//------------------------------// // Twilight/Chocolate // Story: The Adventures of Spectrum Slash // by CCC //------------------------------// Twilight was the first to speak. "This is not scientifically possible!" she insisted. "You are not scientifically possible!" "What?" asked Spectrum Slash. "You can't create an entire physical universe just by thinking about it!" insisted Twilight. "Physical universes are complicated things! And there's no way that mere ink on paper is enough to create a new universe! It's just not scientifically possible!" Spectrum Slash sniffed. "Maybe this world doesn't exist," she said, "but my world's been around for centuries." "And the odds against Rainbow Dash just coincidentally tapping into a pre-existing universe are astronomical!" continued Twilight. "I mean, this story is - is thousands of pages. That's a pretty vast amount of information, and the odds of a randomly selected universe meeting all those constraints are - you can't just create a universe when you write a story!" She spun around and pointeda hoof at Spectrum Slash. "You can't possibly exist! Protagonists from fictional stories don't exist!" "Really?" asked Discord's voice from atop one of the library bookshelves. He was fanning himself with something that, at first glance, appeared to be about the size and shape of a small book; though it was a solid object, with no sign of pages. Perhaps some kind of casing, in which a very small book could potentially fit. Twilight caught a glimpse of the front cover; apparently it was called "Rainbow Rocks". "And you!" snapped Twilight. "Weren't you going to talk to Celestia or something?" "Oh, don't mind me." said Discord. He vanished his book-thing and conjured a lampshade out of nowhere. "I'm just here to hang this somewhere." He placed the lampshade jauntily on the edge of the bookcase, and vanished again. "Are you evil?" asked Spectrum Slash. "Because if you're evil and you don't turn good then I'm going to have to hit you." "What? No! I'm not evil! Why would you think I'm evil?" "You look like you're working with Discord." said Spectrum, stepping forward and eyeing Twilight. "He's reformed." snapped Twilight. "Re-what?" asked Spectrum. "Trying to be good." supplied Rainbow Dash. "Not always successfully." added Twilight. "Oh." said Spectrum Slash. "Are you sure you're good?" "Yes, I'm sure!" snapped Twilight. "Oh, good. Because I thought that maybe you were an evil twin of Princess Purple." Twilight glared at Spectrum Slash for a moment and then turned to look at Rainbow Dash. "Princess Purple?" she asked. Rainbow shrugged. "Hey, so I'm bad with names." she said. "You know Princess Purple?" asked Spectrum Slash. "Great, can you send her a message? She's awesomly smart, she'll figure out how to get me home in ten seconds flat!" "Um, I'm not sure that's actually possible..." began Rainbow Dash. "Oh, okay, I'm sure she'll notice I'm missing within a year or two." said Spectrum, brightly. "So, what's the deal with this place, anyway? Is this some sort of bizarre alternate universe filled with bizarre reflections of my friends or something?" "Um... it's clearly something..." said Rainbow, nervously. "Right, 'cos she's clearly the alternate version of Princess Purple, only not as smart, but I can't work out who you're supposed to be." "NOT AS SMART!?!" screeched Twilight. "Nopony's as smart as Princess Purple." insists Spectrum Slash. "Also, she never loses her temper." "Maaaaaaaaybe we oughta just step outside for a few minutes." suggested Rainbow. "Just until she's calmed down a touch, okay?" "Does your world have poisonous air?" asked Spectrum Slash. "I'm awesome enough to survive it, of course, but I do like to be prepared." "No, no, no poisonous air." reassured Rainbow Dash. "Tell you what, I'll introduce you to the rest of my friends, okay?" "Hmph. If I'm going to be stuck here, I guess it's as good a way as any to pass the time." said Spectrum Slash. ~~~~~ "Discord!" cried Celestia. "What are you doing here?" "Oh, I just thought we could spend a few minutes talking about the benefits of chocolate rain." said Discord. "But chocolate rain has no benefits!" objected Celestia. She was so scared that her wings froze to her sides, and she fell over! "I am scared!" said Celestia. "Also, you are evil, and so I will not listen to you!" Discord sighed. "Fine." he said. "I'll stop being evil and be good, okay?" "Oh, yay!" said Celestia, bounding to her hooves. "Now I am not scared of you anymore!" "Wonderful." said Discord, rolling his eyes. "Now, let's talk about the benefits of chocolate rain, shall we?" "But chocolate rain has no benefits!" objected Celestia. "It tastes better than ordinary rain." replied Discord. Celestia gasped. "You are right, Good Discord!" she said. "I had never thought of that before. We should have chocolate rain in the future!" "Well," said Discord, raising his eagle talon to snap, "if you insis-" "I shall instruct the pegasus weather teams to replace all their water with chocolate as once!" said Celestia. "And we shall have to heat it up until it is all melted, of course. But it will all be worth it, because it will taste better than ordinary rain!" Discord stared, wide-eyed, at Celestia.