//------------------------------// // Anthony's Mansion // Story: Starlight: Redshift // by the-pieman //------------------------------// Both of the girls cling tightly to me as the cackling turns to a deep, rumbly laugh of pure evil. Okay, gameplan. It’s probably Pokemon, so we’d have a chance to fight them if we had to. Geodude is Rock type, and between the rest of our teams, we have... nothing good against any of the possibilities. I figure trying to bang on the door or bust it open wouldn’t do any good, so, with nothing better to do... “Okay, let’s keep going and try to find a back door.” I gesture at the house in general, with thick cobwebs filling the doorways and shrouding the furniture. “Kroooowww.” I look up. Sitting ominously on top of the doorframe is a beefy-looking Honchkrow, with a ton of Murkrow just sitting there, like a bunch of mobsters who just had someone walk right into... their... territory. Gulp. Is this what kills me? A Pokemon version of Birds? I reach for GLaDoS’ pokeball, figuring an Electric type would be at least a little intimidating. Maybe. “Tay-to?” My pokemon says, before catching a glimpse of the arrayed birdpower. Immediately, He grabs the pokeball and returns himself. “Well girls, I’d like to say it was nice knowing you, but that only goes as far as one of you.” I close my eyes and await to feel the sensation of talons across my face, and beaks pecking out my eyes. Instead, I feel a pair of hands grabbing the back of my shirt, and I’m dragged through a doorway, yelling my head off as Twilight slams the hall door shut behind us, leaving us in near-total blackness. As I try to stop my imminent heart attack, I see Twilight and Rarity revert to their pony forms. Probably for the best, really. “Alright, Anthony, I get that you sometimes joke. But that? That was not cool for attempted last words.” Twilight informs me. “Look, I figure I’m only living on borrowed time here, not like I’m gonna get much chance before I’m a messy red stain on the floorboards of a house that is most likely filled with insane, not-dead creatures who want us dead.” I feel Twilight poke me roughly in the gut, somewhat painfully. “We’re not going to die! Jeez, it’s just a rather creepy old house, that happens to have a bunch of pokemon with bad reputations concerning sundown roosting in it. Nothing else, got it?” “Nothing else you can see. Have you ever watched a horror movie before? You never see the thing that kills you unless you are about to be killed in a very graphic and disturbing way!” Twilight sighs. “You’ll be fine, Anthony. Come on, we need to find you a candle or something, we’ll need to split up to explore this-” “Are you damaged!? If we split up, we’ll just be picked off one by one, there’s no telling how many ways that’s a stupid idea! Besides, everyone knows it’s the funny, charming guy who gets offed first, barring the presence of a black guy! I’m, like, the main target here!” “Oh, hush, Anthony, or we’ll leave you in this dusty, abysmal hallway on your own!” Rarity says, grimacing a wad of spider web that’s resolutely clinging to her ear. She pulls it off with her magic and flicks it away, only to catch more as her ear flicks in irritation. She scowls at it. Oh, good. The superficial bitch, she’s going down before me! Thank god, I have a chance... But Twilight... there’s no defined order for when the nerd gets offed. Will she be first, or last? Rarity starts looking into an open doorway, and Twilight staring at a large painting of a smiling Clefable. Meanwhile, I catch sight of a stand of candles, none of them lit, on a large candelabra. I watch the candelabra closely. If that thing moves, I’m dead. If I stare at it, it won’t move. After a minute or so of trying to win a staring contest with an inanimate object, I blink. The candles haven’t moved, and neither has the standing candelabra. Rarity has been in that room a long time... oh god, I don’t wanna check on her and find her dead, but I also don’t want to just abandon her! Fine. But if I die, she is so haunted. I take a look through the doorway, trying to keep my body out of sight. With only my head exposed to the room, I see that she’s in a large, nice-looking room, set up like a sitting room. She’s looking at the mantle for the fireplace, probably for matches. She turns as I step on a squeaky floorboard, and for a second, she’s got a grinning, demonic face in a cloudy haze. “Holy crap! Don’t eat me!” “What are you talking about, Anthony?” Rarity is giving me a funny look, but she doesn’t have the scary-face anymore. “I thought you were dead! You had, like, this creepy face and... and...” I hear a noise and whirl around to see... nothing. “Anthony, you are quite literally jumping at shadows. You need to calm down or you’ll end up a complete wreck!” “If I’m not paranoid, I won’t expect to be killed. The doubters are always the prime targets!” Rarity sighs and rolls her eyes. A sudden thunderclap interrupts both of our trains of thought, along with a sudden burst of light up and down the hall. I look around to see... that all the candles are alight. About one in five are burning in an odd color, and I don’t know why; but it’s not so dark anymore. What lit them? Wait... “Rarity, where’s Twilight?” “I thought she was with you?” Rarity says, puzzled as I am. None of the other doors in the hall are open. “Welp, we didn’t hear her scream and she’s off alone. Dead man- mare walking at this point.” “Anthony! Must you continue this morbid line of thinking? I’m sure she’s perfectly fine! Now, take a candle for your own light, and let us go find her.” Hesitantly I grab a candelabra and follow after Rarity. I’m still pretty sure Twi’s dead. I mean she’s already broken one of the two biggest rules of horror movies. Don’t go off alone, and don’t be a disbeliever. The first door we check is locked. The second sticks a bare inch after it opens, and creaks every inch of the way to open. Inside is a dark, cob-webbed library. Okay, if she’s in here, she’s probably opened a book. Third rule broken: Never get distracted. Carefully peeking at the arrayed bookshelves, I see that most of it is children’s literature, though the higher shelves are all perfectly normal books. Nothing bound in leather, no especially dark colored books... and no empty gaps. Uh oh, what if she grabbed a book and tripped a secret wall? She’s probably in another part of the house, and nobody can hear her. Yeah, she’s screwed. We collectively gulp, and move on to the next doorway, which creaks open similarly. The small cleaning closet on the other side would definitely need a janitor just to make use of it. Rarity and I are about to go around the next corner, when Twilight comes around that same corner heading the other way. “Oh, there you two are! Come on, I think I’ve found a room to at least set up in. It’s raining really hard outside, from the looks of it.” Suspicious. I hadn’t seen any windows yet... “Oooooooooohohohohohohonope. We are leaving this house ASAP! If it’s raining, then that’s just to get us to stay in here. I can deal with getting a head cold in exchange for a chance at living to see my thirtieth birthday!” “No! Anthony, stop being so unreasonable! There’s been nothing of note here except that nest of Murkrow in the foyer.” Twilight says. “And besides, I haven't even seen one ghost. And why is that candle out on the candelabra?” I look at the candles and they are all lit. Not a single one of them has gone out. “Maybe you need your eyes checked. Aside from the fact that usually you don’t see the ghosts before it’s too late, you might need glasses if you still think you haven’t seen one.” Rarity looks at the candle-holder. “Uhm, Anthony, one of them is out. The one on the left?” She gestures to the one on my right of the three. The little orangey flame looks perfectly normal to me. “Oh ha ha! Very funny. Make the smartly paranoid guy think he’s going crazy, yeah, let’s just poke fun at the one who’s actually accepting that ghosts fucking exist!” Twilight and Rarity look at each other. Twilight shakes her head. “Fine, Anthony, if you think it’s not out, then take just that one. We don’t need the others, and that tall candelabra is too big to be useful.” “Except that more candles mean more light which is a good thing...” I mutter as I take the clearly lit candle and follow along. “Wait... I’m going in the middle.” I state. The girls are now looking at me like I just told them that I was about to turn into a goat or something. “Everyone knows that the one in the rear gets picked off, and that the person in front triggers the traps. I’m trying this crazy thing called ‘self-preservation’.” The two roll their eyes, glancing momentarily at my perfectly-lit-thank-you candle, before looking back at where they’re going. Twilight leads us to a wooden door, which opens easily. On the other side is what looks like a dining room, still set for around twelve people and someone at the head of the table, but is a little dusty, and there’s intricate webs in the corners of the rooms. It’s actually a little comforting when I see a Spinarak just sitting in its web, not caring at all about us. A gentle susurrus fills the room. “Okay, the cliche ‘large set table’ dining room. Rule one, don’t touch any food. Rule two, do not sit down. Rule three, do not touch any silverware or plates, bowls, whatever.” I look over to see Rarity looking closely at the fine china plates. “Moron...” At least I’m assured not the first one dead. Rarity looks at me. “What? They’re beautiful plates. They just need a bit of cleaning, and they’ll be good as new!” “And you just need one fewer brain cell and you’re as good as dead.” I say flatly. “Just saying, you two are, like, totally dead already, you just haven’t been gotten yet.” Twilight huffs in frustration and turns away, towards a window that I absolutely did not only just now notice. Rain is sleeting down the tall glass windows, leaving the room in virtual darkness. A flash of light and a few seconds wait brings another thunderclap. “Yeah, I don’t care how badly it rains, still safer to leave the house than stay in it.” “Anthony, stop being such a baby. Now, since it’s getting late, we’re going to sleep in here. We can use our hammocks as floor mats, and our bags as pillows. It’s less than ideal, but I think we’ll be fine. For now, I’m  not tired, and think we should explore the rest of the house, alright?” “Sleep? You are in a strange house that looks totally abandoned, old, and partially falling apart, and you expect us to sleep here? Horror movies aside, for all we know this place could break and drop a support beam on us!” “Really? Then why is the wallpaper fresh, and the candles all used but trimmed?” Twilight counters with a smirk on her face. “Because things actually live here! Ghosts, which I have previously proven do exist! And since they are dead, of course they’d like to keep the place nice to look at for all eternity, but if the house has a breaking floor, who cares? They’re already dead!” “Anthony, you’re over-thinking this. Also, this dust is manufactured. I’m pretty sure. It’s too even, and it’s not clinging to the sides of anything.” She smugs at me. “I’m over-thinking things? Need I remind you of the various pokedex entries of recorded species that are known to only be somewhat alive and have powers to steal your soul?” “Oh come on, that won’t happen-” “And that’s the attitude that makes them angry. It’s settled, you’re screwed.” “Anthony, if you keep being absolutely impossible, I will use a sleep spell on you, and leave you tied up on the table!” “You wouldn’t dare!” Twilight rolls her eyes, huffs, and then I’m very very tired...