Chapter Eight.
Well, Lah-Tea-Dah.
Twilight stomped her hooves on the ground. “Grrrrrr!”
Spike looked at Twilight. “Calm down, Twi’, It’s nothing big.”
Twilight took a deep breath. “Right. Nothing big,” she replies stepping through the teashop door.
The tea shop is a warm and inviting place. The walls are decorated with a fusion of Eastern pony and Canterlot artwork. Vine like plants cling to the walls and the sounds of falling water mingled with eastern pony pick instruments. The heady smell of tea and light incense wafts through the air.
Heartbreak was already on the far side of the room, front hooves leaning on the counter eyeing a wall of square drawers with small knobs on them. Xiǎomǎ style lanterns hung on either side of the counter. She seemed rather entranced with the wide selection of teas available.
“See anything that you like?” Twilight asked, looking at the small gold labels on the drawers.
Heartbreak chewed on her lower lip and eyed the different drawers. “Well, there are some names that I recognize...oolong, green tea, white tea, black tea, red tea...” She pauses. “Some of the names sound fancy but are more or less descriptions of what the tea goes through to get here.” She points at a few labels. “Golden Monkey, Temple Peaks Black, Cha Yen Thia?, Silver needles, Black Dragon Pearls-”
“They make tea out of black dragon pearls?” Spike asked.
“...No Spike, at least I don’t think they do here,” Heartbreak replies. “You see, there are different ways that tea is processed. When it is picked, how it is picked, the soil quality where the tea is grown and even the way that it is...well, rolled. For example, silver needle white tea should be made from young tea that has been rolled into slivers, while black dragon pearls, refers to the small balls that the tea has been rolled into.”
Twilight blinked. Once again, she was a little taken back by a sudden burst of knowledge that Heartbreak was showing about a topic. Granted it was a random topic that most likely suited her interests, but who was Twilight to judge about something like that? Didn’t she take her time to learn everything she possibly could about things like magic and obscure historical events? If the two of them shared so many common personality quirks, why then did she feel at odds with Heartbreak during the time she had known her?
“Could it be, that we are almost too much alike and I am seeing those things I don’t like about myself in her?” Twilight grimaced a bit. “Still, She could at least show some signs of being apologetic about her mistakes."
“So, Heartbreak, about how you were treating Rainbow Dash...”
Heartbreak didn’t look away from the wall of tea. “What do you mean?”
“Well...she was really disappointed...when you told her that-” Twilight began.
“Where are the owners of this place?” Heartbreak asked.
“They are most likely in back, Heartbreak.” Twilight said. “Now back to the issue you’re having...”
Spike was looking at the selection of teapots and other tea related paraphernalia. He picked up a small tea strainer and then a tea ball while slurping on the iced cream dream drink he had gotten. He eyed Twilight.
“What issue, Twilight?” Heartbreak asked looking back over the counter. “‘Cause, really, I don’t have issues. I have subscriptions.”
Twilight blinked. “Subscriptions?” She asked.
“Yes, Subscriptions to,‘The Heartbreak Times’, Twilight,” Heartbreak said in a quazi-sarcastic, dry-wit manner. “Where are they?” She looked around and then spied something on the counter.
Twilight finally got it. “Oh,” She chuckled. “You were telling another joke! That’s a sign of progress.Isn’t it, Spike?” She said looking over her shoulder.
“What? huh?” Spike asked. “...Yeah, it could be.”
“Right, maybe I should make a checklist of things that are signs of your progress,” Twilight said. “Spike remind me to make a checklist of things that are signs of Heartbreak’s progress towards Harmony.” The sounds of Spike sucking up the last dregs of his drink was the only response that Twilight got.
“Gee, Thanks, Twilight.” Heartbreak said flatly, looking at Twilight
Twilight looked confused. “I was joking, you know that right?”
“Yes Twilight,” Heartbreak replied. “And no offense. But it wasn’t a very good joke.”
Twilight was taken aback. “So, you’re allowed to make jokes about your problems, but I’m not allowed to?”
“They’re my problems, Twilight. I can make jokes about them,” Heartbreak said, sighing.
“Well, if that’s the case, then I won’t joke about it. You have a serious problem that I think should be addressed. I have been noticing that-” Twilight began.
“Ding-Ding! Ding-Ding!” Went the counter bell as Heartbreak’s hoof tapped on it. Twilight looked at Heartbreak, a disapproving look on her face.
“What? My hoof slipped,” She explained, attempting to look innocent.
“Sure it did,” Twilight said. “Now-”
Just then a maneless, pale yellow pony wearing a slick double breasted suit with a ruffled underskirt and matching ascot walked in from the back.
“Well hello, hello! And welcome to Lah-Tea-Dah!” he said, waving his hoof. “I am Earl Grey, owner of this fine establishment!”
=========================================================
I groan hearing the name of both of the shop owner and the shop’s name. “Seriously? Earl Grey and Lah-Tea-Dah.” I think to myself. “I knew that they were all about the ‘punny’ in Friendship is Magic, but really? Then again, I don’t ever remember a tea shop showing up on the show. Gawds. Who does this guy remind me of. Bald pony with gruff English sounding accent...geeeze, he looks like Picard. Oh, Ha-Ha. That’s just clever,” I think sarcastically to myself, mentally facepalming.
“So, I am terribly sorry but I was in the back taking inventory,” he explains walking up to the counter. I drop down from leaning over the counter. “We’ve had much success in many other places such as Manehatten, Baltimare, Trottingham, Fillydelphia and of course, Canterlot. And with so much success, we decided that it was high time to try setting up a shop here in Ponyville. It’s a touch quainter than our normal fare but still...we’ve had a steady stream of customers coming in!”
“Yay, shameless self advertisement.” I think to myself, rolling my eyes.
“That’s wonderful to hear, Mr. Grey,” Twilight says.
“Earl Grey,” He says, correcting her. “I’m an actual Earl, you know.”
Twilight laughs in a nervously. “Right, Earl Grey, we’re here to find something that will meet Heartbreak’s tastes.” Twilight leans next to the counter. “She seems to have quite a bit of knowledge of tea...”
I frown at Twilight. “Knock it off, Twilight. I know just enough to know good tea from bad tea.” I rub a hoof against my leg. “Otherwise, I just drink what is strong and tastes good with sugar...”
“Such a sad name for a modest pony!” Earl Grey replies. I have only heard this joke twice today and I am already sick of it. “I could actually hear a bit of the conversation you two were having from the back, and I say! Miss Heartbreak here knows a thing or two about teas!”
“Really?” Twilight says with a bit of perked interest.
“Oh yes. You see, I own and operate a plantation where the tea is grown, cultivated and harvested. And I can tell you, tea can be a very picky plant to grow. Why the slightest change can completely turn an exquisite tea into a horrid one!” He explains.
I sigh. If there is one thing I know about tea shop owners, or owners of any establishment that works with something that they consider refined or the like, it’s that, “I want something that will keep me awake,” is the wrong thing to say. Most likely, the owner will shoot you a snooty look. Then they will proceed to do a myriad of things. The two primary things I can think off of the top of my head right now are: They send you out of the shop, never wanting you to come back again. Or they smile sweetly, give you a tea that is of their poorest quality that is either too weak/ too strong, and charge you at a much inflated price.
“Well, I’m not sure what she likes, but I do know she wants something with lots of ca-” Twilight begins. Almost instantly my hoof juts up to her mouth and stops her before she can even finish.
“I think that I am perfectly capable of telling Earl Grey here what kind of tea I am looking for, thank-you-very-much, Twilight,” I say between my teeth. Twilight looks a bit shocked at my actions but nods. “Right then, I would like a fine tea that has a bold and strong taste but will keep me active and very much alert without making me shaky.” I look to the side and move my hoof away from Twilight’s mouth. “I’m going to be doing some writing, or drawing, or something...I am partial to Oolongs, Chai, and even Mate teas if you have them.”
“Ah yes, we definitely have a few teas of that nature.” He says sweetly.
“Good teas that will keep me coming back that are at a reasonable price, I hope. Um...this might be an odd question, but do you allow customers to sample your teas before they buy any teas?” I ask.
“That is not an odd question at all, m’dear!” Earl Grey answers. “It will however require that I call my fiance. While I, may have exceptional knowledge of teas, and tea based accessories, it is she that brings the true magic to our teas. She and her family have been growing teas for generations atop the Shangri La mountains just on the far east reaches of Equestria. Subtle Brew, my sweet cup! We have a customer who wishes to sample your wonderful blends!”