5/30/2014
Honestly, some people just should not be parents.
So I was sitting in Tim Horton’s this morning, enjoying a cup of coffee, when three out-of-towners walk in and sit down, a set of parents and their son. They stick out from the locals like a sore thumb, especially these days. Anyway, the kid’s going on and on about all the funny costumes, and how he wants one. His Mom and Dad at least have the decency to look embarrassed and uncomfortable. Their waitress walks up to take their order, but she doesn’t even get three words into her spiel before the kid starts a fresh tantrum about wanting a unicorn horn headband like hers, and he wants it NOOOOOOOOOOOW. Just the worst.
Nothing the parents are saying to the kid seems to get through. If I’d acted like that at his age, my Mom would’ve paddled my ass red right there in the restaurant, with worse to come when I got home. Parents today are soft, though, so the kid gets away with it. That’s not the worst of it, though. The kid reaches up, grabs her horn, and yanks.
It’s hard to say exactly what happened then, it was all pretty quick. Waitress started screaming as it came right off. Must have been pretty new, hadn’t really settled in all the way. Those things are delicate, and left a nasty gash as the kid yanked it out of her forehead. He just kinda stared down at the bloody stump of the thing, and then he started screaming too. Blood was all over the table, which pissed me off even more. Can’t waste that stuff these days.
Dad got up and grabbed the kid, started bolting for the door. Mom tried to follow, but even through the pain the waitress had the presence of mind to grab at her turtleneck and drag her down. What a trooper. I hope that She will reward her for that, at the very least. Meanwhile, I do my part to protect our town, and our secret. A flying tackle brings Dad to the floor on top of the kid, and a mug smashed into the back of his head preempts any struggling. Too bad. It was a good cup of coffee.
Last I heard, a couple of nurses swung by the police station and sedated all three of them. I’m sure once they wake up they’ll be much more understanding. After all, they aren’t necessarily bad people; they just made a very bad decision.