//------------------------------// // Chapter 30: Calling in the Cavalry // Story: At the Inn of the Prancing Pony // by McPoodle //------------------------------// At the Inn of the Prancing Pony Chapter 30: Calling in the Cavalry Around the same time that the adventurers and the breezies were uniting to save the baby rocs, off in the distant hamlet of Redfern, Loam Planter was harvesting his crop of carrots, when he was interrupted by an insistent knocking on the front door of his cottage. “Come around the cottage—I’m back here!” he cried out, shaking off the garden tools that were strapped to his hooves. “Hello,” he said as a thin earth pony walked into view. “I’d welcome you to the village, but you must have gone through it to get here.” “Yes,” the visitor replied. “I was directed specifically to come here. Are you Loam Planter?” “Yeees,” Loam said cautiously, edging around to see that the visitor’s cutie mark was some kind of chocolate tart. “Excellent!” the earth pony exclaimed stepping forward to shake hooves with the farmer. “I am Muddy Pie.” “You’re uh...not mad I got you all dirty just now?” “What? No, of course not! I got this cutie mark because of how much I love working with the earth!” Loam’s negative reaction on seeing the cutie mark was pretty much cancelled out by now. He almost considered inviting the visitor inside. Almost. After the last three times that adventurers had burned his cottage down, he had become very cautious. He hadn’t even invited Hope Springs inside. “Well, if you were sent here by the others in Redfern, then I am at your service. What can I possibly do for you?” “I need to find out everything you know about Hope Springs.” Well, that was an odd coincidence. “Hope Springs,” Loam said. He then walked past the visitor to an old mat located next to the back of the house. “Oh, I hope you don’t mind if I sit down—carrot-pulling is agony for my back, and I’m not as young as I used to be. I’m afraid I don’t have anyplace for you to sit.” “Oh, I don’t mind standing,” Muddy Pie said as he turned to continue to face Loam Planter. “So...Hope Springs?” “Right,” Loam said, settling himself on the mat. “Hope Springs. Why do you need to know about her? Is she in trouble?” He did not say out loud the more-likely question given how she left the town: Have they found her body yet? “Oh no, nothing like that,” Muddy said smoothly. “Quite the opposite in fact. You see, she was fleeing from her brother, the Tyrant of Maneport. I’m here to tell her that the Tyrant has died, and she’s free to return home to her inheritance!” As he was telling this tale, Muddy carefully watched Loam‘s reaction, to judge which parts of Hope’s life story the farmer already knew, just in case he decided to plead ignorance. “That’s not what she told me,” Loam replied. “She said she was a poor would-be adventurer from Oriano. But her story didn’t really add up—she knew next to nothing about her famous forebears, despite the plenteous brochures about them that practically rain from the skies. And her attitude was that of a noble. One of the nice nobles, but still a noble.” “Ah,” said Muddy with a knowing smile, “I’m glad to see that I’ve met a pony with such a keen eye. As a matter of fact, I was already in Oriano”—by order of Prince Blueblood, following up on a pony who was mysteriously absent from any of Duke Sparkle’s reports—“and nopony there had even heard of her!” “Huh,” said Loam, leaning back. “So what is her real name?” Muddy Pie did a double take. “Her what?” “Her real name. If as you say she was on the run from her evil brother, surely she wouldn’t have given me her real name.” “Ah, right!” Muddy exclaimed. “Her real name. Her real name, it was...Spring Hope. Yes, her real name was Spring Hope.” “Really,” Loam said flatly. “All she did was reverse her name, and she expected ponies would fail to remember her if this tyrant’s ponies came around later looking for a ‘Spring Hope’.” Muddy started to shift uncomfortably in place. “Well, she never was that good at subterfuge. I mean, she never even bothered to establish her backstory in Oriano, and any one of you could have travelled there at any time!” Loam rubbed his chin in thought. “I suppose…” Well, that’s what he said. In his mind, he had already classified this liar as on the same moral scale as a typical adventurer. He prayed to the Forsaken Goddess that he might get away from this encounter with both his home and his crops intact this time. “Yes, yes that is exactly right!” Muddy exclaimed. “Now I was wondering if you could tell me by which road she came into Redfern. You were the first to see her, right? Right?” Loam didn’t answer Muddy, because he was busy rising to his hooves, his eyes riveted to the sky over Muddy’s head. “Dragon!” he suddenly screamed, quickly running around the side of the building. “Everyone to the shelter! Dragon! Dragon!” Muddy turned calmly around to face the smallish red dragon that was flying right for him. Hmm… he thought to himself. I guess I get to find out just how good the Prince’s Charm spell really is. As he watched, the dragon landed neatly on the road. “Parley!” it cried out in a surprisingly loud—and feminine—voice. “I come in peace!” “Hello,” Muddy Pie said, walking right towards the creature. “Welcome to the village of Redfern. Please be forgiving of my fellow villager’s reactions.” “Oh, a rational pony—thank Celestia!” the dragon exclaimed, bounding up to the back fence of Loam Planter’s property. “I am Dame Kameneva, Knight of the Green Tribe.” Up close, Muddy could see that the dragon was wearing a heavy helmet that looked like it was made out of lead. “And I am Muddy Pie,” he said. Seeing that a hoofshake would require him to get far closer to the dragon then he would like, he settled for a bow instead. “What brings a magnificent creature like you out to this miserable part of the world?” Kameneva pointed behind her, to the path that wound up into the Canterhorn. “The cave up there has been unsealed!” she exclaimed. “Has it?” Muddy asked, in a tone he hoped would cause the excitable fire-breathing monster before him to calm down. Kameneva took the hint. “Ah, yes,” she said, scratching the back of her neck with one claw. “Princess Celestia used to be in there, held in a dreamless state that no dragon magic could reverse. Ever since we dragons have found a way to block out the Curse—” (she tapped the side of her helmet a couple of times with a claw) “—I’ve been coming back every few years under the cover of night, to try new methods and to hope that she might have somehow freed herself. And now the entrance is open, and Celestia is gone!” Muddy flinched as a tongue of flame just missed the side of his head. “Oops! Sorry.” “Oh don’t mention it!” Muddy exclaimed. “What’s a little fire between friends?” “Ha, ha! You’re funny!” the dragon exclaimed. “You’re...not part dragon, are you? Something about you is just screaming ‘dragon’ to me.” “Huh, imagine that!” Muddy remarked, trying to pretend he had no idea what she was talking about. Kameneva saw that she wasn’t getting an answer to that question, so she pressed on. “Did you happen to see the Princess leaving? Or, even better, did she maybe leave a message for me? She might have left it under the name ‘Kammy’—that was her nickname for me.” “Ah, well the truth of the matter is that I’m just a caretaker of this property. The true owner…” Muddy cast his eye around until he found Loam cowering behind the side of his cottage, obviously come back to save him from the “rampaging dragon”. “Loam, good fellow! Come on out! This dragon is friendly! Friendly, I tell you!” “OK!” Loam cried out, before cautiously walking over towards the earth pony and dragon. Great, this is just great, he thought bitterly to himself. Father told me this day would come one day: a dragon adventurer, the worst of all possible outcomes. Well, it’s a good thing I left my will in the shelter. “I’m Loam Planter,” he said, “the owner of this here property.” And if you’re my caretaker, I’ll eat my roof, he thought acidly in Muddy’s direction. “And no, Princess Celestia never came down from yonder mountain. Believe me, if that ever happened, I would know about it.” “Oh, you heard me from all the way back there?” Kameneva said. Lady, they probably heard you in Oriano, Loam thought as he silently nodded. You don’t have a pair of lungs each as big as I am for nothing. “Ah, a pity,” the dragon remarked. “About not seeing the Princess.” “If I might venture to ask,” said Muddy Pie, “was there any specific reason you were seeking her?” “Well, the dragons have amassed a mighty flight of Curse-proof dragons,” she told them, “with the intention of liberating the whole of Equestria from the tyranny of gods and adventurers, with her as our vanguard.” “Wow!” Loam exclaimed, instantly won over to this mad scheme. “And why did you need Celestia? You dragons can do practically anything in great enough numbers!” Muddy rolled his eyes. “Because a flight of dragons coming to ‘liberate’ Equestria is going to be seen by ponies in a completely different light if Celestia is there to lead them.” “Oh,” Loam said, thinking this over. “Yeah, I hadn’t really thought of that. But you know, she could have come down at any time, and I wouldn’t have known it.” This caught the attention of both Kameneva and Muddy Pie. “Oh?” asked the red dragon. “And why is that?” “Because the gods know she is a threat,” answered Loam. “Her only choice would have been for her to go in disguise.” “That makes sense,” said Kameneva, scratching her chin. “I last visited the cave four years and three months ago. How many ponies have you seen coming down from the Canterhorn in that time?” “Oh, it must have been dozens,” Loam answered. “The spot is a very prominent shrine to the reverence of the Valiant Bees. Oh...oh my!” he suddenly exclaimed. “That was your cave, wasn’t it?” Both ponies took an unconscious step backwards. Not that that would have done them any good if the dragon did suddenly turn hostile. “Yes,” Kameneva said darkly. “But I’m better now. Your ‘official’ story is completely wrong. And not even in my greed-bloated state was I ever that big.” “Yes, I recall Moldy Cane telling me that once,” Loam Planter said. “He knew quite a bit more about that encounter than he had any right to, but I wasn’t about to question him.” “What about Hope Springs?” Muddy Pie asked very quietly. He had never trusted that earth pony after she had seen through his disguise. He was the one who had pestered Prince Blueblood into starting his investigation. “You mean ‘Spring Hope’?” Loam countered with a wry grin. “Yeah, whoever...did she come from the shrine?” “Yes,” Loam replied, his voice also suddenly hushed. Kameneva looked quietly between the two ponies. Muddy Pie stepped forward, into the place he was standing before Loam’s accusation. “Now, regardless of what you may be thinking, let us establish some generalities. The ponies you saw come down from that shrine—they probably belong to only two categories: adventurers like Moldy Cane, and would-be adventurers like Hope Springs.” “And how did you know that Hope Springs was a would-be adventurer?” Loam said suddenly, turning on Muddy. “You told me, remember?” he said, raising a hoof to his chest in a gesture of innocence. He then turned his attention to Kameneva, biting his lip as he thought very, very carefully about his next course of action. “Ah, yes, I did,” said Loam. “Well, Hope was the only would-be adventurer in the past four years. The rest were all full-blown adventurers, or ponies passing through who heard about the shrine and were curious—but all of those came through the town first. Anyway, you’re right, Mr. Pie, that it doesn’t matter which one of them the Princess was disguised as—every pony I ever saw who ever came straight from the shrine ended up going to the Inn of the Prancing Pony, in Hoofington.” Kameneva took in a sharp hiss of breath on hearing the last words that Loam Planter said. “The heart of the enemy,” she whispered. Muddy Pie remembered the words of his employer, Prince Blueblood: Victory goes to he who is willing to take chances. With a short gallop and a mighty bound, he made his way over Loam Planter’s fence, to land right next to a startled Kameneva. “Lady,” he said with an elaborate bow, “it appears that the salvation of Equestria lies in an alliance between our two peoples. Please allow me to enter your service, and I will do everything in my power to help you and the Princess save Equestria.” “Make him swear!” cried Loam. Muddy turned his head to glare at Loam Planter, and to add the pony to the list of his personal enemies. Many ponies had been added to this list over the years, but very few ponies still remained upon it who were both living and sane. Kameneva’s right claw closed into a fist. There was a small flash from within, and then she opened it to reveal a diamond monocle, which she affixed to her eye. “I’m afraid this is too important for me to trust to just your word, Muddy Pie,” she said. Muddy turned back to face her. “I swear, that I will do all in my power to help Princess Celestia regain control of Equestria from the strange forces that currently control it,” he said. “That much you know is true. I cannot in good conscience, though, make any allegiances with dragons, as I do not know if they might eventually find their interests opposed to that of the Princess.” “But earlier, you said—” Loam started to say. “That was said in the heat of the moment,” Muddy said calmly. “What I just said, however, was true.” Kameneva popped out her monocle and put it back in the same null space she had pulled it from. “He was speaking truth,” she said as she rubbed the eye with a knuckle. “And it is an oath I am perfectly willing to work with. Also, my truth-seer is incredibly uncomfortable, so don’t give me cause to use it again.” That last part was growled more than said. Loam, deciding that he had done enough to protect the adventurer-dragon from the wiles of the adventurer-earth pony, decided to wash his hooves of the matter. “Well, I have to bring my carrot crop in,” he said. “Good luck on your...adventure together.” Neither of them paid him any heed as he picked up his basket of pulled carrots and walked into his cottage. “I would never wish to give you cause to distrust me, My Lady,” Muddy Pie said to Kamenenva with a bow. “Let us return to your former cave, and together we will try to come up with a way to bring our mutual goals to fruition.” “‘Fruition’! Oh, I love the sound of that word in Equine!” Kameneva exclaimed. “Ah, a fellow scholar! How wonderful!” Muddy exclaimed. “You know, I got my cutie mark for my willingness to ‘get dirty’ in my perpetual search for the truth.” “Really!” Kameneva exclaimed. “Tell me more.” # # # When they got back to the cave, Kameneva set to work performing a detailed search of its contents. “I tried to find a message from Celestia,” she explained. “And I want to be really sure she didn’t leave one before we do anything rash.” “A wise course of action! Very wise indeed!” Muddy exclaimed from outside the cave. He quickly removed a sheet of parchment from his saddlebags, a special vial of ink, and a feather quill attached to a long stick, so he could comfortably wield it with his mouth. Using the pen and ink, he wrote a quick message at the bottom of the parchment, a message which dried within seconds of being written. He rubbed a glowing hoof over the words, causing them to disappear. And then he put everything back in his saddlebags and waited for his new dragon acquaintance to finish her search. “Any luck?” he asked at last. “No,” she said sadly as she walked out of the cave. “Which leaves me with the conundrum of how best to bring a dragon flight to Hoofington without having them attacked by adventurers and non-adventurers alike.” “If I may make a suggestion, My Lady?” “Yes?” “You could use an escort...a royal escort.” “Royal?” Kameneva asked, raising one scaly eyebrow. “Yes, the army of the Kingdom of Unicornia.” “I don’t know,” Kameneva said doubtfully. “Wouldn’t the Kingdom cease to exist if Princess Celestia were triumphant?” “Yes…” Muddy Pie said with a thoughtful frown. “But they are suffering mightily from the effects of this...Curse that you describe. Besides, we don’t have to mention the Princess, do we?” He looked up at her with an angelic expression. “It’s too bad that we can’t quickly contact them, though.” “Ah, there you are wrong, Muddy Pie!” the dragon exclaimed triumphantly. “Hundreds of years ago, during the last time when there was a Unicorn Kingdom, a treaty was signed between it and my Green Tribe of dragons, and the monarchy accepted a sending stone, that any dragon might use to send messages. I learned this during my studies of pony history! I even remember that stone’s DBC! If we wrote a message, I could send it straight to the current king or queen of the unicorns.” “Excellent!” exclaimed Muddy. Reaching back into his saddlebags, he removed a certain piece of blank-looking parchment and a different bottle of ink. “I’ll suggest the words, but feel free to change them as you see fit.” Platinum IX, Queen of Unicornia, Ponykind, and the Entire Planet of Equus, had retired early to her bedchamber, complaining of a headache. With her advanced age, this sort of complaint was not very unusual. Sunlight Sparkle had her own theory, however, one that was seemingly validated when she was told to announce a visitor. Sunlight was one of nearly a hundred unicorns who had the great honor of raising and setting the sun each day. It was by this action that the Unicornian monarchy justified its claim to rule the entire world illuminated by that sun, a sacred trust taken over from Princess Celestia until her glorious return. But moving sun, moon and stars was incredibly taxing upon one’s magical reserves, and so members of the Celestial Brigade worked in shifts, with long stretches in between where they performed more menial duties for their queen. Like ceremonial guard. “What is it?” the Queen asked after Sunlight had politely rapped upon her door, her voice slightly muffled by the half-hoof of solid wood between them. “Majesty, it is your son,” Sunlight announced in a ringing voice. “The heir?” the Queen asked from her side of the door. “No, the imbecile,” Sunlight replied. There was no chance that Sunlight would get into trouble for using this title. After all, she had learned it from the Queen herself, and she constantly used it in said “imbecile”s face. “Ah that’s right—he’s due for his monthly thrashing,” the Queen’s voice said wearily. “Let him in. Oh, and Sunlight?” “Yes?” the guard asked, thrilled that the Queen had bothered to remember her. “I’ll have to use the soundproofing spell, to protect your delicate sensibilities. Do not allow anypony in until I open this door, alright?” Sunlight Sparkle drew herself up into a form that only a fellow noble would have the gall to call a “military posture”. “Yes, Your Majesty!” she cried shrilly. She then turned to the mewling figure of Prince Blueblood. “Well, you heard her—get in!” “Yes, ma’am,” the Prince said weakly, before turning the knob with his own hoof like a mud pony and walking in. “I pity that poor stallion sometimes,” Sunlight said sadly, then reconsidered. “Nah!” # # # “Yes, Mama?” Blueblood asked once the soundproofing spell was cast. “Trouble,” said Platinum, levitating a parchment to him. “And before you ask, yes it’s legitimate. It came to me via a dragon-only channel I was using to keep my favorite chair from wobbling.” Queen Platinum IX of Unicornia, The dragons of New Draconia have finally developed a counter to the curse that has robbed us of our reason whilst in your dominions. The selfsame curse which has plagued your land with ‘adventurers’, monsters and disharmony. We propose to set out from New Odessa (formerly the pony city of Baltimare) tomorrow morning with a flight of fifty (50) battle dragons, going over your kingdom at the treaty altitude of one thousand (1,000) pony-heights. Said flight will then land and rendezvous with myself outside your kingdom, in the vicinity of the peak known as the “Canterhorn”. Our final destination shall be the Inn of the Prancing Pony, where we plan to confront the unlawful lords of Equestria, and force them to yield the land to the proper authorities. To accomplish this purpose with a minimum amount of bloodshed, we humbly request the escort of as many of your armed ponies as you deem expedient. Humbly awaiting your reply before the morn, Dame Kameneva of the Green Tribe. “So, what do you think?” asked the Queen. “I think ‘disharmony’ is a very odd word to find in a dragon-penned letter,” said the Prince. “Also, I noted a ‘we’. Considering who I just sent to the vicinity of the Canterhorn…” He cast a quick spell, causing a new set of text to appear, which he proceeded to show to his mother: Hope Springs is Princess Celestia in disguise, and we’re going to join her at the Inn. It is time to choose sides. “‘Choose sides’?” Queen Platinum in a panic. “How can I choose? Fifty dragons are about to fly over Unicornia in a matter of hours, and a day or two after that…?” “A day or two after that,” Prince Blueblood said grimly, “either Celestia will be slain and the whole of Equestria will be lain waste, or we will have a princess again, and you and I will be out of a job. Which outcome would you prefer?” Platinum stared at the floor for several seconds. “Well, it’s been a good run,” she said softly. “Blueblood, I will be sending you and Prince Trove with all the troops we can spare for the Canterhorn. Your brother will have to be in charge, as that’s the only way anypony could possibly be motivated to do something so extraordinary. And you will be in charge of your imbecilic brother. Once you cross the border, it will be an international incident of unprecedented proportions…” “...Which the next ruler will have to handle,” Blueblood said with a gentle smile. “We can get there by noon—tell our dragon correspondent that in your reply.” “I already have Clopernichus digging up the dragon sending spell for me. We’ll also have to send advance word to Duke Sparkle, to get you through Horn’s Reach without incident. And you just know he’ll want a position in the army.” Blueblood smiled. “Give me a written commission to make his eldest daughter one of Trove’s lieutenants, and Comet will have no choice but to stay behind and literally hold down the fort. Captain Sparkle can be depended on to put the cause of Equestria before her own family’s political gain.” Platinum beamed. “Son, you’re a genius!” “I have my moments, Mother Dear. Now after we’re gone, keep an eye on your Celestial Brigade. You’ll know we’ve made our move...when they start panicking.”