//------------------------------//
// Chapter 8: Time to Go 
// Story: This Can't Be Happening 
// by StayOuttaMyShed 
//------------------------------//

"And then she actually said that she'd go on a date with him!"

Lyra gasped for what must have been the fourth time in my story. The mare seemed to be absolutely fascinated with everything I had to say. The other patrons of the restaurant we were eating at, the same place that Lyra had apparently stalked me to a few days ago, shot Lyra a confused look for the umpteenth time due to her reactions. Bon Bon simply giggled.

"So in a way, I guess your advice really did help Spike," Bon Bon said before taking another bite from her daisy sandwich.

"Well, I wouldn't say that," I replied. "The stuff I had him try didn't get her to like him even a little bit."

"Of course it didn't work," Lyra said. "Ignoring her? Having him be a jerk to her? What kind of pony would want to hook up with a guy doing that?"

"You'd be surprised," Bon Bon replied with a chuckle. "I knew some mares back in school that were huge suckers for the bad boys."

"Were you one of them?" I asked, giving her a grin.

She blushed. "Maaaybe. But I was young and stupid back then. That stuff definitely wouldn't work on me now."

"Suuure it wouldn't," Lyra replied, nudging her with a cheeky grin. "Don't act like you don't go crazy for every good looking jerk that passes through Ponyville."

The earth pony shot her friend a glare, making Lyra giggle. I took a bite of hay fries while Bon Bon cleared her throat.

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

Lyra rolled her eyes. "The point is, you'd never see tricks like that working on somepony like me. It takes a lot for some stallion to get my attention."

"That's because you're too high maintenance," Bon Bon yelled, making it her turn to earn some confused looks for the first time since we arrived. "These days if somepony doesn't share the same fascination with humans that you have, you turn them away without a second thought!"

"It's not my fault that nopony sees how interesting humans are. Isn't that right, Morgan?"

It took me a second to actually realize that Lyra had turned her attention to me. I was busy enjoying their banter. It reminded me of being at the lunch table and listening to my friends argue about stupid shit like their tastes in video games.

"I don't know, Lyra, listening to the two of you go back and forth just helps convince me that you ponies and us are pretty dang similar. Minus the whole flying and magic thing."

"Thank you," Bon Bon replied, giving her friend a smug smile. "Even Morgan agrees that your human obsession is silly."

"Now I didn't necessarily say that," I continued. "The differences are there. Plus, there's plenty of people back home who are even more obsessed with you guys. They make Lyra's interest in humans look like a mere casual hobby."

"Ha." Lyra laughed obnoxiously in Bon Bon's face. "Ya hear that? I'm not the only one!"

"Well, maybe some of those human boys would be up to your standards," Bon Bon commented, taking a sip from her drink. "Maybe you should just go to Morgan's world with him and date one of them."

Man, that would probably fulfill some nerd's self insert fan fiction fantasy back home. It's probably for the best that Lyra never gets to see the human world for herself. She wouldn't last ten minutes.

"I don't think it's possible for anypony else to go back besides me and Pinkie Pie," I replied, unsure if the answer was even true or not. "But hey, if Twilight can figure out a way then maybe Pinkie could take you with her sometime in the future."

"Speaking of which, when does Twilight	get back from her research in Canterlot?" Lyra asked, wiping away some crumbs from her mouth. "Haven't seen her around town in a while."

"Spike got a letter last night from her saying that she was coming home today. Said she apparently had some big news for me."

"Sounds like she might have found the way to get you home," Bon Bon said with a warm smile. I gotta say, she took the information Lyra spilled about the interview, the whole human world creating them thing included, oddly well. Of course, it was possible she was simply humoring us, but details.

Lyra, meanwhile, pouted and looked down at her plate as if someone had just told her about her puppy dying. I guess she wasn't eager to say goodbye to the first human she ever met so quickly.

"Well, who knows? Maybe the big news that she has for me is that I'm screwed and gotta stay here forever. Maybe her and the princess need to go somewhere else in Equestria to do more human research. Might still be a while before I go home."

I tried giving Lyra a smile, but she was still mopping, staring at her hay fries like they'd somehow give her a way to have more time to learn about humans from me.

"You two want to come to the library with me to see what Twilight has to say?" I offered.

Lyra's ears perked up and she grinned suddenly. "Yeah, that sounds fun. You in, Bon Bon?"

Her cream colored friend politely shook her head. "Sorry, can't. Pinkie Pie asked me to make some candies for an upcoming party of hers. I'll have my hooves tied at home."

Lyra shrugged, jumping from her seat. "Suit yourself. You ready to go, Morgan?"

Well I wanted to eat dessert before we left, but Lyra was already up and raring to go. Would be kind of awkward to tell her to sit back down so I can finish stuffing my face. "Yeah, I'm ready."

"Don't drive him too crazy, now," Bon Bon commented playfully while leaving the payment for the food on the table. "You've already put him through enough."

I laughed and waved goodbye while Lyra shooed her friend away. The food paid for, I started making my way back to the library with her close behind. "Ya know, for two mares that are just friends, you guys sure do banter like a a couple sometimes."

Looking back, I could see Lyra's face flushing red before she turned away with a scoff. "Don't be ridiculous. Friends can banter too, ya know."

Well, can't argue with that. I'll banter with my friends six ways to Sunday, but I can't recall ever wanting to smash one of them.

"Eh, I'm just messing with ya." Which was mostly true, but I still think they'd make a good couple. "Knowing you, you'd probably try to pull out some sort of human roleplay in the bedroom and I don't think she'd be into that."

That got Lyra laughing, which is good since I don't want this whole me going home deal bumming her out too much. Looking around, I noticed a few locals I'd gotten to know giving me sly looks. Right, had let that whole thing about ponies thinking we were dating slip my mind. Not like it mattered anymore, anyways.

"I'm not gonna lie, Morgan, I'm definitely hoping the news is that you're still stuck here for a bit longer." She wiped away a tear from the laughter and let out a big ol' sigh. "I know that's selfish, but we really got off on the wrong hoof. Talking to you is so fun. I really wish I would have cut out the whole spying thing so I could have had more time to just hang out."

Well shit, now the pony is trying to make ME emotional about all of this. I try laughing it off. "Yeah, I guess you still have plenty more questions about humans and stuff, eh?"

"I mean, yeah, you can never run out of human questions and it's not like the opportunity comes around every day to ask one. But you're a pretty alright guy, yourself. It always stinks having to say goodbye to a friend, especially when you've known them for such a short amount of time."

Friend? We've only really been on truly friendly speaking terms for just a few days now, but she'd still already call me her friend? Well... I guess friendship IS kind of in the title of the show. And yeah, even is she was kind of a loon, Lyra turned out to be pretty cool to talk with as well. Definitely someone I could see myself being friends with back home. And there was Spike, the ponies at the arcade... huh, I guess I did make friends here. Damn cartoon living up to its name.

"I GUESS it wouldn't totally suck if I had to stay a bit longer," I replied, dripping the sentence in as much sarcasm as I could muster. Lyra gave me a side eye, smirking. "Ok, I wouldn't totally despise it. But only if it was for a BIT longer. My friends and family are probably still worried about me."

I'd honestly lost track of the time since arriving here. I can't even remember how long I've been gone now. Putting it bluntly, everyone probably thinks I'm dead. How the hell am I supposed to explain what happened to me while I was gone? They'll throw me in the loony bin if I tell the truth. I guess I could just lie, say I was feeling angsty and tried to run away. Maybe they wouldn't even care why, as long as I'm back.

"Well, regardless of if you have to leave now or later, I just wanted to say thanks for making my first interaction with a human a good one," Lyra said, breaking my train of thought after a bit of silence. "So... yeah, thanks!"

She flashed a big smile that I couldn't help but smile back at. Thing was infectious. "Yeah, yeah, you're welcome. You definitely helped make sure my stay here wasn't boring."

And with all that mushy talking stuff conveniently wrapped up, we finally made it to the library. Just approaching the door, I could hear multiple muffled voices on the inside. Looks like the gang was all here. No need to knock, I strolled on in.

As expected, the usual suspects were all accounted for. All six of the ponies and Spike gathered around a table where Twilight seemed to have sat some scrolls and books down. They looked up at the sound of the door opening, Pinkie grinning and waving.

"Well it's about time ya showed up," Applejack said. "Where in tarnation were ya?"

"Me, him, and Bon Bon were having lunch!" Lyra went ahead and invited herself inside after answering, sauntering on in behind me. "Sorry if we lost track of the time."

The others, minus Pinkie, had varying looks of surprise to see a guest with me. Twilight looked to the side at Spike, who shrugged. Pinkie, being Pinkie, just continued to wave at her. "Hey, Lyra!"

Lyra waved back. I could tell Twilight was still a bit taken back that I brought somepony along with me, but in my defense all Twilight gave as a heads up to her return was a letter sent to Spike the night before. We could both pull off short notice. "So what's new? You find out anything good on your trip?"

"Um." Twilight looked from me to Lyra. "Well, yes, but it's probably best we discuss it in private. No offense, Lyra, it's always good to see you, but we have matters to discuss with Morgan that I'd imagine he wants to keep secret."

"Actually I've already told her everything," I reply, waving my hoof hand dismissively. "So it's all good."

Cue the awkward silence. Everyone just kinda stares at us in a mix of shock and bewilderment.

"You did WHAT?" Applejack was the one to break the silence, banging her hoof on the table for added emphasis. "Now just why in the name of Celestia would you go an do something like that?"

"I have to agree," Rarity added. "That's certainly a lot of information for one pony to process. It can't be wise to just tell ponies willy nilly, darling."

True, learning that you're just a cartoon is probably enough to give some ponies an existential crisis. But thankfully Lyra turned out to be one of the ones that actually enjoyed hearing that.

"Eh, what can I say, she forced the information out of me." I shrug. "She's pretty persuasive."

"So what were you about to say?" Lyra asked, walking on up to the table with a grin. I also join the rest at the table, taking a glance at the scrolls Twilight had laid out. They all seemed to be written in indiscernible horse gibberish that I couldn't read, so Twilight was gonna have to explain. I nodded for her to continue as Lyra asked.

"O... k. Well, if you're comfortable with her being here I suppose there's no reason for me to object." She pulled one of the scrolls closer to her, the others leaning closer to read. I still couldn't understand shit on it, but I did notice a few pictures of ponies in old wizard looking cloaks on it. "Initially I wasn't able to find much of use at the Canterlot library. Any mentions of humans or alternate dimensions were usually treated as fiction and nothing more."

She levitated another scroll closer to her, basking it with her purple aura of magic before continuing. "I wasn't really sure how to approach the Royal Sisters about this, but when I couldn't find anything conclusive it seemed like the only option. So I did my best to explain everything about your situation and your connection to our world."

"How'd they take it?" I asked, genuinely curious. Just how do what I can only assume the pony equivalent of Gods are, react to being told they're a creation of humans from another world entirely? Would they even believe her?

"Honestly? Pretty well, actually." Twilight focused on one of the scrolls, featuring some wizard looking pony with a sweet beard. "Star Swirl had always theorized on the origins of how we came to be, so they were actually quite fascinated to hear about your story."

Fascinated? Sounds to me like this was news to them as well, so how would they be able to help? I also had no idea who this Star Swirl dude was, but that detail didn't seem to be important. "Well that's nice, but where did you go from there?"

Looking over another one of the scrolls, I could notice a drawing of a pony facing some sort of big oval. A portal of some kind? It was all swirly looking on the inside, so that's where my mind went to. "The human detail sort of stumped them, so they thought the best chance I'd have to find answers would be in..." She suddenly stopped herself, looking around at everypony with a huge grin and a twinkle in her eye. "Are you ready for this? The Canterlot Library's... RESTRICTED SECTION!"

She squeed an ear piercing squee that messed with my ear drums something fierce. She hopped up and down in place, for some reason overcome with excitement over these restricted books. "I never knew it even HAD a restricted section! Can you believe it?"

Twilight had turned to the nearest pony to her, Rainbow Dash, sticking her huge grin in the Pegasus' face. Dash chuckled awkwardly, scooting the unicorn back. "No offense, Twilight, but I don't think Morgan really cares about that part."

Yup, hit the nail on the head there. I've never been a big reading guy. Was kind of ready for Twilight to just get to the point. But hey, didn't wanna be rude, so when she looked over at me to confirm, I just kind of shrugged instead of voicing any of that.

Twilight cleared her throat, adjusting some of the scrolls and turning her attention to the one with the portal looking thing. "Right, of course. Anyway, it was in the restricted section that I found some interesting writings that might actually help us. The first of which was this scroll which contains a sort of old journal entry. In it they describe a gateway to an other world populated by creatures fitting the description of humans." She looked over the writing. "It's old and much of the journal seems to be missing so there isn't a whole lot of details to go off of, but it claims the gateway is somewhere here in Equestria."

"Huh. Interesting." Equestria was a pretty damn big place from what I understood, so that indeed wasn't much to go off of. "So we would have to find this gateway, wherever it is, and then I could use it to go home?"

"That's what I was thinking," Twilight replied before scooting over a dusty old book and moving the scrolls away. "But then I found this ancient text that actually goes in depth on alternate dimension theorizing. It has two main categories for potential alternate worlds. Those that are directly connected to us, and those that aren't. And from what I could infer from that scroll, it would be the former, whereas your world would be the latter."

Geez, this was starting to get complicated. Thankfully, I don't think I was the only one feeling as much, since the rest of the girls and Spike all seemed to be equally perplexed trying to keep up with what she was saying. "So... lemme see if I got this right. Whatever this gateway to a human world you found out about is, it's something that's already directly connected to you guys. Not like what Pinkie pulled me through. So even if we were to find it, going through it would just be like some sorta... spinoff of where I am already. I'd just go deeper down the rabbit hole."

Twilight nodded. "That's the gist of it, yes."

"Basically... it's useless to us then?" No use in beating around the bush, if that's where this was heading.

"I'm afraid so," Twilight confirmed, taking her hoof and skimming over the pages of the book. "But that was just the case for that particular portal. After all, the book theorized about alternate universes not directly connected to us. So I studied further and found something interesting."

And now we're talking. "What was it?" I took a look at the book out of curiosity, even if I could read shit. Who knows, maybe she was about to point out some pictures that I'd actually be able to understand. 

Flipping through a few pages, the purple unicorn came to a stop on one page which had a touch of... was that glitter? The hell?

"I came to this portion of the text where the author conducts an interview with a pegasus. She had a white coat, a yellow mane, and most interestingly they described her as a fun loving bundle of energy... with a love for parties." She looked up from the book. "Remind you of anypony?"

"Well with that appearance description it kinda reminds me of one of the Wonderbolts," Rainbow Dash pointed out. Now to me personally, it sounded like she was describing Pinkie but as a pegasus, but these girls know more about different ponies than I do.

Apparently it wasn't the answer Twilight was looking for, since she gave Dash a stern look. "This book was written hundreds of years ago, don't be ridiculous. But that's beside the point. The author goes on to interview this pegasus, where she describes to them her ability to see into another world with mammal-like creatures beyond an otherwise unseen wall. Again, remind you of anypony?"

"Oh! Oh! Pick me, pick me!" Pinkie hopped up and down, waggling her arm in the air as if Twilight was a teacher and she wanted to get called on to answer a question for the class. Then again, Twilight probably wouldn't be a half bad teacher, but I digress.

"So the author met somepony like Pinkie back in the day?" I said, deciding to point out the obvious to keep things on track. After all, if this was leading to a way to get me home, we needed to get this show on the road. "Did she ever bite the bullet and pull a human into this world too?"

Twilight glanced over the text, shaking her head. "They asked her if she could demonstrate, but she replied by saying the creatures could only be interacted with if they were directly watching. The author didn't know what she meant by this, but it sounds to me like how it is when your kind watch us on the show you described."

A fair guess, considering how I was watching the show when Pinkie swooced right into my friend's room.

"However." Twilight grinned, holding the book up for the others to be able to read. No pictures were provided, so I guess I'd just have to make do with listening. "She claimed that she HAD brought one of the humans into our world once before."

"Now that sounds promising," Lyra commented, taking the words out of my mouth. "Then what?"

"According to this pegasus, she pulled the human through some sort of portal into Equestria. When it came time to take them back to their world, she was able to find the portal in the same place she had brought them through originally." Closing the book, Twilight gave me an optimistic nod. "So while it isn't the most solid lead, my hypothesis is that we'll find the way to get you home wherever Pinkie originally brought you through to Equestria."

Well hot damn. Just when things were starting to look hopeless, finally a breakthrough. I could almost kiss Twilight for the information. Emphasis on the almost, do I look like some kind of sick furry to you? "I don't know what to say, Twilight, other than thanks. This really might be just the ticket to getting me home."

"Remind me, darling, where was it again that Pinkie Pie originally brought you from?" Rarity asked curiously. I had to pause for a second and think on that one, it had been so long since the original incident that I had nearly forgotten which episode was on specifically. But after a quick glance over at Pinkie, it hit me.

"It was that one place with the buffalo and cowboy ponies," I recalled, thinking over the details of that episode. "Pinkie had just sang that song that everybody hated. Something about sharing? Yeah, something like that."

"Appleoosa?" Applejack answered, confused. "But Big Mac talked to Braeburn just the other day after a delivery, and he didn't mention nothing about no portal floating around town."

"Maybe it only appears when Morgan is nearby?" Fluttershy suggested.

"That's... actually a plausible explanation," Twilight responded, tapping her hoof against her chin, looking to be in thought. "Morgan being here to begin with is a sort of anomaly, but he's been staying in Ponyville for sometime now with no issues. Perhaps whatever portal it is that can take him home only shows itself when the anomaly is nearby."

While I could do without being referred to as 'the anomaly' as if I'm some sort of science experiment, it was as good an explanation as any for me. "So basically, if we go to this Appleoosa joint, the portal I was brought through should open up and I can finally go back home?"

Twilight nodded. "In theory, anyway. This isn't a guarantee since we're just going off of a potential lead from a very old text, but it's definitely worth a try."

"Good enough for me! So when are we leaving?" I looked around at the others expectantly. Honestly, I was ready to go here and now. Even if I had only been in Equestria for a few weeks, it felt closer to something like six years. Needless to say, I'd overstayed my welcome.

"If we finish any needed preparations tonight we should be able to leave tomorrow," the unicorn answered looking around at the others. "The trip isn't too long, but we don't know what all could happen if getting Morgan there does trigger a portal, so it's best to be ready for anything."

"I'll get in contact with Braeburn tonight and let him know we're coming," Applejack added. "It'll probably be for the best that they get everypony out of the city for a bit, just in case something goes weird with that portal."

"And I'll be sure we have enough snacks for the trip!" Just as soon as she finished saying that, Pinkie was already dashing out of the door. Hopefully Twilight didn't have anything else major to add, I wouldn't want to be the poor sap that would have to catch up to her and fill her in.

To her credit, the bookworm seemed only slightly annoyed at her bailing so suddenly. "The rest of you just be sure to pack anything you think we might need. It can't hurt to be too prepared."

"You can count on us!" Rainbow Dash gave a little salute before flying out of the library just as quick as Pinkie had left, if not faster. Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack were much less intense with their exits. With them gone, Twilight turned her attention to Spike.

"We should send a letter to Celestia and Luna to let them know what we're doing. In case something pops up that needs our attention, they'll know where to find us."

Trotting off to where I can only assume was somewhere that had the needed materials to write a letter, now I was left alone in the middle of the library. Well, aside from the last pony that had yet to leave.

"So... I guess that's it, then?" Lyra asked. "You'll be leaving for good tomorrow."

"Seems like it," I answered. "Hopefully this lead turns out to be the real deal."

Lyra didn't really seem to know how to respond to that. There was a bit of an awkward silence, which was great because then I didn't know what to say either. Dang pony trying to make me feel guilty about leaving.

"Well, I'm happy for you," she finally said, offering a smile. "Like I said earlier, I do wish we would have had more time to talk and hang out. But you have friends and family waiting for you back home. I'm sure they'll be pretty excited to have you back."

Must resist urge to tear up. I can get emotional about seeing my loved ones again when I know for sure that this lead will even bring results. "Yeah, guess I gotta start working on some sort of explanation to explain why I've been gone, eh? Somehow I don't think they'd believe the real deal."

Lyra chuckled at my comment, and then we're back to the awkward silence. I've never been one good with handling sudden goodbyes, and I can only assume she was the same way. After a few moments, an idea finally crossed my mind. Something I remembered from my friends when it came to the show. Cringey it may have been, but it wasn't like anyone was looking. Ah, fuck it. May as well.

I held up my right hoof, offering what the guys back home referred to as a brohoof. "Well, you take care."

Actually in retrospect, I didn't know if the whole brohoof thing was just made up by the people who watched the show, or if it was actually something these ponies did. Was I just making myself look like a weirdo?

"Thanks. You take care, too." Lyra bumped my hoof with hers, averting any further awkwardness I feared from the gesture being unknown among the ponies themselves. Since that seemed to be as good a note as any to leave off of, Lyra gave a little wave and finally made her way out of the library as well.

I wasn't really sure what to do now. Did I need to prepare? How would I even go about doing so? Would I be appearing back in Axel's room or could I end up appearing anywhere like what happened for me here? Should I bring anything? I didn't exactly get pulled in by Pinkie with anything else other than the clothes on my back. Which were gone when I woke up here. Did they just pop out of existence? Would I be naked when going back to the human world? Shit, that would be pretty awkward if anyone else is around when I come back.

"I wonder what they're up to right now anyway?"





"You... wanna meet up with some of the guys and go eat some wings or something?"

I can't even bother finding the energy to say anything to Brycen. Hanging out and goofing off was the last thing on my mind. Ever since Morgan disappeared, all I've cared about is finding him. Hell, I fully accept the very real possibility that he may be dead by now, but I just need closure. I was the one that left him at my place alone, it didn't matter what the others told me. Whatever happened to him was my fault.

"Dude, it's been weeks, you can't keep being like this," he continued. "Morgan wouldn't want you too, either."

It's been an endless cycle of these assurances for a while now, but all I can do is put on my signal light and continue driving. There's a town about 45 minutes out west that I haven't hit up yet with missing posters, so it had to be worth a shot.

"Axel, at least say something."

"What do you want me to say? I'll stop worrying about everything when I finally get some answers. What's so wrong with that?" Seriously, why can't people just leave me be on this? I'm well aware that I've been depressing lately, but can they blame me?

"And what if we don't get any closure?" He asks. I shoot him a glare, but have to put my eyes back on the road right after. "Seriously, I'm just being realistic here, you can't let this consume you forever. For all we know he's hitchhiked his way to Canada to start a new life by now."

I mean... he's not wrong, that could be what happened. Maybe not Canada specifically, but he could have just ran away. But why would he ditch everyone without saying goodbye, or leaving some sort of note? Maybe he didn't want to be followed? That would be kind of a dick move, but he is kind of an asshole I guess.

"Look, at the very least you need to take a breather, or you're going to go crazy," Brycen continued. "How about tomorrow we just chill? Kick back, watch some TV, recharge the batteries?"

"... Fine. You're right." I sigh. As much as I'd like to magically find out where Morgan is, the longer we go, the less likely it is that I will. The searches have been draining. One day to relax wouldn't hurt. It's not like Morgan is going to suddenly come home tomorrow.





"Welp, time to go home." I trotted into the library, feeling as ready as I'd ever be. I had spent the morning saying my goodbyes. Everyone at the arcade, Derpy, even the mayor. I gave them all the same story of needing to go back to Las Pegasus due to a family emergency. Stratus seemed pretty bummed to see me go, but I pointed out that he'd at least have an easier time maintaining high scores at the games with me gone. Not gonna lie, I was gonna miss the dude myself, probably would have fit right in with my friend group if he was a human.

I considered going by to say goodbye to Bon Bon, but I decided against it since it would be a bit awkward had Lyra also been there following our goodbye from yesterday. So with that all out of the way, it was time to finally get my ass back to Earth. "Are we all set?"

The gang had already assembled in the time it took me to tell everyone bye. Five of the ponies had saddlebags draped over their backs for the trip ahead, while Rarity seemed to have Spike carrying her luggage. Twilight nodded, already making her way to the door with the others following. "Indeed. We should get going, Morgan, the first train should be departing soon."

She exited the library, the others filing out behind her. I took one last look around the tree home before I brought up the rear. For a library, it wasn't a half bad guest house while I was stuck here. A solid 3.5 star accommodation. Would have been a 4 if the breakfast was better.

Once I finally finished taking it all in one last time, I exited the library to see Pinkie... twitching? At the back of the line, unseen by the others, her tail had shot up and she seemed to vibrate in place. It only lasted for a moment, and she looked off into the sky once it was over.

"Uh... you alright, Pinkie?"

Blinking, she flashed me a smile and nodded as if nothing weird just happened. "Yup! Let's get you home!"

Humming a little tune, she just hops on along towards the others, apparently uninterested in telling me what just happened. Freakin weirdo. But I guess being weird is her whole shtick, so at this point I should stop questioning it.

We arrived at the train station just a few minutes later. It was on the edge of town, but thankfully on the edge closest to Twilight's library. Convenient. Since I was broke as shit the others covered my ticket, and we had just taken our seats in a car near the back of the train when the whistle signaling a last call bellowed. By the way, the train was the most disgustingly tacky thing I had seen here yet. Pink, covered in hearts, and cars that look like they belong on a gingerbread house? Guess they had to up the sickeningly cutesy factor with something one more time before I left.

"Man, this train is a darn eyesore."

.... Wait a minute. Darn? That's not what I said. I said damn eyesore. Why did it sound like I said darn instead?

"Everything alright, Morgan?" Spike asked, seemingly noticing the weird expression I had taken on. "Did you forget something back at Twilight's?"

Blinking, I shook my head and brushed off the odd moment. "Nah, I was just thinking about something. Don't worry about-"

Before I could even finish my sentence, I end up absentmindedly hitting one of my front legs into a train seat. Guess that's what I get for not watching where I was going.

"Ah shoot, that hurt."

Shoot? Ok, I know for sure this time that shoot wasn't what I meant to say. 

"Crud. Heck. Darn it. Son of a biscuit eater... fudge." Why in the goddamn name of fuck can't I cuss? I've cussed plenty of times since coming here. Sure, the ponies usually don't know what the words mean, but it didn't stop me from saying them. Why am I now all of a sudden being censored?

"Uh... huh." Spike shook his head, walking over to his seat. "You're acting weird."

"He's probably just overcome with excitement about going home!" Pinkie grinned at me, something that wasn't uncommon for someone as bubbly and friendly as her. But there was something a bit different about that grin. Something... knowing? Maybe I'm overthinking it.

The train made a hiss as the engine came to life, and steam from the front of the locomotive flew by the windows. They weren't kidding when they said this thing was leaving soon. I have no idea why I can't cuss all of a sudden, but it doesn't matter. The important thing is we're on our way to getting me home. Once I'm back I can say whatever I want. Hopefully, at least. Are there lasting side effects for staying in a kid's cartoon for prolonged periods of time?

And it was then that something else suddenly hit me out of the blue. "Man, I gotta use the little pony's room." Ok, apparently even saying 'I gotta take a whizz' if off limits currently. Fuckin weird. "Anypony know where it is?"

"Two cars down on the left," Applejack answered, pointing a hoof at the door leading to the car ahead of our's. "Can't miss it."

After thanking her for the directions, I decided to keep trying to get over this weird self imposed censor going on. "Fudgity fudge. Crumpet. Gosh darn it. Poopity scoop. Dingaling." Nope, no dice.

Ignoring any weird looks I got from the other train denizens as I tried my damnedest to cuss, I eventually came past a door to my left marked with one of those black bathroom men signs. Except, you know, it was a pony instead of a person. My attempts to add color to my vocabulary once again could continue after the call of nature passed. I reached out for the door handle... only for the door to open and smash into my face.

"Ow! Mama mia!" The fuck am I, Mario? How do you go from motherfucker to that? "Watch where you're swinging the door, wiseguy."

The pony that had emerged from the bathroom and rammed the door into my face was an odd looking fellow, even by pony standards. Unlike the girls who seemed to enjoy going commando, he wore a straw hat, nifty black bow tie, and a blue and white stripped shirt. Why some ponies choose to wear clothes and the others go naked, I'll never know. His mane and tail reminded me of bacon, but maybe that was just because I miss eating meat.

"Quite sorry, friend, didn't see there." He spoke in a tone that reminded me of an auctioneer, and there was something oddly familiar about his voice, though I couldn't quite place it. He offered a hoof to help me up since the blow had knocked me on to my flank, but I could stand up on my own. "That was my mistake."

"Don't worry about it, it's fine." While I still didn't exactly enjoy being beaned in the face, the guy seemed to be genuinely sorry and it would be a dumb thing to cause a scene over. Plus I had been lost in thought over the whole cursing thing, I could have knocked first.

With a tip of his hat, the vaudeville looking pony look his leave, leaving the porcelain throne ripe for the taking. Making sure to lock the door behind me, I took a look in the bathroom mirror to make sure I hadn't been given a black eye or something due to the incident. Everything seemed to be fine, so that was nice. What wasn't nice was having to use a bathroom as a pony. It was an odd ordeal that I had to learn of a while ago. Seeing as how everypony seemed to be walking around with no genitals to speak of, this was a kid's show after all, I originally thought they just didn't need to use the bathroom. But of course I was wrong. Funny story about how I had to be taught how to use the bathroom as a pony, ya see-





My eyes were glued to the screen. Shock? Bewilderment? Disbelief? Try all of the above. I don't think my mouth had closed for a while now, it felt like my jaw was on the floor. Brycen, meanwhile, was frantically speaking into his phone.

"Just turn on The Hub, I need you to see this," he yelled to one of our friends, Robert. "I know there's no new episode today, just trust me!"

This couldn't be real. It shouldn't be. I thought it had to be some sort of weird fever dream upon first glance, but a test punch exchanged with Brycen confirmed that we were very much awake. There, clear as day on the TV, was Morgan. At least, a pony that had his voice.

I had been avoiding watching anything related to MLP ever since he went missing, I could only associate it with the incident of leaving him alone in my house to watch it. There was no way I could watch it and not feel more guilty about my hand in Morgan going missing. But as Brycen had been scrolling past the channels, just as he prepared to go to the next one after landing on The Hub, we heard Twilight say a name that floored us both. I thought we must have been hearing things, but as we continued to watch it couldn't have been wrong. She said Morgan's name.

"What do you mean it's just a rerun of Over a Barrel?" He looked up at the TV, disbelief in his eyes. "I-... really?" I couldn't quite hear what Robert was saying over the phone, but he sounded confused. Couldn't be any more confused than us, though. "Uh, nevermind then, it's nothing. Yeah, don't worry about it."

He dropped the phone on the beanbag, shaking his head. "Should I call some of the others and check if they're seeing this?"

I shook my head. If he wasn't seeing it, I doubt anyone else would either. Honestly, I still hadn't been convinced that I wasn't just simply hallucinating. Even if Brycen could see it too. "Don't bother."

The scene had settled on the Mane Six while Morgan had left to go use the bathroom. They were in a train, and before entering the bathroom Morgan had a run in with Flim, of all ponies.

"It shouldn't take too long to get Morgan to Appleloosa, so we should go ahead and map out a plan," Twilight told the others.

"What plan do we need?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Once we get him there we just take him to the portal or whatever and send him through."

"He came through during my song, so we just need to find that stage and that should do it," Pinkie added, smiling.

"What I mean is that we should prepare for anything that may go wrong," Twilight answered. "We don't know what this portal will be like, assuming it even shows up to begin with. We don't need the rest of us going through it with him."

Brycen and I just watched, not daring to look away. How the hell this was happening I couldn't begin to imagine. That pony they were talking about had Morgan's voice and they called him by his name. They were talking about sending him through a portal? He came through it when Pinkie had been singing? I could kind of get an idea of what was being implied, but it was all too ludicrous to accept.

"I just had a run in with that strange pony they're traveling with, brother of mine." The scene had suddenly switched to a different train car. Flim was speaking now, showing a mischievous expression as he addressed his mustachioed and otherwise identical brother. "He's an odd fellow, that much is certain."

Flam smirked, looking off behind his sibling as the Morgan pony exited the bathroom, returning to the car with the Mane Six. "Quite the coincidence seeing them on the same train. I do wonder where they're heading."

"And why they have that stallion with them." Flim added, rubbing his chin contemplatively. He chuckled, giving his brother a smile. "Considering the damage they did for our business, shall we follow them and see if we can return the favor?"

"You read my mind, brother of mine," Flam answered, returning the grin with a sinister smirk of their own. The two looked on ominously until...

"We'll be right back with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, right here on The Hub!"

Suddenly, there was no more show. The episode had cut to commercial, now replaced with some sort of advertisement for some slimy Play-Doh looking stuff. Whatever it was didn't matter. The suddenness of the commercial break caught us off guard, and we sat in silence as the annoying jingle played on the TV.

"Dude... what's even happening right now?" Brycen asked.

How does one even answer that? "I don't know. Truly I don't. It seems like Morgan is somehow stuck in the cartoon and they're trying to get him home, but that's ridiculous, isn't it?"

More silence. The weird goo commercial had been replaced by a commercial for some toy dog that you feed and make it shit. As crazy as it sounded, it looked like we had somehow found out what happened to Morgan. I mean, it only raises a shit ton of other questions and makes no earthly sense whatsoever, but damn it this was progress. I couldn't move from my seat. I had to see what would happen next. Thus, I was surprised when Brycen stood up and began to leave the room.

"Where are you going?"

"Kitchen," he answered. "I have no idea what the hell is happening, but we may as well have some snacks. I have a feeling this is going to be a wild ride."