//------------------------------// // No Doubt Fond of Shrimp Cocktails // Story: Yaerfaerda // by Imploding Colon //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash trotted into the dark-lit chambers on light hooves. She looked to her left. The pegasus saw two desks flanked by bookcases and cabinets. Several niches filled with parchment lined the wall. Scrolls lay in stacks alongside maps and volumes upon volumes of regal lawbooks. She looked to her right. She saw a table, two wardrobes, and a king-sized bed. A tiny alcove led to what she guessed was a personal bathroom. There was very little furnishing in the room. Everything was simple, plain, utilitarian. “Certainly not a weekend retreat,” she muttered to herself. Her muzzle scrunched and unscrunched. She felt the urge to sneeze. Blinking into the darkness, Rainbow Dash trotted over to the bed. She flapped her wings, hovering above the thing. Eyes thin, she brought a hoof up and lightly tapped her pendant. In the faint crimson glow, she saw layers upon layers of dust blowing across the unwrinkled duvet from her feathers. “Hasn't been slept in for ages...” Her ears twitched. She looked behind her. The desk lay open. Several sheets of paper lingered on the top. Zipping over, the green-mane'd mare loomed above the parchments. She reached a hoof out, but hesitated, not wanting to disturb anything. There was no telling just how observant the Secretary could have been. So, carefully, she glanced at the paper, then lifted just the very corner of it to see what was underneath. She saw what looked like a map of ice-capped mountains, beyond which were jagged illustrations that almost resembled glowing rocks. “Is that... skystone?” Lips pursed, Rainbow craned her neck and examined some of the books lying on the desk's edge. There she saw several titles that caught her eye: Geographical History of Northern Val Roa, A Laydeer's Guide to Provincial Regions, and The Lemuel Tundra. “There's a Coronation around the corner, Sharp Quill,” she muttered aloud. “Sorta last second for a Geography Bee, ya think?” Rainbow Dash's head scanned the lengths of the desk. On the right side, she saw something peculiar: the leaflet of a scroll that dangled off the edge of the table. She could have sworn she caught the illustration of something in the ruby light of her pendant. So, she gave the Element a tighter rub, intensifying the glow. She had to turn her head around at an awkward angle, but she finally made out what looked to be a series of sharp fangs. As the image came into greater focus, she spotted what looked like a reptilian eel, along with a measurement scale that put it at over three dozen feet long. Scribbled alongside the illustration were diagrams and calculations, all labeled with the words: “Average Temperature For Proper Enforcement.” “What... in the h-hay...?” Rainbow's muzzle twisted. The doorknob to the room turned. “... ... ...!” Rainbow Dash jolted. She clamped both hooves over her pendant. The mare darted towards the bed, but the frame was flat to the ground. “Darnit!” The door was opening. The cool desert wind funneled through the room. Without a second thought, she soared into the private bathroom, pivoting her body sideways so as to squeeze through the open door without disturbing it. There, she huddled in a large, ornate tub, shivering from the cold porcelain touch. She heard several heavy hoofsteps—much like Floydien's. An elk's. Clamping her jaw tight, Rainbow Dash tilted her head aside, craning her ears towards the doorframe. She heard... ... ... nothing. The pegasus' pulse throbbed in her neck. She was afraid to flick a single hair of her tail, for fear of disturbing the otherwise dead silence permeating the entire chambers. And yet, that silence... that stillness persisted. It was practically numbing. On a dare, Rainbow Dash cat-crawled out of the tub, squatted up to the door, and peeked out. At first, she saw nothing. All was darkness and shadow. But then—she saw an even darker shape sihlouetted against the blackness. Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow, looking out the door with greater courage. The elk stood absolutely still, legs locked, antlers poised. He appeared unaffected by the darkness. His body barely moved... even just to make breathing motions. This went on for an eerie two minutes or so. When—at last—his ears twitched, it positively startled the mare. She held her breath, listening in. “Mmmm... yes.” The buck muttered, “But of course.” He pivoted rigidly to the left, like a living gear. Rainbow jerked back, careful not to make any rapid sound or movement. Still, she continued to watch. The elk turned towards the desk. He made three steps. Stopped. Sidestepped. Then sat down before the desk. “Should I wait?” Dead silence. “No. No, I haven't.” Even more silence. “Alright. If you insist.” And he continued sitting there, engulfed in darkness, eyes locked on the pitch-black wall above the desk. Rainbow's muzzle hung open. She looked at the far end of the quarters. There was nopony in there save for herself and the elk. Craning her neck, she attempted to see if there was something on him that was glowing... strobing... flickering—any indication whatsoever of a sound stone or a different kind of magically—imbued communications device. Alas, she couldn't find anything, no matter how far she leaned to— Fwump! Rainbow slipped on the tile and fell on her chest. “Ooof!” Cl-Clump! His massive hooves shifted against the marble floor. “Who goes there?!” Rainbow clenched her teeth shut. Her eyes darted towards the desert sky beyond the balcony's edge. “... ... ...yes. Yes I shall.” He stood up. He marched over towards the room. Rainbow waited one second too many. He was practically there. The tips of his antlers strobed. She backed up, hissing beneath her breath, looking at the bathtub, the sink, the closet. Everything was too thin, too shallow, too open to hide. At last, the Secretary's massive hoof wrapped around the edge of the door and started pulllllling it open— Knock knock knock. The elk stopped in place, as did Rainbow's heart. Knock knock knock. “This must be it.” The hoof retreated, as did his voice. “What you told me to wait for.” Rainbow hissed through clenched teeth. As the bloodrush in her head settled, she heard the creak of the door opening inside the chamber. There was a slight sliver of lanternlight, and she heard a servant's voice clearing. She leaned in to get a better listen. “...job to deliver this to you. It comes directly from the office of Chancellor Fishberry of the Val Roan High Council.” “Very well, sir. Thank you for delivering this to me.” “Is there anything I can do for you, my lord?” “No. That will be all. Thank you.” The door closed shut. At first, Rainbow flinched, expecting the Secretary to come marching back towards her and the bathroom. Instead, he just lingered there, gripping an envelope. His antlers glowed brighter. Within seconds, he had shredded the letter open, unfolding the scrap within and scanning its contents with purple eyes. Rainbow got the first clear sight of his muzzle, and it was the utter definition of emotionless. Just seconds ago, Sharp Quill's voice was rich in emotion, even when speaking to an ordinary messenger. It was next to impossible to guage just what the elk was gaining from what he was reading. Thankfully, Rainbow didn't have to wait until his unusual habits resumed. “Yes.” His ears twitched. “Absolutely.” His ears twitched again. “This cannot be a coincidence. They are false. Someone has found out.” More silence. He continued standing dead-still, like a statue. He lingered for far longer than a grown elk needed to for reading such a small letter. “And what of the Tundra?” Silence. “Yes. Of course. I'll speak with them. They will know what you want.” Rainbow Dash bit her lip. She needed to see what was written on that letter. Glancing left and right, she saw several bars of soap lying on the bathtub's edge. The mare took a deep breath, for she already knew what she was about to do. It was delightfully stupid. Sharp Quill continued rambling: “There's already a meeting being planned. It must not interfere.” Rainbow Dash grabbed a bar of soap and winded up for a heavy pitch. “Yes. Of course. You know about that too—” “Nnngh!” Rainbow Dash tossed the bar as heavily as she could towards the balcony's edge. The Secretary spun, antlers glowing brightly in the direction of the balcony. “Who goes there?!” he growled, suddenly emoting. His nostrils flared, but he remained in place. Once more, his purple eyes fell upon the parchment. Once more, he droned in a neutral tone: “Too frayed. Starting to lose concentration.” Rainbow swiftly grabbed two bars this time and threw them both at once. They landed on separate parts of the balcony, sending a resounding echo across the adjacent room. “I know you're there!” Sharp Quill hollered again, dragging his hoof across the floor as he snorted. “Show yourself!” Silence. In an angry fit, he marched over to the desk, slapped the note down, and thundered over towards the balcony's edge. “Whoever you are, this is trespassing! Don't make me summon the Soul Sentries—!” Rainbow Dash wasn't listening at this point. Instead—light as a feather—she was soaring out of the bathroom and darting towards the table. She cupped her hooves around her pendant, creating just enough light to scan the letter. It was upside down. Cussing inwardly, she pivoted around, head dangling, and read as many words off the page as she could with darting, ruby eyes. All she made out were: “Nilla informed... ... ... false Xonans... ... ... made it across the Wastes... ... ... meet at Shepherd's Rock... Tomorrow at first shine...” Rainbow held her breath. That was enough. She turned around— Sharp Quill was marching back. He came up to the desk, pausing. “... ... ...” He looked left, he looked right. “No. Not an intruder. A draft? Things are fading. Perhaps you will strengthen us at first shine tomorrow.” Rainbow Dash held her breath. She hugged the ceiling directly above him, legs locked. Her tail dangled, and it took all her strength to keep it from brushing against his branching antlers. Slowly—like a blue lady bug—she scurried across the top of the room. Only when she was a safe distance away did she kick off, twirl about, and soar clear off the balcony. Sharp Quill's ears twitched. He turned around, gazing at nothing but starlight. His muzzle scrunched, and he slowly peered back into the darkness. “Yes. Of course.” He nodded. “Of course I shall feed them...”