//------------------------------// // Chapter 27: The Hermit // Story: At the Inn of the Prancing Pony // by McPoodle //------------------------------// At the Inn of the Prancing Pony Chapter 27: The Hermit At this point in the adventure, Mary Jo Powell got up and walked over to the little table with the Apple II personal computer on it. After a few minutes, the always disconcerting sound of a modem connecting could be barely heard, and a few minutes after that, there was the click of a disconnection. Since the snacks tray was right there, she also loaded up. Having done all this, Mary Jo walked back to the Founder’s Group table, fueled her players, and made her report. A few minutes later, Alexia Reichart also strolled over to the snack table. None of the Founders managed to notice her using the Apple II. Hope and her companions were awakened by a small earthquake. The disguised Celestia, knowing that the Unicorn Range was geologically unstable, would have made nothing of this, if not for the extreme distrust with which Torn Deck, Carry On, Burnished Lore and Midnight Sparkle treated the constellation of Orion upon the conclusion of the brief temblor. Strangely, Facet and Itty Bitty didn’t appear to have any reaction whatsoever. Also, everyone seemed to have their mouths full...of absolutely nothing. The quake served as the signal for something even more interesting to begin. High over the mountains, two dragons began engaging in a mid-air battle. Both of the dragons appeared to be females. The larger of the two combatants was a cobalt blue in color, and shot bolts of lightning out of her mouth. The smaller dragon was pure black and preferred to use her claws to fight, but was also capable of spitting acid. As the adventurers watched, the black dragon managed to escape the clutches of the blue dragon, shooting high into the sky. Deliberately curling her right wing inward, she then descended in a chaotic spiral. The other dragon tried to block, but unable to predict precisely where her opponent was going to hit, she was struck wide, crashing into a mountain peak. The black dragon moved in quickly for hit after hit, and finally the blue dragon was forced to flee. Burnished Lore consulted his map. “Alright, I think it’s logical to conclude that there’s probably a dragon lair in these hills,” he said. Hope kept her eyes glued on the black dragon as it slowly descended out of sight. “Firebelle…” she said, in a mixture of hope and dread. “Hey!” Brian called from the next table. “Is somebody using my character?” All of Hope’s companions looked simultaneously in a direction that was not Orion or the Winter Hexagon. Then they shrugged as one and looked back up the path. “So, into the mountains we go, avoid the dragons, find the caverns... What god do you claim, exactly?” Midnight asked the other cleric. “Do they offer any help with divination or mines?” “My god is Kelogto of the Underdark,” Facet said proudly. “He is the god of miners.” “Good, good. So, we need you tossing down a detect secret doors as we get into the mountains, every few minutes or so, as long as we aren’t in empty fields. Do you have any other skills that will help us find the place?” “Kelogto is...less than pleased with my recent foray into woodworking,” Facet admitted sheepishly. “He’s communicating with me strictly through his servant, Smudge. But I know the language of the stone giants! If we meet one, I’m sure he’ll tell us where the caverns are located.” Sparkle looked a bit confused, before she shook her head and looked up into the mountains. “Woodworking... Okay, then let’s get going.” # # # The group had been walking for several hours when three brown bears emerged from a narrow gorge. They raised their noses in the air and sniffed. Sparkle, Carry On, Torn Deck, Burnished Lore and Facet all looked at the ranger. “Bears!” screamed Itty Bitty, diving behind the others for protection. It was easily the loudest thing they had ever heard her say. “Is that...really? Come on, try calming them down or something, I don’t want to hurt them,” Sparkle said with a frown, turning to look at the ranger. “That’s got ‘recklessness’ written all over it.” “No treasure, little experience...I’m with the sun cleric,” said Torn Deck laconically. “Oh, well...I’ll try,” the pegasus ranger said, stepping forward cautiously. “Hello, fellows…” she said. “That one’s the mother,” Hope pointed out helpfully. Itty Bitty gave her a brief glare, and then was instantly sorry about it. “What is it that you want?” she asked, turning back to the animals standing in their way. The largest of the bears sniffed, and then pressed his nose into Itty Bitty’s saddlebag, and pulled out a sandwich. “They’re hungry,” she explained. “Yeah, we kinda figured that out,” said Burnished. “I don’t have Create Food today, do you, Woodworker?” Sparkle asked, relaxing a bit as the bears seemed to be passive. “Nope,” said Facet, looking just a little peeved at the “woodworker” comment. “However,” she said, looking over at Burnished Lore. “I happened to peek at Mr. Lore’s spellbook and…” “And what?” Burnished said, scowling. “My spells are my business! Especially the ones I crafted myself.” “Such as?” prompted Torn Deck. The mage rolled his eyes. “...Such as Burnished Lore’s Magnificent Bowl of Plenteous Ice Cream.” Sparkle laughed, putting a hoof over her mouth to muffle it. “That’s...I like that, you’re pretty rad, Lore. Any chance you could pop some ice cream out of the Demi-Plane of Frozen Treats for these poor bears?” “I...I was going to save it for tonight, but very well.” With a flourish of his wings, he suddenly produced a sparkling bowl the size of a small trough filled with vanilla and strawberry ice cream. There was plenty of chocolate syrup and sprinkles, and a couple of candles were stuck into the scoops, sending sprays of prismatic sparks flying skyward. “I don’t suppose the bears would appreciate the candles,” he muttered, removing them. “That...is really rather magnificent,” Hope admitted. # # # After leaving the bears to their dessert—and soon afterwards stopping for lunch—the party continued, onwards and upwards. An hour’s journey took them to the aftermath of an avalanche that had destroyed half of the road. The party very carefully edged their way across the half that was left. “Hey, look down there!” Torn Deck said, pointing downwards. At the bottom of the ravine, a claw and part of a wing stuck out from the rock pile that had fallen off of the mountain. “Looks like a roc, from the size of it,” observed Burnished Lore. “I wonder if it was part of a mated pair?” The other members of the party kept their eyes on the sky for the next half hour, but nothing larger than a hawk was spotted. # # # As they came around a bend in the path, a giant stone pony stood in the way, his hooves spread to completely block all passage. He glared down at them, his head lowered. “Ha!” exclaimed Facet. “I knew taking that vocational language course would pay off!” She walked up to the giant, and engaged him in conversation in a foreign language. She said something polite. He attempted to squash her into the dirt with a hoof, but she easily dodged. “Do not be alarmed,” she called over her shoulder. “That’s how they say hello.” She raised a hoof and complimented him, possibly on his high density. The giant laughed at the pun. “This is surreal, I wonder if it has a circulatory system,” Sparkle mumbled, chuckling quietly to herself. Hope jerked her head over to stare incredulously at Sparkle for what she had just said—it was a very Midnight thing to say. Facet continued to speak with the stone giant, pointing in various directions. The giant shrugged. Facet pounded the ground in fury, but immediately afterwards composed herself. “A...momentary setback. I just need to inform him of the name of this particular mountain range, and he’s sure to remember where the Lost Caverns are.” At this point, Torn Deck and Carry On sat down to start playing cards. They eventually coaxed Itty Bitty into joining in. Facet pulled at her hair bun. “How could you not know!” she screeched, forgetting her language for a bit. “You said you just came out of there last week!” A few minutes later, their conversation was completed. The giant pulled a small—for him—tube out of a nearby rock and gave it to Facet, before sliding down the slope. Facet sat down wearily next to the card players. “I told him about a quartzite vein so he wouldn’t try to rob us like he originally planned,” she said. “He gave us a scroll he couldn’t read.” “Oooh, divine or arcane?” asked Midnight. “If it’s divine then...well, I guess that you could use it, Facet. I’m sorry about the ‘woodworker’ joke.” “Awww! Why thank you,” Facet said as she spread open the scroll. After looking at it for a moment, she frowned and used her magic to toss it across to Burnished Lore. “It’s for you,” she said. Burnished examined it briefly, with a surprised look on his face. “Shocking Hug, and...Big Bee’s Crushing Hoof,” he said. “I could use these. You have my permission to thank that stoney friend of yours if you ever see him again.” Facet frowned. “Yeah, I’ll be sure to do that.” Hope remained quiet through this exchange. Big Bee was one of Rigged’s siblings, that day when Celestia emerged from Kammy’s cave. He had been burned by the dragon, and healed by Rigged. She wondered if he had written that scroll himself, and by what series of steps it had ended up in the possession of a stone giant in such a desolate location. Sparkle chuckled as Bernie put the scroll away. “So, if someone used that scroll on you, Bernie, would that be irony, or repayment for many a crushed adventurer?” Oddly, Sparkle watched Hope as she said this, as though trying to hint something subtly. Burnished cleared his throat and walked past the others, using his wings to push them aside. “Let’s get out of here, Sparkle,” he said. “Let’s get out of here, Rigged,” Big Bee insisted. Hope narrowed her eyes and looked closely at the pegasus as he continued walking away from the group. She then turned her gaze upon each of the others. How many more of the Bees’ players are in this very group? she asked herself. Carry On just rolled her eyes, a scythe twirling in her wingfeathers. Hope did a double take. Where did that come from? she asked herself incredulously. She remembered that Winter Harvest had carried a scythe, but hadn’t seen it since before she had been possessed. “A quartzite vein?” Carry asked. “As though he would have had a chance to rob us. So! We need to get into those caverns...I don’t see an entrance ‘round here, so we go, right? My faithful team?” Torn Deck looked down at his cards. “But I’ve got a really good hand here!” # # # The party travelled a bit further before reaching a crossroads. The main path did a switchback from southwest to west, while two smaller trails led northeast and southeast. Carry was beginning to get annoyed with the traveling, and had taken to trotting with her scythe out, glaring at landmarks and features of the road, rather than letting out her anger on the team. Hope stopped. “Somebody else...I mean, somebody’s watching us,” she announced quietly, keeping her head down. “Above us, from the northern slope.” “Hmm...” Sparkle didn’t look up, but she did cast a spell. It shimmered around Hope, and the disguised alicorn had the curious feeling of her own protective magic being put around her by another pony. “In case it’s an ambush... Does anyone have eyes on them?” Sparkle said. Carry tried to sneak a glance upwards without being caught doing it. It was getting into the late afternoon, and the long shadows up in the mountains meant that there were all kinds of places overhead that could be cave entrances, but probably weren’t. The spark that Carry finally saw was from within one of these “caves”. The glint could just be some feldspar being caught by an errant sunbeam. The good news was, whatever it was, it wasn’t big enough to hide a certain black dragon. “Not the dragon for sure, but I can’t tell what it is besides that. Do we want to turn this into a reverse ambush?” Carry asked the group as a whole. Sparkle looked to Hope, rather than suggesting anything. “It already knows we’re here,” Hope said quietly. “So a ‘reverse ambush’ would just be asking for trouble. I suppose, if you insist on a confrontation, that the pegasi could try to get a height advantage…” “I’d...rather not,” said Itty Bitty. “I’d prefer we just camped,” said Burnished. “We’ve been walking all day.” Hope looked at the last of the party’s three pegasi. Carry sighed. “I don’t like the idea of waiting to be attacked, but...if we give them the appearance of being unaware maybe we can avoid any real fighting. Let’s camp.” “Oh dear,” said Facet. “Perhaps you should have informed me not to be staring vigilantly at that little hole in the mountain for the past five minutes.” The looks on Carry and Sparkle’s faces could only be summed up by the phrase “Why would you do that?” But they remained quiet. “What?” Facet protested. “She could have snuck out at any moment!” Hope blinked a couple of times in realization. “Facet, can you see what’s up there?” “Of course I can see what’s up there!” replied the white-maned unicorn. “Why would I waste my time staring at that unkempt little mare if I couldn’t see her?” “It’s a pony?” asked Torn Deck. “Yes,” said Facet. “She’s wearing a brown cloak and sandals. Well, she was before she retreated back into her little cave. She could be wearing anything right now for all I know.” “Okay, so we send someone up there to offer a peaceful meeting. Any objections?” Sparkle asks. “None,” said Burnished. “Especially if she’s running a bed and breakfast up there. I do not relish the thought of another night in my sleeping bag.” Carry slipped her scythe back into her saddlebag. Hope performed another double-take on seeing this, until she remembered the bottomless treasure chest that Soul Cleaver’s party possessed. After putting her weapon away, Carry On silently took to the air, arcing toward the mountain crevice. She landed a few pony lengths from the cave and called out. “My name is Carry, I come in peace. Take me to your leader and all that jazz.” “No solicitors!” cried out a weary voice, as a large wooden door was swung into position, blocking off the cave entrance. “I’m not selling. Maybe buying? Do you have things to sell? Um, I’m not gonna hurt you, I promise. My team down there doesn’t want a fight, we don’t want to get pounced on either...” “Not interested,” said the voice. “Not in buying, not in selling, not in fighting, nor in pouncing!” “What about in secrets? What about in the caverns?” Carry asks. “We are on an important mission!” “Not in secrets, not in caverns! I care not for missions inspired by visions!” “What about those inspired by an emergency? A great weapon needs to be removed from the path of a crazed horde!” The door opened, and an angry old unicorn mare poked her head out. “Weapons! That’s the problem with this world—too many weapons! Even I was a weapon once. But no more!” She pulled the door back shut. “No solicitors! Now go away!” “What color are her eyes?!” Hope cried out from down below. “But...we want to get rid of the weapon, ma’am. Ugh...Ma’am, what color are your eyes?” The door opened once again, and the purple-eyed unicorn glared at the floating pegasus. “That’s a mighty personal question to be asking me before our first date!” She then laughed madly and darted back inside. Carry tried to put a hoof in the open door to keep it open, but missed. She then called back down. “Purple! She’s purple eyed, is that important?” Hope had been using her “pegasus eye” trick the second time the unicorn had emerged, and had managed to get a good look at her. “I dunno,” she said, looking right at Sparkle as she directed her words at Carry On. “What does it say on her mailbox?” Carry On turned her head five degrees to the left to look at the mailbox that was there the whole time, and facehooved. “It’s...it’s Nestoria the Valiant.” “NOT VALIANT ANYMORE!” cried the voice on the other side of the door. “Geez, what are the odds?” asked Burnished Lore. “Isn’t she supposed to be at the bottom of a volcano?” “She always was tenacious,” Sparkle said wistfully. “Let’s go chat with her. It’s been a long time.” She started trotting up toward the cave without worrying about the rest of the group, though they reluctantly followed her. “So,” Hope asked Sparkle on the way up, “did Nestoria get anything named after her?” “Um...a mountain range, a lake that she once boated across in the dead of winter, the volcano she supposedly fell into...a few mentions in the Player’s Handbook...” Hope was a little amazed that every one of the pauses in Sparkle’s speech represented legitimate quiet moments, and not words that were being censored from her. It appeared that she was an adventurer after all. Then the earth pony considered the first part of what she had actually been told. “Really?” she asked Sparkle with a sarcastic tone. “They named the spot of her supposed death after her? How considerate.” Only then did she take in Sparkle’s final words. They have a handbook? I thought everything was in pamphlet form. By then they had arrived. “Excuse me, Nestoria? I’ve studied your adventures, and I would like to say in person, you were pretty rad. But how did you survive the Delicate Volcano?” Sparkle called through the door. There were a few moments of silence, and then the door was pulled open. The old mare before them looked extremely tired. “It’s a property of superheated lava that when subjected to magical stress, it creates survivable air pockets,” she said. “As a geologist, you’d think that somepony would know that!” “Well,” Sparkle chuckled. “This time ‘round I’m not a geologist. Would you mind if we came in and had tea? We are seeking a peaceful path through the conflict at hoof.” Nestoria’s expression softened. “How can I possibly say no to you?” she asked, letting them in. # # # A few minutes later, the ponies had made themselves comfortable around a small fireplace. An enchantment pulled the smoke through a little chimney to the outside. “Normally, I’d tell my guests some stories about my younger days,” Nestoria said, stirring her tea. “I imagine that would be a waste of time in your case.” “Yes, well...your stories are still beautiful,” said Sparkle softly. “They might not be necessary in this case, but...it’s nice to see you Nestoria, without even having to use a mirror. How have you been these last...” She frowned. “Bajillion years? How long has it been since the volcano?” Nestoria precisely matched her frowning expression. “It’s hard to tell. I haven’t exactly been keeping track since I found this place.” “Fifty years ago,” said Hope. “That was when the portrait at Bee Villa was painted.” She was taking in this entire encounter in a quiet awe, seeing a pony, and the alien who had once possessed that pony, having a civil conversation. “That long?” Nestoria asked. “I knew those healing potions the villagers used on me were good, but I did not expect I’d still be around fifty years after my prime! That was thanks to you, I expect. They were very grateful. I could have had seven or eight husbands from that tribe, if I wanted!” She cackled to herself for a few seconds. “Well, you were worth having, Nestoria. Those days...well, it was a different time. I’m a sun worshipper now!” Sparkle held up her golden sun pendant, smiling. “You mean you’re an open sun worshipper now. You always used to sneak little suns into the O’s in my signature. Like you thought nopony would notice!” Translation Note: Not actually an O, of course. Equish uses a completely different alphabet than English. More like a nicker than an “Oh” sound. Sparkle blushed and waved a hoof. “A more peaceful life in a way, being open about it. My time with you was much more exciting though. More magic explosions and sword swinging.” “Or magic sword explosions,” Nestoria said dryly. “Quenched Steel came out here once, to have me sign ‘Slicer II’. He swore that this one would last ‘one hundred whacks, or your money back.’ I gave him a piece of your mind.” Another giggle from Sparkle, as a bored Carry sighed, laying on the floor and staring at the ceiling. “Come on, we need to talk about the caverns eventually, this meetup can’t be all nostalgia. Heh, heh...‘Nestoria Nostalgia’.” “Oh hush, Carry,” said Burnished, looking around him at his remarkably cozy surroundings, given that they were once the sides of a literal hole in the wall. “I wanted a bed and breakfast, and this pillow here is as a close as I can reasonably expect to get.” “No, no, your friend asked for a story, so I guess I’ll give it.” The aged unicorn looked out into the distance. “This was...oh, right around when I moved in here. A damn fool party of adventurers...heh, heh, ‘damned’. I think you left that word behind in my head when you moved out! Anyway, they were little more than thieves. Tried to sneak in there and make a name for themselves. Passed this cave on the way in, and on the way out. There were four of them that went in, but...well, let me show you what’s left.” She got up and pulled a chest out from under her bed, removing a tattered piece of parchment. “This was all that was left of her journal,” she said, passing the page over to them. A fair portion of it was impossible to make out, thanks to tears, blobs of dried tar, or, in the two biggest spots...dried blood. “The small cave was the se?ret,” the readable portion began, “for in back, hidden by…” (This was the tar blotch.) “...and we descended. There was no certain path, so we…” (Hole.) (Another hole.) “...and this is told of above. For ?t was where Trotter and Scout met their fate. “Our persistence paid. The right way was beyond and narrow, so…” (Blood.) “...eam lies straight pas…” (Another part of the same blood stain.) “...pe the span swiftly to plunge to doom where the wat…” (Another hole, practically separating the parchment into two halves. A whole paragraph must have lurked within it.) “They were right. It is more dismal here than above. Only the two of us sur…” (Tar blob.) “We pray to the Forsaken One, that the lucky…” (Hole.) “...is true, for we are now going to attempt entry for…” (Hole.) “...of no help. I alone managed to escape.” The last paragraph is written in a more desperate style than the others: “Why did we…” Blood. So much blood. Only one word of a lengthy paragraph survives. But what a word: “...beautiful.” Sparkle set it down to let the others look at it, and sighed. “I’d rather talk about your past, than this one’s past...A dark incident for sure.” “Keep it,” the old unicorn said after Torn Deck tried to return the piece of parchment to her. “I...I remember sitting by the fire with my grandparents. I was the only filly I knew to have two surviving grandparents, and I was inordinately proud of that fact, like I had anything to do with it! I remember the year with the early snow, and how my brother Chalcidice built me a sled, that lasted over I don’t know how many rocks hidden in that snow!” She looked around her, and sighed. “And I remember looking around at this place, and thinking of all of the ponies that I had already outlived. It’s been...it’s been a really long time, and I’ve done a lot of really dumb things, only half of which you’re responsible for. But it was a good run.” “Well, I’m glad it’s only half,” Sparkle sighed with a smile, putting a foreleg around Nestoria’s withers. “But now...we have to go into the caverns, retrieve a crazy weapon of some sort, and get back out. Any tips? I’d rather not lose anypony.” Carry On had resorted to poking Itty Bitty in the side with a stick for entertainment. “The caverns are sitting on a hole,” Nestoria told them. “A space between spaces, leading into the Great Beyond. It’s where Eggswife pulled her power from...and her servants. That’s why the place is so crazy. There’s at least two levels to the Caverns. Oh, I suppose you have one of the maps?” “One of the maps?” asked Torn Deck, as Burnished Lore passed the piece of parchment to her. “Yeah, these things just pop into existence all up and down the valley.” She shook her head sadly. “I think you can probably figure out the reason,” she added darkly. She held the map over the fire for a few moments, as words began to appear in one corner: The horn of Eggswife Pierces the Heart— Look over your Shoulder Before you Start. How many Grieve? Foolish Colts, Because they Didn’t Turn back Then. “Eggswife’s Horn is the name for the tallest mountain in the range,” Nestoria said. “It’s dead south of here. The dragon lives on its peak.” “Which one?” Sparkle asked cautiously. “We saw two battling on our way up.” “The victor, I imagine,” the old unicorn replied. “The blue one that used to live there has had to find someplace else to live.” “Alright.” Sparkle embraced the elderly adventurer, and held her tight for a moment. “You see me coming back this way and I don’t remember you...give me directions to the city. But I’d better make it through,” Sparkle gave a daredevil smile, letting go and standing on her own. “You’ve never let one of us down yet,” Nestoria said. “If the world’s depending on it, you’ll pull through. Are you sure you don’t want to spend the night? It’s a bit cramped, and I doubt I have much that you would consider nourishing to eat...” “It’s plenty. Place to sleep without taking shifts, I’m down,” Carry said as she settled into a blanket that had appeared from her small saddlebags. Sparkle nodded and shrugged. “It looks like my group wants to take you up on your offer.” Nestoria smiled warmly. “It’s...it’s been a long time since any other ponies have slept here. Make yourselves welcome. But the bed’s mine, and I’ll wallop any pony who tries to take a piece of it!” Burnished Lore let out a raucous belly laugh. “She’s...just...like you!” he exclaimed. “Indeed,” Sparkle chuckled. “She's just like the oldest bits of me.” “You always had the worst laugh, Moldy,” Nestoria said as she settled herself beneath the sheets. Burnished looked back and forth between Nestoria and Sparkle, and laughed again. # # # Hope settled into her sleeping bag beside Sparkle. “That was very instructional,” she said quietly. “Thank you for giving her her respect.” “I think I should be thanking Cutbelt for giving me a chance to do that,” Sparkle said purposefully. “I’m betting that was probably a generic hermit in the original text?” She gave a small nod to Hope, followed by a raised eyebrow. Hope waited a moment for the party’s god to reply privately to Sparkle before speaking again. “I have a question: have you known any ordinary teams of ponies to take up adventuring in emulation of adventurers?” “Well, I know of players who take up more ordinary characters, but...tell you what, we will discuss all this another time, as I think the group is eager to get to the exciting bits of this adventure.” Hope Springs sighed. “Very well,” she said, and turned over to get to sleep.