//------------------------------//
// Episode Three: Wrong Turn(about)  
// Story: Rainbow Dash: Ace Attorney 
// by Muleicous 
//------------------------------//


Wrong Turn(about)

Rainbow Dash sighed as she finished her hay tar-tar, “Thanks for the meal chief.” Cherilee  had offered to take Dash along on her and Pinkie Pie’s dinner/meeting, and considering that Rainbow only had a few packets of noodles and some moldy bread at home she didn’t see a chance to refuse. The chief had taken her sister and protege to La Petit Cheval, one of the most expensive restaurants in town. Even a stack of hay fries is about 50 bits in this place, Rainbow thought, then voiced her curiosity. “Hey chief, how’re you able to afford three meals in this place? Well... Two meals and all the deserts.” The cyan pegasus looked over at the mountain of cakes and pies near her boss’ bright pink sister.
“I’ve made some very good business decisions Dash,” Cherilee said as she stole a piece of double chocolate cake from Pinkie’s side of the table, “not to mention your friend Sarah payed us a good amount of bits for your first case.”
“Um... her name’s Lyra, chief.” 
“Are you sure? I could’ve sworn it was Moyra...”
That’s the second time tonight, I’m just glad Lyra’s not here to see this, Rainbow thought, it would probably kill her... 
“Anyway,” the dark pink pony said, “I’m glad you could some out here with us Dash. I needed to talk to you about our next case... It seems you mite be going up against that new genius prosecutor after all...”
“My, my, my... Is that Cherilee Pie and friends I see?” A strange voice called from nowhere, causing Rainbow Dash to spin around and stand, ready for a fight. 
“Ch...Chief...?” Rainbow asked, looking for the source of the voice to no avail.
Cherilee waved her hoof, “It’s alright Rainbow, it’s just an old rival...” the defense lawyer looked over to the wall behind her, “Hello Von Kaos.” Slowly, the wood work on the wall gave way to a tall being. He wasn’t exactly a pony, in fact Dash couldn’t tell what he was. He had the head of a goat, the legs of a dragon and a mule, the body and arms of a griffin, and a plethora of other extremely mismatched body parts. 
“Oh Cheri, I do wish you would call me by my full name, or at least my first...” the creature’s eyes turned to Rainbow Dash quickly, “Ah, a new face. Please, have my card.” He snapped the claws on his eagle talon hand, and suddenly Dash’s cola turned into a small, square card that read:


Discord Von Kaos: Ace Attorney
Prosecutor, Von Kaos Law Offices


“Um... Thanks...” Rainbow said as she pocketed the card. She looked over the draconequus once more: Von Kaos had a velvety purple coat on, with ruffles at the sleaves, along with a dark violet vest and cravat. In the strange prosecutor’s had was a cane that had the head of some strange bird Rainbow had never seen before. 
“I’m sure your teacher has told you so many things about me.” Discord said as he hovered over the three ponies table (Pinkie, of course, oblivious to anything but the pumpkin pie she was destroying).
“Not really, this is the first time I’ve ever...”
“Well then,” the prosecutor snapped the paw on his lion’s arm, creating a 4ive pony band out of nowhere, “allow me to tell you a bit about myself, Miss new-faced defense attorney.”
“Wh... What?!” the cyan pegasus just stared, slacked jawed. “Chief... What’s he doing?”
“He’s going to sing Rainbow...” Cherilee rubbed her temples with her hooves, as if this had happened before, “He’s going to sing...”

(Sung to the tune of Redd White and You)
(Discord's lyrics in green, talking parts in black)


Discord makes the rules, Discord fights for the right
Discord has the record that makes everypony look twice
Discord find the lies, Discord sees through it all
Ponies stop me everywhere, to tip their hat’s in regards 
Discord’s prosecuting, making criminal turn heel
I’ll just answer a question, cuz that’s just how nice I feel...

Rainbow waited for the song to continue, until she realized that the draconequus was talking to her. “Oh...um... What do you mean by ‘the record that makes everypony look twice’?”
“Ah my record,” Discord smiled, “my prefect score, my pride and joy...”

My record is 100 percent, I’ve only lost one case mind you
You may not know me, but I’m sure you’ll know my cases Blue
Discord makes the tests, Discord follows through
Don’t ask what I can convict, because that list’s too long for you.

“Now Miss...”
“Dash, Rainbow Dash.” the rainbow maned defense lawyer said.
“Whatever...” Discord rolled his mismatched eyes, “I’ll give you another chance to ask me a question... Go on...”
“Ok then Mr. Von Kaos,” Dash said, rubbing her chin as her boss and Pinkie watched, “There’s one thing I want to know... What’s with the frilly coat?”
“Frilly?! What do you mean frilly?” the strange prosecutor glared at the pegasus, “All prosecutor’s used to wear cravats! It was a symbol of the office, and I make all my protege’s wear them as well.”
“Wait... All of them? Does that mean...”
“Yes it does,” another voice said, this one belonging to Twilight Sparkle, “I’m surprised Dash, you actually figured it out before I told you.” The purple unicorn clapped her hooves in mock congratulations.
“Now, now girls,” Discord stretched his arm out and wagged his finger playfully, “Let me finish my song first...”

So don’t you try to face me, and cast me off my throne
Let he who fights the sinned (and loves it!) cast the final stone!
Discord is the rules, Discord is the right
Discord is the power, so make Discord’s advice
If you face me, stop while you’re ahead
Don’t ask if you can defend your client, when you know you’ll lose instead!


And just as he finished his song, Discord Von Kaos and his protege disappeared in a puff of green smoke. 
“Chief... What just happened?” Rainbow asked, her head cocked to the side as she tried to figure out where the last ten minutes of her life went.
“Don’t ask about it too much Dash, I never did when I faced him in the court.” Cherilee sighed as she shook her head.
“It was a catchy tune though!” Pinkie called out, humming the tune that the band was playing.