//------------------------------//
// Chapter 2 
// Story: The Adventures of Cyborg Braeburn 
// by totallynotabrony 
//------------------------------//

	A pink pony came bouncing down the stairs and leaped over to where Braeburn was lying strapped to the table.
“Good morning!” she exclaimed.  She was much, much happier than he.
“Where am I?” Braeburn managed to croak.  He had a tremendous headache and various other pains throughout his body.
“You’re in the basement of Sugarcube Corner, the best bakery in Ponyville!  Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie.  I helped with your operation, so I guess that makes me a nurse.  Oh!  A synonym for nurse is candy-striper!  That’s totally cool, because I actually stripe candy, too!”
“What did I do to deserve this?” muttered Braeburn, mostly to himself.
“Oh, Valiant had some crazy plan.  He said he felt a little guilty about what happened to you, so he decided to make it all better.  Would you like something to eat?”  Pinkie produced a tray of fresh cupcakes, seemingly from nowhere.
Despite his misery, Braeburn thought that that sounded excellent.  “Sure, I’d love one.”
“Now be careful,” cautioned Pinkie as she held a cupcake up to his open mouth.  “We meant to fix that big hole in the side of your face last night, but you know how time flies when you’re doing groundbreaking surgery.”
Braeburn took a small bite, chewing carefully.  It was not the best thing he had ever tasted, but at the moment, it was heavenly.  He felt like a traitor to his applebucking cutie mark, but if cupcakes grew on trees, he would have taken that job in a heartbeat.
The door slammed open and Valiant came in.  “We’ve got to hurry, I think Mr. and Mrs. Cake are beginning to suspect something.”
“Oh, silly,” said Pinkie.  “They never come down here.”
Valiant shrugged.  “Anyway, I’ve got the rest of the ensemble.”  He showed Pinkie a concave piece of metal with several pieces of hardware stuck to it.  Braeburn had no idea what any of the equipment was, and began to feel nervous again.
“With the screw anchors and the electronic nerve interfaces already installed, this should be easy,” said Valiant.  “Get the tweezers, Pinkie.”
Working together, the two of them began stringing thin wires to electronics mounted on the piece of metal.  When everything was attached, Valiant turned to Braeburn.
“Hold still.  I mean, like, pretend-you’re-a-rock still.  We can’t have any mistakes here.”  To Braeburn’s horror, the two ponies began plugging the wires into the damaged side of his head.  His other eye rolled frantically, but he couldn’t see what they were doing.  Despite his dread, he decided to lie motionless in order to prevent any further harm from coming to him.
“All right, that looks good,” said Valiant.  “Get the battery, Pinkie.  Let’s see if everything works.”
The pink mare grabbed something small and silvery.  It looked like no power source Braeburn had ever seen before.  She slipped it inside the metal device, amid the nest of wires.
“All right, this might give you a little shock,” said Valiant.  He fiddled with something.
Braeburn had been expecting an electrical shock.  He got one, but that wasn’t what surprised him.  Suddenly, he could see!  He had no idea where the view was coming from, but it seemed to be connected to the piece of metal Valiant was holding.
Braeburn saw the stallion examine the device closely.  “Seems to be working,” he said.  He grinned.  “What happens if I do this?”  He tilted the device quickly, making Braeburn’s vision flash around the room like crazy.
Braeburn shut his eye, but to his surprise, the vision kept going.  It seemed that he couldn’t turn off whatever device was feeding him images.
“Sorry about that,” said Valiant.  “Just screwing with you.”  He and Pinkie lowered the piece of metal until it touched the ruined half of Braeburn’s skull.  They put in a few fasteners to hold it in place.  Valiant tapped the metal with a hoof.  It made a hollow sound.
Wait, he could hear from that side now, too?  Braeburn concentrated, and sure enough he could make out sounds from that direction.
“Rarity ain’t got shit on me,” said Valiant, grinning.  “How’s that for a makeover?  All right, time to get you up.”  He loosened the strap holding down Braeburn’s head and moved down his body to undo the rest of the restraints.
Braeburn sat up slowly.  Somehow, he had gained sight and sound.  He was overjoyed.  Then he looked down and let out a blood curdling scream.
The three missing legs had been replaced with shiny metal and strange machinery.  The parts appeared to begin where his sumps ended.  He thrashed wildly, and ended up on the floor, his limbs flailing.
“Calm down!” shouted Valiant.  “Do you have any idea how dangerous that stuff is?”  He jumped on top of Braeburn, wrapping a foreleg across his throat.  The sudden loss of air only caused the apple farmer to struggle harder, but only as long as his breath lasted.
Valiant let him up before he blacked out.  “Now to you promise to behave?”
“Guh…wha…what did you do to me?” Braeburn wheezed.
“I fixed you.”
“With machinery?!”
Valiant shrugged.  “And what other way would you have preferred?  Stem cell research is unheard of in Equestria.”
Braeburn sat up from the floor, staring at his forelegs.  One was natural and organic.  The other was steel, attached to him freakishly.  His hind legs were also mechanical.
“How does it all work?” he asked.
“I have no idea,” said Valiant.
“But…you did it!”
“No, I installed it.  The electronics, the battery power source, and the hardware all came from a time traveling robot that I defeated and then reverse-engineered.”
“Really?” said Pinkie.  “How come I’ve never heard this story before?”
“Uh…blame it on Discord,” said Valiant.  That seemed to appease Pinkie.
“So where do I go from here?” asked Braeburn, forlornly.
“Let’s get you on your, um, feet,” said Valiant.  He helped Braeburn to stand.  The metal hooves clanked sharply on the floor.
“All right, walk to the end of the room and come back,” ordered Valiant.  Braeburn took a few tentative steps.  It felt like the new legs weren’t quite the right length, and his gait was completely unnatural.  However, he did manage to stumble over to the wall.
Braeburn glanced to the side as he steadied himself for the return trip.  There was an old mirror resting forgotten in one corner of the basement.  His reflection was horrifying.
Half his head had been capped with steel.  The new ear was a cup-shaped piece of sheet metal with electronics inside.  The new eye was made of glass and glowed a dull red from within.  It contrasted terribly with the green iris of his other eye.
Braeburn’s knees started to shake, even the metallic ones.  He collapsed to the floor, eyes wide and terrified.  Once again, he was only able to close the one eye.  The electronic replacement remained open, preventing Braeburn from escaping the horrors in front of him.
Valiant facehoofed.  “Jesus Christ, what a pansy.”

It took a lot of convincing and several more cupcakes, but Pinkie and Valiant got Braeburn up and walking again.  He seemed to be getting better.
“I really should be getting to work,” said Pinkie.  “The Cakes are probably wondering what we’re doing down here.”
“Keep them distracted, and we’ll make our escape,” said Valiant.  Pinkie mounted the stairs and could be heard telling Mr. and Mrs. Cake something about a fire in the kitchen.
“All right, if you can make the steps, you can do anything,” said Valiant.
Somewhat more confident in his prosthetics, Braeburn managed to make his way up to ground level.  The inside of the bakery was decorated with wild colors and everything looked like food.  Valiant led him outside.
The street was deserted.  “They’re probably all over at the farm getting cider,” said Valiant.  “Why don’t we head over there?”
Braeburn’s strides were getting smoother, although he still clanked with every step.  Valiant appeared to be watching his progress appreciatively.
“Tell me,” said Braeburn.  “Just how did you get into the business of turning ponies into freaks?”
Valiant shrugged off the insult like he hadn’t heard it.  “I’ve got a couple of theories.”
“Let’s hear them.”
“All right.  One, I’m actually a creature called a human who was somehow transported to your dimension and turned into a pony.  Two, I’m actually a creature called a human who is in the middle of a weird dream, and you’re all figments of my imagination.  Three, I’m just a pony who is completely insane and thinks he’s human.”
“I don’t like any of those theories,” said Braeburn.
“Tough.”  They kept walking.
As expected, there was a large crowd at Sweet Apple Acres.  A strange machine was parked near the cider stand, and two well-groomed unicorn showponies appeared to be getting it ready.  The Apple family was nearby, setting up their cider-making equipment.
The Mayor of Ponyville seemed to be organizing the event.  She spoke to the crowd.  “The teams have one hour to produce as much cider as they can, after which the barrels will be counted, and the winner will be named the sole cider provider for all of Ponyville!  The teams are the Flim Flam Brothers, and the Apple Family!”
Sole cider provider?  That can’t be good, thought Braeburn.  None of his family had mentioned what a serious competition this was when they were talking the day before.
“So this is open to any member of the Apple family?” asked Valiant.
“That’s right,” said one of the showponies.  He and his brother both seemed very confident that they would be the winners.
“Cool,” said Valiant.  “Hey Braeburn, come over here!”
A startled gasp came from the crowd as all eyes swung to Braeburn.  He walked slowly over to where Valiant was standing.  His footsteps clanked, and his unblinking electronic eye seemed to bore into the soul of anypony who looked at it.
The whole crowd screamed and ran in all directions.
“Uh, Flim?” said one of the showponies.
“Yes Flam?” replied his brother.
“I don’t want to have a competition against the Apple family anymore.”  The two of them quickly packed up their machine and zoomed away.
“Braeburn, what in tarnation happened to you?” said Applejack.  “And where have you been?”
“Dr. Valiant got me walking again.”  As much grief as the pony had put Braeburn through, he had to admit that it felt good to move under his own power again.  He smiled lopsidedly, because half his face was missing.
“Valiant ain’t a doctor,” said Apple Bloom.
“You aren’t?” shouted Braeburn.
Valiant shrugged.  “Yeah, you would never agreed to let me do that to you if I confessed that I didn’t know anything about anatomy.”
“I didn’t agree to let you do it anyway!”
“Dude, you’re the six-million-bit pony,” said Valiant, getting in Braeburn’s face.  “Six million bits in debt to me.  That stuff wasn’t cheap.”
“Uh, can we make you some cider instead?” said Applejack.