Oh Discord

by AshleyDuMuffin


Oh Discord

The day started like any other day would. The moon going down, the sun coming up, Luna and Celestia you know how it goes. And well everything in Ponyville and even the rest of Equestria was about as normal as it ever could be.

“Excuse me” A voice out of nowhere said clearing their throat as they did so.

Who said that, I’m narrating here there’s no pony even in this story yet.

“That’s the problem, I’m sure the reader has better things to do than read this pointless guff. I believe there is a story you’re trying to tell.” Out of nowhere a long slender body covered the landscape of Ponyville.

Oh Discord, can’t you wait until you’re actually in this story.

“I’d love to but if you’re going to waste everyones, oh sorry everyPONY'S time then I might as well make it more interesting.” Said the draconequus in a very sarcastic tone.

“Also do you need to tell everyPONY the way I speak?”

Well yes there are only words, they can’t hear you.

“Well they could use their imagination.” He said smugly.

Hey I don’t make the rules I just follow them. Now get out of here I like having a 4th wall.

“Oh fine but this won’t be the last you see of me.” Said as he faded away a slight menacing laugh to follow.

Now that that’s over lets get back to are story.
The warm sun beamed in through the small window as a ray of light made its way onto Fluttershys face. Her eyes very slowly opened as if she was being incredibly careful not to break something, somehow. A small delicate squeak the only sound made as she got out of bed and stretched, flexing her front and back legs followed by her wings.

“What a lovely morning.” She said at a volume that was almost inaudible. She started her morning as she did everyday, making sure all her animals were happy and fed before even thinking about herself.

“Yes yes we get it everything is normal I think you made that perfectly clear.” A very annoyed sounding voice began.

Discord please I’m trying to narrate, can’t you go interrupt some other story.

“I only want what every other pony want’s from this story.” The draconequus poofed into the room as the rest of the world froze.

“You know the hot steamy sex stuff.” He said his long slender tongue licking his lips as he eyed the pegasus.

I don’t know what story you've been looking at but there’s nothing like that in this story.

“Really, oh well I guess the hundreds of other sex storys with the two of us will have to do.” He said chuckling.

Please Discord I beg of you let me tell this story, I got other stuff to do today.

“Well I already told you get the story going and I won't have to interrupt as there will be things happening.” the draconequus poofed away again.
Ok ok fine let’s just skip all the set up then and start this.

There was a sudden knock on the door, this made the timid pegasus jump slightly and after a breath moment she was able to answer the door. As she opened the door there was… there was nothing.

“Is this some kind of joke that some pony is playing?” she said to herself.

“Pinkie Pie are you out there?” she called.

Discord, I know you can hear me. This is the part of the story you’re in. Where are you.

“Oh you really need to make up your mind, first you didn't want me but now you do.” He grinned as he spoke.

But stuff was happening, the story was just about to get going. This is the part you’re in, that’s what you wanted.

“Just about to get going, you do know this is already 655 words in. That sounds like pretty bad pacing if you ask me.” He said as pages of paper with words on appeared in a bowl in his hand.

Don’t you eat that, that’s the story. If you eat it this whole thing will cease to exist.

“Oh you’re no fun.” He said sighing as he snapped his fingers, making the bowl disappear.

This wasn't meant to be fun, it was going to be a nice little love story between you and fluttershy.

“Slow down I think you need to warn ponys about spoilers like that.” As he spoke a stop sign poofing into his hand.

Oh my god why are you doing this to me.

“Can I ask how come when you speak there aren't any speech marks?” He asked sounding quite puzzled.

Because I’m narrating, I’m meant to be telling the story not interacting with other characters.

“Well you’re not doing a very good job then are you.”

You know what I’m done with this, I’m shutting this down for a while.

“So you going to drag this out longer, fine I’m not a writer I guess I just don’t understand your writing style.” He said disappearing.

Is that it, is he gone. Ok i’ll be back in a bit with something to help with this problem.

2 hours later
Ok I think I've fixed it for good now let’s just get this done with.
Morning time, Fluttershy waking up, something about her doing something cute and feeding her animals. Then the knock on the door. Ok back up to speed lets go. As Fluttershy opened the door there was a very happy looking draconequus.

“Discord It’s so nice to see you again.” She said very happily.

“You look really happy, have you been chaosing?” she asked sounding a little concerned.

“Well I have been messing with this one guy for a while. But nothing evil. I would never.” He said with an innocent smile as a halo appeared over his head.

“So what brings you to Ponyville?” She asked.

“Well.” One of his eyes leaving its socket to get a better view of her flank.

“Just to say hi to my favorite pony.” His eye returning to his face, Fluttershy not seeming to notice.

“Oh you’re to kind.” Her face turning a little red with a faint blush.

“Please come in.” Her left front hoof pointing inside her cottage.

“I’d love to cum in Fluttershy.” A smirk on his face as he went into Fluttershys home.

Oh my god Discord this is not that kind of story. How are you even doing this I fixed the 4th wall.

“Whatever the FlimFlam brothers sold you actually seemed to work, so I enlisted some help.” His lion paw pointing to the side as the world froze again.

“Hi I’m Pinkie Pie.” A pink pony with a large grin stated as she hopped over to discord.

I know who you are Pinkie.

“Really, I don’t know you that must mean you’re new and if you’re that means you don’t know anypony and if you don’t know anypony then you must not have any friends and that must be really sad and Discord told me if I break the 4th wally thingy for him then I’d get to meet a new friend so I jumped on the opportunity but I think I’m getting sidetracked so what you doing.” The pink pony bounced as she spoke with a never ending amount of breath.

I’m trying to narrate a story about Fluttershy and Discord.

“Don’t you think this website has enough of that story?” She questioned.

What website what are you even talking about I’m Just trying to read.

“I told you he was no fun.” Discord said rolling his eyes.

Hey Pinkie guess what.

“What what oh I love guessing games is it a snow globe, a table, oh oh bubble wrap I like bubble wrap, maybe a toaster or…” The pink pony speaking as fast as possible.

No no there giving out free cake at Sugarcube corner.

“Oh my god oh my oh my god I got to go.” And just like that in a puff of smoke she was gone.

“So we going to start this story now or what?” the draconequus questioned looking over at the frozen in time Fluttershy.

Nope I’m done, you’re not getting your happy ending from this story.

“You’re just going to go and leave the readers with nothing, wow that is rude.” He huffed sounding disappointed.

I don’t care I’m done, how is anyone supposed to put up with this.

“The narrator shot out of his chair and stomped off… Just doing your job since you stormed out. My apologies for his inability to tell a good story. Bye everypony.