//------------------------------// // 27 - Corner Turn // Story: Outsider's Game: Turning Wheel // by Bluecho //------------------------------// Ch. 27 - Corner Turn “So...hot...” Weary fingers combed through sweat-drenched hair. Maybe it was the weather, or the press of equine bodies collected in one indoor location. Regardless, it was intolerably warm. Heap that upon intolerably loud, intolerably crowded, and intolerably painful. Painwheel gulped gratefully the punch in her hand. “Ugh...” Painwheel said, draining the chalice of golden ambrosia. She lamented it then being empty. She glanced towards the crowd, knowing a refill would necessitate navigating that living mass. “Mrr...” “HimynameisLyrawhat'syours?” She flinched, saying, “Huh? What?” Painwheel turned her head slowly, cocking it quizzically. Just behind her stood a unicorn. Mint of coat and adorned with a harp as a cutie mark, the unicorn grinned in a manner Painwheel scarcely thought possible. The unicorn practically vibrated with palpable excitement, she smiled so, eyes beaming wide and locked on the human. The human. “I said my name is Lyra! Nice to meet you!” the unicorn chimed, extending both forehooves and grasping at Painwheel's hand. Ignoring Painwheel's yelp, Lyra continued breathlessly, “What's your name?” Painwheel's entire body shook with the force of the hearty hand-hoofshake. “I...uh...P-Painwheel...” “So Painwheel...are you a human?” Lyra said, finally letting Painwheel's hand go. “Um...yes?” Painwheel said reservedly, clutching her hand and bearing the pain the parasites were kicking up in response to the jostling. Hearing the response, Lyra lit up even more. “Eeeeeeeee! I knew it!” she squeed, bobbing up and down. Her eyes swept over Painwheel, absorbing every detail like a packer inspecting a piece of meat. "I mean, it's hard to mistake you for a pony, but you wouldn't believe how many times I've asked that to this creature or that, and they'd look at me like some sort of lunatic. Just last year..." Painwheel gulped, mouth growing dry. She rubbed her temple, feeling a headache coming on. Eyes still were locked on the strange unicorn. A pall of dread settled over her. “You think it was alright sending Lyra towards Painwheel?” Spike said. Twilight Sparkle tapped her chin anxiously, craning her neck to peek over the crowd. On the clear other side of the room, she could barely make out the telltale swastika blades. “...uh...maybe?” Spike scowled. “Oh, don't give me that face,” Twilight said, cocking an eyebrow. “She's been cooped up in the library for weeks, with minimal contact. Humans are social creatures, just like ponies, so the exposure will do her good. Get her out of her shell. Lift her out of her funk.” Twilight forced a smile. “She's been in more than a funk, Twilight,” Spike said, grabbing a pastry from the refreshment table and inhaling it. “Plus, a party seems too much too fast.” “...granted...” Twilight said, rubbing the back of her head. “Blame Pinkie for the party, at least. I'm at least only sending individual ponies to Painwheel.” “Oh, I blame Pinkie alright,” Spike mumbled, rolling his eyes. Somewhere in the distance, a certain party pony felt a momentary flush of sadness. She shook her head and ordered the music louder, while simultaneously leading a group of party guests in a game of punch pong. “I think she heard you,” Twilight said, looking out at the increasing revelry. “Nevermind Pinkie Pie,” Spike said, waving a clawed hand. “Do you think it's okay to send Lyra to meet Painwheel?” “We've known Lyra since we first got here, Spike,” Twilight said, tipping her head and donning a matronly smile. The gesture she often used with the baby dragon over the years she knew him. “She has a good head on her shoulders. An eccentric one, albeit, but good nonetheless.” “Normally, yeah.” Spike pointed a claw towards the alicorn. “But...come on. You had to have noticed how, around Painwheel, she's...how do I put this?” “...unusually exuberant?” Twilight said, frowning. Sweat droplets flowed down the side of her face. Was it hot in there, or was it just Twilight? Spike tapped his nose twice with his index claw. “...maybe we should go check up on them...” “...are black fingernails common for humans? Because the book never said anything about that. The book didn't talk about a lot of things that I really wish it would. Like what plants they eat, or how they keep warm during winter without a coat of fur, or...” “Ugh...” Painwheel messaged her temples with both hands, a pounding headache developing in her cranium. It pulsed in her head in time with the pulsing of the bass that racked the building. A bizarre, alien noise that passed for music among these people, created from instruments foreign to Painwheel's ear. Worse than the kind of wild, improvised Jazz native to her own world, for at least that came from brass horns, strummed strings, and ivory keys. “...then my mom would catch me, but I kept on trying to perfect my ability to walk on my hind legs. It's harder than it looks; you make it seem so easy. Do you ever get tired standing like that all day? Oh, or maybe you've been doing it so long it's second nature! I had quite a conversation with a minotaur about the subject...” “Yerrrr...” Painwheel shifted from one foot to the other, the dull throb of aching feet complementing ill the throbbing of the music and the throbbing of her heart and her head and the parasites. She only allowed each foot a few seconds, before switching them out. She wanted to sit down, but she couldn't find any open chairs. Why were there so few chairs? There should be many chairs. It's a town hall! “...I'm honestly surprised the library fine wasn't higher. I had it out for how long? Come to think of it, I'm surprised they let me graduate...” Cripes, was this mare still talking? Painwheel looked over to...Lyra? Was that her name? Must have been, she had a harp on her flank. The mare was just talking away, eyes shut most of the time or wandering around the room, as if Painwheel wasn't even there. Lyra, Painwheel thought, what am I to you? Am I just an excuse for you to gush about humans? Might I as well be a cardboard cutout? “...should have copied it. I had it long enough...” Painwheel couldn't even hear the mare most of the time, not over the talking everywhere else in the room. It was incessant. White noise that whispered or shouted in fragments. Like the sound of the doctor barking orders in her head. The human clapped a hand over her ear, trying to drown out the rest of the noise. But it would not be devitalized, not with everypony talking and talking and dancing to the beat of a weird composition, that sounded like the record was skipping. In the distance, she could hear whooping and cheering, but knew not why. “...Bon Bon ate the entire platter! The whole thing! All the sweets were just gone! And boy was her face pale when she realized what she did. Paler than usual, mind, what with her cream-white fur and all. Well, I couldn't let her get in trouble, so when teach asked who did it, I...” “Painwheel? Where are you?” came a voice somewhere in the distance. “Huh?” Painwheel grunted, whipping her head around. She winced, the parasites complaining about the sudden movement. Writhing against muscle and bone; digging into her skull where they wrapped up to her head. “Argh!” “Uh...” Lyra said, staring at Painwheel, “Are...are you okay?” “Shut up.” “What? I didn't catch that? Repeat please?” “SHUT UP!” Painwheel screamed it in Lyra's face, then pushed the pony with both arms, sending the pony staggering back into the wall. “SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” To top it off, Painwheel threw her arms out and bellowed into the air, “AAAAAAAGH!” The Buar Drive spun, whipping wind up around her. It was a moment before, gasping hot, humid air, Painwheel looked back towards Lyra. All the noise stopped, save Painwheel's ragged breaths. “Huff...puff...well! Can you hear me now?! Say something!” She barked it loud; she barely heard shuffling hooves moving away from her behind. Didn't notice, for the loud beating of her heart. “S-say...some...thing...” Lyra Heartstrings flinched under the words, sinking to the ground against the wall. Frightened tears began forming in her eyes. Painwheel's enraged scowl fell away. “...I...” Her mouth was agape. Seconds passed, then she clapped hands over her mouth. “Oh no...” she whispered, backing away. She turned around. All around her, ponies stared. Many shook in terror, or barely remained standing on wobbly feet. All eyes were on her. No one said anything. The music wasn't playing anymore. Among them was Twilight Sparkle, near the front. She stared sadly. “Painwheel...” “...ah...I...” Painwheel said, hands clutched to her chest. “...I didn't mean...I...” She looked back down at Lyra, who started when looked upon. A great vice tightened in Painwheel's chest. “Oh no...oh...oh God...” She shook her head, slowly at first, then rapidly. Violently. In scant seconds, she was working herself into a fit. Tears rolled down her scarred cheeks. “I'm so sorry!” Her hands covered her face like the mask Painwheel once wore. She bolted. “Painwheel! Stop!” Twilight shouted, hoof stretched out towards the human's retreating form. But to no avail. Painwheel was already out of the building, long gone. Leaving only tears in her wake. “Anypony found her yet?” Twilight Sparkle ran into the intersection, calling out to the many ponies running to and fro. Rarity ran up with Golden Harvest. “We didn't find the poor dear around the shopping district,” Rarity said. She threw a foreleg over her head dramatically. “Oh if only I had stuck with her, instead of socializing! What a dilemma to have such grave consequences!” Pinkie Pie poked her head out of a trashcan. “Wheelie's not in any of the garbage cans! I should know, I checked them all!” “She wouldn't be in the garbage cans, Pinkie,” Spike said, running over, Written Word following close behind and panting. “For one thing, she can't fit her blades into one.” “Yeah she could!” Pinkie Pie retorted, adjusting the can lid she wore as a hat. “I was paying attention during our fight, and she could collapse her...swisstika-whatzits.” “Why would she even hide in the garbage, darling?” Rarity said, turning her nose up at the party pony. “Ooh, you reek!” Twilight simply rolled her eyes. Fluttershy flew from the sky and landed softly. “I couldn't see her, Twilight. It's just too dark, and there's so much ground to cover.” “I know...” Rainbow Dash and Applejack hobbled down another street, both sporting bandages here and there. “Man, if only I could fly, I'd be able to zip around so fast! Find Painwheel in a heartbeat.” “It's like she plum disappeared,” Applejack said, fanning herself with her hat. “Like she ain't even in Ponyville no more.” Twilight considered this, tapping her chin. Not even in Ponyville? “'smatter, sugar?” Applejack said, facing the alicorn. “Y'all think you got a lead with that brain of yers? Cause iffin Ah said something unintentional smart, you gotta tell me.” “...maybe...” Twilight said, rubbing her head. Her wings fluttered, then began flapping. “I don't know if I'm right, so I need everypony to keep looking. I'm going to check something.” As everypony else nodded and set off in different directions, Twilight took to the air. She headed north, out of town. Twinkling pinpricks of light lit up the heavens, casting a soft glow upon the earth. On that earth, a vast field of flowers, waving gently in the night breeze. In that field there was a small hill, topped with a single tree. A figure sat on the hill, backed by a metal whirlygig that reflected the rising moon. The figure's face was tucked into her knees. Quiet sobs wafted through the air. Back where it all started. Twilight Sparkle touched down. “Painwheel?” The human flinched, then tightened her grip around her legs. She buried her face deeper into her knees. “Go away!” Twilight crept forward, head bowed low. “Painwheel...” “...just...j-just go away...” Taking a seat on the turf beside the human, Twilight faced the same direction, taking in the scenery. “...some view, huh?” she joked, chuckling shakily. Painwheel remained still and silent – for a moment. Finally, a lone bloodshot, puffy eye peeked over bent knee. “...mmhmm...” she assented, glancing at the valley rich in cool colors and wavy blossoms. Then she buried her face again. “...Painwheel, I'm so sorry,” Twilight said, expression dropping. “I know that means nothing coming from me, but I am sorry. And I'm here to help you.” She stared at the moon. When did she stop expecting to see the Mare in the Moon? “...Lyra is okay; you didn't hurt her, and she doesn't harbor any hard feelings. She was just shaken is all.” Flinching, the human leaned away, peeking out to examine the ground next to her. Spotting a purple Hyacinth*, she reached out and uprooted it. It turned over and over in her grasp, letting her examine it by the moonlight. Her eyes glistened with moisture. “Look, it was a mistake to force you to attend the party,” Twilight said. “You still haven't recovered from...everything...we'll take it slow from now on. Put you in less stressful situations. Maybe get you some professional help...” Twilight didn't really know where to go for a therapist who could handle human psychology, let alone of such severe trauma. But she would try, because playing it by ear really wasn't working. In lieu of expect advice, though, Twilight could only offer the support she could. “Painwheel, it's going to be okay.” “It's not going to be okay!” Painwheel whined, clutching the hyacinth stem vigorously. “It's never going to be okay!” “I know you're stressed...” “No! You don't know!” Painwheel yelled. “You were in my head, but things have changed!” She gritted her teeth, shaking her head. “I'm...I'm...” Fresh tears began forming in her eyes. “I'm...scared...” Ears drooped back. “Scared?” Twilight asked. Dots began to connect in her mind – Painwheel had gotten progressively worse since the mind probe, and Twilight hadn't been around to notice. But these merely raised more questions. “Painwheel, what are you scared of?” Painwheel turned towards the alicorn. Tears streamed down her cheek. “I-I'm s-scared of myself!” she choked. Sniffing and sobbing, she drove herself into a bout of hiccups. Both hands clutched the flower. “When I was at the p-party...hic...every little thing...b-built up...hic...and I just exploded.” She rubbed an eye with the back of her hand, the metal band around her wrist clacking against her flesh. “The lights, the music, the crowds...the pain...hic...it was too m-much... “And it's the pain, pain, Pain, Pain, PAIN!” Twilight fell over backwards as the human thrashed, gripping her head and shaking violently. “Oh Sweet Celestia,” Twilight said, wide-eyed. “Every day, it's always the pain. It never stops. Never stops.” Painwheel rubbed hard through her hair, droplets of salty liquid rolling off her chin. “Everything feels awful; I can't even enjoy things anymore. And I'm angry all the time.” Painwheel looked into Twilight's eyes. “I was never this angry before, but now...now I feel angry all the time. It feels like I'm going crazy!” The human crawled forward and seized the alicorn's forelimbs with her hands. Twilight flinched under the contact, but didn't look away. “Painwheel...” “Twilight...I'm so scared...scared that if something goes wrong...that something like tonight might happen, but worse.” Painwheel shook her head, trying to clear her eyes of tears, tears that never stopped. Just like the pain. “Twilight, I'm afraid if it goes on like this, that I'm going to snap and kill someone. That I'll turn back into that monster, and not stop until everyone I love dies. “Twilight!” She shook the alicorn, just for emphasis. “I can't go on like this anymore!” The alicorn stared in shock, letting it all settle in. Finally, she swallowed hard and spoke, “then we need to get you help.” She placed a hoof on Painwheel's forearm, practically feeling the parasites writhe under the creature's skin. It disturbed Twilight, dredging up the memories of using magic to examine the parasites directly through magically transparent flesh. Twilight swallowed again. “There are medical scientists; doctors. We can get you help. No...” She nodded her head. “We will get you help!” Sniffing, Painwheel was unable to stop a trickle of molasses-like mucus trailing from her nose. “Hic...sniff...really?” “Really.” At first this appeared to mollify the human, but then she shut her eyes and grimaced. Subsequently, a head shake. “...but it might not work.” “It'll work,” Twilight said forcefully, taking Painwheel's hand in her hooves. “But you don't know that. What if nopony in Equestria can help me?” Painwheel looked deep in Twilight's eyes. Just a day ago, the two were similarly locked in eye contact, though of considerably different nature. Painwheel's vision solidified, resolute. “Twilight, I want you to promise me something.” “Anything,” Twilight nodded. “Anything?” “Anything.” A considerable temptation to perform a pinky promise came over her. Then again, it wouldn't mean anything to Painwheel, but make her think Twilight didn't take the matter seriously. “What do you need me to promise?” “I want you to kill me.” Outside “What in damnation's stewing,” barked the erstwhile sponsor, “is that blasted fool girl doing?!” He clapped a well-kept hand over a well-kept beard. “Was told that problems this wench had, not she'd meet oblivion glad!” “A truly shocking turn of events, to say the least,” the wanderer said, fiddling with his ornate cane. “But then again, let's wait and see. Would hardly be proper to interfere here.” The sponsor merely bit his lip, facade of civility and style slipping. The wanderer noted this. How his peers invested so much in so little. In the grand scheme, of course. Inside “...what?” Twilight Sparkle sat dumbfounded. Her mouth hung open, rising and falling in several aborted attempts to respond. No cogent response was possible, really. Her brain had trouble understanding. So her mind defaulted. “I'm sorry, what?” Painwheel sucked air, clutching the alicorn's hooves. “I don't want to live this way. I can't. I will go mad if made to do so. Twilight, if no one can take away my pain, then I...I don't want to live a life like this.” Muscles across her body trembled. “Twilight Sparkle...if all else fails, I want you to be my mercy angel.”