//------------------------------// // Prologue // Story: Next Tuesday Morning // by Flutterdude //------------------------------// NEXT TUESDAY MORNING The purple dragon escorted the white unicorn through the field of gumdrops and lollipops. The round hills rolled like the unicorn's curvaceous purple mane, their lightly-billowing grass as green as the dragon's dorsal spikes. Not one object in the landscape was definitively solid, outlines serving as not much more than a difference in color, everything seeming to blend into everything else in a way that defined real words. The observer in this strange land barely noticed a dull, inconspicuous vignette in his field of vision. In fact, the whole world itself seemed under the same euphoric spell, the very air covering everything in the pastel land appearing to be filled with a vague pinkness, as if the whole world was willingly blasted with blush. For all Spike the dragon was aware, the blush could've been supplied by his unicorn companion, Rarity. Nothing seemed to be clearly defined in this place. They came upon a house. No, it wasn't a ginger bread house, silly. It was an ice cream house. The neon, scene-colored abode had the same atmosphere as the surroundings it blended into without true reason. "I made it for you, Rarity. Why yes, it is an ice cream house. Chocolate fudge shingles... rocky road garage..." The whole world lurched broadly, the dragon's very sense of sight seeming to be having a nervous breakdown. The dairy house he had spent so much time on swirled in his eyes until it was nothing but abstract strokes of color against the self-same background. He felt like he was falling, falling into a void of color and nothing much else. He didn't question this; it all made sense to him. Somehow. His precious Rarity blended messily with the rest of the breaking-down world. Everything went black. ------------- The purple-scaled, green-spiked dragon woke up in his mat on the floor where he slept. The world sloshed like water in front of him until everything came into focus. Outlines in this world were clearly defined, depth was unfalteringly noticable, and the library he was in corresponded nicely to the laws of physics. Yep. This was the real world. Which kinda sucked. He was this close to getting to third base with Rarity. He heard hoof steps in front of him and noticed his sister/mother figure/master and overlord, Twilight Sparkle. She was a purple unicorn with a straight-cut, Beatles-esque black mane, streaked with purple and pink. (Well, Beatles-esque as in before they became pot-smoking hippies. Twilight Sparkle was not a pot-smoking hippie [though that would be kinda funny, considering pot-smoking hippies didn’t exist in the peaceful, TV-Y-rated land of Equestria].) "Huh... Twilight...?" "Oh, hi Spike," Twilight spat quickly on her way to a random stack of papers after shuffling through another random stack of papers. "It's the middle of the night! Why are you pacing like this?" "Frankly, I don't know how you can sleep at a time like this!" she quipped a little more slowly this time as she ran to another random stack of papers. "Three AM?" "It's awful, it's horrible, it's tragic!" she ejaculated, channeling Rarity channeling William Shatner channeling Christopher Walken. "Eh... I don't understand. What's wrong?" Twilight held up a calendar to Spike's face and spurted, "Here. Now do you see what's wrong?" It had all the trappings of an ordinary calendar and nothing could really be discerned to be the matter by looking at it. How horribly ignorant Spike was. "We forgot to celebrate Arbor Day?" Spike tried, remembering that they did, in fact, celebrate Arbor Day. He also remembered, with a reserved snicker, joking about sticking their tree-hugging friend Fluttershy into the ground and seeing what happened. (Fluttershy was not a pot-smoking hippie either. She was just a tree-hugging pacifist and lived in a cottage in the woods and made herbal treats for all her little animal friends and some for herself and didn't share them with her friends. Except for this one time, but that was with Pinkie Pie, so nobody noticed anything wrong. Pinkie Pie was not a pot-smoking hippie either. Let's just settle on "hyper" and get on with the story.) "No, the problem is I just finished planning my schedule for the month, but I forgot to leave time to plan for next month! Don't you see? There's no time in my schedule to put together another schedule! I could move my meeting with the Ponyville Hay Board to the following Tuesday, but then I have to reschedule my lunch with Pinkie Pie, and you know what a nightmare she is with scheduling." Read: scheduling. "This is an absolute disaster. My whole year could be thrown off!" "And I woke up from an ice cream dream for this..." Spike deadpanned as he shuffled back to his bed/mat, oddly putting emphasis on "cream" instead of "ice". --------------- Twilight said to nopony in particular with a sigh, "Oh my gosh, I think I did it! If I can find a way to read The Art of Invisibility Spells, and Thornhoof's Brief History of Canterlot at the same time, that could leave me a half-hour scheduling window!" A sudden blast of light filled the room. Twilight held a hoof to her eyes as she backstepped away from the gradually brightening void of brightness. She echoed the words in her head, which presently consisted of "Huh?" She backed up, holding a hoof to her eyes as she became a little bit more literate. "What's going on...?" The light dissipated, leaving an obligatory smoke cover in its wake. A figure stood on the wooden floor, at the epicenter of where the lightning-like blast had left a small patch of it lightly charred. She looked completely disheveled, wearing a moderately-torn black jumpsuit, a white bandanna on her forehead, a black eyepatch, and a scar on her cheek. Her black mane, interspersed with one pink and one purple stripe, was unkempt and spiky. It reminded present Twilight of the main character in Metal Gear Sparkle, a table-top game she had been playing a lot of lately. (Sparkle Snake was not a pot-smoking hippie. He just had funky hair.) She was a unicorn. She was purple. She was Twilight. The Beatle cut Twilight was dumbfounded. The metal-head cut Twilight ran up to her past self and said with wide-eyed haste, "Twilight, you've got to listen to me!" Twilight was flabbergasted. Becoming a tad more eloquent, she interrogated Sparkle Snake Twilight, bombarding her(self) with the first questions that crossed her train of thought. "Who are you? I mean, you're me, but I'm me too. How can there be two 'me's? It's not scientifically possible. You are not scientifically possible!" she exclaimed, pointing out the inherent impossibility of what was happening right in front of her. "There's no time!" Future Twilight shouted shrilly, her pupils contracting as she frantically blurted out her words like a chicken with its head cut off that could somehow still speak. "I have a very important message for you from the future!" "You're from the future?!" Punk rocker Twilight nodded briskly. "Yes, that's right, now listen--" "What happened to you? The future must be awful!" Super commando Sparkle Snake Twilight from the future interrupted Beatle cut Twilight from the present/past's train of thought as she desperately yelled "Please! I don't have much time!" "Is there some sort of epic pony war in the distant future or something?" Metal-head future Twilight clarified "Actually, I'm from NEXT TUESDAY MORNING" - emphasis added here for written posterity - "but that's not important right now!" "I can't believe time travel is really possible! How did you - I mean, I - figure it out?" "The time spells are in the Canterlot Archives. But that's not--" "Really? Where? I've never seen them." How horribly ignorant Twilight was. "They're in the Star Swirl the Bearded wing. Now, you have to listen to--" "Is time travel fun, or does it hurt? I have so many questions--" It was future commando Sparkle Snake metal-head Twilight from the future's turn to increase the hyphen count, as she shut up present Twilight with a hoof to her muzzle. Her foreleg began to crackle with lightning-like magical energy, the arcs of pseudo-electricity becoming more frequent and more bright with each passing moment. The entirety of future Twilight began to get a metallic glow to her as she speed-shouted "I have something extremely important to tell you about the future, and I only have a few seconds so you've got to listen! Whatever you do, don't--" She was engulfed in a sudden, rudely inconvenient flash of blinding light. Twilight was left standing in another blanket of obligatory smoke as she looked about her, nothing to be seen except books. Lots and lots of books. And the walls of the library, too. But mostly books. "Future Twilight? Oh no! What was she trying to warn me about? Her clothes, her mane, that scar... oh, what a mess she is! ...I mean, I am... or I... will be..." She gasped. "She must want me to prevent whatever horrible thing happens in the future!" she concluded with a rising tone in her voice. She had to prevent the horrible fate that would befall her by NEXT TUESDAY MORNING (emphasis added here, again, for written posterity as opposed to actual spoken inflections). -------------- The giddy pink pony floated just off the ground, balloons strapped to her back, as she treaded air and floated slowly down the street. Her poofy pink mane bobbed up and down on her head. "C'mon, Fluttershy! The party can't start until the party supplies get there!" The yellow, tree-hugging pacifist pegasus grunted as she carried a small mountain of random party supplies on her back. Her long pink mane kept getting in her eyes and trailed on the ground. Winces and grunts interrupted her speech as she tried her best to say coherently, "Happy to... help... but... can I carry... the balloons next time?" Suddenly, the yellow one was rammed into by a speeding purple blur. As Fluttershy struggled to regain her hoofing, Twilight jumped onto a nearby bridge and used a conveniently-packed horn to signal everypony within approximately two counties. She was also sporting a Groucho Marx disguise that had serendipidously ended up on her face in the fracas. In all her Marxist glory, she shouted "Listen, everypony! I've got something really important to say!" The crowd just laughed. Confused at first, but then noticing that she was, in fact, wearing a Groucho Marx disguise, she threw it off and reiterated, "This is no laughing matter! We have a crisis on our hooves!" This time the crowd waited with silence and bated breath for further details. "I've just been visited by myself from the future!" The crowd just laughed. "This isn't a joke! My future self tried to warn me about a horrible disaster that's going to occur sometime before NEXT TUESDAY MORNING!" The crowd offered a collective raised eye brow, deciding to see just what the hay their local librarian was talking about. Twilight's country-fried, wheat-maned orange earth pony compadre, Applejack, was interested. She leveled her trademark felt cowpony hat above her green eyes. "What kind of disaster?" she asked with a noticable Appleoosan accent. "I don't know! I got sucked back into the future before I could explain!" Pinkie Pie frantically pedaled her hooves and screamed, "Run for your life!" She pedaled as fast as she could, fleeing the scene at speeds in excess of two kilometers per hour. The Rarity of Spike's dream(s) chimed in "What ever should we do, Twilight? How do we stop the disaster if we don't know what it is?" "We'll just have to work together to make sure we're safe. Rainbow Dash," said she, pointing to her pegasus friend, "you and the other pegasi spread out over Equestria, and look for any kind of problem that could lead to a disaster, and I mean anything." "Got it!" said the rainbow-maned tomcolt with a distinctive vocal fry. She flew off to go do disaster-prevention-type stuff, her blue coat leaving a cyan blur in her wake. Twilight looked at the crowd, now interested in a bit of a more serious way, and said "Everypony else--" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" squeeled Pinkie Pie. She was quick to shut her trap so she could ask of the general populace, "Anypony else wanna panic with me? ... No? AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" and proceeded to float away surprisingly fast on her balloon-infused saddle. Twilight regained her composure and said theatrically, "... Everypony else, time to disaster-proof Equestria!" Cue music montage. ---------------- "Done, done, and done. Applejack, what about the Everfree Forest?" "The perimeter's clear." "Great." Rainbow Dash added on to the report from her spot hovering in the air. "And my team gave the all-clear from Fillydelphia to Las Pegasus." "Excellent. Well, we've done everything on the list, but still... future Twilight looked like she'd been through a horrible ordeal. I just have this nagging feeling we should be looking for something bigger than loose bolts and leaky pipes." A deafening roar resounded through Ponyville and signaled everypony in approximately two counties. It sounded kinda like this: GROOOOWAAAOOORROOOOAAAAAHRRRRWWWRRRR. Pinkie Pie, no longer attached to the balloons, happened to be passing by and addressed everypony around her, "Okay everypony, follow my lead: AAAAAAAAAAAH!" The bystanders followed suit and coupled it with the old "run in random directions" strategy. With a strange giddy gasp of joy, Twilight said, "That's Cerberus! He's supposed to be guarding the gates of Tartarus, but if he's here, then all of the evil creatures that have been imprisoned there could escape and destroy Equestria!" "Destroy Equestria!?" Spike parroted in shock and disbelief. "Yeah, isn't it great?" Twilight said with joyous delight. The street was filled with random running and screaming ponies. Twilight faced Cerberus, the ghastly black, three-headed pit bull. Or maybe he was a boxer. Actually, come to think of it, he may have been a bull dog. Or possibly a great Dane. Though the general physique suggested a mixed breed, looking to be between a Rottweiler and a bull dog, maybe with a little Doberman thrown in there. But let's just settle on "hell-sent demon spawn" and get on with the story. "Hey, Cerberus!" Twilight shouted recklessly. "Looks like you could use some obedience training! Magic obedience training!" The yellow animal lover with the smooth, curving pink mane attempted to intervene, saying "Umm, Twilight, before you do that, could you be so kind as to possibly consider allowing me to try my own--" "Stand back, Fluttershy! Some serious schnitzel is about to hit the fan and get serious!" Twilight exclaimed arrogantly. "But, but please Twilight, I think there's a better way to handle this--" Twilight shot a massive beam of vaguely pink magical energy at the monstrous beast in a plan to incapacitate him, and dug her hooves into the dirt to steel herself for a more powerful volley. Cerberus took the blow and lurched back from being hit square in the shoulder. Obligatory wafting smoke rose from the area and he started running forward, because that's what really big evil creatures do. Twilight prepared for the strike, putting all she had into her horn, rendering it covered by two consecutive layers of magical energy. As the vaguely Rottweiler-esque demon was about to ram straight into the unicorn, she fired. Cerberus was shot back again, this time leaving the ground and landing on his back twenty meters down the street. Twilight prepared to do it again. She had to prevent the disaster future Twilight had foreshadowed. The sort-of-bull-dog-ish-but-not-quite eldritch abomination opened his eyes. They were entirely purple, the same color as Twilight's coat. They were glowing. He rolled over and leveled himself, then, the fire in his eyes growing stronger and more sinister with each step, charged at full speed toward her antagonist. By this time, Twilight had four layers of potential fire power enveloping her horn. She struggled to keep it all contained much longer, sweat rolling down her forehead, clenching her teeth. She took the effort to open her eyes and saw Cerberus towering over her and gaining speed at that. Frightened, she suddenly released all of the energy she had gathered in one, block-busting explosion. Twilight was thrown back, through a window and into the library that housed her house on the top floor. Cerberus was torn to shreds. A massive discharge of glowing yet dark energy (because of course that sort of thing exists) burst out of Cerberus's body as he exploded in a shroud of the dark fog, like smoke strewn into the air by a grenade. It consumed all of Ponyville within minutes. It covered the whole town and the ponies in it with eerie shadow. The town was obscured from outside view in short order, and it didn't stop there. It began slowly branching outward, dangerously close to the mountainside capitol of Equestria, Canterlot. Twilight's whole world was black. Then it went black again.