In the dim brightness of the chasm sat nine figures barely more defined than shadows, silhouettes against the blue crystals that dotted the walls. But you didn’t need to see color to understand who was where; each of the figures being so unique that one would have to be dense not to see them. For example, the two ponies stood face to face, the elder with a hoof on the younger’s head. A large brute stood near one of the crystal-lined walls, a much thinner frame beside him with strands of hair flowing freely against a light breeze.
Short bulky figures stood side by side, their wings no longer functioning and their non-magical half-horse examining their flaws. The dwarf was nowhere to be found.
“Twice!” Artemis growled, this time full of pure rage. “Two fatal falls ending in nothing more than dirt stains! That doesn’t make sense, no matter how nonsensical this world is!” His silhouette popped up from the ground, dust falling from his tattered coat as he moved. With a deep breath he added, “We’re almost at the end, it seems.” Staring up at the top of the chasm he could only hope their destination was beyond the edge.
“Why are you complaining, Mud Boy?” Commander Root coughed, the tip of a cigar glowing orange in the darkness. “Be lucky you lived.”
Blinking a few times in confusion, the boy snapped, “Where did you get a cigar?”
“My uniform.”
Princess Celestia cut through any reply Artemis may have thought up with her regal tone. Stepping toward the smallest human, she sighed, “You are Artemis Fowl, correct? I only wish this meeting were under better circumstances.” She nodded slightly, lowering her body to the ground in some form of bow. Common courtesy, of course.
Artemis did his own bow, a courtesy not usually given by him, realizing that he might just be able to salvage his ruined ambitions. It wasn’t likely, but it was possible.
“It is a pleasure to meet you, your highness.” The boy had thought long and hard about scenarios where he met the princess, only to find she was some angry old magician as her age would imply. This version of Celestia caught him entirely off guard. “Our formalities and discussions can wait until Discord’s defeated, don’t you think?”
“Of course,” she nodded, turning back toward Twilight Sparkle.
The smaller pony cheered, “I was afraid Discord had turned you to stone! Thank goodness he didn’t!” She reached back to rub her cutie mark, where Butler’s bullet had almost greatly damaged her.
The princess tittered, “Oh, he did most certainly turn me to stone. As it would turn out, all it takes to break free is a little concentrated anger.” She looked toward Foaly, who was too busy fiddling with Captain Short’s wing pack to even care.
“Foaly?” Artemis inquired, “Foaly freed you?”
“That’s correct. In his anger, he ended up kicking my statue, causing it to shatter around me. Quite interesting, if I do say so myself.” Considering what corruption she had already encountered in her few minutes of being free, Celestia felt compelled to ask, “What of you and the other Elements, Twilight?”
The unicorn replied swiftly, “I’m not sure how it worked, but after I was damaged by one of the humans, the fairies were able to heal me and dispel the stone.” She pointed to her cutie mark, which still showed a sign of the bullet’s corruption.
“Damaged? With what? They couldn’t simply punch you, could they?” The princess looked toward the largest of the humans, doubting her own assumptions immediately.
Artemis explained, “In our world we have machines capable of shooting metal projectiles at super-high speeds.” As he spoke, Butler held up his pistol, still two bullets short of empty, tucking it back in its holster immediately.
Celestia chuckled, “Metal projectiles, hmm? So is that the secret then—earth metal?” She thought back to the seconds before Foaly’s rage-induced strike, seeing something on the bottom of the centaur’s hoof shine in the setting sunlight.
She didn’t have to explain; something clicked in the human genius’s head. “Foaly has hooves, he wears horseshoes! Metal horseshoes!” he exclaimed, realizing that any form of earth-based interference could break Discord’s hold.
“But what of the other Elements, Twilight?” Celestia repeated, concern taking over her tone.
Twilight’s eyes jumped back and forth from the Princess to Artemis, trying to decide how best to answer the question. She finally settled on, “Butler didn’t have enough ammo to free everypony, and Artemis insisted that we needed to reach Foaly’s box as soon as possible. So we just left them in Ponyville…” She sounded guilty and sad, to which Celestia responded with a comforting hoof on the back.
“The boy is right, it would seem. If earth creations can dispel Chaos, then the Elements won’t be necessary. They’ll be fine once this ordeal is finished.” The princess smiled at Artemis, who felt almost sickened by the notion.
What kind of warm smile did he deserve at this point? He’d helped ruin a world and forced a pony to leave her friends behind, all for the sake of a plan that might not even come to fruition.
***
Meanwhile, several yards away from the pony duo, the fairy folk were holding a discussion in light of the happy reunion. The centaur tinkered busily with the captain’s wings as he explained the ordeal he had to face, with the commander puffing at a cigar all the while. Professionalism was all but dead between the LEP officers.
“A maze!” Foaly growled angrily, the Hummingbird Z7 backpack unit resting on the ground in front of him. “Of all the things he could use to distract me, he made a maze!”
Captain Short giggled, “At least you didn’t have to put up with the Mud Men! That boy’s the worst I’ve ever met…” Glancing toward the human in question, her lips stretched into a slight grin.
“And Diggums,” Commander Root grunted dismissively, barely invested in the topic.
The centaur scoffed curiously, “Where is the klepto anyway?”
“Dead, hopefully!” Root laughed, imagining how much easier his life would be without the criminal scum. And then he sighed, “Though, he has been helpful since we’ve been here.”
“Really? Mulch, helpful?” the techy questioned, still concentrating on the captain’s wing machine. Frustration was beginning to bubble as the machine refused to cooperate. The orange glow of sunset was beginning to fade away above the chasm. “D’Arvit!” he cursed as his time began to run short.
Holly and Root jumped in shock, the rest of the creatures in the chasm seemingly ignorant of his outburst. With a sigh of apology, the half-horse returned to the machine, more than a little determined to get it working. Even one pair would be preferable to none.
The captain scolded, “Don’t get so mad, Foaly. If you can’t fix it, we’ll just climb out. It can’t be that hard. She scanned the chasm walls, the blue crystals resting in what resembled a staircase pattern, almost teasingly so.
“If this was any model other than Hummingbird, I’d have it fixed in an instant!” he retorted angrily.
Root scoffed mockingly, “There’s no sense in being jealous just because it’s Koboi Labs’ tech!” With another puff of his cigar, he broke into a coughing fit.
The name sparked a flame inside Foaly’s gut, but it was one he couldn’t spread yet. There was no way Julius could know what his future held, and the centaur had to keep it that way. To redirect his anger, he growled, “Can you blame me? We’ve been rivals for years.” In the glow of one of the nearby crystals, he noticed a spark of light from Holly’s holster.
“Still, you need to watch that temper Soldier,” the commander stated, the irony obviously lost on him.
To which the captain jeered, “Look who’s talking!”
Before the superior officer could respond, Foaly laughed, “So what’s with the Neutrinos? Did you do some unauthorized modifying?” As the two officers exchanged confused looks, he added, “The council could have your badges, you know!”
It then clicked what he was referring to as Root drew his gun. “Copper wire, courtesy of a fan store in Ponyville,” he explained, sounding almost too proud.
“Copper wire? Why?”
Holly shook her head and sighed, “The commander thought that maybe copper wire would protect our guns from whatever radiation this world was made of.” Sensing the anger in her superior’s glare, she added, “This was before we managed to contact you, of course!”
“That doesn’t make any sense!” Foaly snapped, almost too confused to even scold them. “How would copper do anything for you?”
“Lay off it, will ya!” Root growled, his face flushing red in the darkness out of embarrassment. “It’s not like it would hurt it anyway!”
“Have you even tried firing those things?” the centaur refused to drop the argument, almost certain that the level of stupidity required for such a plan was reserved only for Goblins and Mud Men. “The battery would’ve shorted out and zapped you to High Haven!” He snatched the blaster from the commanding officer and began stripping the copper from it.
“Well how was I supposed to know that?!” the commander snarled, feeling a bit too disrespected to act professional.
Captain Short stomped her foot and snapped, “You two just shut up!”
With that angry burst, the yelling stopped; all eyes were on her. Even those scattered throughout the chasm stared at her, fear and curiosity in abundance.
***
Butler and Juliet stood quietly near the far wall of the chasm, the glow of the crystals illuminating them just enough to make out certain key features. The brute and the girl, siblings employed by the Fowl family, were drawn into the most bizarre adventure that any human could ever imagine. As far as they were concerned, they’d done their duties tenfold to Artemis by suffering through the unusual experience.
“You have to admit, it’s been kinda fun,” Juliet chuckled as she stared at the strange creatures standing in the open. There were talking ponies, fairies, and even centaurs, all creatures of legend that apparently really did exist. “I mean, you can’t get this stuff being a normal corporate bodyguard.”
Butler conceded, “You’re right; it’s been a wild ride. If we ever make it back, I might just need therapy.” With a smile he praised, “I’m impressed you’ve stayed so calm through it all! I even heard you held your own against the fairies.”
“Yep!” Juliet cheered. “Went toe-to-toe with the captain and commander! I was about to win when that orange pony stuck her nose in the mix!” Flexing her arms cockily, she scoffed, “I guess those wrestling shows aren’t that bad after all, huh?”
The elder sibling chuckled, “I’ll tell you what my mentor told me: ‘In our business, cocky is just another word for dead.’” He placed a hand gently on his sister’s head and smiled.
“Hey bro, do you think what Artemis said was true?”
“Artemis has said a lot of things in these last few days. Could you be more specific?”
“About character development; you know, Discord’s game. The way we’ve been acting when we aren’t normal…is that really what we become?”
The brute frowned as he considered the question. “I see no reason why it can’t be.” Questioning his orders and feeling remorse for his actions were things no Butler bodyguard ever really did. They were trained to obey and protect, under any circumstance. If that were to change, how effectively could he really do his job?
“So I’ll be brave enough to fight magical monsters? Neat!” Juliet giggled, the gravity of the situation escaping her. She was herself again mostly, the younger sister of a well-trained bodyguard and a temporary employee of the Fowl family.
It was comforting for Butler to know that, perhaps once Discord was defeated, they would all return to normal and live their lives naturally. Whether that meant they would be dragged into Artemis’s obsessions with the fairy people was yet to be seen. As he pondered his possible future self, he heard the fairy captain explode with anger.
The chasm echoed with her anger, several loose rocks tumbling under the force of the vibrations.
***
After their discussion with Artemis had ended, the two Equestrian natives wandered away from the rest of their companions in the hopes of discussing personal matters. The teacher and student, princess and subject, the only ponies to witness Discord’s new hold on their home. It was an undoubtedly huge concern for them, having to sit idly by and hope some alien creatures could set things right.
Princess Celestia felt a nagging in the back of her head, dread that perhaps the earthlings weren’t as capable as they made themselves out to be. When she and Twilight had finally distanced themselves from the foreigners, she sighed, “Are you certain about them, Twilight? Do you honestly believe that cold human can stop Discord?” Even in the shadows of the chasm, her eyes shined with worry.
“I can’t know for sure, but if anyone can do it, it’ll be Artemis. He found a way into our world, after all!” Twilight smiled for a moment before she added, “True it was with Discord’s help, but surely he can think of something.” Her horn released a purple glow, a small object in her saddlebag being wrapped in the magical energy. Silver, watch-like, and silent, Artemis’s device hovered uselessly in front of them.
“What is this, a watch?” the princess scoffed, uncertain as to how a simple timepiece could help them.
The younger pony tittered, “This is Artemis’s device, the one that brought him here. When Discord was released, it lost all of its energy. Artemis gave it to me to hold onto before we left Ponyville.” Tucking it safely back in the bag, she cheered, “Whatever he has planned, I’m sure it involves this thing!”
Before Celestia could reply, a loud shout courtesy of the fairy captain bounced around the chasm, snapping every individual in it to attention. Even Artemis, she noticed, took his eyes from his parchment scribbling to watch.
***
The two embarrassed fairies shared looks of fear, their female companion on the verge of shutting them up manually. Taking a breath to calm herself down, the captain lowered her fists and simply sighed, “Can you fix our wings, or not?”
The intensity of the situation melted fairly quickly as the two male fairy folk ended their bickering. Foaly finished removing the wire from the commander’s Neutrino and neighed, “I’m afraid not. Even with the engine repaired, there’s not enough sunlight left to power the batteries.”
Everyone’s eyes shot toward the top of the chasm, realizing that barely a shred of setting sunlight still washed over the surface. No, it was night, and the shadows of the chasm grew even darker than before. The crystals seemed to lose their glow, the makeshift stairways vanishing with the sun. The sound of scratching wire echoed around them as Foaly fine-tuned Holly’s weapon.
“So we climb?” Root grunted, the cigar in his lips glowing at the end.
“Climb what,” Juliet scoffed, “these crystals? In this light?”
“One wrong step and we’d be impaled…” Butler added to the point, cutting a hand on the nearest crystal for emphasis.
Princess Celestia stepped back toward the rest of the group, her horn glowing golden in the darkness. In front of her flew a massive ball of gold light. For the first time since crashing, they could see each other’s faces clearly. Another ball of light, smaller and more concentrated floated toward the wall of crystals.
Twilight giggled, “The princess and I have the light issue covered!”
“There’s still the issue of the deadliness of these crystals,” Artemis stated bluntly, shoving his parchment back into his barely-functional coat. “Whoever designed these into a staircase was unprepared for creatures without wings or armor, it would seem.”
Foaly whinnied in agreement, “My hooves aren’t that steady! They aren’t as large you Equestrians, either…” He stared at the wing packs by his feet, wishing they could only work at night. And then it struck him like a lightning bolt! Doing a sporadic little dance where he stood, he grabbed Twilight by the saddlebags and all but dragged her to his side.
With a cheer he clopped his hooves on the ground and began to explain, “These Hummingbirds run on solar energy, which in this world we know to be magic! Since they got to this ravine on the sun’s magical radiation, wouldn’t it make sense for them to work with a little juice from our lovely pony companions?” He picked up one of the wing packs and held its solar receptors toward Twilight, practically shoving it in her face.
“Give it a blast of magic, and don’t hold anything back!”
Artemis snapped, “What if she overloads it? What then?”
The centaur dismissed him with a kick of his hind hooves. “If she overloads it, it won’t work. Not like we’d be losing much, right?” With a nod, he urged the unicorn to let loose her magic.
Twilight looked at her teacher with confusion and received an uncertain but confirming nod. Shrugging indifferently, the purple pony charged her ball of light full of her signature magic and sent it pooling into the small metal panels in the top of the fairy’s wing pack. When the sound of magical dispersion finally faded, a mechanical whirring filled the chasm.
Foaly was so excited that he almost tossed the machine into the air. Its wings flapped silently in the golden glow of Celestia’s light, the pack itself whirring louder than normal. “No matter,” the centaur laughed, “it should get us to the top of this horrible place no problem!” He forced it into Captain Short’s hands and immediately pointed the other toward Twilight.
With a deep breath, the young pony conjured up what magic she had left and pummeled the machine with it, the engine roaring just like the other one. By the time Commander Root had his hands on the second Hummingbird, Captain Short had already hooked the three humans to her Moonbelt. She lifted them up with minimal effort.
Commander Root grunted as he equipped his pack, “Do you think this thing can handle all three of them?” He scanned Foaly and Celestia, realizing that they had to be much heavier than the two young Mud Men.
“I can carry Twilight with my magic, if your machine can handle Foaly and I,” Celestia picked up instantly on his concerns, having considered them herself in those few short moments.
Foaly shrugged and whinnied excitedly, “Worth a shot!” He took two hooks from the belt and wrapped them around his and Celestia’s hooves. As they lifted up from the ground following their escort, Celestia wrapped Twilight in a weightless field of telekinetic magic, just as Twilight had done to Mulch.
And before any of the present company could think of something clever to say, they were at the top of the chasm, standing on moonlit solid ground, staring toward the large black silhouette of Foaly’s box.
They were greeted with an explosion of dirt, followed by several pained coughs, all topped off with the pungent smell of flatulence.
“What in the name of everything holy is this city built on?!” Mulch screeched as he fell to his knees, his stomach audibly churning.
“That’s not important!” Artemis snapped. For the first time since arriving in the land of Equestria, things were finally on the right track to following one of his plans. So many variables, so many unknowns, so many distractions…
And there it sat, mere meters way, right at the epicenter of chaos and confusion, the one thing that might get them home, get things right. Foaly’s workstation was just within their reach, and for the first time since he’d created his device he felt that things were under his control. He knew where he was going and for what reasons he needed to get there. Also a first for him was that his reasons were not entirely selfish!
So he ignored the dwarf that was rolling around in pain on the ground and broke into a run, almost a sprint—yet another first for him. Captain Short and Foaly, against their better judgments, ran to Mulch’s side, not willing to let him suffer after having helped them. The rest of the group followed Artemis without hesitation. With everything they’d suffered through since arriving in that bizarre world, they simply wanted it to end.
And as far as they could tell, an end they would soon have.