//------------------------------// // Shop 'til it Drops (Finale) // Story: The Sunshine Chronicles // by TwilightUCrazy //------------------------------// Rainbow groaned and shook her throbbing head. The light pierced her eyes as she flicked her eyes open, and hissed as she clasped them tightly shut. Dammit... where'd this hangover come from? I don't remember any cider parties... Then she remembered and reached up to rub the side of her head. She reached up to rub the side of her head. She reached up... She... What in the sweet name of Hurricane is going— Rainbow painfully opened her eyes. She saw the rope. “That'd do it...” she muttered. “Good to finally have one of you awake,” a familiar voice said. “Now maybe we can finally start getting some answers.” The pegasus blinked and looked up, hissing at the painful glare of sunlight as it reflected off the metallic bars of the cage. Grunting and averting her eyes, she sneered. “Hey, whoever's the bun-bag in charge of the light show, couldja set it to 'me-not-wanting-to-buck-your-teeth-out'?” “U-umm... are you sure that isn't Rainbow Dash?” a timid voice asked somewhere off to her right. “It sounds a lot like her." Rainbow cracked open the corner of her eye and saw Fluttershy hovering nearby. Between her forehooves was clutched a piece of wood paneling with an Applejack-face-shaped indent in the middle of it. Judging from the pained groan behind her, the pegasus didn't need more than one guess to figure out what had happened to her wife. Finally adjusting to the light, Rainbow peered past the scorchingly-bright interrogation lamp aimed directly in her face. "Will somepony kill the brightwork, please?!" she snapped, wriggling in her bindings. "And untie me already! My wings are cramping up!" "She certainly bears a great many likenesses to her, dear, but she's by no means inimitable." "Rarity?" Rainbow squinted and looked around, but the white unicorn was veiled in the shadows of whatever room they were in. The silhouette of a horned figure moved through it, her straight and well-kept mane a dead giveaway. "Twilight?" Shaking her head, the pegasus's eyes crossed, and she thought back over the events of the last few hours. "What the buck is going on? I must've hit my head harder than I thought..." She considered a moment and blinked as her recollection returned to her. "Oh yeah... that happened." "Oh, goodness..." the soft, familiar voice of Rainbow's foalhood friend said nearby. "You aren't too uncomfortable are you? Should I get you a pillow for your head?" "Fluttershy?" she asked incredulously. She struggled a moment. "Ummm... mind telling me why we're tied up? I mean, I know I'm into some kinky stuff, but I'm not a fan of orgies." She turned and saw her mate strapped to her back, facing away from her. "Don't talk to her, darling! She could still be dangerous..." "What the hay are you talking about?!" Rainbow demanded loudly, grunting against the rope. "Is this some kind of practical joke or something?!" "Well, she's certainly not lost any of her spirit..." Twilight's voice said from the shadows. "Now if we could just get the other one to wake up." Rainbow felt Applejack stir and groan behind her. "Mmmph... three teaspoons of cinnamon in the mix for perfect flavor..." "Oh, for the love of turds..." She reached up and elbowed her mate against her back, earning a startled snort. "Hey, AJ! Quit dreamin' about your apple nutmeg and wake up!" "Whuh...? W-where the hay are we?" Rainbow narrowed her eyes as the light was refocused on her. "The Twilight zone, from the looks of it..." "Huh...?" "Glad to have you both with us..." Twilight said ominously, stepping into the light and casting a shadow over the two of them. Rainbow finally saw the windowless, plain cinderblock room the two were housed in, and the small cage surrounding them. Several guards moved in the shadows, their agitated eyes trained on them. "I hope you both had a nice nap." "Who clocked me over the noggin...?" "Oh. I-I'm sorry..." "Will somepony please explain to me what the buck is going on?!" “Eep!” Rainbow’s adjusting eyes saw Fluttershy jump back into Rarity’s protective hooves. “Don’t worry, darling. She can’t get you from in there.” The silhouetted pegasus whimpered. “Enough!” a loud, authoritative voice reached her ears. Twilight slammed her forehooves against the bars of the cage, causing Applejack to let out a startled yelp. The princess glared icily at the two of them, and Rainbow felt her feathers clasp against her sides. “No more games! No more lies! No more faking!” The entire makeshift prison rattled as their friend pushed off and started walking in wide arcs around them like a predatory cat stalking its wounded prey. “I want answers, and they had better be the TRUTH!” “You couldn’t handle the truth!” Rainbow couldn’t see all the eyes in the room rotating towards the shadowy blob in the corner, but she knew they were there. “What? I told you guys what I thought they were doing here, but you didn’t believe me!” “Pinkie, dear, please try not to make this more difficult.” Rainbow heard her friend sigh in the darkness. “Sometimes I feel like I’m the only sane pony in the whole room…” The atmosphere shifted again as everypony and their mother rolled their eyes. ”I told you they’d find us out!” Applejack broke, flailing in her bindings. “I knew this whole trip was a bad idea from the start! Why didn’t you listen to me?!” “AJ! Shut your face!” she hissed. Twilight turned her attention back to them and leaned up against the cage again. “Quiet! I want information! Tell me what you both know! NOW!” “Know about what?! What the hay are you talking about?!” Twilight’s teeth ground together and her eyes and horn glowed threateningly. “OKAY! OKAY! I uhh…” The pegasus gulped and shrunk. “It wasn’t Rarity’s customer who farted in her dress that one time! IT WAS ME!” Rarity’s eye twitched dangerously nearby. She lunged towards the cage in a bestial rage, clawing out at her with her pearly forehooves. “SNUFF HER! SNUFF HER NOW!” Rainbow had never come so close to fainting. It took two large royal guards to pry Rarity off the metallic bars and pacify her. Twilight recovered her composure and wiped a bead of sweat off her forehead and turned back to face the pair. “So… you want to play dumb, huh?” Rainbow and Applejack gulped simultaneously. “Well, if that’s the way you want it, what say I just open this gate and let Rarity show you what she thinks of your little… faux pas?” she asked with a wicked smirk. The pegasus blinked and looked towards the unicorn in the corner, still being restrained by the same pair of guards. The way her usually-immaculate mane was ruffled and draped over her face was… a disturbing sight to say the least. She still frothed at the mouth and snorted large clouds of steam. Her horn crackled with unspent energy. “W-well whaddya want us to confess to, then?!” Rainbow whimpered, still feeling Rarity’s eyes burning a hole into the side of her head. Pinkie walked into the light and leaned against the cage sipping a cup of soda. “They think you two are changelings,” she said with a shrug. Rainbow and Applejack looked at each other with eyes wide as dinner plates. ”WHAT?! “I know, right? I thought it was silly too!” “’Think’?! We know it!” Twilight interceded, pressing against the bars. “You two have been out of our lives for weeks at a time doing pony-knows-what, and now after this trip, it’s all finally starting to come together.” Rarity strode calmly up and set her hoof against the bar, her eyes only slightly softer than before. “You two were never so difficult to find time with before.” “And you promised you wouldn’t forget about us when you got married…” Fluttershy said with a pout. “And what’s more, you both have been acting very strange…” the princess said, her violet eyes narrowed and suspicious. “S-strange?” Applejack stammered, gulping and looking at her. Rarity’s eyes were sapphire-like daggers. “The real Applejack wouldn’t be caught dead in a fashion show,” the unicorn snarled. Applejack paled. “And neither would Rainbow Dash!” Fluttershy asserted, before blinking and shrinking. “Umm… I mean, unless you are Rainbow Dash… and you would do that… umm, s-sorry…” “We’re not changelings, okay?!” “I’m as much an earth pony as the day I was born! I didn’t hatch from no egg!” “QUIET!” the princess boomed. All ponies who heard obeyed and straightened up. “I want to know what you did with my friends — my REAL friends! NOW!” “Twilight! Twilight! Listen! This is crazy!” “You’ve got it all wrong, sugarcube! We… we ain’t really... uhh..." Applejack looked at her. “No! Twilight! Really! You have to believe us! We’re not changelings! We’re… we’re…” Rainbow bit her lip and scrambled to think of something. She looked over her withers for help. Applejack shook her head frantically. “You’re what? Spit it out!” the princess demanded, punching the bar with her hoof. The couple looked in panic at each other. “W-we… uhh—” The farmgirl swallowed. “W-would you believe that we’re long-lost twin sisters of Rainbow Dash and Applejack, and we’re in town on vacation?” she asked with a lop-sided grin. Rainbow’s forehead twitched. ”OH, GREAT BUCKIN’ IDEA! How was that different from what I suggested?!” Applejack glared at her sharply. ”’CAUSE I SAID ‘VACATION’!” Everypony recoiled in shock. The color left Applejack's cheeks as all eyes turned to her, wide and vacant. “Eheheh… S-see… w-we just done found out about Rainbow Dash and Applejack gettin’ hitched here a few months ago and we were gonna come ‘round and congratulate ‘em. W-we were just uhh… l-lookin’ for a present to send ‘em?” Nopony else said a word. The disbelief rolling off their stares was tangible. Rainbow rolled her head and whacked an imaginary hoof against her face. “We are so doomed…” The other girls shook their heads and looked at each other. “That was… quite possibly the worst lie I have ever heard in my entire life…” “I would have to try to tell a lie that terrible…” Fluttershy agreed, aqua eyes wide. “Only one pony could pull off a falsity that badly…” Twilight said, edging towards the cage. She came around and leaned closer, peering into the farmgirl's face. “…Applejack?!” Her wife looked over at her, and the pegasus sighed, sagging back against her. “Oh, the hay with it already…” She shifted uncomfortably. “Anything’s gotta be better than this…” Applejack frowned and sighed. “Yeah… it’s us…” “Toldjaaaaaa~!” a jubilant voice sing-songed in the background. “Hang on, Pinkie…” Twilight blinked and narrowed her eyes straight at Rainbow Dash. “I’m still not entirely convinced…” “’Convinced’?” Rainbow double-took. “What? You want more?” “YOU!” Twilight said suddenly, eyes narrowing into knife-like slits. “Rainbow Dash… if that’s really who you are…” “It is me!” she squeaked, bouncing against the cage floor. “Itisitisitis!” “Sugarcube, honest! Do you really think I wouldn’t know my own wife from a fake?!” The alicorn quirked an eyebrow. “Hmm… I wonder…” A violet light pulsed from the tip of her horn and she looked to her left. Fluttershy yelped in surprise, and a large primary emerged from the pegasus’s wing, hovering over near to the cage. Rainbow’s eyes widened in abject terror. “W-w-w-w-what’re you gonna do with that?” Twilight stared levelly with her. “Whatever I have to do to get some answers…” Fluttershy’s feather twitched in the air near Rainbow’s nose, and she bit her lip. The feather brushed past her chest, teasing the fur on her stomach. Rainbow nearly had a coronary when the feather stopped by her leg. “NO! NO, NOT THE HOOVES! NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! I’LL TELL YOU ANYTHING!” she screamed, her hooves scraping against the metallic floor of the cage. Twilight narrowed her eyes and the feather drifted closer. “OKAY! OKAY! I… uhhh, I didn’t stop wetting the cloud ‘til I was twelve! I used to be scared stiff of the ground! And when I was six, I had a mondo-huge crush on Gilda!” “Rainbow…" Applejack grunted behind her, "yer squishin’ me…” Twilight stroked her chin and slowly withdrew the feather, much to Rainbow’s endless relief. “No hoofsies for this one… she’s got that part right… but I don’t know if that’s enough to go on…” the princess said suspiciously. “Anypony might not like having their hooves tickled after all.” She crossed her forelimbs and considered her as Rainbow recovered from her near-panic attack. Twilight turned away and trotted a few steps. She froze in her tracks then suddenly whipped around, pointing directly at her. “TELL ME! What is Rapid Fire’s highest recorded top speed?” Without even a moment of hesitation, “Five-hundred seventy-two miles per hour!” Twilight paused and considered. “What is Soarin’s total average wingpower under optimal flying conditions?” “Thirteen-point-eight!” “Hmm…” Twilight bit her lip and narrowed her eyes. “Very good… Rainbow Dash would know those facts by heart… but anypony could learn them if they studied hard enough, now couldn’t they?” Their gazes met, and the two stared at each other for several long moments. “But some things about a pony simply can’t be imitated…” Twilight straightened herself and Rainbow Dash sweat bullets. The princess stamped her hoof demandingly. “Who would win in a race – Colonel Spitfire or Captain Fleet Foot?” Rainbow blinked and considered the top of the cage for half a moment. “Well, it depends on the weather conditions. Fleet Foot’s really lightweight so she’s a fair weather flier, so a race between them in clear skies would be really close. Fleet Foot’s a little more maneuverable so she could run an obstacle course quicker. But Spitfire’s faster than her in adverse weather, and she’s had a lot more training in crosswind conditions. See, she has this routine where—” “Okay, okay! You’re Rainbow Dash!” Twilight said, cutting her off. Relief for the bound pony was like water on a parched tongue. She looked over her withers and offered a nervous smile. “S-see?” the pegasus said through a cracking voice. “Nothing to worry about…” Applejack sighed at her but said nothing. “But quite honestly all of this raises more questions than it answers,” Rarity said in wide-eyed bewilderment. “What in Equestria’s name could have possibly possessed you two to come here to Canterlot of all places on a Saturday morning?” “And why didn’t either of you tell us?” Fluttershy asked. “Buuuuhhhh…” Rainbow gulped and looked to Applejack. “Those’re reeeeeally good questions, sugarcube, but… ya think y’all could untie us first?” “Seriously. I can’t feel my wings anymore…” Nopony took notice of the massive shadowy figure looming in the dark staircase until her booming voice echoed off the walls of the chambers. “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?” Rainbow jerked her head to the left. Princess Luna was larger than life in most situations, but the way her mane and tail shimmered in the dark of the doorway made her appear as big and vast as the cosmos she was custodian of. Twilight blinked and looked between Rainbow Dash, Applejack and the diarch. “I… w-well…” “My sister made it most clear to me upon my return that cruel and unusual methods of information extraction became forbidden to practice more than five hundred years ago,” the alicorn said, narrowing her eyes on the feather that Twilight held in her telekinetic grasp. The younger princess blushed and hid the feather behind her. Luna stared at her expectingly. “U-umm… it’s… kind of a long story, your highness…” “Rainbow,” Applejack said softly behind her, nudging her with her elbow “I think we got some fessin’ up to do…” She squirmed and bit her lip. “Aww, hayseed…”