Ancient myths from the dawn of time say that after the gods created ponykind, they bestowed upon them the greatest gift known to mortals. More precious than gold, more beautiful than rubies, more vital than the sun and moon. Their gift is essential to life as web today know it: without it, our world would be naught but chaos.
This gift is 30-minute lunch period.
Octavia stood in a slow line that shuffled up to what she fervently hoped was the salad bar. She craned her neck, trying to see above the winding trail of ponies, but to no avail.
"Trying to be a giraffe, I see." Octavia spun around to see none other than Vinyl, giving her typical goofy smile.
"You know, I'm not even going to insult you back, because after last night I am so glad to see you, Vinyl." And with that, Octavia stood on her hind legs to give Vinyl a lung-crushing hug.
"Dear Celestia," Vinyl managed to choke out, still grinning up at the other mare, "which changeling took Tavi and replaced her with you?"
"No," said Octavia sternly, "don't even mention changelings to me. But other than that, hello."
Vinyl laughed. "Well, somepony's in a good mood today."
"All the ponies in my classes so far are wonderful," Octavia said, "but already I think my professor favors me," finishing with her chest puffed out in pride.
"Yup, that's my Octavia," Vinyl said. "If we were roommates, I'd cut out half your brain and use it for Music History. Sheesh, that class is already a killer. So. Much. Reading."
"Haha, sure Vinyl," Octavia replied with a laugh as she grabbed a tray. "You'd probably just end up selling my brain to scientists to dissect..." Her eyes suddenly went wide. "Oh, hell no."
Vinyl craned her neck and raised an eyebrow at Octavia. "What's up?" she asked, confused.
"One night with that mare, and already she's infecting my brain." The mare placed a hoof to her head.
"What, the unicorn?" asked Vinyl, absentmindedly tossing an apple.
"Lyra's her name, and yes, her," answered Octavia, saying the last word the way somepony would say maggots or vomit or 25-minute lunch period.
"So I guess last night wasn't best friends' sleepover with makeup and pillow fights?" Vinyl asked.
"Oh Celestia, no. And don't you dare say that around her; it'll just give her ideas."
"Come on, Tavi," said Vinyl as she piled salad onto Octavia's tray, "can't you two even try to be friends?"
"With all the work it took for me to have you as a friend?" Octavia threw her head back in mock laughter. "Fat chance."
"Point taken," said Vinyl, grabbing a daisy sandwich for herself. "Seriously, didn't your parents ever teach you that superiority complexes aren't all that endearing to ponies?"
Octavia kept her head fixed forward, but Vinyl could still feel a glare cutting through her soul.
"Anyway," Vinyl said quickly, "how about acquaintances? And don't tell me that that's impossible. We can't have you strangling cats all month. Didn't you learn anything interesting about her last night?"
"Other than the fact that she thinks I'm an alien changeling vampire or something? Nothing I couldn't have picked up on already, the little carrot-eating freak."
Vinyl rolled her eyes. "If you want ponies to be nice, Tavi, you need to meet them halfway. Oh well, break this down for me. What exactly did you say to this mare?"
"Polite requests, reasonable complaints, crippling insults, and probably a death threat or two somewhere in there."
Much to Octavia's surprise, Vinyl threw back her head and, instead of chastising her, broke out into roaring laughter.
"Vinyl, what's going on?" Octavia demanded.
"Oh, oh Celestia, it's too much," Vinyl cried, tears squeezed out the corners of her eyes. "Tavi... sometimes you're just too much, Tavi.... In the name of Celestia, I can't even, haha! You two are going to be great friends!"
Octavia dragged Vinyl out of line by her ear. "Come on, out with it!"
"Isn't obvious, Tavi?" Vinyl said once she was able to properly breathe. "You're treating her exactly like me!"
Octavia just stared. "I don't get it."
"Think back to yesterday. How many times did you threaten to punch me in the face?"
"I never--!" Octavia paused to think. "Well, alright, there was that one time... oh come on, a garbage can can't do much damage anyway... you could survive a cinderblock falling on your head, couldn't you?"
Vinyl snorted, chuckling all the while.
"I hate you."
"See!" Vinyl said, gesturing to Octavia with her hoof flying wildly. "That's my point! We're best friends because we talk to each other like garbage! It's the same with that mare Lyra!"
"Ha, ha, ha, I don't think so, Vinyl," said Octavia. "Now come on, let's find a table."
All around them, ponies were aiming to do the exact same thing. They milled around in large groups, those already seated moved over to accommodate their friends, and the rest started food fights because food fights are fun. And thus, the two mares arrived at the absolutely, positively, most terrifying part of 30-minute lunch: finding a place to sit.
"The gods have terrible taste in humor," Octavia grumbled.
Somewhere in one of the academy's many music rooms, a cymbal clash could be heard.
Yet it was a much sweeter sound compared to what Octavia heard next.
"Octavia! Octaaaviaaaaa!" Derpy called as she waved her hoof in the air. "Come sit by us!" She pointed to Lyra, scribbling in a newspaper held upside down. "We saved you a seat!"
"Oh Tartarus why..." Octavia groaned. She glanced to her right, and there was Vinyl, wearing a devious grin.
Her eyes widened. "Oh don't you dare, Vinyl--"
A mischievous light glinted in the DJ's eyes. "Bye, Tavi!" she shouted over her shoulder. "Have fun with your new friends!"
"No, no, no, a beheading's too swift," Octavia muttered to herself as Derpy and Lyra grew closer into view with each of her shaking steps. "First I'll string her up in a deserted field for a few hours... yes, yes, the right amount of terror... then I'll sell her to the aliens. It's perfect, perfect! Ahaha, ahaha, ahahaha!"
Outside, a fluke lightning bolt went off, followed by a pegasus shouting, "Sorry! I just don't know what went wrong!"
Lyra grinned smugly. "My star," she said, glowing with pride, "already she's on the walk to villainy."
"You could take a walk too, creep," Octavia said. "A long walk off a short pier."
Octavia's head swiveled back and forth to get a full view of the cafeteria. Surely in this crowd, there had to be somepony calling her name. That stallion in the corner, he was waving at her, right? Right?!
Alarms went off in Octavia's head as she was attacked by a large and strangely soft bear net. Derpy looked up, forelegs still holding Octavia in a hug, and her eyes shone with an absolute brilliance.
"Yay!" she shouted, clapping her hooves after dragging Octavia to the empty chair. "Now all my friends are here!"
"Faust, why have you forsaken me?" Octavia's head collapsed into a pillow of salad.
Derpy giggled. "Silly Octy, that's not how you're supposed to eat salad!"
"Yeah, 'Octy,'" said Lyra, restraining a snort, "'leaf' the sleeping to the dorm room. 'Lettuce' supply your 'parsley' knowledge with a 'basil' technique for proper etiquette. Also, carrot, carrot, carrot."
"No," said Octavia as she buried her head further in lettuce. "I'm done. Tell the doctor I'm dead and need immediate brain bleach."
"Unfortunately, such an autopsy would only further Miss Lyra's ahh... unique hypothesis about you," said a new voice.
Moaning in agony, Octavia glanced up from her salad to see...
"The Doctor," the brown-coated stallion said, offering his hoof from across the table. "And you I take it you are Miss Octavia Melody?"
As if struck by lightning, Octavia was suddenly sitting perfectly erect. "Ahem, why yes, yes I am," she said, extending her hoof in return. "And you are the Doctor you said? Doctor who?"
A twinkle danced in his eye. "Just the Doctor is fine, Miss Melody."
"Octavia," she said. "You may call me Octavia."
"Octavia," the Doctor said, his accent softening the a's and giving the t and the v slight emphasis. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance."
Inwardly, Octavia grinned. See, Vinyl? I can do acquaintances no problem. "Likewise."
Out of the corner of her eye, Octavia spied Lyra staring at her with curled lips and two eyebrows that disappeared under her mane. Octavia frowned, but the look only persisted, now with a subtle mirth behind it.
"So this is the infamous Mrs. Bubbles strangler, Derpy?" the Doctor asked. "Interesting. Please take care that such an incident does not occur again, Octavia. My dear friend here would be most terribly distraught."
"Oh, of course not!" Octavia agreed quickly. "No, it will never happen again. Please, accept my apologies."
The Doctor nodded his head. "Looks like you may be better off than I feared, Derpy. It was a pleasure to meet both of you young mares. Miss Lyra, if their is ever a campaign for flufflepuff independence, you most certainly have my support. While I'd love to stay and talk, I'm afraid my next class is on the other side of campus. I merely came to check up on Derpy."
He tipped his head to all three mares. "Good day, Derpy, Miss Lyra, Octavia." Straining his neck, he looked up at the front of the cafeteria. "The line's much shorter now, Derpy. On my way out, would you like me to get you a muf...?"
But Octavia wasn't listening to the Doctor anymore. "And just what are you thinking about now?" Octavia snapped at Lyra.
"Oh, nothing," the unicorn answered in a sing-song voice, "though I have a pretty good guess about what you're thinking. You know, nothing sells books like a little dash of romance--"
A blush rose to Octavia's cheeks. "And now I'm leaving," she said matter-of-factly. And with that she gathered the scattered leaves of her salad, tossed them in the trashcan, and walked away with a toss over her mane.
"Aww," Derpy said, hanging her head. "I wanted all my friends to stay."
Lyra gently lifted Derpy's face by the chin. "Cheer up, Derpy!" said Lyra. "Miss Grouchypants will be at orchestra practice after classes, so we'll get the whole afternoon all to ourselves to do anything we want."
Just like that, Derpy lit up like a Hearth's Warming Eve tree. "Really? You'll hang out with me?"
Lyra nodded. "You've got it."
"This is great! We can.... Umm.... What do you want to do?"
"Anything you want, kid," Lyra said. "Anything at all."
"Anything?"
"It's the first full day of classes, right?" Lyra asked before leaning in for the dramatic finish. "Then let's go absolutely wild."