"AJ stop pacin'. Everythin's gonna be fine. Was with the two of us."
I looked back at my older brother reclining lazily on the downstairs sofa, flipping though the monthly farming magazine we'd just gotten the day before. I rolled my eyes and walked up to him.
"Come on, Big Mac, you know how dangerous births can be! With how big Ma is gettin', she could be in real danger!"
"AJ, mares give birth every day," Big Mac said, idly flipping to another page. "Ain't nothin' ta worry about."
"Easy fer you ta say when you ain't pushin' a filly out," I grumbled.
"Pa called in favors and hired some real good doctors," Big Mac said with a shrug. "Ah don't see no reason ta worry unless Ah see a reason."
"Ah still think that's a stupid way ta put things, but Ah see yer point." I took a deep breath and sat down in the hard wooden chair next to my brother. "How do ya think it's goin' up there?"
"Ma's prolly bitin' down on some stick or somethin', and Pa's holding her hoof and tellin' her it's almost over."
"Ah guess..." I looked to the stairs. "But they've been up there fer five hours!"
"Givin' birth to foals takes time, AJ." Big Mac flipped to another page. "Ma told me she was in labor with you fer eight hours." He put his magazine down and gave me one of his looks. "Don't you go worrying like you are. It's natural ta be a little scared, but you need ta relax a little bit." He pointed to the kitchen. "There's some apple pie in the fridge. You should have some. Calm yer nerves. Or do some whittlin' or somethin'. Make somethin' fer the foal."
I grunted and walked over to a nearby chest we kept in the basement. Opening it up, I took out my knife, a plastic bag, and a block of wood. I put the bag on the ground and laid down on top of it. I set the block down, steadied it with my right hoof, took the knife in my mouth, and began carving. Big Mac did have the right idea, it turned out. I had to focus on maneuvering the knife perfectly so as to make sure the design came out right, and so that I wouldn't cut myself. It took my mind off my ma upstairs trying to push out my new brother or sister.
It went on like that for about half an hour. Me chopping away at the wood making my new sibling a little pony figure. It was simple, and I could get lost in the orderliness of it. With us in the basement, I couldn't hear Ma crying, but Big Mac was surely right. The doctors were gonna take care of her. I didn't need to worry about her none.
But it was then that I heard the screech. A screech of pure agony.
I shot to my hooves, my eyes wide. I looked over to Big Mac, and even he had stood up, and I could see that he looked pretty nervous too. Something felt wrong.
"Big Mac?" I whispered after spitting the knife out. "What do ya suppose is goin' on up there?"
Big Mac looked up to the ceiling and squinted. He tilted his head and swiveled his ear towards the ceiling, and I did the same. I could hear the sound of frantic hoofsteps, even from down there.
"Somethin's wrong, Big Mac," I whispered, straightening my head. "Somethin's wrong with Ma!"
Big Mac grimaced and went back over to his couch. "Even if there is, there ain't nothin' we can do about it now. Pa'll look after her."
I growled and shook my head. "No, Ah'm goin' up there. Ah gotta know what's goin' on!"
Big Mac quickly sat up. "AJ, Pa said--"
"Ah know what he said!" I began trotting to the stairs. "Ah don't really care right now. Mah Ma's in pain, and mah new brother or sister might be hurt too!"
Ignoring the rest of Big Mac's protests, I walked up the basement stairs to the main floor, intending to find out what was wrong with my ma! Unfortunately, just as I reached the top, I heard big thundering hoofsteps coming down the stairs to the bedrooms. Before I could think of anything to do, my pa reached the bottom of the steps, a wild look in his eyes. He screeched to a halt when he saw me and he gave me one of his angry looks.
"AJ, Ah told ya ta stay downstairs until we're done!" he boomed, his very voice shaking me. "Why don't ya listen?!"
I flattened my ears and tried ta make myself as small as possible. "Ah'm sorry, Pa. Big Mac and Ah just heard a loud scream, and Ah wanted ta know if Ma was okay."
Pa grunted, but didn't stop glaring at me. "Just mind me, ya hear? Stay down in the basement until we're done. We're doin' everythin' we can fer yer ma and the foal."
"Okay," I muttered. "Ah just wanted ta make sure she was doin' fine."
Pa growled, reached out with one of his big hooves, and cuffed me on the back of the head. I yelped as my head snapped forward a little bit. I stumbled forward, keeping mah head down as best I could in case he wanted to hit me again.
"Ah'm sorry, Pa," I whimpered. "Ah just wanted ta know if Ma was okay! Th-that scream scared me 'n Big Mac. We don't want nothin' bad happenin' to her or the foal."
"Applejack..." Pa growled, but after a moment he sighed quietly and sat down next to me. I flinched when I felt his powerful forelegs wrap around me, but relaxed when I realized he was just hugging me. I smiled softly and nuzzled into his chest. "Ah'm sorry fer gettin' short with ya and hittin' you. Ah had no cause ta do so. Ah'm a mite stressed with yer ma givin' birth, is all."
"Ah know, Pa," I said quietly.
"Doesn't excuse nothin'. Punishment is fer when you do bad things, and wantin' ta make sure yer ma is safe and doin' okay ain't a bad thing. Don't you worry, though. We've got the best doctors in Ponyville up there helpin' her out." Pa pushed my head up so I could look at him, and I felt glad to see that he had his big, warm smile on his face. I liked that smile. "We think it's a filly. Haven't decided the name quite yet, but the doctors are sayin' you 'n Big Mac are probably gonna get a new little sister." Pa's eyes widened, and he got to his hooves. "Speakin' of which, Ah came down fer towels and water! Confound it, Ah gotta get that to yer ma!"
I giggled and got to my hooves too. "Ma's gonna be fine with you helpin' her out," I said. "You need any help?"
Pa shook his head. "No need, but thank ya kindly, sugarcube." Pa dashed into the kitchen, and I heard the sound of the sink turning on and a container being filled with water. Despite Pa's insistence, I went over to the closet and grabbed a couple of towels which I gave to him when he walked by, a pitcher of water balanced on his back. He tossed them on his back with a word of 'thanks' and ruffled my mane. "It's all gonna be fine, AJ. Yer ma only cried loud like that because pushin' a foal out hurts like nothin' else. She's just--"
Another loud scream tore through the house, and I saw Pa's eyes go wide. He ran up the stairs as fast as he could, water splashing out of the pitcher with every step he took.
"Pa, what's--"
"Go back to the basement, AJ!" Pa boomed. "Don't you argue with me right now!"
I knew better than to disobey when Pa had his mind fixed on stuff. I quietly walked back to the basement, cursing myself for distracting my pa like that when he needed to focus on Ma. Big Mac was right: I should have stayed in the basement. I just caused trouble and took Pa's mind off of what was important. Pretty dumb of me, if you think about it.
I reached the bottom of the steps to the basement and looked up at Big Mac, who was laying down on the couch again and staring straight at me. I sighed and sat down next to my whittling supplies.
"They think it's a filly. Pa said that Ma's doin' alright, far as he can tell."
"Pa get mad at you fer goin' up there?"
I shrugged. "A little. He cuffed me on the back of the head and snapped at me, but said he was sorry. He's just stressed, is all."
I went back to my work, but it wasn't more than a minute or so before my whole life began to fall apart. It was a quiet little thing. Not at all like you'd think. Maybe it was 'cause we were in the basement, but we didn't hear no noise at all. I whittled, and Big Mac started on a book he'd brought down. That was what we were doing when I heard hoofsteps on the stairs coming down to the basement. Definitely too quiet to be Pa's though. Big Mac and Ah both stood up and looked at the stairs just in time to see a pony in a doctor's coat coming down. We both quickly stood up, because we knew that something had happened.
My heart sank when he raised his head, and I saw that look in his eye. The one that says you're sorry, but you don't rightly know how to put it into words. It was almost... strange when he started talking. I didn't quite register everything that he said, but I picked up something about how my ma had delivered the foal, but there had been some complications. She had started bleeding too much, and they couldn't save her, or something. I couldn't really register it that well.
"So..." I cleared my throat. "Mah ma is dead?"
The doctor sympathetically nodded. "I'm sorry, Miss Applejack, but I'm afraid so. Your new sister is in good health, though."
"Okay."
Seems silly that my ma had just died and that's all I could think of to say. Okay. I felt like I should have said something a little bit more than that.
"Your father is with your mother now," the doctor continued. "You can go see your sister. She's sleeping at the moment." The doctor manged a tiny smile. "She is very beautiful."
"Okay," I said again. I looked over to Big Mac, and we both nodded. The doctor turned to go back up the stairs, and we followed him, not saying a word.
He led us up the stairs to the upper part of our house where all of the rooms were. The first door that I saw when I reached the top of the steps was the one that I knew to be Ma and Pa's room. They were in there now. Pa was probably staring at Ma's lifeless body, not sure what to do for the first time in his life. I thought at that moment that I didn't wanna see Pa like that. I looked up to him more than anypony, and if he felt helpless, then there wasn't any hope for me to know what to do.
Sure enough, as we walked past the door to my parents' room, I heard the sounds of quiet sobs coming from inside. Definitely from Pa. I flattened my ears to block out the noise. I didn't wanna hear Pa like that. He was gonna be strong for us through this like he always was. My pa got stressed sometimes and that made him a little irritable, but he never cried! I'd never heard that.
"Miss Applejack?"
The voice snapped me outta my thoughts and made me realize that I'd stopped and was staring back at the door. I looked back to the doc, who pointed into an open room two doors down: the foal's room. I nodded and quickly trotted inside.
Big Mac already stood over the large crib inside the room, and even though life was upside-down and Pa was crying, I saw Big Mac smiling. I trotted over to the crib and looked down inside for the first look at my new baby sister.
The doc was right: she was beautiful. Most beautiful foal I've ever seen.
She had a nice yellow coat, and a bright red mane and tail. I thought that her hair looked kinda like yarn a little bit, which just made her even cuter. She slept under a bright green baby blanket that my ma had made for her when she was pregnant, because she knew that the baby would be born in wintertime, and she wanted her to be warm. I reached down and gently patted her sleeping head, managing a smile at the sight of her tiny barrel rising and falling with each small breath. I looked over to the doctor, who was smiling himself.
"Did she get a name?"
The doctor nodded. "Yes. Those were your mother's last words, actually. She said, 'her name is Apple Bloom.'"
"Apple Bloom." I looked back down to my sister. "Little Apple Bloom."
Ah continued looking down at her, Big Mac at my side. Neither of us wanted that time to end. If it did, reality would come back.
* * * *
We both stayed the night in Apple Bloom's room. She slept pretty soundly. Didn't wake up even once. Since it was winter, we didn't have to get up really early to start working on the farm. After the night we had, I was happy to sleep in. We needed it. Needed to forget for just a little while.
I woke up first. I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see that a nice blizzard had started. I stood up and walked over to look outside. Yup, we weren't going outside that day. I couldn't see very far, and the snow was as deep as I'd ever seen it. I'd need to get a fire going soon to heat up the house. I walked to Apple Bloom's crib and looked down. I smiled when I saw her tiny chest rise and fall. She shifted a little, and Ah started wondering what she was dreaming about. Hopefully good things.
I quietly sighed and walked outta the room, stepping past a sleeping Big Mac. We'd have to talk about what to do next once he woke up and had his morning coffee. Meanwhile, I had ta start that fire. I shivered a little from the cold as I walked outta the room. I couldn't wait to get it going. But then I stopped. I stopped right in front of my parents' room. Figured Pa was still in there; didn't know about Ma. I wanted to check on him to make sure that... well, he couldn't be okay, for sure, but see how I could help him out. He was my pa, and I loved helping him more than anything, and he'd need it now. I walked up to the door and gently pushed it open.
Pa was sitting on the floor right next to the bed, looking out the window at the snow. My heart started hurting when I saw that the bed sheets had all been taken off. Guess Ma had bled too much over them. Really made me realize that she was gone. I looked back to Pa, who didn't seem to notice that I'd come in.
"Pa?" He didn't move. "Ah'm gonna start a fire. Get the house warmed up, okay?"
"So do it then," he responded with no emotion.
I flattened my ears and lowered my head. "Okay. Is there anythin' you need right now?"
He muttered something I couldn't quite hear, but it sounded like he said 'mah wife back.' Instead of repeating himself, he sighed and shook his head. "No."
"Alright, then." I went to leave, but stopped. "Apple Bloom's probably gonna be hungry when she wakes up. Where did ya put her bottles and whatnot?"
Pa's ear twitched at Apple Bloom's name, and he didn't talk for a moment. Eventually he sighed and leaned his head against the window. "Don't have no bottles."
I frowned and tilted my head. "Sure we do, Pa. Ma bought a few of 'em when she was preparin' for Apple Bloom."
Pa shook his head. "They took yer ma away last night. Not long after you 'n Big Mac went ta see Apple Bloom. Put her in a cart and took her to the morgue. Told me Ah'd have ta come into town tomorrow ta fill out some paperwork. Gave me their condolences." Pa took a deep breath and ran his hoof down the side of his head. "Ah got real angry when they left. Just at life, Ah guess. Life, Apple Bloom, you..." I flinched back at that. "If you hadn't distracted me when Ah was gettin' the water and towels, maybe Ah could have helped more." My jaw wobbled, and I let out a little whimper at that, but Pa kept right on going. "So Ah went ta where we were storin' all of the foal's stuff, and just destroyed it all. That thing took mah wife away, and here Ah am supposed ta raise it."
"Pa..."
"Ah knew yer ma since the two of us were nine years old." Pa thunked his head against the window. "Thirty five years. Now some foal comes along and takes her away from me, and Ah gotta..." Pa hit the window with his head again. "Just don't make sense. Doesn't seem fair. She was mah wife before she was yer buckin' mother, AJ. We were married two years before she got pregnant with Big Mac. That's all we got: two years with each other just as husband and wife before a foal came along and we had ta focus less and less on each other and more and more on our foals. Then the third one comes along and takes her from me completely." For the first time, Pa turned his head to look at me, and I saw that, like me, he was crying. "Ah love you 'n Big Mac, AJ, but Ah just..." His face hardened. "Ah just wish that y'all had given me some more Celestia damned time with mah wife!"
I sniffled and wiped my eyes. "'M sorry, Pa," I whispered.
"Not yer fault. Nothin' you did wrong. Just life." Pa shrugged and turned back to the window. "Ah still don't wanna see yer new sister for a while. You two can take care of her, Ah'm sure. You'll think of some way ta get her fed until the blizzard lets up and y'all can go to the market and get bottles and formula."
"So then what am Ah gonna feed Apple Bloom?!" I cried. "She can't have anythin' solid yet, and we can't go out in this blizzard!"
Pa shrugged. "Ah'm sure you'll think of somethin.'"
I just stared at him for a minute. Apple Bloom wasn't even eighteen hours old yet, and already Pa was trying to starve her to death! I eventually figured out that he wasn't gonna say anything else, so I shut the door and went downstairs to make a fire. I opened up the furnace and tossed a few logs in before dousing it with lighter fluid and lighting a match. Despite how afraid I was, the warmth of the fire made me smile. It was just a little thing I could enjoy for a moment.
But only for a moment.
My ear twitched when I heard a strange noise, but I shot to my hooves when I realized just what it was: crying. Apple Bloom had woken up. I bolted up the stairs and into AB's room, where Big Mac already stood over her crib, stroking her mane and trying to keep her quiet. He looked back to me when he heard me come in and grimaced.
"Ah think she's hungry."
I nodded. "Yeah, and..." I sighed. "Pa destroyed her bottles and threw away the cans of formula. He got upset last night after they took Ma away."
Big Mac's eyes widened, and he turned to face me. "What?! So what are we gonna feed her?! We can't just give her apple slices."
"Ah don't know!" I snapped. "Ah just..." I groaned and walked over to the crib, where I picked Apple Bloom up and sat down with her. "Go get some breakfast goin'. Ah'll try ta calm her down."
Big Mac nodded and walked out of the room, leaving me with my crying sister.
"Shh, it's okay," I cooed, stroking her back. "Just calm down now. Me and yer brother are gonna figure out somethin' for you ta eat, alright?" I held her close to my chest and hugged her tight. "Just you relax now. Nothin' bad's gonna happen."
And just like that, she stopped crying. She made a few foal noises, and nuzzled up against my chest, causing me to smile. "There ya go. It's all--"
I stopped talking when I felt her latch on to my chest. My eyes widened, and I pulled her away from my chest. "Apple Bloom! Don't do that! Ah know yer hungry, but we'll think of somethin' for you, okay?"
Apple Bloom whimpered and reached out with her tiny hooves to my chest. She let out a single cry, and I began to figure that she'd get going again unless she got something to eat soon.
"Now Apple Bloom..." I took a deep breath. "Ah know yer hungry, and... and this is just instinct for ya. But we'll figure out somethin' for ya. Ah know we don't have anythin', but..."
Apple Bloom began quietly crying again, and continued reaching out to my chest. I gulped and began shaking. "A-Apple Bloom. We can't, okay? Ain't nothin' for it, a-alright? Just..."
Her crying began to grow louder, and my shivering more violent. Still, I realized that she was hungry. She hadn't eaten in her life, and we didn't have anything to give her. Anything at all until the blizzard let up. I took a deep, shaky breath, put Apple Bloom down, and laid on my side.
* * * *
I shakily walked into the kitchen, where Big Mac was cooking up some pancakes. He must have heard me come in, because he turned around. "Didja get Apple Bloom ta--" His eyes widened when he saw what a mess I was. My eyes were red from crying through the whole thing, and my ears were pinned against my head. I sniffled and wiped my eyes before walking over to the table, sitting at my chair, and laying my head down.