in secret victory as she said, “so that’s how you work. Trixie is truly intrigued by this squeaking sound you make, she will need to investigate further.”
Trixie licked, and heard a moan escape Maud’s lips. Trixie looked back to see Maud closing her eyes tightly; Maud’s face was now red with embarrassment. Trixie had finally gotten what she wanted. Trixie quietly said, “Trixie is sorry Pinkie Pie, but Maud and Trixie need this more than ever.”
Trixie continued working on Maud, slowly. With Maud trying to stifle her noises…poorly. After a few minutes Trixie heard Pinkie Pie get off her bed, and watched as Pinkie Pie held a pillow in her mouth, and dragged a blanket with her as she left the bedroom. Trixie pitied Pinkie Pie, but there was no way of stopping this now. The room quickly became very hot, and very loud after that.