//------------------------------// // 2. The Outsider // Story: Welcome to Pony Vale // by Distaff Pope //------------------------------//         “Hey, Rarity, did you already draw your number for the picnic?” Lyra asks as her friend unlocks the door and beckons Lyra inside. Outside, the sun continues its descent.         “No,” Rarity says as she clicks the door to her house shut and the scientific equations designed to protect the house hum back to life. “I’m one of the… lucky few who doesn’t have to participate.”         Lyra shakes her head and smiles. “Right, I forgot your family has a pass for… how long do you have left?”         “Forty-seven years,” Rarity says as they start climbing the stairs leading to the broadcast room. “Sweetie Belle could very well have grandfoals before we have to go to the picnic.” Rarity raises an eyebrow at her friend, “I take it you weren’t this years winner?”         “Nope!” Lyra says, beaming at her friend as they reach the top of the stairs. As long as Bonnie doesn’t win, we’re in the clear for another year… Hey, Rarity, can I ask you a question?” “Of course,” Rarity says as she takes a seat behind her broadcasting desk. “What’s on your mind?” “Well, pretty much everypony’s at the picnic, right, so why are we doing this show? It feels kind of pointless.” Rarity laughs and shakes her head. “Because we have to be consistent, darling. We can’t just cancel the news because everypony’s at a picnic. Besides, if something major happens, we need to be here to broadcast it. You were at the picnic, right?” Lyra nods as she starts fiddling with the control board. “And how many ponies had their radios with them?” “A lot,” Lyra says, turning her attention from the control board to Rarity. “Plus… there are a lot of unicorns there who can pick up the broadcast, themselves.” “And there it is, dear. If the mysterious fog starts moving in from the Everfree, we need to be here to warn the ponies at the picnic,” Rarity says, glancing at the scrying orb that sits next to her microphone. In response, it flashes images from the town’s perimeter. “I guess that makes sense,” Lyra says, scratching idly at her cheek. “Are you ready?” “Of course, dear,” Rarity says as the on-air light flashes on. “As the summer sun beats down on our sleepy town hosting its annual picnic, scientists tell us that somewhere, someplace, windigos are howling. Welcome to Pony Vale.” ***         A friendly reminder: Even though the nightly curfew has been lifted, the town council still advises taking the utmost precautions when planning a nightly excursion. Remember to bring your rock-salt shotgun and cyanide capsule with you when going out after sundown. The single night howler still hiding out in town has been giving the weather team no end of trouble as they seek to apprehend it. Our sympathies go out to the family members of the weather squad that was torn apart in the attempt to remove the monster. Also, Rainbow Dash is paying handsomely for anypony who brings in a scrap of a slain weather team member. Now, the bounty only applies if the body part can be verified as coming from a member of the weather team, so no grave robbing. Digging through the graveyard in the middle of the night isn’t just dangerous, it’s disrespectful, and beneath the dignity of our wonderful little town.         The town council is encouraging anypony attending today’s picnic to join the scavenger hunt in Jubilee Park. The family who finds the most equine remains gets a special prize. Remember, foals are wonderful for reaching into those tiny places you can’t get at and searching areas you’d never even think of looking through. This years scavenger hunt is fun for the whole family.         Now, speaking of the picnic, I’ve been hearing complaints from ponies about this town’s annual lottery. While I can understand the pain of losing a family member who won the lottery and the fear of winning the lottery yourself, I have to remind ponies that the lottery is absolutely necessary for the survival of our town. Without the annual blood sacrifice, the equations warding our town from evil will fail and all the horrors of the Everfree can come pouring through. The last time those equations failed, the night howlers found their way into town, and who knows how many ponies were ripped apart by their many toothy mouths?         Pony Vale needs the lottery just as surely as our town needs the weather team or the strange hooded figures occasionally seen leaving, but never returning to, Sugarcube Corner. Without these institutions, our town just isn’t Pony Vale. Ponyville doesn’t have a town lottery, and we don’t want to be like Ponyville, do we, dears?         [A warning klaxon blares in the background]         Listeners, something just crossed the border into town. I’m getting an image of it now, and it… no, she is the most perfect thing I have ever seen. Her coat is a delightful shade of lavender, her purple mane is… Listeners, there are no words to describe how stunning it is, and her nose is…         [Rarity gives a girlish squeal of delight]         Oh, listeners, it is just so cute, I really wish you could see her, The only word I can use to describe her is simply: perfect. That’s what she is listeners, and… Get it together, Rarity, the horrors of the Everfree can take many appealing shapes to entice and deceive us, and we cannot allow ourselves to fall prey to their… admittedly alluring forms. Button Mash is still babbling about extra dimensions and strange colors after playing that game he found on the border of the Everfree.         The… thing that could be but isn’t necessarily a beautiful perfect unicorn is wandering into town, a frown and look of confusion playing out on her wonderfully expressive face, and… Oh! Just as I said that, she started tapping a hoof against her head violently and muttering something I can’t hear. I’m just now seeing this, but following a few paces behind her is a small purple lizard thing with green spines. It is… less cute, but still rather charming.         She is… mouthing something, and I’m turning the audio of my scrying orb on to hear just what she’s saying. Let’s see, she’s saying: “Who keeps talking? The town seems empty, but somepony is…” Her ears are perking up. “How do they know what I’m saying?”         Oh listeners, that’s just delightful, she can hear me. Do you know what that means? It means she really is a unicorn. If she wasn’t, her illusory horn couldn’t pick up this station’s broadcasts. Hello, dear, let me be the first to welcome you to our sleepy little town. Please, enjoy your visit, and I hope you’ll be staying long enough for me to give you a proper greeting.         “Can you please talk about something that isn’t me?” she asks, frowning and rubbing her forehead. How inconsiderate of me, I should have realized how uncomfortable hearing a voice in my head describing my every action would make me.         As fortune would have it, I have an announcement on my desk about the strange winged unicorns – Not alicorns, of course, alicorns don’t exist – first seen on the day that never happened… No, not that one, dear.... No… not that one either… I’m talking about the day we just pretend never happened. Yes, that one. Well, the… winged unicorns have been seen just… hanging around Fluttershy’s cottage. When the weather ponies tried to bring her in to discuss the weather, they were repelled by a wall of kinetic energy created by the winged unicorns, who proclaimed in unison, “This is a safe place, blessed by light, and those who harbor darkness shall come no further.” Well, it sounds like if you plan on going by Miss Fluttershy’s in the near future, be sure not to harbor any darkness, whatever that means. I, for one, will be having her do the visiting until this whole winged unicorn thing blows over.         In response to the winged unicorns perceived act of aggression, the town council issued a statement reading that, “The abominations presence here is an affront to our sovereignty. Unless they turn themselves over to the powers that be, their existence here shall herald the unravelling of all things.” As usual, this statement was issued through forty-foot high letters emblazoned in the sky in a language that blinds all who comprehend it. More on this story as it develops.         Listeners, more on the outsider who is currently wandering through our town. To the unknown yet seemingly perfect outsider, I apologize in advance for describing your actions for the benefit of our listeners. The outsider, with her stunning mane and coat, has been seen wandering through the town’s streets, muttering to her unidentified companion that everything is the same but not, followed by musings that she died in the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters.         It sounds to me like she’s another victim of the crown’s cruelty, so if she came to Pony Vale seeking asylum in either this life or the next, I say we welcome her with open hooves. All who have been lost in the dark are welcome in Pony Vale.         Lyra is passing me a missive direct from the town council: To everypony enjoying or discussing the town picnic, you are prohibited from discussing the central event of the picnic as long as the outsider roams our town’s streets. We cannot risk our secrets being gleaned by one in the employ of the dragons that control the world. They certainly cannot learn of the secret lab located miles below our town.         Listeners, I don’t believe I was meant to read that last bit on air, raising the question of why the town council would include it in the announcement they meant for me to read on air… Unless, I suppose it’s conceivable that they want the outsider to learn about the secret lab beneath our town, for reasons I can’t even begin to guess at. All I know is that I fulfilled my job to the letter, and cannot be charged with misconduct or disseminating information for the benefit of the Enemy.         Back to the outsider, she has moved to a point on the outside of town and ignited her hor– Listeners, the outsider’s horn isn’t runed. I repeat, we have an unruned unicorn loose on the streets of Pony Vale.         [The warning klaxon wails in the background]         This is a Class-A emergency. Everypony is to report back to their houses as soon as possible. If you haven’t drawn… If you haven’t participated in the thing we shouldn’t talk about, please do so with all due haste. This year’s picnic is officially cancelled. To the unruned unicorn, the weather team is currently coming to pick you up for an emergency runing. As soon as the etching process is complete, you will be free to roam the streets of Pony Vale as you see fit. Until then, please stay put.         [The warning klaxon fades away]         No, outsider, you’re supposed to stay where you are. While I understand your enthusiasm to get your horn runed, we can’t risk you running through town in your current state. I promise the situation will be resolved as quickly as possible, just… Listeners, she’s outside my door, she’s… she’s using her horn to blast through the bloodstone, and… it’s working. The door is melting. The amount of mag– The amount of energy required for that to be possible is staggering. Listeners, I have to go. Until I return – assuming that I do return – the weather. ***         The sound of Rarity’s voice is replaced with light jazz as she gets on her hooves.         “Lyra, stay in your booth and make sure the weather keeps playing until I return, I’m going to…” Rarity pauses to swallow her fear. “I’m going to talk with the outsider… If I don’t return, I trust you can continue these broadcasts without me.”         “O– Of course,” Lyra says, giving her best smile while fighting back tears. “I mean, I have the hard job, you just have to sit and talk.”         Rarity returns her friends smile. “That’s what I hoped to hear, just remember, don’t cry on the radio, whatever else you do, don’t do that. It attracts the sorrow spiders.”         Lyra nods as Rarity turns to head downstairs. She takes a deep breath to calm her nerves as she reaches the top of the stairs. Everything’s going to be fine, she tells herself as she heads downstairs.         “H– Hello,” Rarity says as she descends the stairs to her living room. “I know you’re probably upset and confused, but… there’s no reason to do something drastic… like blast a hole through my wards.”         The intruder spins around to look at the pony descending the stairs and her eyes go wide. “What!? No, you can’t be… you look just like Rarity. I mean, I know you sounded like her, but I just thought that was a coincidence.”         Rarity laughs nervously. “Well, of course I do, I am Rarity, after all.”         “No… I mean you look like the Rarity from Ponyville, this whole town looks like Ponyville, but it’s all wrong and… What’s going on? Do you have a sheet of paper I can use?”         “I do,” Rarity says, ignoring the reference to Ponyville and trotting over to a nearby bookcase filled with sheets of paper and bookbindings, and floating a loose sheet towards the intruder. “Can I ask what you–”         “Great!” The intruder says, quickly ripping the paper from her host’s telekinetic field, who offered slightly less resistance than a newborn foal, and if the intruder had been in a less frenzied state of mind, she might’ve noticed that weakness. Instead, she just grabbed a nearby quill (without asking) and started to writing her letter.         “So,” Rarity asks, glancing from the hole in her door to the intruder, and hoping the weather team was listening to her broadcast, “what’s your name, dear?”         “Twilight Sparkle,” the unicorn says as she scratches at the paper. “But you’d know that if you were the real Rarity. If you were the real Rarity…” She growls. “Where the hay am I?”         “You’re in Pony Vale, dear. We’re a small town on the edge of the Everfree, and… I’m sorry, but I have to ask, what’s this about there being a real Rarity? I’m fairly certain I’m real, although I admit to having doubts fueled by existential ennui on occasion, and the very idea that Ponyville is somehow more ‘real’ than Pony Vale is insulting. Those charlatans simply co-opted our good name for their own nefarious plots.”         “There,” Twilight says, stabbing the parchment one last time and rolling it up before floating it to the lizard thing on her back. “Spike, send it.”         “Right away,” Spike says as a jet of green flame shoots out of his mouth, quickly devouring the paper. He looks at Rarity. “So,” he says, “how similar are you to the real Rarity?”         “I don’t know,” Rarity says, frowning as glances impatiently at the door. “I’ve never met the mare, and I’m starting to get insulted by the implication that I’m not the real Rarity. Now can I please ask just what you think you’re doing? Right now, just being around you is probably a felony, so–”         “All I did was use my magic,” Twilight snaps, spinning around to glare at Rarity. “I cast one spell and then sirens started blaring and… why could I hear your voice in my head?”         “Because unicorn horns make excellent receivers, especially unruned ones, and I’m guessing nopony taught you how to tune the noise out, although I’m sure we’ll correct that if you spend much more time here.” Rarity gives a sigh of relief as she spots a familiar cyan pegasus flying towards her door. Twilight follows her gaze and ignites her horn, raising a pink wall of energy up to seal the door.         “Sorry, but staying here isn’t really part of my plan. Any second now, Celestia will get back to me, and I’ll get to go home, I just need to hold… off…” Twilight trails off as she looks at the pegasus crumpled up who just ran face first into her wall. “Rainbow Dash!”         “Yes, otherwise known as the captain of the weather team, otherwise known as the one pony you really don’t want to knock out,” Rarity says, trying to figure out how this situation could be any worse for her or the physically perfect Twilight Sparkle. “Perhaps next you’ll want to burn down town hall or recite the forbidden codex in Jubilee Park, since you seem intent on breaking every single rule in Pony Vale.”         “I don’t even know your town’s stupid rules!” Twilight yells, nostrils flaring. “In your radio broadcast, it’s nothing but ‘don’t do this’ and ‘avoid talking about that,’ and I have no idea what you’re talking about, so maybe you could cut me a little slack and call off the attack dogs.”         The lizard belches out another green flame, and Twilight grabs at the scroll before it fully materialize. She throws the seal to the ground and unfurls it, eyes darting from one side of the paper to another. Rarity watches as the mare deflates before her very eyes and ponders just what to do about the intruder.         She’s certainly quite lovely, Rarity thinks, the gears turning in her head. But that doesn’t change the fact that she’s unruned and a danger to the town. Why, if she casts the wrong spell, the entire town could blow up, or she could be possessed by a rogue spirit, and then we’d have another one of those terrible rampages that just ruins the whole day.         Rarity taps her hoof on the ground. And then there’s the issue of me being seen as aiding and abetting a fugitive by the town council. If that happens… well, Sweetie already lost her mother, and… I don’t want to put her through losing another family member. Not if I can help it Rarity smiles at Twilight, too busy staring at her letter to notice, and heads to the stairs leading to her basement.         Let’s see, apparently my radio broadcasts are almost debilitating for her, which would mean… Her eyes light up as she recognizes a jagged metal cylinder in her weapons cabinet and floats it towards her. Oh, I knew my fifth grade science project would come in handy again. Lovely to see you again, dear, how have the years treated you? She aims the device in front of her as she heads upstairs and tries to keep herself from sobbing.         Upstairs, Twilight is still staring down at the letter, now resting on the ground, mumbling to herself, while Spike stands next to her. He didn’t need to see what was about to happen next. “This… this can’t… I’m here, I couldn’t,” she says. Rarity clears her throat. “Twilight, dear, could you please send Spike upstairs while we have a… talk?” Twilight lifts her head up and looks from Spike to the device floating in front of Rarity before nodding her head. “Yeah… Spike, go upstairs… is there anyplace he should wait?” “Yes, the second door on the right, there’s a lovely unicorn there who I’m sure will delight in having some company while the weather plays.” Rarity smiles at him. “I promise your friend will be back with you before you know it… Until then, let’s say we’re having a sleepover. Won’t that be fun?” He looks from the stairs to Twilight, “But… what’s going–” “Spike! Upstairs! Now!” Twilight yells before giving a nervous laugh. “I mean, just… stay with Rarity until I come to get you, and I will come to get you.” Before he can say anything in response, a purple light surrounds Twilight’s horn and he floats up the stairs. “So,” Twilight says, turning to look back at Rarity. “What’s the plan?” “I pull the trigger, you pass out, and when you wake up, everything will be fine.” “You mean I wake up with those marks on my horn,” Twilight says, pointing a hoof at Rarity’s horn. “For your own safety,” Rarity says, giving the outsider a forced smile. “The last unruned unicorn who came to town went insane and summoned an ancient evil that almost strangled the entire town. We’d prefer not to have a repeat of that incident.” “You know I could take that from you in a second, right?” Twilight asks, bracing herself. Rarity nods. “I do, but I can pull the trigger in half a second.” Twilight nods and ignites her horn as Rarity pulls the trigger. Twilight’s mouth drops open and her entire body spasms before she drops to the floor, limbs still twitching         “I’m really just… very sorry about this, Twilight Sparkle, and I promise I’ll make it up to you,” Rarity says, tears stinging her eyes as two ponies from the weather team come in to take the unconscious unicorn away, while two others tend to their captain. ***         Well, listeners, I have wonderful news, the unruned unicorn is being taken to a secure undisclosed location for the engraving process. Normally, her reckless use of magic would be met with indefinite detention, but I’d like to make an appeal to the powers that be: Twilight Sparkle, the outsider, is new here, and she’s not familiar with our customs. I beseech you to release her after she’s made safe. Let me have a few weeks to teach her the rules of Pony Vale, and if… if she makes a mistake again… well, we have to give her a chance to at least understand our ways before punishing her         [There is a pause as the faint sound of a pony sniffling can be heard, before Rarity’s voice returns, filled with its usual cheer]         If Pony Vale is to thrive in these modern times, we have to learn to, at least, tolerate outsiders and their strange customs. Obviously, our rules still have to be enforced, but we can also show understanding to newcomers. I have no doubt that Pony Vale is the greatest town in Equestria, and if we give outsiders a chance to understand our customs, I’m sure they’ll agree with us.         Stay tuned for the sound of a unicorn undergoing the worst torment imaginable. Good night, Pony Vale. Good night.