Casus Foederis
© 2014 by Walter Reimer
Chapter 5.
“How WUDE!” the Equestrian Magitechnical Attache exclaimed as the Kudu guards leveled spears toward the Sultan.
“Quiet, Bell Jar,” Colonel Mess Kit hissed, “or we’ll get spitted too.” The pegasus looked to be about two seconds from flying away as fast as his wings could carry him. “Just you watch, though. Old Cross Purposes will get this sorted out, you’ll see.”
The Ambassador had shied backward perhaps a dozen steps at the Patriarch’s order. Now, he lurched forward the same distance to stand beside the Kudu leader. “Ahem, Supreme Patriarch?”
The antelope turned to glare at the unicorn, who flinched just a bit. Sparks Jacob’s Laddered their way up and down his horns as he growled, “What stupid pony want?”
“Er, that is to say, ah, that the Diarchy of Equestria will not . . . tolerate . . . “ His voice trailed off to inaudibility as he wilted like a rose in a bonfire under the Supreme Patriarch’s glare.
Yimbombollabu snorted contemptuously (401-k), muttered, “Stupid pony,” and addressed his intended victim. “Shaykh an-Baykh, prepare to die.” His guards readied their spears, their horns already sparking malevolently.
A few of the kudu in the crowd had ventured out behind the Camel procession to gather up the coins and gems scattered in the Sultan’s wake. Aside from that, the plaza was silent.
The Camel suddenly laughed out loud (133-t) and scuffed a cloud of sand and dust into the air. “Yimbombollabu, your troops are formidable, yes? But is your magic?”
A sudden bolt of electric blue erupted between the Patriarch’s horns, only to meet the glittering shield of sand and dust and dispel itself harmlessly. The Kudu snorted again, unimpressed. “You outnumbered, Camel. I take your head, decorate throne with it.” His sister looked bored and wandered off to sit with her ladies-in-waiting a short distance away. “Now you and all stupid Camels die – “
“Now, see here!” and both erstwhile combatants paused as Ambassador Cross Purposes stepped out to stand between the Patriarch and the Sultan. “Equestria will not stand for any war between the Kudu and the Camels!”
“Why not?” the Sultan asked. Bits of stucco and adobe ripped away from nearby buildings and formed themselves into a small force of quadrupedal golems, increasing the number of Camel guards to equal their adversary’s numbers.
“How - ?” Mulegan gasped.
“Camel magic can shape and manipulate sand and dust,” Reintief said. “And since adobe and stucco are made of sand – “
“They could turn the whole city against us!” Mulegan whimpered. “For the love of Celestia, do something, Reintief!”
“Why . . . well, it’s immoral, it’s detrimental, it – it’s – it’s not harmonious,” the unicorn stammered to a stop and looked back and forth at the two rulers. “Um . . . “
“What His Excellency is attempting to say,” Reintief said as the earth pony stepped forward, “Is that Equestria would not look favorably upon warfare between the Camel Sultanates and Kuduvania.”
“Then why doesn’t the idiot say so?” Shaykh an-Baykh demanded.
Reintief smiled. “The Ambassador is naturally self-effacing. One might say he was modest to a fault. However, the Ambassador makes a good point. The Diarchy would deplore any hostilities between their good friends, and as we are all intelligent and mature beings here – “
“Kill him,” Yimbombollabu growled, and one of the guards lowered his spear and charged at Reintief.
Cross Purposes whinnied in fright and cowered as the earth pony stood his ground until the spear almost touched him, then sidestepped it, seizing the shaft in the hollow under his right foreleg. He pivoted and drove the point into the pavement, eliciting a startled cry from the guard as the kudu sailed straight over the Sultan. The impromptu pole vaulter landed on the opposite side of the street on top of several onlookers. From the sounds of the scuffle, they were none too pleased with his gymnastic form.
Reintief twirled the spear and brought the butt to rest on the pavement. “As I was saying, as we’re all intelligent and mature beings here, I’m sure that some equitable arrangement can be worked out.”
Shaykh an-Baykh laughed. “I like you, Pony! I think I’ll save you for an equine sacrifice to Baron Sandy after I defeat this two-horned nuisance.”
Reintief said nothing, but instead started to whistle. It was a soft, dirgelike tune that sounded vaguely familiar to the ponies and completely unknown to the Kudu.
The Sultan, however, stiffened as tears began to well up in his eyes. His retainers almost dropped the magically-infused shield, one or two starting to openly sob.
“What in Celestia’s Name - ?” Cross Purposes said. “Reintief! Whatever in blazes you’re whistling, stop it! It’s irritating the Sultan!”
The earth pony obligingly stopped. “As you wish, Your Excellency.”
“Exactly. What was that tune, by the way?”
“It’s an old Camel ballad, The Battle of Akh-ni.” Reintief glanced at the Sultan. “Every Camel learns it in school.”
“What’s it about?” Cross Purposes asked, Interested Against His Will (800-b).
Shaykh an-Baykh pulled himself together with a visible effort and replied, “In the days before Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna led the armies of Equestria against the Camels at Akh-ni. By the time she was done, we offered to sacrifice our own leaders to her to make her stop.”
“Goodness,” Mulegan interjected. “But surely that’s just a legend? It was over a thousand years ago – “
“No, it’s all true,” Reintief assured him. “Ask the Princess sometime, if you see her. She’s still very proud of it.”
Before either the Ambassador or Mulegan could respond, Itchykitchykoo walked over to her brother. “What you wait for?” she demanded. “Kill him!”
“Silence. Him have magic – “
She brought a hoof to the side of his head. “And what have you got? Chopped hay? Fry Camel Sultan like plantain, or we invite him to eat dinner.” She squinted up at the Sultan’s retinue. “They eat us out of house and home, I thinking.” She leveled an accusing hoof at the box one attendant had placed on the pavement. “What that?”
“Is a box,” Yimbombollabu said.
That earned him another hoof to his head. “Idiot! I see that! What inbox?”
Her brother snorted at her. “Go ask, maybe die with Camels and stupid Ponies.” She gave him a disdainful snort and stepped forward.
“Hey, humpback!” Itchykitchykoo yelled. “What that in box?”
“This?” A thin tendril of magic coiled around the box like a snake, unlatched the box and opened it. “Just a pretty trinket,” the Sultan said as the tendril lifted an exquisitely-crafted gold chain necklace from the casket. A pendant of two sapphires flanking a ruby caught the rays of the sun as Shaykh an-Baykh brought it before the Patriarch’s sister. “Pretty, isn’t it?”
The Kudu’s eyes went as round as saucers as she gazed at the necklace. “Very pretty.”
“Then it’s yours,” and the necklace drifted higher and settled around her neck.
“Hah!” Yimbombollabu snorted. “You try bribe my sister to save your miserable life, Sultan? You shall die before the – “
Itchykitchykoo whirled and stuffed a hoof in his mouth. “SHUT. UP. YOU. MOUTH!"