As I paced up and down the room considering Lucid’s “offer” I felt my uneasiness grow with each passing step. Inner conflicts weren't something I usually had to deal with because most of the time I knew exactly what I wanted. However, this time it was different. This time it was really hard to make up my mind. Every time I came even close to make a decision my mind instantly filled with doubts. Was it because Lucid’s words were still ringing in my head?
“Just make sure you won't regret your decision afterwards.”
If it hadn’t been for those accursed words it would have been so much easier. At first I was convinced that she was just trying to play me, that she was merely following her own agenda, that she was nothing more than a monster…but now…now I wasn’t so sure anymore. If she truly had a hidden agenda she wouldn’t just leave things up to chance…would she?
So what was she truly after? Was this just a carefully laid out trap or was she genuinely offering her help? There was also the possibility that both assumptions were wrong and she was merely trying to sate her curiosity. Oh why couldn’t the world be black and white for once? It would make things so much simpler…
Casting a glance in Lucid’s direction I realised that she was still patiently waiting for my response. It was only now that I realised how quiet the mare had been. She never said a single word…not even once. Why? Wouldn’t it make more sense if she tried to talk me into one option or the other?
Oh great…I just realised that I was thinking in circles again. Why did it have to be so hard anyways? Betting my sanity in order to sate my curiosity was probably the dumbest thing I could ever do…and yet it seemed so appealing. Could the information really be worth the risk?
Hmm...probably…
Come to think of it…wasn’t this a big chance to turn the tables? All this time I had been completely oblivious to everything that was going on around me. So maybe I could really use this to my advantage. Yeah…getting the information would probably be for the best…
“Lucid?”
“Yes?”
“Show me…”
When I gave her my answer, a smile began to spread across her face.
“I knew that you’d be fun…”
Lucid let her eyes wander around the room a finale time before she moved a hoof in her pocket and pulled out a small silver hip flask. Giving me a toothy smirk she then raised it and took a sip. As she poured the liquid down her throat I couldn’t help but shudder a little. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what it was…
Lucid who obviously noticed my disgusted glances began to speak in an amused tone.
“You think watching me drink is bad? Try to be the one drinking it instead.” she said and rolled her eyes before she continued “I swear this stuff tastes awful. Not a surprise…considering it’s neither fresh nor pure...”
“So…eh…is there any reason why you are doing this now?” I asked, eyeing the flask.
“Well…what I am about to do next requires a lot of energy… energy I don’t have because I haven’t fed in quite a while.” she said and took another sip.
It took Lucid only a few moments before she finished her…drink. As soon as she was done she put the flask back into her jacket and threw it on the dirty couch. Then she also discarded her jacket, raised one of her forelegs and ordered me to take a step back.
“Come forth…Obsession” she said with an otherworldly voice.
As she said those words shadows began to gather around her and slowly crept up her body. Mesmerized by the spectacle I watched as the shadows slowly liquefied at the tip of her hoof. The dark liquid began to trickle down in mid-air…closely resembling water running down a spider’s thread.
When the shadows were finally close to reaching the ground the flow suddenly changed its direction. The shadows crept upwards until they reached their summit and branched off in a right angle. All the shadows which were still dormant up to this point now also began to swirl around Lucid and the strange construct she was holding.
For a few moments the whole room was shrouded in darkness. As the darkness faded and Lucid surfaced I was struck with awe. The mare was now clad in a blood red hooded cloak. That tattered cloak looked as if it belonged in some kind of horror story. However the thing that Lucid was holding in her hoof was far more unsettling. It was an elegant black scythe with blood red ornaments engraved onto it. She truly looked terrifying…yet at the same time somehow familiar. My mind only needed a few moments to associate her with a certain painting in the royal museum of visual arts.
“…the blood-soaked goddess…” I breathed.
“Oh my…I haven’t heard that one in a very long time. Considering that most ponies tend to write off Ponet’s later works as the first sign of his descent into madness, I’m quite surprised that you actually know the title of that particular painting.” Lucid said with a smile before she pulled back her hood.
“So that pony on that portrait…that goddess…is she really …”
“Yes…that pony is supposed to be me…or rather an idealized version of myself.” she said and let out a deep sight before she continued “You see…to Cloud I’ve always been a source of inspiration…a muse…if you so like.”
“You were…an item?” I asked in disbelief.
The mare raised an eyebrow and gave me a look that was half questioning and half annoyed. However, after she realised that I really meant what I said she suddenly burst into laughter.
“Oh...he wished. Unfortunately for him…the feeling wasn’t mutual.” she said with a wink. “While I prefer to surround myself with those who are especially brilliant or talented…it doesn’t mean that I’m romantically attracted to them. However, this isn’t the time to talk about my past. Maintaining Obsession the way I am right now isn’t easy…and takes quite the toll on me…
“Obsession? You mean that creepy scythe…” I asked and pointed at the weapon “…or that strange get-up?”
“Octavia…for somepony who faces one of Equestria’s most dangerous creatures you act far too carefree.” she said and shook her head.
“Well…how would you expect me to react? Considering everything that has happened so far I’m amazed that I’m still among the sane…” I replied with a smile.
When I realised the annoyed look on her face I immediately began to regret my words. That answer was most certainly not what she wanted to hear.
Wait…did I actually “piss her off” by telling her that she doesn’t scare me?
“Be that as it may…” she said in an icy tone.
Oh great…I really did buck up. Maybe I should try to…
“…I need you to focus, Octavia. What I’m about to do could turn out quite awful if you let yourself be distracted in any way. Try to calm down and reign in your emotions before we begin…” she said and let out a sigh.
So…I actually didn’t “piss her off”. Oh my…how awkward.
“Begin? Begin with what?” I asked.
“You will take “Obsession”, the physical manifestation of my soul, and subdue it.” Lucid replied with a wicked grin and pointed at her scythe.
“Wait…wh-what?” I stuttered and my jaw dropped.
“Ah…that’s more like it. So you do have an instinct for self-preservation after all…” she said and chuckled.
“That thing…” I nearly screamed and pointed at her weapon “…is actually your soul?” I asked in disbelief.
“Well…actually my hood and the scythe both are…”
“So what if your weapon was destroyed?”
“Then I’d die.” she said with a shrug and rolled her eyes.
“Come on Octavia…it doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out…”Lucid added as if we were just discussing the weather.
“You can’t be serious. That makes no sense at all…” I immediately retorted.
“What fun is there in…oh wait…I’ve already told you that I’m insane…right?”
“Sweet Celestia… are you trying to mess with me again?” I replied in resignation.
“Well, as much as I’d enjoy messing with your head…I’m actually telling the truth. Unfortunately I have to explain a few things beforehoof, in order for you to understand. So…you probably have heard about the tr-…elements of harmony…right?” she said and bit her lips.
“Well…Pandora’s box is basically the antithesis to…them. So while the element bearers represent the powers of harmony, vampires are supposed to be the paragons of chaos. However, unlike the spirit of of chaos and disharmony most of us…value balance.
As long as chaos and harmony are closely balanced everything works out but as soon as one of them gets the upper hoof…the world itself tries to even things out. Discord’s reign of chaos and the rule of the two sisters were both instances where the balance was severely disrupted and we both know how that turned out.
So…that brings us back to the physical manifestation of my soul. The longer we creatures of chaos live, the more chaos and power we accumulate. The strongest of us are therefore capable of creating weapons by using our very essence. However, even among the strongest of us that kind of power isn't common. Not only is it very hard to aquire…it also acts as a double edged sword.
Alicorns also show a similar increase in power when they grow older because they accumulate harmony. You can see that in their astral manes and feel it in their presences…yet I’m pretty sure they simply use their power to enhance themselves. The act of ripping out one’s soul and wielding it as a weapon just doesn’t seem very…harmonious.” she explained matter-of-factly.
“So what happens when I touch it? What exactly happens…” I said and my eyes narrowed.
“Oh good you are learning.” she said and gave me a wink. “Well…unlike many other soul-weapons mine is actually a little bit special.
Obsession is a weapon that tears enemies apart and the more I’m obsessed with something the sharper it gets. It can basically cut through steel or dragon skin if my desire to kill or dissect something is just strong enough.
However, now comes the creepy part. “Obsession” devours the souls of those it kills, imprisoning them and basically allowing me to feed on their madness and obsession in order to boost my battle potential. So if you touch it be prepared to face the wrath of…hmm let’s say…at least a few hundred angry souls…” Lucid said with an evil smirk.
“What?”
“Oh come on…you’ve already volunteered to take a peek at your own soul. So dealing with a few echoes of my victims shouldn’t be that scary…right?” Lucid replied before she broke into laughter. However, this time there was no warmth in her voice; it was cold and cruel…
“My soul…?” I gasped in shock.
“Oh my…haven’t I mentioned that your aura is basically the visible extension of your soul? Woops, that must have slipped my mind…”
Before I could even react to her sudden change in behaviour she already lifted her scythe and threw it into my direction. Without thinking I caught the weapon in mid-air…and immediately came to regret it.
Lucid wasn’t lying. The moment I touched her scythe my vision became blurry and I started to hear voices…hundreds of them. Some were angry, some were wailing but most of them were whispering. At first I couldn’t hear them but as time passed their voices became more and more distinct. Some of the whispers turned out to be promises of power, others offered me...eternal slumber...
Of course I tried to let go of the accursed thing…but it wasn’t possible anymore. As soon as I tried to break free from their influence the voices changed their approach. They were no longer whispering…they were lashing out at me…all of them.
The pain was unimaginable. It felt as If every part of my body was lit on fire and pierced with a hot iron at the same time. However the pain wasn’t even the worst. It was the fact that the pain just didn’t seem to end…
“You resist us? You cling to your life as if it actually matters? You will learn…for time has no meaning here…” a cruel voice whispered.
I just wanted it stop, I even cried out to Lucid…but only now did I realise that she was no longer here; no one was. It was just me…in the midst of darkness…
“Why do you try to fight fate? Resisting us will do you no good…” one of the voices whispered.
“Just think about what you could accomplish with our help. All who ever wronged you, every single one of them would have to bow before you…”
“Our power and wisdom knows no bounds, milady. Take us in…break our prison…and we’ll be yours to command…”
I tried to run away from the voices…I tried to shut them out…but that was easier said than done. Among hundreds and thousands of whispers some were bound to get through to me. They were slowly gnawing away on my sanity and after some time I wasn’t even sure if my thoughts were really my own. It was only when I collapsed on the cold onyx floor that I noticed the strange ornaments engraved into it; the same as on Lucid’s scythe…
At the same time a small barrier formed around me and the pain started to fade. However, I was pretty sure that it wouldn’t stop the pain for long, considering that could already see the first few cracks forming on in its surface…
“Lucid?” I thought, still shivering in pain.
“So you’re finally able to reach out to me?” her voice happily echoed through my mind before it turned icy once again “Now pull yourself together, subdue those hyenas and get my bucking weapon under your control.”
“Please…just make them stop…” I pleaded.
“I can’t. Currently your soul and those trapped inside my weapon are fighting over dominance. The only way to make them stop is to beat them into submission and claim control of…their prison. ”
“What if I fail?”
“Have you ever heard the legends surrounding one of Tartaros’ greater demons…the one called Legion? You’d probably end up like that…just...well...considerably weaker…”
Speaking of weak…the barrier didn’t look as if it would last much longer. The cracks already deepened significantly and even began to wander. Realising that I had only a few minutes at best, I decided to ask what I needed to know the most.
“So what do I have to do to get out of here…”
“You have two weapons in here that they don’t; your mind and faith. The weapon you are currently holding onto is nothing but a projection of your mind. As long as you have faith in the things you conjure…you should be able to beat your opponents with ease. Now get ready… the barrier will collapse soon…”
As soon as those words echoed through my mind the barrier broke and the invisible assaults continued. However, this time I was ready. I raised the scythe and swung it around. If Lucid was right…and I really hope she was…than I should be capable of hurting those things…
The voices suddenly changed their approach. They still came at me but they no longer tried to unnerve me by talking. Instead they seemed focused on talking to each other.
“Back down…the reaper didn’t restrict her…” an angry voice hissed.
“The reaper isn’t stupid. Of course she…”
“Then how could that mare hurt us?”
“Clearly the reaper helps her…”
“Does she? Hmm…I wonder why…”
“So…taking her on like that won’t work?”
“Maybe we don’t have to…”
“Let her do the work I say…”
“Hmm…I guess we could try…”
“Pff…I doubt it could get any worse anyways…”
“Don’t jinx it…”
“Hmm…I like the idea.”
“Yeah…at least we’d have a shot…”
“It’s unlikely that she’d succeed but...”
“We should at least try…”
“I’m game…”
“I’m against it. I mean…just look at her.”
“What do you mean?”
“She can’t even see us….she just swings her weapon blindly…”
“I told you she is useless…”
“Let’s just go all in and crush her …”
“No…we’ll go with the plan…”
All their talk was really confusing but it gave me an idea. The scythe already allowed me to hurt them…so I could try to give it additional properties. First off I need to see them…
As soon as I thought about I could see them…and my jaw nearly dropped. Hundreds of ghostly apparitions were circling around me…just like vultures. Some of them were shaped like griffins; some of them were shaped like changelings…hay I could even make out the silhouettes of two dragons…but most of them still resembled ponies.
At first their numbers scared me but then an evil smile spread across my face. I nearly forgot that my powers were only limited by my own imagination. Oh the possibilities were endless…or so I thought…
As it turned out my powers weren’t that strong after all. In an attempt to end this quickly I tried to conjure a hail of deadly arrows while holding them off with the scythe…but somehow it failed. Setting them on fire or impaling them also didn’t seem to work. Hay, I even tried to conjure a giant hoof from the sky in order to crush them…
“Well of course something like that wouldn’t work. There has to be a connection between you and the objects you are trying to conjure. You have to literally put your soul into it. So…unless you have a hidden hoof fetish there is no point in wasting your time with something like that.” Lucid’s voice echoed through my mind. However, this time it was neither cold nor amused…it was strained.
Well…so much for taking the easy way out. So I guess I just had to strike down all of them individually. What a bummer! However, before I could come up with an efficient way to do so the souls started to converse with each other again…
“The preparations are complete…”
“Excellent.”
“So…how much time you think we have?”
“…ten minutes…at most.”
“Hmm…I guess it’ll do…”
“No…it has to.”
“Well then…brothers, sisters…let’s do this…”
At that point I saw something that would probably haunt me for the rest of my days. All the ghostly apparitions began to rot in fast motion. Yes…even though they were nothing more than disembodied souls they actually managed to putrefy right in front of my eyes. For a few moments I watched in horror as all the specters turned into nothing more than a repulsive puddle of…liquid spectral flesh.
It didn’t take long and the gooey substance began to creep across the floor, gathering at one spot. The repulsive sludge started to bubble violently and before I could do as much as blink something horrible emerged from the pool. The creature might even have passed for some kind of Alicorn…at least for some species that only learnt about them from books...
Unlike real Alicorns…this vile and fiendish being had a jagged horn, the leathery wings of a dragon, and talons instead of fore hooves. The legs were covered in holes and her white spectral mane flowed graciously in the non-existing wind. Locking her gaze on me the grotesque figure then revealed two pointy fangs and began to speak in an otherworldly voice.
“Abandon all hope…for we are…death incarnate.”
As soon as those words passed her lips I could feel the blood freeze in my veins. Without a warning the black monstrosity suddenly raised one of its talons and the rest of the ooze began to gather right in front of her. It was only then that I realised how familiar that scene looked…
Of course my worst fears became reality and the creature really conjured a weapon for itself; a coal black halberd. While the scythe I was still clinging onto was without a doubt creepy… the monster’s polearm was scarier by far. However, the reason for that didn’t lie in its design; it was the fact that the weapon’s edges emitted the same spectral glow its master’s mane. The weapon actually looked as if it was a part of her…
All my instincts urged me to run but…it was already too late. The monster closed the gap in the blink of an eye and was now only inches away from my face. With a haughty smile she threw the halberd into the ground and raised her foreleg.
“Your despair…it tastes…oh so sweet…”
A swift motion later I was lying on my back. While I had still been processing her words she simply knocked me down. She didn’t even need a weapon…she just did it with her leg. Was my life really only worth that much? That hurt…
Wait…I was literally staring death in the eye and the only thing I was concerned with was my pride? Oh my…somehow the thought was quite amusing. As her eyes bore into mine I realised that she wasn't amused by my antics; she looked disgusted. Well…for all its worth...at least I managed to piss her off before I died…
“You seek refuge in madness…because you can’t cope with the horrors of reality? Pathetic…”
At that moment I was no longer thinking. I already accepted my fate and calmly anticipated my end. Unfortunately she had other plans for me. A sadistic grin spread across her face when she laid her talon around my throat and slowly began to squeezing it. Using the same talon she then lifted me up by the throat. Pulling me a little closer she whispered in an icy tone.
“Oh no…little pony…we aren’t done just yet. We are going to make you suffer…and not even losing your mind will end your torment…”
In a swift motion she raised her second talon and let it softly wander across my chest. Giving me a wicked grin she repeated the motion, however this time she actually ripped through my flesh. The pain was intense…worse than anything I had experienced so far. My vision became blurry and tears began to flow…
“Oh…it seems you’re quite enjoying my little…gift. It’s based on a special brand of venom…usually used only by changeling inquirers. Not only does it keep your wound from closing…it should also incapacitate you through sheer pain…”
I wanted to scream but my throat was no longer working. The monster then tossed me away and started to laugh. Soon I realised that it wasn’t blood that was gushing from my wound. It was a thick green gooey substance…just like…oh no…
"Lets see how long it takes until your soul bleeds dry..."
That wasn’t good…that wasn’t good at all. I had to stop the bleeding. With all my remaining willpower I focused on healing…but it was in vain. Mending wounds just wasn’t part of who I am…
I nearly succumbed to my fate but when I noticed that the grotesque figure was watching me with a devious smile…something inside of me urged me to fight on. That sick psychopath obviously enjoyed watching me struggle…but I wouldn't let her...
No…I wouldn’t give her that satisfaction. At least I had to put up a fight. Vinyl would literally kick my flank if I just decided to lie down and die. Yes…dying on my hooves…fighting…was preferable after all…
Under great pain I tried to get back on my hooves…but my wobbly knees just didn’t want to comply. Among all the pain I didn’t even notice it…but part of my body had already gone numb. No…that wasn’t fair. I didn’t want to die…not like that…not like that...
“Tell me, little pony…can you feel death closing in on you? Can you feel its icy touch?”
Words…it said some words…yet I couldn’t understand them. My vision was failing and darkness started to cloud my mind. What was it saying? Was it even important? I didn’t know…I just felt so tired. Yes…tired…and lonely…and cold…oh so col-…COLD!
My consciousness clung to that little word as if it actually meant something. Why…why was that word so important? As I tried to remember memories flooded my mind instead. Oh no...not the happy ones...no it was the kind I usually tried to suppress…
“Oh look…if it isn’t the ice princess. Don’t think we’ll treat you any different just because your mom’s famous…” a small unicorn filly said and flicked her tail into my face.
“Hey…princess…did you finally get your cutie mark for being a loser?” another filly, I believe her name was Higher Standard, said with a haughty smirk.
“Pff…Octavia isn’t anything special…that pony was spoon-fed her entire life…” a classmate told the transfer student.
“Of course she is no competition for me…that mare is only third rate anyways…” a stallion whispered to another.
“Earth pony…mud pony…who cares! Playing an instrument without magic will only get you so far…” two nobles argued after one of my performances.
“Unfortunately she had to be born an earth pony. Well…at least our other daughter wasn’t such a disappointment.” I once overheard my parents.
“Cold as ice…never nice…run away before she cries…” I heard the cruel fillies of my past singing.
ENOUGH! That was exactly why I tried to distance myself from others. Everything they said always hit home. Coping with that was just too much. I tried so much but in the end there was only one thing I could really do; on the outside I stopped caring…I grew cold...
There it was again…cold. Why did it have to be cold?
Just thinking about it hurts. I hate that word! I hate it and everything it reminds me of. Oh why does the world have to be such a cold and cruel place? Heartless parents, merciless classmates, guileful colleagues…and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. What did I ever do to deserve a life like that…a life void of warmth?
“What did you ever do…to deserve any better? Besides pitying and loathing yourself, of course. You might think that everypony is entitled to lead a happy life as long as they just follow the path of harmony…but deep inside you know that it’s nothing more than a sugar-coated lie. The sad truth is that a pony’s happiness always comes at the price of another’s. So either you mare up and fight…or you lie down and die; the choice is yours…” the more aggressive portion of my mind argued.
Unfortunately…those thoughts were volatile. They washed over me and even though everything seemed so clear in the spur of the moment…they already faded from my memory. However, just like before there was one word important enough for me to remember…FIGHT. I had to fight…
Yes…I had to fight...the cold…
As that thought flashed through my mind…I could feel the grip of the darkness weakening. My consciousness returned but so did the pain. Unable to scream I realised that my body was still paralysed by either venom, pain or that green stuff that was gushing out of my chest.
However, besides the pain and the numbness there was now some sensation flooding through my body. It was rather faint but I could feel it softly pulsating beneath my skin. When I tried to focus on it some more I noticed that it actually was a current of power flowing through me. While I could feel it all over my body there were certain spots with a higher concentration. Like a thin veil it covered my organs and tried to stop my essence from seeping through my wound…
Then suddenly a strange thought crossed my mind. This stuff...this energy had to be a part of my body…or part of my mind. Well…at least I was pretty sure that it was a part of me. So instead of trying to heal my wound this time I redirected the flow of energy. At first I thought I seriously bucked up because all across my body the pain started to increase. However, at the same time I noticed less and less of my essence leaving…
Somehow I actually managed to find a way to mend my wound. Now I just had to hope that the monster wouldn’t catch on before I finished closing it. However, for once it seemed as if luck was on my side. While my wound still hadn’t closed completely…I could already feel the pain and the numbness of my body wearing off. Even my senses started to return…
The stench of rotting flesh hung heavily in the air and began to fill my lungs. The smell was revolting but I had to keep my breathing steady. When I tried to focus less on my sense of smell I discovered a bad metallic taste in my mouth…most likely blood. It wasn’t much of a surprise considering that my throat was basically crushed by that thing.
Oh my…I should really consider myself lucky. If that had actually happened to me in any other place I most certainly would have kicked the bucket…
However, my thoughts came to an abrupt halt when I realised that I could hear something strange; the sound of a barely beating heart. It was faint and the rhythm was off…yet it was still working. Yes…my heart was still beating…I was still alive…
Then, out of the blue, the next wave of pain hit me. My nerves burned as if they were on fire…letting me experience a completely different feeling where “pain” and “no-pain” alternated quickly. Considering that the numbness was now nearly gone I figured that it probably had something to do with the venom wearing off.
Only seconds later I could feel my body touching the smooth stone floor. I was lying face down and my coat was covered in sweat. Beneath me there was a puddle of thick, warm…liquid. Even though I couldn't believe how much of that stuff had seeped through my wound I didn’t dare to look. After all, that…thing…was still close.
I tried my best to keep as still as possible but now that I got the feeling for my body back it turned out to be quite the task. I had to keep my breathing even, I had to keep my ears from twitching, I had to remain an expressionless face and worst of all I had to deal with that irritating itching of my closing wound. Even though the itching was nothing more than a side effect of the healing process it made “playing dead” a lot harder.
“Ah…looks like the bleeding will stop any second now. Soon the mare will perish and freedom will finally be ours…” I heard the monster mumbling.
Shivers ran down my spine as I heard the monster’s heartbeat accelerating in excitement. Wait…what? Why would I be able to hear…
I never finished that thought because something else demanded my attention. A cold presence was wrapping itself around my heart. Unable to stop its advances I could do nothing more than wait motionless as it slowly worked its way inside. At first I tried to fight it off by redirecting the energy stream within my body…but soon I realised something terrible; the energy and the cold presence were one and the same. So all I did...was hastening my own demise...
It only took a few moments and it finished invading my heart. However, much too my surprise I didn’t feel any worse. On the contrary; my heartbeat, even though a tad slower than before, was now rhythmic again. However the presence wasn’t done just yet; it continued spreading throughout my entire body…soothing the pain and revitalizing me.
Even though the presence itself didn't seem to be malevolent, I was suddenly overcome with the inexplicable need to drive it out of my system. I didn't know why I felt that way...but I knew that bad things would happen if I didn't. However...at the same time there was a another part of me, a sick and twisted part, that wanted to hold onto it. All the things I could do with that kind of power...
Wait...what was I even thinking? That wasn't how we ponies do things. Whatever that presence was...it already started messing with my head. No, there was no other way. I had to force it out of my body before it was too late. I simply had to...
"Oh really and why is that? Because you had a gut feeling? Because you fear things you don't understand? Oh wait...I know. Because you are trying to do the right thing. Oh...don't even try to deny it. You use it as a bucking justification for simply everything. Can't go wrong with doing the right thing, right? Wrong!
Ideals and morals are a luxury you can't afford in your situation. Right now that power is the only thing that stands between you and certain death...yet you still refuse to clutch at the last straw...because something about it feels off. Do you even know how conceited that sounds? Even if that power had been given to you by none other than Nightmare Moon herself...you should be grateful. After all it is the only reason why you are still alive..." the other part of my mind argued.
Hmm...a crossroad. What a pain in the flank spot to end up in. So what should I do? Should I stick to my principles...or should I just try to survive? Idealism or survival? Probably the hardest decision since the dawn of time...
As I pondered over my options I came to realize a few interesting things about myself. My ideals were important to me, yet I certainly wasn't ready to sacrifice myself for them. No...I was neither a hero nor a martyr. Just like any common pony I'd always put survival first. However, at the same time I would never put my life before those I care about. In the end I came to realize the sad truth. I was a terribly selfish pony. To me, the only thing that truly mattered was that my friends and I could live a happy life. Even if the rest of the world were to go to tartaros, I probably wouldn't even give a buck...
"So...how far would you go to ensure the happiness of those you care about?" I could hear the darkest part of my mind whisper.
"I'd do anything..."
“Even if you had to build their happiness on a pile of corpses?”
“Yes…”