Pessimism and Sarcasm
Chapter 15
Shape Shifting and its Source
This morning isn't like most mornings.
I wake up feeling odd. My limbs are stiff and I have trouble getting out of bed. Then I see one of my hands. Two fingers and a thumb and metallic looking plates on each of them. I take a single step forward and everything goes topsy turvy. My legs are bending the wrong way! I stumble to the bathroom as quickly as my new body allows, turn on the lights, and look in the mirror. My jaw drops - or rather my jaw and a couple of mandibles.
I'm a Turian. How am I a Turian? Wait a minute, male Turians have a crest. Not only am I a Turian...I’m a female.
I try to call Twilight, but my voice catches me off guard. I sound like a woman speaking into an electronic synthesizer.
"Oh, this isn't happening, This can’t be happening. This is impossible! TWILIGHT!" I hear her hooves as she rushes to the bathroom. I watch through the mirror and see her purple horn enter through the open doorway. Before she’s completely in the bathroom, she freezes, staring at me. "Either you've been performing some kind of experiment on me or something is-"
Suddenly I double over in pain, and feel a tingling sensation all through my body. When the pain subsides, I begin to feel more like myself, and I stand straight. Why does everything look so much taller? I look into the mirror again.
I'm human and male, but now I’m eleven year old Daniel Radcliffe! Well this is definitely weird. I'll have to get used to being this short again, but hey, I'm British!
Twilight gapes at me with wide eyes. “I'll go set up my equipment in the lab. Meet me in the basement in about an hour.” With that, she slowly backs out of the bathroom, then turns and bursts toward the basement. “Try not to panic!"
"Too late!" I cry back.
About an hour later, I walk into the basement. Since I last saw Twilight, I’ve changed from a Yuan Ti from D&D to Malcolm Reed complete with phase pistol, and I’m currently in the form of a young Twi'lek boy, probably no older than seven or eight years old. Each shift seems to bring more pain along with it.
Fortunately, today is one of my days off. Even more fortunately, Shade has already left for school. I can’t imagine how much she’d tease me if she knew what I’m going through.
"Twilight, are you sure these machines will help you figure out what's going on? I'm just saying, they didn't seem to do anything before."
"Don't worry, we'll figure this out," Twilight says, while glancing to the side and giving a little chuckle.
"Yeah, okay," I respond, slowly.
She places a helmet on my head and has me stand still. She starts running the test, and it isn't too long before the paper starts coming out with zigzagging lines drawn onto it.
She looks at the paper and mutters to herself. Then, that pain courses through me again. When I opened my eyes, I look down at myself and determine that I’ve transformed into an Argonian from The Elder Scrolls.
The paper keeps printing, but Twilight’s muttering quickly becomes anxious. She looks up at me, more deterred, it seems, by her findings than my new form.
"Slight problem!” she squeaks. “When you shifted, there was no change detected by the machine. No magic seemed to be produced." She leaves me with this useless information and wanders off, resuming her muttering at an increased speed.
I sigh and close my eyes. Then, once my vision disappears, so do all my other senses. They just seem to shut off! However, before I can call Twilight back, they restart - though now I have no control over them, or my body at all! My hands remove the helmet from my head. I feel the pain again, and I watch as my body disappears into smoke, which floats up and out of the basement window. Once outside, I shift again and then rush into the Everfree Forest.
All the while, I hear Twilight calling out to me, but there’s nothing I can do.
-----
Twilight bursts through the front door, in time to see the grey fog transform back into the strange lizard-like creature. Out of breath, she quickly teleports in front of the creature, but it simply steps over her. "JACOB! COME BACK!"
The creature ignores her, though. It continues tearing down the road, with Twilight gasping after it, until it dives into the Everfree Forest.
“Oh no, this is bad. This is really, really bad!" Twilight whimpers as she skids to a stop in front of the forest. "I better go get the others!"
-----
"Jake is a what now?" Rainbow Dash asks Twilight as they fly above the winding trails of the Everfree, following the changing foot prints of what was once Jacob.
"Somehow, he's become a shapeshifter. I don't think he can control it, and now he can't control his actions either!" Twilight replied, her voice wavering.
"So ya mean that we're lookin' for Jacob, but we don’t know what he looks like?" Applejack shouts as she leaps over a large boulder and resumes her gallop.
"Yes, that means we must be extra careful," Twilight replies again. "He could be anything, anyone, and anywhere."
"Oh dear, I hope he's not hurt." Fluttershy cries.
"He's probably alright, darling. I think we're the ones in trouble in this-” Rarity grunts unattractively as she trips over a branch. “Hmph! This drab forest!" She runs her hoof through her mane and rushes on.
"Uh, guys. I think I found him." Rainbow Dash calls out to the rest while pointing a hoof toward a golden badger the size of a full grown pony. As the ponies approach, they realize that the creature has eight legs, each decorated with thick, sharp claws.
"Oh my, that creature's coat is so shiny! Oh, I can already imagine a new fashion line! I MUST HAVE IT!" Rarity squeals at seeing Jacob’s sparkling fur. She charges at the creature, horn glowing.
"Rarity wait!" Twilight shouts, but it’s too late, and the creature turns and lets out a snarl, ears back and teeth bared.
Rarity screams as she stops and begins to backpedal. She giggles with wide open eyes and stutters, "Good Jake, nice Jake. We're friends remember? You don't want to hurt a friend right?" The creature continues to advance, seemingly not hearing her words. "Uh, Fluttershy? A little help please!"
Fluttershy flies toward Rarity, slowly, so as not to threaten the massive badger. "Don't worry Jake, we're here to help you," she says in her small voice, trying to comfort him.
She’s unsuccessful though, and with a hiss, Jacob takes a swipe at Rarity. She jumps back, but just a split second too late. Gasping in pain, two red lines appear in the white fur on her side, and a third, thicker one begins gushing blood. The girls all look at her, terrified, and Rainbow Dash swoops down and carries her back. Everypony watches as Fluttershy stands her ground.
"Hey! There was no need for that!" she yells out, focusing her gaze right into the creatures eyes. Suddenly, her eyes turn sharp as she attempts "The Stare".
For a moment, it seems to work. The creature stops, its eyes twitching. It looks at Fluttershy, almost at peace, and the ponies let out a sigh of relief. Then, it shakes its head and bares its fangs once more as it takes another step forward. Fluttershy squeaks and stumbles over her tail as she turns and scurries back to the group.
Finally, Dash and Applejack step forward, striking combative poses. Dash flies around the creature’s head, distracting it while Applejack readies her lasso. Just as she’s about to throw it, though, a great howl comes from behind some nearby foliage, and all seven turn their heads toward it.
"Oh no!” Twilight cries, well aware of what’s coming. “Jake, please come with us. We need to get out of here!" But the creature still seems not even able to recognize its own name.
As the ponies stand trembling, a timberwolf reveals itself from the bushes, its long, sharp claws glistening in the sparse sunlight. With a snarl, it approaches the badger. Just as it closes in, raising its paw to attack, Jacob’s fur begins to melt away. The skin underneath glows bright as his form changes. The timberwolf freezes, watching the transformation with wide eyes.
Jacob grows tall, passing the lower branches of the trees, causing them to snap and fall to the ground, around the awestruck ponies. What was once a short, tufted tail changes into a slender and winding one, with a sharp hook on its tip. From his back burst two massive wings, each with a similar hook at their ends. The badger became a dragon, and its effulgent skin dims to reveal sleek, silvery scales. Jacob bends his neck down below the trees to glare at the timberwolf with brilliantly blue eyes.
Now the tables have turned, and the timberwolf slowly retreats, snarling a warning. The dragon, not threatened in the least, roars at it then inhales deeply and opens its maw wide. The timberwolf turns and hurries to the bushes, fearing fire breath.
However, from deep within the dragon’s throat comes a burst of sparkling white light that disintegrates everything in its path: grass, trees, the ground itself, and finally the retreating timberwolf.
The dragon turns to the ponies, who still stand shivering, stuck in place by fear. It widens its jaws again, and the ponies prepare themselves for the end. Instead of light breath, however, out of its mouth comes a great yawn, which seems to shake the entire forest. The dragon collapses onto the ground, shifting once again. When the transformation is complete, the ponies are relieved to finally find a normal, but unconscious, Jacob.
"Quick, we need to get him back to the library!" Twilight exclaims, dashing forward with her magic at the ready.
-----
I pace back and forth in a large hole in the ground - lost in the middle of the vast Everfree Forest. Worse still, I’m the size of a mouse. As if this place wasn’t big enough. The absolute worst, though, is that I've spent the past few hours running from this strange creature. It's fur is dark grey and dotted with leopard spots except along its belly and chest, where the fur is snow white. It has a wolf’s, but the jaws are slightly broader - all the better to eat me with. Its body is sleek like a fox’s and its legs are thick and muscular, ending in large paws with retractable claws. As it bounded after me, its long fox tail swished back and forth behind it, excited for a new kill, I’m sure.
For now, though, the chase is over. I peek through the hole once more to see the creature staring angrily at me - too big to fit even a paw in. Then, suddenly, the creature throws back its head and cries, "Out my head!"
"What do you mean your head? You're in my head! You get out!"
"No, you...you're in my head! You... you get out!" Its broken English is improving quickly.
"What are you talking about?!" Arguing with something that can gulp me down like a multivitamin - I wonder how this is going to go.
"You take my body and claim it yours! Use it to change into different shapes!" It ceases talking and instead growls maliciously.
"Calm down; I don't even know what you are!"
"Lies! How you not know? You make me hold shapes not natural! Odd things you focus on, to make sure healing slowed! Then bring here, to strange place! Full of weakness, slow prey that you don't even hunt!"
"Hold on, hold on! How did you get here?"
"How should I know, you bring me here!"
My head is starting to hurt. I pace some more in the safety of my hole, then look back out. "What do you remember happening to you before you got here!"
"You know what happened!"
"Just tell me!"
"Alright cruel one,” the creature growls, bowing its head and closing its eyes tight. “I'll show you!"
The air in front of the creature begins to ripple, then a vertical puddle forms, within which shines an image. I squint to see clearly. It’s the creature’s view as it chases some prey of sorts. It runs into an open plain, then suddenly I feel a burning pain in my side. I hiss at the familiar agony, and keep focused on the memory. In the puddle, the creature looks down at its own side. Colorful lightning is jolting along its coat, the same rainbow lightning that brought me to Equestria. I hear a trembling roar, and the creature’s body begins to disintegrate.
Then the image changes. A brilliant flash of light slowly clears to reveal a sparkling room, some kind of laboratory. Test tubes full of technicolor liquids stand on desks next to complicated machinery. In the center of the room, I gasp when I recognize myself, suspended in a large jar. I’m looking around the laboratory in a panic, and then a burst of light surrounds my body, and in my hole I can feel total agony as my own blood sears my veins.
Suddenly, my view changes and I can see the creature, floating in a similar jar. It holds a paw to the glass as it looks around with wide eyes. It clutches its jaws, then releases a cry that shakes the whole image.
The next thing I see is Twilight's lab, and then the transformations seem to start. I see the ponies under the glittering claws of an aurumvorax, and even the glowing breath of a blue-eyes white dragon.
The puddle disappears, and I stand paralyzed by the pain and shock. The Shape Shifter stares at me. “You not steal my body. We are the same.”
I look back at it, and try my best to nod.
A quiet snarl escapes through its fangs. "I am sorry about your friends. Almost ate them."
"If you let me take control again, I can attempt to explain things."
The creature claws at the dirt and closes its eyes. "I'll have to. Used up all my energy in my attempt to escape. I need to rest now.” Its body suddenly begins to glow, and at the same time I feel incredible warmth as my vision begins to fade. “Good luck."
-----
I’m back in Twilight’s library and now I'm embarrassed. The Mane Six and the Princesses can’t take their eyes off me. Oh boy, this is going to be a doozy to explain.
"Are you okay? What happened?" Fluttershy warbles.
I open my mouth to respond, but then Pinkie Pie leaps onto Fluttershy’s back and rests her hooves in her mane. "You started shape-shifting uncontrollably, and you had no idea why, but then you found yourself in a weird place which was actually the inside of your mind, but it wasn't your mind, because it turns out you and a shape-shifting wolf-fox-leopard thing have been fused together by some alien scientists and now you and the Shape Shifter are friends, and I've got to get another Welcome to Ponyville party together for it, but first the Princesses and Twilight are going to have to find a way to unfuse you two?"
She squeaks a smile while everypony else’s jaws drop.
"Uhm, what she said?" Well, that was easy.
-----
Meanwhile, in a science station in geosynchronous orbit over Equestria, a hologram appears. It is the form of a humanoid alien, covered in jet black bony plates in some areas and scales where it needs more flexibility. It has thin jaws that can open wide to reveal sharp teeth, and a short crest extends from the back of its head, under which hangs small tendrils. In one of its clawed hands it holds a datapad which seems to be holding its attention - the other is tucked into one of the pockets on its uniform, fidgeting with an antique coin. "This had better be important, Assilryn,” it growls. “You just interrupted one of my higher priority projects."
"Sir, I have news about the fused specimens,” a similar alien responds from within the laboratory.
"What, has he accidentally adopted another one of those pathetic primitives?"
"No sir, the Shape Shifter's mind woke up. They've interacted and accepted each other's presence-” The hologram looks up, and the other alien grits its teeth. “Not only that but his mind allowed the Shape Shifter to attain sapience."
The holographic alien leans forward, intrigue starting to peak. "Interesting. She didn't devour him. That definitely went against my expectations." He returns to his datapad. "I shall have to obtain more of each specimen then. Send over the psyche profile of the originals, I'll need another control for this experiment, considering he is already in use for the current one."
"Yes, sir. Sending now."
"Is the Human female ready to be released on the planet?"
"Yes, sir. The DNA we infused her with is taking, and the probes have found a perfect location for her to arrive. The location will allow for maximum exposure to her after the resequencing."
"Excellent, you may proceed when ready." He cuts the transmission and takes the coin out of his pocket, flipping it in the air. “I wonder how accepting those primitives will matter when the human becomes a creature far larger than even the largest creatures on their planet, and with capabilities that are far above them as well. Those humans can certainly come up with interesting creatures, even if nuclear radiation wouldn't ever actually do that to a marine iguana egg.” The coin slips from his claws and falls to the floor. The alien looks at it disappointedly. “Or at least it shouldn't, but the DNA I received from the creature and its dead and alive offspring certainly proved too interesting not to be experimented with.” He stretches down and recovers the coin.
Sticking it back into his pocket, he turns around. "Well, crew, what are you waiting for? Activate the Dimension-Shift; I've experiments to check!"
Meanwhile, Assilryn starts the process, preparing the young human female. "Good thing their governments tend to look away when its the abduction of the more unimportant members of society." She looks at the newly adolescent human, floating in a small stasis capsule.
"I'm sorry young one, but if I don't do this job I'll probably become an experiment myself. All I can do is hope that you'll adapt to your upcoming form quickly, that the process will go as painlessly as possible for you, and that you'll at least find one of them willing to accept you." She strokes the jar with one of her clawed hands.
"Please forgive me."