"My head!" Humdrum exclaimed to himself, his head feeling like his brain was being pulled out with a pair of tweezers. Or was it like it was turning into one of those voodoo shrunken heads? The world may never know.
"Where am I?" Humdrum asked himself, feeling... could it be? Pillows? He felt pillows under his body, making him feel light and undressed. Which he soon found out was exactly the case.
"I'm... NAKED!" screamed Humdrum, picking up an orange pillow, sticking his head through it, and wriggling down so it covered his body. The feathers made him sneeze.
Humdrum quickly glanced around the room. He was alone. Where were Fili-Second, Masked Matter-Horn, Saddle Rager, Mistress Mare-velous, Radiance, and Zapp? Would they be naked too? Humdrum shuddered at the thought, and stayed in the room, alone. He only had one thought on his mind, his sad, confused mind, which kept worrying and spinning with the sudden crash of his body on the pillows, and with pure worry.
"It's all my fault," said Humdrum, hugging a pillow tightly, until his claws dug into it and a puff of feathers fell on his legs, making him sneeze.
"Watermelon!" said Humdrum, preventing the thirteenth sneeze in a row. Suddenly, Humdrum felt a shaking sensation in the ground. He, at first, thought it was an earthquake, but quickly realized that it was just the portal reopening for his friends. It looked like a crocodile opening its mouth when the portal sprung open. It was sparkling, and providing so much light the Humdrum covered his eyes with his claws, and shivered in fear. Not in fear of his friends, but fear of the curse that had seemed to impend upon him, trapping him in this unknown room.
Humdrum's friends lay on the floor, one on top of the other, their legs twisted and manes messy. Masked Matter-Horn, under the whole body weight of her five friends, dug her way to the top (accidentally knocking over Radiance, getting an undignified protest). She tried to stand up, but her legs felt like jelly. They were weak, and her eyes felt all groggy and blurry. And the weirdest part was that she felt cold as ice, like she was trapped in her own ice statue. Shivering, Masked Matter-Horn tried to use her magic to make rays of light appear. Her horn glowed a brilliant magenta color, like her cutie mark- wait. Cutie mark? Masked Matter-Horn's cutie mark was never visible under her-
"My clothes!" screamed Masked Matter-Horn, diving into a pile of pillows quite like Humdrum had done, only showing her deep purple eyes. "I don't have any!"
"Uh, guys? I don't see my suit," said Fili-Second, ready to dash around to the corner of the room to inspect it. But as she tried to dash, she didn't rush there as fast as she usually did. In fact, not even close to the speed she usually was in. She wasn't even running. Fili-Second was bouncing to the corner, fast as a normal pony without any super-powers. "And I'm slow! That's- this- what's happening, girls!?" gasped Fili-Second, trying to sprint around the room, only bouncing an emitting a bouncing sound which she really disliked.
"My necklace! I can't control the weather anymore!" called Zapp, flying up high, extremely fast, but not a single cloud formed in the sky as she did. "But I am wicked fast," she said, spinning, engulfing herself in a rainbow-colored tornado.
"And Ah don't have mah lasso!" cried Mistress Mare-velous, patting herself, searching for it. "Is there some sorta secret compartment? Or is it under mah hat? It's not!" she hollered, throwing the hat at Saddle Rager.
"And I feel mad that we might just have upset the balance with the ponies and animals in Maretropolis, oh, those poor little animals, but I'm not transforming. Is that... supposed to happen?" Saddle Rager asked Radiance.
"Girls, I bet my power is working perfectly fine! Just watch," said Radiance, tapping her right hoof with her left one. Three seconds passed. Seven. Twelve. Twenty-four. Thirty.
"NOTHING'S HAPPENING!" screamed Radiance. "This is the worst. Possible. Thing. That could ever. Happen to me!" Radiance fainted, bouncing back up thanks to the pillows.
"And my clothes are gone!" said Humdrum, grabbing their attention.
"We noticed," they all said together, sounding like a choir.
The girls jabbed on and on about what was going on, and Humdrum just sat there, trying to find out what was going on. He retraced his steps. They had been at the convention. He had been sent to read his comic book. He'd gone looking for a magnifying glass. He'd found one. He read the footnote. Wait, comic book? Humdrum looked at his friends, all looking either angry or worried. Even though his friends weren't acting like them, he was pretty sure. No, he was 100% sure. Maybe even 200% sure. Okay, he was 200% sure. He was 200% sure his friends had been turned into the Elements of Harmony.
"Holy new personas ponies!" screamed Humdrum over all the noise of the crowd, making his friends shush rapidly. "You're not yourselves, that's for sure. But that's because you're all somepony else. Somepony who matches you best. Most exactly, the Element of Harmony that matches you best!"
"My comic book! It was about the Elements of Harmony! Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity, if I'm correct. They're best friends who stop Nightmare Moon, Celestia's evil sister who had been imprisoned in the moon for over 1,000 years! Listen, if you guys are them, it means you have to defeat Nightmare Moon and turn her into Princess Luna!" exclaimed Humdrum, acting out as he went to see if it made what he was saying any clearer. It didn't. He tried again. "Okay, Saddle Rager, you're Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness. You love animals and live in a cottage near the Everfree Forest, along with your pet Angel Bunny,"
"You must have me mistaken with somepony else," said Saddle Rager. "I don't live near the Everfree Forest. I live in-"
"You don't get it! We were zapped into my comic book, and you all became the characters which inhabit it! What about you Zapp? You're Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty. You want to join an elite flying team called the Wonderbolts, and have mastered the legendary Sonic Rainboom. And you, Masked Matter-Horn, you're Twilight Sparkle, or Twilight, the Element of Magic. You know more spells than any unicorn does! And, SPOILER ALERT, you turn into an alicorn princess. But anyways, you're the princess's special, star student!"
"Princess?" wondered Masked Matter-Horn out loud. "There are no princesses in Maretropolis!" Humdrum slapped his face.
"That's just it! We're not in Maretropolis! We're in the Everfree Forest, where the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters was! We have to get to Ponyville, which is where you live," he said, making it sound urgent. Which it was.
"Who am Ah then?" asked Mistress Mare-velous, putting her hat back on as Saddle Rager passed it to her.
"You're Applejack, the Element of Honesty. You're an apple-bucker, as it states in your name, and you live with your brother, sister, and granny in Sweet Apple Acres, along with a million family members all over Equestria," said Humdrum, making his best effort to get the facts right.
"Equestria? What's that?" asked Mistress Mare-velous.
"It's where we are," said Humdrum.
"I thought you said we were in Ponyville,"
"We're in Ponyville which is in Equestria,"
There was a prolonged pause.
"I am just wondering, Humy Drumy, who am I in this... Equestria, is it?" asked Radiance, embracing Humdrum in an extremely tight hug.
"You're Rarity, a fashionista-"
"FASHIONISTA!? I like this already," she said, rubbing Humdrum against her body by mistake. Humdrum sighed, taking in the sweet smell of Radiance which he wouldn't mind smelling all day.
"Ooooh! Who am I!? Who am I!? Who am I!?" asked Fili-Second impatiently, knocking Humdrum over and out of Radiance's crushing embrace.
"You are Pinkie Pie, Element of Laughter,"
This just made Fili-Second crack up.
"Told you so," mumbled Humdrum.
"But Ah don't understand," said Mistress Mare-velous. "What's goin' on with this Nightmare Boom, and why do we need ter stop 'er?"
Humdrum wasn't sure how to explain the situation. He could tell them the whole story, which would just confuse them more. But summarizing it would too. He finally said,
"We're in the land of Equestria, where two alicorn pony sisters raise the sun and the moon every single day and night," started Humdrum. Fili-Second raised her hoof, waving it frantically to catch Humdrum's attention.
"Yes? Fili-Second?" he said in a bored tone.
"How do you raise the sun? I wanna do it!" Fili-Second held her breath. "Ngh! NNNNNNNNGH!" her face started turning red, and Humdrum thought she looked quite constipated.
"You need a horn. And a lot of strength. No common pony can do it," he said.
"Ohhhhh! That makes sense. My face hurts," said Fili-Second, rubbing it with her right hoof, as it returned to it's usual bright pink hue.
"Anyway, one of these sisters turn evil, and says that she'll never let her sister raise the sun, and keep the moon up for all eternity. She turns into a monster, yatta yatta, and then her sister and herself have this big fight, where Celestia, the good one, nearly dies. And she doesn't want to die, so she uses these mysterious Elements of Harmony on her sister Luna, trapping her in the moon for 1,000 years. Understand? Was that too quick?" asked Humdrum, watching Fili-Second's hoof back up in the air, beginning to wave and catch his eye.
"What are these mysterious Elements?" she said, shuddering as she said those last two words.
"I told you, each of you represent one. But I'm not up till that part yet! Let me finish!" said Humdrum, putting down Fili-Second's hoof as she decided to raise it up high again.
"THEN CONTINUE!" said Fili-Second.
"Okay, okay! So, 1,000 years later, on the Summer Sun Celebrat- What is it, Fili-Second?"
"Where's the bathroom?"
"Anyway," continued Humdrum, ignoring Fili-Second's question. "She's released 1,000 years later, and the only pony who knows this is Twilight Sparkle, that's you Masked Matter-Horn. And so, the princess who wasn't sent to the moon, Celestia, tells her to go to Ponyville and make friends. Those are the rest of you. And she embarks on this quest to find this castle we're standing in right now, which is where Nightmare Moon, the evil one, is, and to try and stop her. And while she does, she realizes that you guys are the Elements of Harmony, and that she's the unknown Element, and the Elements of Harmony appear, and you end up saving the day and all of Ponyville. Clear?"
"Okay, I'll be right back!" said Fili-Second, looking for 'She's released 1,000 years later, and the only pony who knows this is Twilight Sparkle, that's you Masked Matter-Horn. And so, the princess who wasn't sent to the moon, Celestia, tells her to go to Ponyville and make friends. Those are the rest of you. And she embarks on this quest to find this castle we're standing in right now, which is where Nightmare Moon, the evil one, is, and to try and stop her. And while she does, she realizes that you guys are the Elements of Harmony, and that she's the unknown Element, and the Elements of Harmony appear, and you end up saving the day and all of Ponyville. Clear?', which she had misunderstood as the location of the bathroom.
"What are we gonna do?" asked Zapp a few minutes later, when Fili-Second returned.
"Well, first of all, you might as well act as the ponies you are! If anypony recognizes that it isn't you, you could be in serious trouble, and'll get defeated for not being the real Elements of Harmony. And then-"
Humdrum stopped dead in his tracks.
"Humdrum? What is it?" asked Masked Matter-Horn.
"No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO MARETROPOLIS, NOW!" screamed Humdrum.
"We can't! There seems to be some sort of spell upon us, and we can't go back!" said Masked Matter-Horn.
"But we need to go back! Now!" He complained.
"Why in such a rush?" asked Saddle Rager.
"Because I just realized something," he said. His friends instantly gathered around him, waiting for the upcoming news.
"If you're the Elements of Harmony, and they defeated Nightmare Moon, but it seems that that hasn't happened yet... It means *gulp*," his forehead became flushed with sweat.
"It means that, now, you have to defeat Nightmare Moon,"
"So?" asked Zapp.
"So!? You're not the real Elements of Harmony! You don't know anything about them! Masked Matter-Horn is Twilight, the Element of Magic, and she can't even preform a spell to make light appear out of her horn. Mistress Mare-velous, you've lied countless times in order to defeat villains, and you're supposed to be the Element of Honesty! You guys don't represent them correctly! You guys simply aren't them!"
"Again, SO!?" said Zapp.
"If you have to defeat Nightmare Moon by being the spirits of the Elements of Harmony, and you aren't, it means that you can't, won't, defeat Nightmare Moon,"
"SO!?!" asked Zapp, irritated.
"The night will last forever..." said Humdrum, burying his face in his claws, feeling his eyes to begin filling with tears.
"We'll help. We won't let it happen. We can do it," said Masked Matter-Horn to her friends.
"We can't ruin the reputations of the ponies we're... roleplaying. We have to act as much as possible like them, and when the time comes, stop this evil Nightmare Moon. She seems pretty evil," said Radiance.
"So, we might as well start with names. Humdrum, what are our names? We can't accidentally call ourselves by our real names, can we?" asked Masked Matter-Horn. "It would ruin a lot of things, and just complicate our already complicated lives,"
"Pinkie Pie," he pointed at Fili-Second, who jumped with glee.
"Rainbow Dash," he pointed at Zapp, who spun in the air.
"Applejack," he pointed at Mistress Mare-velous, who crossed her legs.
"Fluttershy," he pointed at Saddle Rager, who ducked for no reason.
"Rarity," he said, pointing at Radiance, who flipped her mane and fluttered her eyelashes.
"And, Twilight Sparkle," he pointed at Masked Matter-Horn, who nodded.
"You're the Elements of Harmony," he paused for dramatic effect.
"Saviors of Equestria,"
"What's Equestria again?" Fili-Second's voice whispered to Saddle Rager, who shrugged.