//------------------------------// // "Because I'm an asshole!" // Story: SSAdventures: Spirit Awakening // by Spirit Shift //------------------------------// Despite my instincts, I trotted up to the mare standing in front of the group. “Miss, you seem to be barricading the drink table,” I said, as politely as I could. “Nu-uh! Don’t you be talkin to me like that. I saw how you blew off my beau.” I raised my eyebrow at the way she spoke. With a quick “Nope” from me and a quick jab to her neck, she was down like a sack of bricks. The other mares simply blinked in confusion. I guess they either didn't see me move or didn't understand what I did. I don’t blame them though, I needed to be quick so that she wouldn't scream. I supposed that they all must've thought that she fainted because they all quickly began fawning over her. I took this opportunity to move past them. Finally at the drink table, I looked over the club’s selection. They had the basic setup; spiked punch, spiked vodka, bottles of Brew Daniels, pot brownies, and the like. I found the orange soda from earlier and took a sniff. I smirked, admiring the fact that somepony in this place had enough respect of the natural taste of soda not to lace it with alcohol. I took a sip and sighed. It was worth the wait. “Now I just have to follow the sound of rejection,” I muttered. Drink in hoof, I trotted back to the entrance of the place and looked around to find Blaze. My first guess was the bar, so I headed there first.  Upon arrival, I found the the entire section covered in a magical bubble. Apparently, it was just like Vinyl’s in that it muffled or lowered the sound. Over near the edge I saw Blaze hitting on some mare with a short blue mane. She looked uncomfortable so I figured that I still had some time left. I sat on a stool and called the bar keep over. "Hey, man, you do refills?" I asked him. A gruff looking unicorn turned to look at me, "That depends, you pay for that one?" "Yes," I lied. "Whatcha need refilled? We have a five drink maximum here." "Orange Soda." I looked down and noticed the distinct lack of beverage. I didn't realize that I had already emptied my cup. He scoffed, "I thought we put that out as a joke. What kinda lightweight are you?" I was about to reply with a snarky comment when the mare sitting next to me huffed in annoyance, "Brew Hard don't be rude. Just refill his drink already." Blow Hard let out a low growl before taking my cup and leaving. I turned to the mare next to me and questioned her confused look. "But Seriously, you come to a club to drink orange juice?" she continued. I scoffed in mock offence, "Orange Soda, thank you very much. I don't care for alcohol." She raised an eyebrow, "How about cider." "Not fond of apples," I replied. What?! While ignoring the orange horse's question, I continued my story. The mare continued to give me a strange look. "Then why are you here? Don't tell me it's the music." I smirked, "Nah. Has a tall stallion with a black mane tried to pick you up yet." She gave me a large frown that I took as a yes. “Did he say something stupid?” “I told him that I was with somepony and he said, and I quote, ‘challenge accepted’.” "Did you slap him?" "Yes." "That's why I'm here. To see my friend fail and get the hell beat out of him." She looked at me for a second before letting out a small chuckle. What's his face finally got back with my drink so I took a sip. I took another glance back at pedo-- er I mean Blaze. A fight wasn't breaking out yet so I guessed that it wasn't time yet. For lack of better things to do I turned back to the mare next to me, "So why're you here," I asked. She sighed, "My marefriend wanted me to come." "Well, aren't you loyal." "To a fault. Mainly, I'm here to make sure she gets home safely." "Yup, makes sense. Vinyl never could find her own way home half the time. I can only imagine what it's like when she's drunk." "I know right! The least she could do is drink after she.... Hold on. How did you know I was talking about Vinyl?" "Cuz you're the reason she's not dead." "I don't follow. Do you know her?" "Has she ever talked about a pony named Spirit before?" "Yes, are you--" "No." "Then who are you." I could tell she was getting agitated. "I'm the reason she had to go on early." "That was you on the microphone?" I swiveled the liquid in my cup and thought of something fun. "I'm the shadow in the moon at night, I'm the one filling your dreams with fright. The seeker of darkness and caster of spells. My name is Shift, and I’m the denizen of hell." She gave me an unimpressed look. "You're messing with me, aren't you?" "Well, Vinyl did tease me on how fun it was." I stopped swiveling when something caught my eye. I was watching Blaze near the corner of the bar chatting up some pony. Whatever he was saying, it was working because the mare was blushing and giggling like crazy. Out of the corner of my eye a stallion came out of the bathroom and immediately sent a death glare Blaze's way. A wide smile spread across my face, “Shut up. It’s happening.” “What is… oh my,” she followed my gaze and watched the large stallion march his way across the club. “That’s one of the owners of the club, Mile High!” My smile got wider and I hopped out of my seat. “I’m getting a closer look. You coming?” She looked nervous for a little bit then got up after me. “I suppose. If things get hectic I could probably convince him not to call the guards.” I grabbed my drink and started trotting over to the scene. “Personally, I hope the cops show up. I’m going for the record.” She quickly caught up to me, “What record?” “I want Blaze to get thrown in just about every jail in Equestria.” I took a sip of my drink and asked, ”That’s gotta be a record right?” The mare sighed and shook her head. “You’re heartless, you know that? I’ve known you for all of 5 minutes and I know that much.” ~~~ I got close enough to hear Blaze finish his joke and laugh alongside the mare he was with. “...so, then I held up a hoof in front of him and said ‘Sir? Please. Humption? Yes. Madame? Scoff. Blazinger? Of Course. Justsui? Perhaps. Now, by this point you have no idea what I’m talking about right?’ He dumbly nodded, so I took that chance to slam my guitar upside his head and run like mad. Poor zebra never knew what hit him.” I rolled my eyes and held out my hoof for the mare next to me to stop. I thought for a second that I should learn the mare’s name. I never did, so I must have dropped the thought. “Why did we stop, I can’t hear them from here,” she said. “Really? I can. Oh well. Look, here he comes,” I said taking a small sip. Didn’t wanna run out too early. The mare he was talking to had a blond mane and cream colored coat. I was about to check out her cutie mark when I noticed the stallion trot up behind Blaze. “It’s happening!” I squealed gleefully. I didn't need to turn around to know the mare next to me was looking at me oddly. “Why does seeing your friend get beat up excite you?” she finally asked. “Why won’t you help him?” I ignored her and watched the scene unfold in front of me like I was watching a movie. “Oh my, Celestia,” the mare giggled, “how are you still alive?” Blaze shrugged, “I’m good at running. I usually let Spirit and Force do most of the fighting.” I chuckled, “Bro you ain't runnin from this one.” The stallion was right behind him now, and practically fuming. Everypony around Blaze quickly went silent while some started backing away. I watched him turn around and pale as he realized what was happening. “Well, it was fun while it lasted,” he muttered, reaching for his guitar. The mare trotted up next to Blaze and held her hoof up, “Mile, this isn’t what it looks--” “It looks like this spiky maned dwarf is talking to my mare.” “So what?  He’s charming, he’s funny, and he likes to travel. I enjoy listening to his stories.” Mile High ignored her and stuck his face in Blaze’s, “You fillin my mare’s head with nonsense? There ain't no way you’re a traveler, you’re too scrawny.” One of his groupies cheered him on, “You tell him, Mile!” “Come on, Mile, you should hear some of the stories he’s told me.” Mile regarded his marefriend’s words carefully, “I was going to have him beat up and thrown out... but I suppose if he can tell me something interesting he can stay.” My smile dropped like a sack of bricks. Blaze let out a relieved sigh and put his hoof down. “Well then, would you like to hear the same thing I told Golden here, or something new?” he asked. “Lets see if you can tell us something different.” “Fine, let me tell you about the time I-- I stopped listening and looked at the drink in my hoof. It was half way gone. Halfway gone and a fight still hadn't broken out yet. These was unacceptable circumstances. “Looks like nothings wrong. That’s a relief I suppose. Back to the bar then?” “Hold on, I have one more idea.” The mare sighed and turned back around, “I know I asked already, but why?” “Simple.” I turned to her and gave my widest smirk, “Because I’m an asshole!” I immediately lobbed my cup toward where Blaze and his entourage was. Lady Luck must have been drunk at this club somewhere, because my cup slammed right into Blazes forehead. Like dead on. He fell backwards and the neck of his guitar slammed against the blond mare. She fell backward with a bloody nose, and the stallion, Mile High, flipped the hell out. A fight broke out when he jumped Blaze and started punching him. The music cut and everypony turned their attention towards the fight. Blaze threw him off easily and began fighting off bodyguards. Eventually, the entire club broke out in individual and group fights. “There! Are you happy now?! Can we go help him?” I finally began to stop laughing and tried to roll over on my stomach. “H-hold on a sec. Here comes Vinyl.” “What?!” Both of us looked over to Vinyl who had just stopped laughing. I guess her conscious kicked in, and she thought it was a good enough time to break it up. She ran backstage, presumably to get whomever else was in charge. I looked back over to Blaze. He had already knocked out several people but was in still in the middle of fighting several others. One tried to jump him from behind but he swiftly dodged and slammed his guitar on that dude's head. Vinyl returned with this huge stallion that I assumed was either a royal guard or the other owner. He took a deep breath, lit his horn and screamed at the top of his lungs. “EVERYPONY SHUT THE HELL UP!” Just like that everypony stopped fighting and turned to him. The mare next to me writhed on the ground as if her eardrums exploded. “What the hay is wrong with all of you? Who started this?” Several ponies looked around in confusion until Mile High stood back up and pointed to Blaze. “This asshole hit my mare!” “Now hold on a se-” SLAM! Blaze fell like a sack of bricks when some random pony regained consciousness and slammed a stool over his head. There was nothing but silence until I fell out laughing. The fight restarted and nothing that stallion at the stage said could stop it. He gave a few orders to some ponies that weren't fighting and they ran off. After that, he too jumped into the fray. Vinyl hopped down and ran over to the pony who did the deed. He was cheering until Vinyl grabbed him and screamed in his face, “What the hay, you bastard? Was that really necessary!?” The mare next to me attempted to trudge through the chaos and get to the heart of the issue. I, on the otherhoof, finally calmed down enough to stand. “Welp, Blaze is out. I guess it’s time to go.” I hopped onto the bar table and high into the air. Using my wings, I flew over the crowd to where Blaze was. By the time I found him he was barely conscious. “Sup, bu~ddy! Told you this would happen. I come outside for the first time in 3 months and you get yourself knocked the hell out. Pathetic… nice place though. So, be honest with me. Did ya have fun?” He gave me a small smirk before passing out completely. I laughed and tossed him on my back. The mare from before finally broke out of the crowd and met us. She was out of breath and looking frantic. “Shift? Where’s Vinyl?” I looked around and pointed her over to the white mare currently beating down the poor stool throwing bastard from before. “Vinyl Scratch get over here right now!” she yelled. I watched Vinyl freeze mid punch and the sound of a record scratching played through my head. She numbly trotted over to us with her head low. “Yes, Tavi?” “We are going home. Right now, before the cops show up.” Vinyl nodded, and we all left the club. After we left through the doors she turned to me and waved, “See ya, Shift.” “Later, Scratch.” It was late at night by this point so I just rented us a hotel with the group's money till it looked like Blaze was gonna wake up. ~~~ Shift finished his story and smirked at the sight of 5 mares shocked expressions. Applejack put a hoof to her head and sighed exasperatedly. “I just…. I don’t even…. Why?” Rarity started next, “I hate to sound like a broken record… but why did you go through so much trouble just to start a fight?” “And why the hell did you throw your cup at me!?” Notes nearly yelled. “Everything was fine until you did that!” “See, the answer to both of your questions is simple. Because it was fun. Anyway, looks like Force is done.” Everypony looked over to the small colt for the first time. He had his head planted muzzle-down on the table and snored softly. The half empty jar of candy sitting next to him. Next to that sat a propped up note that said: “Boring and predictable.” Fluttershy cooed and patted his mane, “He’s mane is really unique,” she muttered, examining the silver gray streaks that ran through Bionic Force’s green mane. Shift hopped from his seat and stretched a bit, “Yeah, he’s something alright. What time is it?” Twilight looked over at the clock, and winced when she saw that it was nearly 4 in the morning. She quickly made her way to the door, “I should get home before Spike starts worrying.” Turning back to Shift and Blazing Notes, she started to say something, stopped, looked for the right words, then started again, “Good story, I guess. Next time could you tell one that’s a little less… violent?” Notes shrugged, “Of course, it was only violent because this one showed up.” Twilight left out the door and Rarity left right after. Pinkie hopped out of her seat as well, “I loved it! It was all action-y and fun! I’m just glad that the yelling didn't wake up the Cakes.” “Ah could do without all of that. Thank ya kindly. Ah should head home too. Nice meetin’ ya both. Shift… I’d appreciate it if’n ya don’t come around the farm on yer next visit. No offence.” Shift smirked, “I’d take all of the offence... but I just don’t care enough.” Applejack chuckled, hoof bumped Shift, and trotted out the door. Fluttershy meekly nodded and left as well. “So, since we got nowhere to go at the moment I’m just gonna fall asleep here.” Just like that, Shift fell asleep in the same position as Bionic.” Notes face-hooved and turned to Pinkie. “I really am sorry about those two.” “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just clean the table in the morning. Oh! That reminds me! I have to work tomorrow. Gottagogoodnightbye!” With that she zoomed up the stairs, leaving three colts asleep at a random table.