//------------------------------// // Chapter 31: The Best Boat Ever // Story: At the Inn of the Prancing Pony // by McPoodle //------------------------------// At the Inn of the Prancing Pony Chapter 31: The Best Boat Ever Mary Jo and Ellen walked back into the tournament hall, after crossing an even denser sea of humanity than last time. Due to their knowledge of Celestia’s presence in their collective noggins, they were unusually tight-lipped. They returned to see that the Young Women’s group was eating take-out pizza, and most of Edgar’s team was AWOL. Of their own group, Susan was off in a corner wheeling and dealing on an enormous cell phone, and Gary and his brother Luke were off in another corner laughing over some private joke. The sisters set up their things and waited standing close together until the others noticed them. “What’s up?” asked Susan, the last of the five to enter the huddle. “I just wanted to apologize to you once again for my behavior tonight,” said Mary Jo. “I haven’t been explaining myself as well as I should, and a good reason for that is that audience over there judging everything I do.” Gary put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s alright,” he said. The man was notoriously bad at interpersonal relations when they did not involve dice and miniatures, so he was visibly working through some discomfort and uncertainty in his assurance. “Thanks,” M.J. said, lightly tapping his hand with hers. “Look, the fact of the matter is that tonight’s game isn’t really a game. It’s more like a performance piece, and there’s certain points I need to make to my audience, about responsibility, and how to respectfully handle NPCs.” She looked over to Ellen. Regardless of whose head Celestia was in right now, M.J. wanted to make sure she heard this. “So in other words, it’s the Midnight, Celestia and Hope Show, right?” asked Susan. “Basically, yeah. Sorry.” “Eh, no problem,” she said. “It does mean that we really need to get together after this. Out of the spotlight, just a dinner on me to talk about the old times. You in?” M.J. laughed. “Yeah, I’m in.” “Thanks, everyone, for putting up with us,” Ellen added. M.J. looked over to see that the girls’ group had put away their pizza, and that Edgar’s group was all back in place. “Alright then,” she said, loud enough for everyone to hear, “let’s get back to the game! Everybody, this is your last chance to get Bumble ready before he goes underground.” She wrote a note quickly on a scrap of paper as everyone sat down and passed it to Ellen: “Midnight, you wake up from a brief nap to see a bundle of paper in front of you that wasn’t there before, tied up with a golden ribbon. A little badge is stuck onto the end of the ribbon with beeswax, with the words ‘For Hope’ written on it. What do you do?” Ellen looked back at M.J. curiously, before writing “Pass it silently to Hope” on the paper and sliding it back. “Look, I think we’ve done everything for Bumble that we can,” Susan said, “short of finding a way to cast spells through that mirror communicator thing.” “‘Ooh!’ exclaimed Facet. ‘I can enchant my holy symbol to do just that! Give it back so I can enchant it.’ Bumble does as requested, and soon has the symbol back around his neck. ‘Anything else?’” As she was role-playing, M.J. wrote up another note, and passed it to Gary: “Hope, armed with a large bundle of paper sticking out of her saddlebags, tells you that Celestia has given her a dangerous mission, and that she has to leave the group. In the meantime, the goddess apparently left a big hint that you might need as many of those anti-mind control headbands as possible, and gives you the other three mind-control bands she was holding on to.” Out loud, she says, “Hope and Burnished Lore have a private conversation, and you can see her give some golden headbands to him before walking away. ‘Wish me luck,’ she says. ‘I’m on a mission for Celestia!’” “Well, of course I get to work on that secret thing,” Gary said with a shrug, then he wrote a note and passed it to M.J. “I...bid farewell to Hope and tell her that I hope to see her again soon, safe and sound,” Ellen said, sighing a bit. “But I suppose we must go on alone if Celestia wills it. ‘Go ahead, Bumble. We will await your word before coming down after you.” “Hope begins to make her way up the mountain, soon walking out of sight. Bumble meanwhile descends into the hole.” “Burnished leads the others into the cave, out of the direct sunlight,” said Gary. “I ask Midnight to give me the mirror linked to Bumble.” Ellen, after staring blankly at her character sheet for a moment, startled and nodded. “Oh, right. I hand it over and await news of Bumble’s safety.” “Hoof it over,” M.J. said with a slight grin. “Hoof it over, yes I hoof it over.” Ellen smirked. “Unless you level me a few times so that I can cast Big Bee’s spells.” M.J. laughed. “Alright, I cast my Enlarge Image cantrip on the mirror so the image is big enough for everypony to see clearly,” said Gary. “And for you to cast spells into it more easily,” noted Mary Jo. “Smart thinking. You see the close walls of the shaft rising in the image, until it finally opens up into a large tunnel over a flowing river.” “How big is the tunnel? And how fast’s the river?” asked Susan. “Does it look deep enough for swimming? For rafting?” “Well, everything looks positively enormous,” Mary Jo said. “Yeah, but that’s because we’re looking though the POV of a dinky little mirror,” noted Gary. “‘Bumble, where are you?’ I ask.” Ellen laughed to herself as she realized what was going on: a group of humans were directing a group of ponies to give directions to a silly-looking breezie. Her smile faded, though, as she realized that there was a fundamental difference between the two different kinds of interactions: if the ponies gave a suicidal direction to Bumble, he was free to refuse to carry it out. Poor Midnight Sparkle had no such ability. Ellen closed her eyes as she tried to find an inner voice. Midnight? Midnight? Are you there? she thought to herself. There was no response. With a frown, she picked up Midnight Sparkle’s character sheet and began to study it in detail. If this was a real person, with real hopes and dreams before she had allowed Ellen to take her over, it behooved her to do as good a job of representing those hopes and dreams as possible. Several minutes had passed during her introspection and study—she remembered hearing something about bats at one point. She looked up to see Luke pass a note to her sister. Mary Jo opened the note from Luke, which read “Tracked Hope for as long as I could without being noticed, before coming back. Where did she go?” M.J. quickly replied via another note: “She’s going up the mountain. As far as you know, the only thing up there is the dragon’s lair.” Luke’s eyes went wide before he wrote another note: “I try to see if I can read any part of Celestia’s instructions.” He rolled a couple of dice, and showed the results to Mary Jo. The note that he was returned had these words: “As near as you can tell, those instructions are entirely blank.” This revelation made him even more nervous. “Well,” drawled Ellen, “that wasn’t conspicuous at all! Did Midnight notice anything?” “Oh, you mean other than the fact that Carry On wasn’t with you for the past hour? No, nothing at all!” said Mary Jo as she watched Luke fail his Move Silently roll. “Oh and as for Bumble, a medium-sized bat emerges from a tunnel opening in the southern wall just below the ceiling. Your point of view through the holy symbol dips even closer to the water, and over next to one wall.” “‘Carry, where were you?’” Ellen hissed, as Luke tried his best to look innocent. “‘Isn’t this more urgent?!’” he hissed back across the table. “‘Fine. But we are going to have words, mister.’ I ready a searing light as a last resort...for the bats, not for the thief.” “The bat flies around for a bit, making squeaking noises. Then, giving up, it flies over to the lip of the tunnel entrance, where it lands and carefully walks out of sight. You hear no more sounds. ‘Well, that wasn’t too bad,’ comments Bumble. ‘If that’s the worst this cave has to offer, I will be a very grateful breezie.’” “‘Alright, this is totally up to you,’” Susan said as Torn Deck, “‘but could you take a peek in that tunnel?’” The player had a piece of graph paper before her, on which she had been mapping the breezie’s progress along the underground river. Also on the map was the other cavern entrance that the players knew about. “Bumble takes a minute to make up his mind. ‘Alright, but you better be ready for motion sickness if I see anything I don’t like.’ He edges his way slowly up the south wall, finally peering into a passage a little more than a single pony-width across, leading southwest. It opens almost immediately into a large cavern. The floor is covered in a soft substance. ‘Ugh...smells awful,’ he says, his hoof clearly over his muzzle. ‘It’s about eight by eight pony-lengths, with an exit to the southwest.’” Susan quickly added the newly revealed room to her map. “‘Okay, don’t look up,’” said Gary in character. “‘because that stuff you’re looking at is enough bat guano for a full colony.’” “‘Leaving now,’ says Bumble.” “‘Yeah, good idea,’” said Gary. “Bumble resumes his flight eastward. The tunnel continues straight, but with a slight downward slope. There is a faint rushing sound in the distance. Forty-eight pony-lengths later, the river finally widens, revealing a landing to the east as the river curves northward.” Susan showed the others the map, noting that the river had now crossed the point where the entrance led into the cave complex. “‘That’s our ticket into the caverns,’ Carry says, pointing at the landing on Torn Deck’s map. ‘Is there a tunnel down there?’ I imagine I can roll a separate spot for dead bodies, boss?” “‘There’s something even better than that!’ Bumble exclaims, quickly flying close. ‘Not only a tunnel, but a boat!’” “So,” Ellen started as she leaned back from looking at the map. “If we go down, the bats are going to be a problem. Can we stay underwater long enough to avoid alerting them and get to the landing, or would the river carry us down the bend?” “So, by swimming?” asked Mary Jo. “Um, let’s say that Facet said that. Meanwhile, Bumble is inspecting the boat. It is made out of wood, three pony-lengths long and one and a half pony-lengths wide at its widest. The boat tapers to a point at both ends. There are oarlocks on either side. Inside, Bumble finds three loose planks forming a deck, on which lie three oars.” “Three?” asked Gary. “Is the third one a spare?” Mary Jo ignored the question to complete her description: “A hole in one of the planks matches a hole in the thwart above, indicating where a mast could be placed.” “What’s a thwart?” asked Susan. “It’s one of the crossbeams on a rowboat,” M.J. explained. “To keep it from collapsing.” “One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treddle,” said Ellen with a straight face. “No,” said Mary Jo sternly. “I fell for the Spanish Inquisition sketch once. Once.” “‘So what kind of quality is it?’” asked Gary. “‘Do you think it would survive being rowed upstream?’” “‘How strong do you think I am?’ asked Bumble incredulously. ‘Do you really expect me to row that thing eighty-some pony-lengths against a four pony-length per round current?’” “‘Through a swarm of bats, don’t forget the bats,’ Carry adds.” Luke added. “‘Silence spell’, Burnished says, doing one of these:” Gary then waved an arm in a bored fashion. “‘Look, the only way we’re going to pull this off is if it’s a magic boat...oooh. I cast Detect Magic through the mirror.” Mary Jo rolled some dice, before announcing, “Yup, it’s magic, specifically the schools of Alteration and Evocation.” “Um, no curses?” “None that you could detect,” M.J. said with a straight face. It was hard. “Welp, I say that we do the whole ‘dive in and pray to Celestia’ bit, what about all of you?” Ellen asked. “‘Now hold on, I’m not detecting anything bad about this here boat,’ said Bumble. ‘Can I at least look at it for a bit?’” “‘Your funeral,’” mumbled Gary as Burnished Lore. Susan shrugged. “I’ve got no idea if that’s the Death Boat or not. What color is it?” “Bronze.” “OK, if you said black, I was gonna vote for ‘kill it with fire,’ but now I really don’t know. It...it isn’t chanting, is it?” “No.” M.J. tried and failed to hold back a laugh. “A chanting boat. That’s a new one.” After the others spoke, Luke just looked down at his character sheet, shrugged, and looked up to Mary Jo. “Can I roll a knowledge dungeons check to see if I know of any reason why we shouldn’t jump down?” “Well, the reasons are pretty obvious. If you jump down with your armor, you’ll die. So you’ll have to leave it all behind. You might make it to the landing without dying of hypothermia, but that depends on the luck of the dice.” “Tow rope!” Ellen crowed. “How much rope? The whole party?” “And who pulls it, Bumble?” “Nono...” Ellen stood, to get at the map easier, pointing at the shaft down into the caves. “We drop a rope down with something buoyant attached. Then we keep reeling it out until Bumble can get a hoof on it and drag it over to the boat. Wait, do you breezies have hooves, even? Whatever, and then changes to full size, and ties the rope on. We pull the rope to bring the boat up to the hole, and use the same rope to climb down.” She sat back with a smile. “Clever.” Mary Jo smiled. “Yes. That could work. What do you have that is buoyant?” “I...” Luke flinched at everyone turning to look at him in surprise at once. “I’ve got the water skins of like, four dead earth pony fanatics. Inflate them with air and tie them on.” “Nice!” exclaimed M.J. “Okay, I’ll come up with some rolls to see if your float develops a leak, but otherwise, that should work just fine. You easily have enough rope.” Ellen looked so happy she could burst. M.J. could almost see her as Midnight glowing in the success of following her Goddess’ teachings. At the next table over, Brian pounded the table with one meaty fist. “I don’t care! I pull the orange lever. What happens?” Edgar looked down at the module text. “You hear the screams of thirty more ponies dying in the next room over. What do you do now?” “I pull the blue lever!” “Keep running!” exclaimed Sally, the girl playing Chestnut. “The swarm of flesh-eating bats is getting closer, and closer…” said Alexia, clearly relishing putting her party through the wringer. “Oh, you see an opening to your left, but you’re clearly still running northwards, and—” “Turn left, turn left!” exclaimed Erica. “Okay. On a stone shelf extending into a river is a wooden boat, three pony-lengths long and one and a half pony-lengths wide at its widest. The boat tapers to a point at both ends…” “I think I hear an echo,” said Susan with a frown. M.J. was too busy rolling to pay attention. “One of the bladders develops a slow leak, but it’s not enough to hinder...what?” Susan shook her head. “Never mind. It’s getting too noisy in here to really make out what anybody’s saying other than ourselves.” “Okay, so the rope trick works, right?” Ellen asked excitedly, actively trying to tune out the other groups after hearing the mounting death toll in Edgar’s game. “Yes, the bladder drifts eastward towards Bumble. ‘Should I go intercept it partway?’ he asks you.” Luke shook his head. “Wait until it is well past the bats, then guide it. No need to tug on it until it gets to the bend.” “I assume I’m helping to lower it?” Ellen asked. “Yes,” answered M.J. “You really can’t do anything else at the moment.” “‘Don’t get too far away from the boat,’” Gary as Bernie urged. “‘It’s a magic boat—it might turn into a fish when you’re not looking or something.’” “A boat that can turn into a fish,” M.J. said as she wrote that down. “I swear, you’re making this boat way too interesting. Anyway, it takes about...ten, fifteen minutes, but the float finally appears in Bumble’s view, and he flies over to push it along the surface until it bumps against the boat. Landing inside the boat, he turns himself into a pony—well, the sudden change in elevation in the mirror makes that the most-likely outcome—and he then reaches down and picks up the float. ‘Now don’t rush me’, he says. ‘I’m not exactly an expert on knots or anything.’” Ellen raised her hand. “I cast Competence, give him an extra bonus on that check.” “Alright, he ties the knot, and tugs it about five times in different directions, including up. It doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere. ‘OK,’ he says, ‘I’m ready if you are.’” Luke frowned. “‘Are you still invisible?’” “‘Dunno. I was never invisible to myself.’” Gary passed a note to M.J., and got a reply back. “I cast a spell,” he reported to the others, “and yes, he still is.” “Well then you can just lay down in the boat,” The rogue player advised. “The bats will just see a boat, right? If they even try to look. Then we climb down, and you become small and fly again once we’ve got somepony down there.” “He does that,” reported M.J. “You start pulling the rope—” “Slowly!” shouted practically everybody at the table. “—Slowly,” M.J. said with a grin, “and the boat is dragged upstream. I’ll need strength checks from however many of you are pulling.” Ellen, Luke and Susan volunteered. “My Strength score is crap,” explained Gary, “so I’ll be the guy to react first if anything goes wrong.” “Both Facet and Itty-Bitty want to help, but it’s just not practical for more than three ponies to pull the rope without losing their coordination.” M.J. rolled some dice. “The rope slips out of Midnight’s magic for a moment, but of course that means nothing, and she quickly grabs back hold again.” “I keep an eye on the mirror, which I have brought out from the cave to be close to the others,” said Gary. “You see the rope lifting into the air until it exits through the bottom of the shaft.” “OK, I stop the pulling before they start lifting the boat out of the water.” “The boat is now about three pony-lengths away from the bottom of the shaft.” “Are there any trees around here?” asked Susan. “Yes. If you had thought to wrap the rope around it earlier, I wouldn’t have even bothered with the strength checks.” Ellen just scoffed. “That would have been unsportsmarelike. Okay, so we wrap the rope several times around the tree, tying it twice because why not.” “‘I cut off the free rope after a full pony-length away from the tree because hey, free rope,’ says Facet.” “You should go first, Itty Bitty,” Luke advised. “‘Oh...OK,’ she says, wrapping the rope expertly into a harness around herself. Slowly, she lowers herself into the darkness.” “If I hear her falling, I’m casting Feather Fall as soon as she exits the bottom of the shaft,” Ellen told M.J. “That would be a bit difficult to get the timing right with the mirror and all, but alright.” Yet another dice roll. “She makes it down all right. In the mirror, you see her squeeze through the tight space caused by the rope hugging the edge of the shaft opening, and then lowering herself down at a 45-degree angle down to the boat, which she then boards. ‘Yay,’ she says, quietly, because bats you know.” Luke laughs to himself, before shrugging. “I’ll go next I guess?” “Sure, I don’t see why not,’ Midnight says as she eyes him suspiciously. Spot check?” “Spot check what? Spot check shifty eyes? Carry On always has shifty eyes. Oh, you mean spot check the rope climb. It’s going to be three Dexterity checks: once for the descent, once for the lip of the cavern, and once for that tricky diagonal part.” “Okay, I was meaning to see if Carry On was carrying anything she shouldn’t be, like Celestia’s papers that I gave to Hope.” Luke just grinned, and shrugged. “No papers here.” No papers there, either, he added mentally. “Well...then go right ahead, Carry.” Luke nodded and rolled his three checks. “Pass!” No big surprise—you’re not a very good thief if your Dexterity scores are poor. “Carry On made it down to the boat. Next!” “Midnight is a bit apprehensive about being the failure point of her idea. ‘Um, how about you, Facet?’” Ellen asked with a nervous smile. “‘Very well,’ said Facet, wrapping the same harness around herself that Itty Bitty used. ‘I hope you were paying attention, because I suspect I was the last member of this group trained in rope descent.’ She then dropped out of sight.” “Ouch, the NPCs are miles ahead of you on this one, Midnight,” Luke said with a chuckle. “And somehow, despite flipping over at the ‘lip’ stage, she manages to make it to the boat. So that leaves Burnished, Midnight and Torn Deck.” “You have Feather Fall,” Gary said to Ellen, “so you should probably be last. I’ll go next. I’ll even announce my rolls for extra drama. 14 Dexterity, rolling d20...8, 5...and 1. Do I get something extra for the natural 1?” “Yeah, you don’t get rope burns on your hocks,” M.J. said with a pout, clearly disappointed at the run of luck thus far. Susan picked up Gary’s die and rolled it. “10, 9 and 11. Aw, no 1. Anyway, I made it.” Ellen looked around. “So. Just me up there, right? My turn then. Let’s see, I get that harness on and roll a...19, gah that’s nowhere close to being beneath my score, so...so I fall? Right from the top?” She asked incredulously. “Can I try to grab the rope?” Mary Jo rolled percentile dice. “OK, because you didn’t ask Facet or Itty Bitty for in-depth instruction, none of you were properly harnessed, so Midnight falls right out of hers. You lost your grip 46% of the way down the 20 pony-height shaft...that’s nearly eleven pony-heights above the surface. Another Dexterity check to see if you manage to grab the rope during your fall.” “I cast Feather Fall first!” Ellen said urgently. “Then I try to grab the rope...and...” She slumped against the table and put one of her dice back into her bag. “That one needs a time out. Natural 20.” “In trying to reach for the rope, you are swung head-first into the wall of the shaft, and knock yourself out. Now then!” M.J. pulled out her copy of the Player’s Manual and consulted the entry on the Feather Fall spell. “Casting time was one-tenth of a segment, which is 3/5th of a second. In that time you fell two pony lengths out of the eleven. Once the spell took effect, your speed of falling dropped to a constant four pony-heights per segment, instead of the 19.6 lengths per segment per segment of normal falling. That means it will take you three segments to reach the bottom of the shaft. Unfortunately, the spell only lasts one segment per level of the caster, and you’re Level 1.” Ellen whimpered. “Normal falling resumes at five pony-heights above the bottom of the shaft. And then there’s the distance from there to the water…” Luke sighed. “Did I hear her hit her head on the side of the shaft?” “Roll for it. Your Hear Noises skill is 20%. Bumble’s is a little higher, so I’ll roll for him, too.” The rogue’s player rolled and smiled as he nodded to M.J., showing her an 18 on his percentile dice. Mary Jo looked at Luke. “So, are you going to say anything?” “Falling!’ Then I would do my best to help, depending on what actions my teammates make.” Mary Jo starts counting out loud, slowly. “One...two…” “I drink my Potion of Speed!” Susan exclaims. “...Three…” “Web! I cast Web!” exclaimed Gary quickly. “Anchor it about three pony-heights from the opening, so if she bounces she won’t hurt herself, and if she breaks through we can still do something.” Luke nodded at each plan, before stating his own. “I grab the rope and lower myself into the water so I can grab hold of her if all else fails and she starts to drift downstream.” “OK. Facet prepares her own Feather Fall spell. How long does Web take to cast?” “Two segments,” answered Gary. This wasn’t the first time when lives were on the line for this particular spell. Mary Jo sucked in some air. “That’s going to be pretty close. Twelve whole seconds.” She did some work with a pocket calculator. “Yeah, that’s going to take too long. You should have cast it closer to the water. OK, Facet has committed to casting Feather Fall even if it’s a waste of time. Which is a good thing, because it isn’t. It takes effect when Midnight is about halfway between the roof and the water. Facet is Second Level, so the spell will cover eight pony-heights worth of safe falling. She was…” More work on the calculator. “That covers it. She was five above the water when the spell took hold. If Facet had actually cast the spell the instant when she emerged from the shaft, it would have worn off. Midnight incurs no damage when she hits the water. Ellen, roll a Constitution check to see if you wake up on hitting the water.” Ellen rolled, and then sighed in relief. “Two? Good luck for once?” “You wake up, sputter a bit, and swim over to the boat, where you are fished out.” “I use a towel to dry Midnight off,” said Susan. Together, Susan and Mary Jo said the words “very, very fast.” On account of the Potion of Speed that was still in effect. “I...suppose that would work,” said Ellen. “‘Thank you but I don’t need to be rubbed down through my coat. I...apologize for putting everypony through that. I’ve actually never climbed a rope before,’ Midnight admits.” Ellen shrugged, pointing to her sheet. “Scholar. She’s got nothin’ when it comes to this.” “It’s OK,” M.J. said with a laugh. “Itty Bitty has just recovered from her mini heart attack. ‘You’re alive!’ she exclaims, hugging you fiercely. ‘Don’t ever die on us again!’” “‘I don’t plan on it. Let’s ready ourselves for the bats, and head downstream, Who is good with an oar?’” Ellen asked, looking around the table. “What is that third oar for?!” Gary demanded. He looked like he’d been trying to figure this out for the past ten minutes or so. “Really?” Mary Jo asked. “Do you want me to force an Intelligence check on you?” “Is it for pushing off the walls?” Luke asked quietly. “Close,” said Mary Jo. “Ah, to hell with it,” Gary said, picking up his 20-sided die and rolling it. “3.” M.J. spread out her words for maximum drama. “It...is for...the vital job...of...steering.” “Oh. Right. Because this is a canoe and doesn’t have a rudder.” “Yes!” “You don’t have to get an attitude about it,” Gary said with a self-conscious sniff. “I never made the sculling team at Oxford!” “Guys, Torn Deck has the potion of speed in effect, so he should row, before it wears off. I bet the bats couldn’t even catch us.” “I’m casting Silence anyway,” said Gary. “In fact, I’m definitely casting it. A super-fast boat has got to be noisy.” “Make sure to slow down once we are past the bats, we want a controlled landing—not a crash,” Ellen said as she wrote something down and passed it to M.J. The note said “Do I have a headache or any lasting damage from the head impact and fall?” “You know, I would have completely forgotten about that if you didn’t remind me,” M.J. said with a wicked grin. “Roll 1d4 damage. No permanent effects otherwise.” “I wouldn’t want Midnight to be in pain and me not know about it,” Ellen said somberly as she rolled a three and marked it down. “I’m at 5 hit points. I ready my only Cure Light Wounds that I have left, in case I take any more damage.” Mary Jo’s smile vanished, to be replaced by a look of guilt. “Right,” she said. Luke looked between the two with a bit of confusion. “Relax gals, it’s just a game.” He flinched at the look the two of them gave him from both sides. “Bumble flies up above you. ‘So, now that we’re all in here, do we just cut the rope, or do you want me to fly up there and recover it?’” “‘No!’” exclaimed Gary. “‘Never remove a rope opportunity. We might need it to get out of here in a hurry.’” “‘Can I start rowing now?’” asked Susan as Torn Deck. “‘This potion doesn’t last forever. I promise I’ll hoof over the oars to somepony else when we get close to the ledge.’ Bracing myself, I cut through the rope with my dagger.” “Alright,” said M.J. “Thanks for not chopping it, or I’d have to see if anybody got tossed overboard. You cut loose, and start drifting downstream.” Susan looked at her map. “Should we try this northern passage that Bumble found, or just go straight to the landing?” “I’d say the landing,” Ellen said, biting her lip. “We don’t want to go beyond our explored zone.” The fact that she was zoned out when said passage was found had nothing to do with her decision. “So Torn Deck starts rowing,” said M.J. “Thanks to the Silence spell, you get past the bat area, with not even one of the animals appearing. You continue on, letting somepony else take over for the approach to the shelf.” She looked to see who it was going to be. “I guess I could do it,” said Gary after a few seconds of nobody else volunteering. “And Facet takes care of the steering, as I guess she’s been doing the whole time. So, you continue on until you reach the shelf.” M.J. looked down and started rather obviously reading text straight from the adventure: “The river pours into a high-vaulted cavern from your entrance in the southeast, adding to the ebon-hued lake that touches the walls nearly everywhere. The water is fairly still here and is probably very deep indeed. More than sixteen pony-heights overhead, great stalactites drip onto the mirror-like lake surface of the pool. “There are four streams of water entering or exiting the lake. To the southwest, the water pours over a lip in a 3-hoof waterfall. To the west is a large eddy, on the surface of which can be seen circling bits of flotsam. To the northwest is a passage under a natural stone bridge, and to the northeast, a somewhat narrower passage heads off into darkness. “It appears that there are three landings as well. To the south (the one you got the boat from), the landing gives way to a passage leading southwest. To the west, the landing branches in two directions, and to the north, the landing there leads off to the northwest. “What do you do?” “‘I’d say we get to that ledge, a spot to gather ourselves as well as a good vantage point.’ Carry On moves to reach out and grab it as we pass.” Luke held up a die, waiting to see if M.J. wanted him to roll. “The current is slow enough that even if you missed, you could keep coming back again and again until you succeeded. You’re beached. Does anypony get out of the boat? I mean, besides Bumble, who’s been hovering above the boat the entire time. Oh, and getting out cancels the Silence spell, FYI.” Ellen raised her hand. “Midnight steps off and looks herself over, trying to see if she really needs to heal herself immediately or not.” “Her health hasn’t been deteriorating, but she won’t regain any hit points without a full night of sleep.” “‘Well, I’m not in the greatest of shape, everypony, but I don’t want to use my healing immediately. We have a lot to do still. Does anyone have potions or minor healing that could keep me up?’ Midnight looks around, especially to Carry.” Ellen looked to Luke and raised an eyebrow, only for him to scoff. “‘Well, why would you assume that I would hoard such valuable items to myself, Miss Sparkle?’ He said haughtily. “Um...Cutbelt? I have two bags I didn’t have time to open, anything like that in those?” “A bunch of broken glass in one, and an intact red-colored potion in the other.” Ellen smiled. “‘Well then, what’s that you just found?’” “‘Um...well...’ Does Carry know if it’s a healing potion or not?” Luke asked curiously. “It’s the right color,” said M.J., noncommittally. Gary sighed. “I’ve used up my Detect Magic spell, but I also have a wand of Detect Magic, with eight charges. I could use that, then you’d know for certain.” “‘I’d appreciate it,’ Midnight offers Burnished a few silver in compensation,” Ellen said with a smile. Luke shrugged. “I give the bottle over, no grumbling.” “Burnished gives back the coins. ‘Save it for when you ask for something I’ll really hate to do. I put the bottle down on one of the planks and use the wand.” “You see the potion glow a particular color, which signifies healing. A flash of a different color comes from between the planks, the color of evocation. And the boat glows more faintly with a combination of alteration and evocation.” “Oooh, pretty. I’m going to assume that it’s all going to kill us,” Luke said cheerfully. Ellen chuckled. “I drink the potion, how much better do I feel?” Mary Jo rolls a couple of times. “10 hit points. Too bad you weren’t closer to death’s door.” “Yeah, but we are level one, so we don’t want to accidentally take one big hit.” “I check around for tunnels, stairways, ladders,” Luke said, almost interrupting Ellen. “Like I said, the passage from the landing goes southwest. It also goes around a curve, so you’d have to walk out of sight of the others to follow it. There’s nothing else that you can reach from here—you’d have to get back in the boat to go anywhere else.” “Midnight sits up, feeling a bit better. ‘What do you all think, head down the tunnel?’ I also am speaking to Facet and Itty Bitty.” “I’m out of spells,” Gary said. “Assuming this area is safe, I’d say call an early night and start exploring tomorrow.” “Well, what about something coming from that tunnel?” Susan asked. Gary shrugged. “Who knows how far you’d have to explore to feel safe in that direction? There’s that eddy in the water—we could park the boat there, and nothing would be able to get to us from the land.” “‘But...is the water safe?’ asks Itty Bitty.” “Torn Deck peers into the water.” “You see some white fish and crayfish. All quite large, but neither looking the slightest bit predatory. They shy away from the boat.” “Can we see all the way down to the bottom?” “No, but the clarity of the water should tell you something.” “So...if there was something down there, it would stir up the muck or something?” “Yeah, that.” Ellen frowned. “‘All our options are iffy...I wonder, would anyone mind if I called upon Celestia? I feel...uncertain. I’d like her advice.’” “Go for it,” said Garry. “I always condone divine intervention,” Susan said with a grin. “Great! I raise my hooves up and pray. ‘Celestia...I need your guidance, yet again. I’m sorry I keep doing this.’” Ellen reenacted her pony’s motions, raising her hands—curled into “hooves”—and closing her eyes. “‘How may I assist you, my little pony?’ a voice speaks to you. She seems inordinately pleased at that last phrase she used.” “Huh... ‘We have no idea what we are doing, and I was wondering if you have some grand design we should skip along that wouldn’t involve me getting hurt.’ Midnight is being extra candid today,” Ellen noted. “‘Well, I assume you’ve gone into the cavern already, or I would have told you about a shaft that leads to the underground river. That’s the safest way in by far. As it is, you’ll have to take the southeast passage from the main hall to the Ridiculously Long Tunnel Full of Flesh-Eating Bats, then take the first left to the ledge with the magic boat. After that—’” “‘Woah woah woah, it’s actually called the Ridiculously Long Tunnel Full of Flesh-Eating Bats? That’s harsh, um...we have the magic boat, and we are on the ledge. From here, where do we go?” Ellen asked. “‘Actually, that’s my own name. I suggest you consult a more...authoritative god for the true name.’ (It’s the Corridor of Limitless Bats, if you must know.) ‘Well, you can either go against the current west to the northern passage, or you can risk going over the small waterfall and follow the northwest passage to the Gargoyle Bridge. Of course, the current is quite swift at that point, and if you miss that, you will surely fall off the Gorge of Eternal Peril... Which is not survivable.’ Oh, she seems to be in fine form tonight.” “‘Wow Celestia, you are...anyway, I don’t want us to die, so how do we get to Gargoyle Bridge without falling off the ‘Gorge of Eternal Peril’? Because I don’t want that to happen.’ Midnight cracks one eye open to see if Celestia is actually there with them, because that would be so cool.” “You open your eyes and look around. The others are just looking at you. ‘So, are you going to start?’ asks Facet. ‘You only just closed your eyes a second ago.’ There is no response from Celestia.” “‘Um, right, right. I close my eyes again,’” Ellen said, shrugging. “‘You stop the boat. Seeing that it’s a gargoyle bridge that you’ll be passing under, you could rope one of the gargoyles. Or you can figure out how to control the magic boat. I could see that it was controllable, but didn’t have the time to work out if it operated by buttons, or magic words, or what have you. But I imagine you’ve done that all already. I must say, that was rather convenient of Eggswife, to leave a good-aligned magic boat for everybody to sail around on. She must have wanted all of her would-be pillagers to visit each and every one of her trapped locations, and so provided the most convenient means of travel possible.’” Mary Jo sighed. “You all should be so glad that Celestia is not the P.H., because I’ve got the feeling she’d have pulled a ‘rocks fall, everyone dies’ on the majority of parties I’ve had to deal with. Not you, though. You’re great.” Luke just laughed aloud, shaking his head in wonderment, as Ellen smirked. “‘Right, right,’” said Ellen as Midnight to Celestia. “‘We will figure out how to control the boat, or something. What happens once we get to the bridge?’” “‘Climb up onto the bridge, then go west. You will enter the lair of a creature I have never encountered before, similar to a chimera, but with the parts of a dragon, a lion, and a gorgon. It is an evil and treacherous being, and I am uncertain if there is any non-violent way to deal with it. If you can get past that, there is a passageway in the back of the lair that leads to a blocked-off area. Clear that, and you will have found the only entrance to the lower level of the caverns. I would advise consulting me again before making that descent, as the next level is even more dangerous, and it would take far too long for me to recount paths to take that you might not remember after the trial of facing the chimeric creature.’” Ellen sat, wide eyed and staring at her sister. “You just gave me the key to the whole game,” she said out of character. Mary Jo crossed her arms and matched Ellen’s gaze. “No, you got that already—and no, I am not telling you what that is. This is just blatant cheating.” Luke looked between the two. Then he cracked his knuckles and, for the first time all game, leaned forward to rest his arms on the table, showing real interest in the proceedings. “This...is going to be interesting.” Gary sighed. “I never could get the hang of performance art.” Ellen grinned. “Okay... ‘Thank you for your help, Celestia, we will consult you again as soon as possible.’” “‘Oh, one last thing,’ Celestia quickly says. ‘If you need someplace safe to sleep, stick with the boat landing. The lake has some living rock monsters hiding among the stalactites above it, and the bats never venture around the corner into your area.’” Mary Jo sat quietly for a few seconds. “Excuse me a moment,” she said, then grabbed a handful of dice and flung it into the audience with a look of rage. “There, all better now.” “Gah! What was that for?” Ellen asked, shocked. “Celestia just gave all my random encounters away! What do you expect me to do, sit here and put up with it?” She then got up to get another bag of dice out of her carrying case. “I...fine,” Ellen said hopelessly, looking to the crowd with an apologetic shrug. “Sweet! Mary Jo Powell’s d100!” an audience member cried. “And all I had to do to get it was catch it with my eye!” “I open my eyes and look around,” announced Ellen. “‘So! We stay on the ledge, so that we won’t get attacked by the rock monsters hanging above the lake, and the bats down the hall don’t come this way. We rest, eat...do we have rations? We have to have rations, right?” “I have rations for about half the party,” Luke said. “And I’ve got the other half,” said Susan. “And Facet and Itty Bitty brought enough for themselves and two extra, which is good, because you didn’t plan to have a hungry breezie join your party when you planned this out. You eat and, unless you tell me otherwise, you get right to sleep and getting your spells back.” “Indeed. We do that, and I want to sleep with one hoof over the side of the boat to keep it from drifting away from where most of us are sleeping on the shore,” Luke advised. “Should any of us even sleep in the boat?” asked Gary. “I mean what if it’s haunted?” “Haunted?” asked Mary Jo. “By what? No, seriously, I’d really like to know.” “By...the ghost of the tree it was made from?” speculated Gary. “Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!” laughed Mary Jo. “You guys are making this like, the best boat ever! Also, it might be smart for Midnight to confide something she learned from Celestia.” “‘Oh, right! So a few things.’ Firstly, I explain the whole cave system and everything we will have to face. Then I explain that the boat isn’t evil, and that it likely has a control command, but I don’t know what it is. Or a button or something. I wonder if it has something to do with the third oar...” “‘Just so long as one of the commands doesn’t translate as, “eat all the passengers like an angry Muppet”,’” remarked Gary. “I stand up and remove those loose planks.” “Underneath you find a small mast, wrapped in stiff white fabric.” “I unfurl it,” said Gary. “It’s a square sail, covered with a large rune on either side.” “Any chance there’s a manual under where the mast and sail were?” “Nope.” “I put everything back where it was. We’ll mess with magic boat powers in the morning. Anyway, sleeping in a boat has got to be uncomfortable. Why don’t we just flip it over so it won’t move, and camp around it?” “Sounds good to me,” said Susan. “So, bedtime?” Ellen nodded as she looked to her sister apprehensively. “Bedtime.”