//------------------------------// // Fluttershy/Rain // Story: The Adventures of Spectrum Slash // by CCC //------------------------------// "This place looks a lot like Awesomeville." said Spectrum Slash, as Rainbow led her through the streets of Ponyville. "Except more crowded and less awesome." "Yeah, well, this is Ponyville." said Rainbow Dash. "A lot of the stuff in Awesomeville was kinda based on it." "That is not right." said Spectrum Slash. "Almost all of the stuff in Awesomeville was designed by me, because I am just that awesome. And the rest was inspired by me. No-one in Awesomeville has ever heard of Ponyville, so it can't be based on Ponyville." "Uh... right." said Dash, nervously. "That means that you just told me a lie." continued Spectrum Slash. "Only evil people tell lies. Are you evil?" "No!" Spectrum frowned. "That doesn't make any sen-" "Fluttershy!" said Rainbow Dash, quickly. "Let's go visit Fluttershy!" "Is Fluttershy your universe's version of Yellowshy?" asked Spectrum Slash, as Rainbow Dash pushed her along. ~~~~~ Rainbow knocked on Fluttershy's door. "Flutters?" she called out. There was a long moment of silence, then Fluttershy opened the door a crack. "Oh, hi, Rainbow." She opened the door a little further, revealing a rainbow-maned rainbow-coated pony standing at one end of a rainbow that extended all the way back to Twilight's tree/castle/library. "Eeeep!" "Ah!" said the stranger. "It is as I thought. You are this universe's version of Yellowshy!" "Um?" asked Fluttershy, nervously. "Fluttershy," said Rainbow Dash, "meet Spectrum Slash. Yes, that Spectrum Slash, Discord was involved. Spectrum Slash, meet my friend Fluttershy." "Hello, Fluttershy." said Spectrum Slash, raising one hoof politely. "H-hello?" said Fluttershy, hesitantly. "You have no reason to be afraid of me, unless you are evil." said Spectrum Slash. "I only hurt things that are evil, and even then only if they really really deserve it, or if they hurt my friends. So you can stop being scared, unless you are evil." "Um... thank you?" "Are you still scared?" asked Spectrum Slash. "Um, a little..." "Does that mean that you are evil?" asked Spectrum Slash. "I just told you that there was no reason to be afraid unless you were evil. If you are still afraid, then you must be evil!" "She's not evil!" cried Rainbow Dash. "Hmmm. It will be easy to make sure." Spectrum Slash glared at Fluttershy. "Are you evil?" "No?" "Oh, that is alright then." said Spectrum Slash. "No villain can ever even possibly lie about being evil." "Um... would you like some tea?" asked Fluttershy. ~~~~~ "We have changed all the water for chocolate in time!" cheered Celestia. "In time?" asked Discord. "In time for what?" "It is all ready before Spectrum Slash comes to make the rainclouds, Good Discord!" replied Celestia. "...wait, all of them?" asked Discord. "Oh, yes." said Celestia. "Spectrum Slash always arrives at the very last minute and makes every cloud that all of Equestria needs for all the rain! She's never been even a millisecond late, even if she naps and oversleeps, because she's just that awesome!" There was a long silence. "Are you telling me," said Discord eventually, "that there's not another single pegasus in all of Equestria that can handle the weather?" "The rest of the pegasuses all forgot." said Celestia. "They didn't need to know, anyway, because Spectrum Slash does all the weather all over Equestria!" There was another long silence. "Hasn't it been rather dry lately?" asked Discord, eventually. "Yes, it has, a little." agreed Celestia. "But Spectrum Slash also makes all the weather schedules, so I'm sure she has good reason for a bit of a dry spot." "Have you looked at the weather schedules lately?" asked Discord. "No." said Celestia, cheerfully. "Spectrum Slash is the only one who needs to know that sort of thing." ~~~~~ "...and then I hit him so hard," said Spectrum Slash, "that all the magic that he'd stolen was knocked right out of him, and went back into all the ponies he'd stolen it from." "Oh, my." said Fluttershy. "That sounds scary." "My magic's too awesome to be stolen, anyway." said Spectrum. "I was never in any danger." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah." she said. Fluttershy lifted her teacup and took a sip of tea. "What did you just do?" asked Spectrum Slash. "I... had some tea?" "Oh, is that the stuff you put in these little cups?" asked Spectrum Slash. "I was wondering. In my world, when we have 'tea', we just sit around a table and talk about how awesome I am." "Um, well, we actually have... tea." said Fluttershy, nervously. "Are you telling me," asked Rainbow Dash, "that in all the hundreds to tea parties you've had with Yellowshy, you've never once tried tea?" "I've never even seen this tea." said Spectrum Slash, peering into her cup. "We sometimes put the cups out, so that they can be knocked to the floor when the villain arrives, but sometimes we don't even bother." "Villain?" squeaked Fluttershy. "Oh, yes." said Spectrum Slash. "Every time we have a tea party in Awesomeville, a villain arrives and threatens all of Equestria. That's how we know when the tea party is over!" Fluttershy squeaked. "There was one time," continued Spectrum Slash cheerfully, "when we had a tea party that lasted a whole four days, because there weren't any villain attacks! And of course, we couldn't leave the table before it was over, because that would be impolite. Fortunately, there was a plate of biscuits on the table, so Yellowshy could eat them while we talked about how awesome I am." Fluttershy squeaked again. "What - what did you eat?" she asked. "Oh, I didn't have to eat anything." said Spectrum Slash. "I am just that awesome. Of course, I had to have a big meal after I defeated the manticore army, because proper nutrition is important." "Manticore army?" squeaked Fluttershy. "Oh, yes. They were being possessed by King Sombra. I had to punch little bits of him out of all the manticores, and then I had to punch him." "Well, tea parties here end when we decide they end." said Rainbow Dash. "We don't need to wait for a villain attack." "And you still haven't tasted your tea." added Fluttershy. "That seems like a very unreliable way to end a tea party." said Spectrum Slash. "What if you spend so much time talking about how awesome I am that you never stop? You could die of starving." She raised her teacup and took a sip. "This tea is amazing!" "Why, thank you -" "It is like water, but it has flavour!" said Spectrum Slash. "Are you trying to poison me?" "...what?" asked Fluttershy. "I said, are you trying to poison me?" "Um, no?" "Oh, good. Then please be careful, somepony has poisoned this tea. I'll survive, because I'm just that awesome, but you might not. So don't drink the tea." "How do you know it's been poisoned?" asked Rainbow Dash. "Because the only things that have any taste at all are poisons." said Spectrum Slash, rolling her eyes. "Everything that's not poisonous is flavourless. Everypony knows that."