The Conversion Bureau: Last Minute Thoughts

by Pencil Sketch


5th Thought: Doubts

Why was I panicking? Why the f*beep* was I panicking? This wasn't at all how I planned this all to go down. I just wanted this to get over with so I can have a second chance at life where my first one was squandered away. I'm scared, my hands and feet are freezing, and the only thing I want to do right now is curl up in a ball and cry myself into obscurity.

"What do you mean, child? Are you having second thoughts on conversion?" The princess would ask me. I must have looked like a scared animal to her. I could see it in her eyes. Pure pity, with empathy trying to seep through into my mind, trying hard to calm my thoughts.

No. There's nothing right now that could calm me down right now. Every pony has a special talent, and though I'm no pony, my talent is talking myself out of almost any situation.

"Ya, a few. I mean... I just don't really want to... Could I... Ack... Could I please have a moment to breath, outside? This is-this is a lot to take in."

"Take your time. If you feel your decision is rushed, please take a moment to clear your head and rethink your choice."

"Thanks, Your Majesty."

Got to get out now, gotta find an exit. Oh, hey, back door. Great, I can get out and not look like a fool.

The mildly fresh air's kinda nice, if not a little snippy regarding that I'm wearing nothing but a white bathrobe. Yikes, my legs aren't going to like this wind. It doesn't matter, there's no humans around to gawk and judge, and most of the ponies are either inside the bureau or immigrated to Equestria.

Major's Hill Park is only a short walk away, may as well find a spot to sit. Find a spot to relax, breath, and just think...

Why did I come here? To get away from those HLF psychos. No, that's not it. To find my family like some cliche fiction novel? No, I could care less about them. Why? Why did I come here?

Because my life up until now was uneventful, restricted, and outright wasted, all my own fault because I, like so many others, chose to hide in the comfort of home. If I didn't make the choice to come all the way out here on the spur of a thought, I would still be sitting about my home until power finally died, where I would then continue to sit and waste away.

Because I wasn't thinking things through. My thought skipped the part about the actual conversion, focusing more on what came after.

"It must have been a very lovely park back in its day, don't you think?"

Why do I let myself be surprised when a pony pops up next to me? It's getting old.

"I don't know, Your Highness. I was born after all the industry started polluting the earth... What are you doing here, by the way?"

"I make a point to make sure that everyone I come into contact with is happy. I want a kingdom that truly shines with the smiles of its subjects."

Excuse me while I stifle a laugh here and cover it up with a cough. Something about that line humoured me, as well as killed me a little on the inside. No one can make everyone happy all at once. There's always someone out there that is fairing a whole lot worse than can simply be cured by a smile or a joke.

"I guess I'm just scared, your majesty, I-"

"Let's start be dropped honorifics for a moment. My guards are out of earshot so long as neither of us shout. Just call me by my name and treat me as your equal. In fact, I don't think we've properly introduced ourselves. Just call me Celestia."

O-kay... May as well play along with the princess' game for a while. Can't hurt, can it?

"My name's Kenneth Baxter, but I prefer Kenny or just Ken."

"It is a pleasure to meet you then, Ken. Could I ask some questions of you?"

"Umm... alright?"

"Could you tell me a little about yourself? What you've done before my kingdom appeared to your world? A list of hobbies or ideas you have had? I'm particularly fond of hearing about any dreams and wishes you may have for the future."

Oh, damn, where to start, so much, so much...

"Well, I guess most of my time before Equestria popped up in the Atlantic was mainly me just getting together with friends and having a good time. Nothing major. Couldn't get a job after the bureaus started converting. Uhh, I like listening to music, and drawing and writing is very fun. As for wishes and dreams... I don't know what I want to do if I was to get ponified."

"And that's what scares you? You are uncertain of what your place would be among the masses. You wish to stand out and be recognized for whom you are?"

I give a shrug and cross my arms, maybe a nod thrown in to give her an idea that I'm agreeing with what she just said.

"That's not something you have to worry about. Every pony is vastly different than the one they stand next to, and I can identify them each by name with a glance. In fact... I do believe your father, Christopher Baxter, lives in a small town called Appleloosa, designing posters and newspapers, your mother, Helen, works as a sort of instructor of fitness, and your little sister, Amanda, or Cherry Cheesecake, as she calls herself now, got her cutie mark no more than two weeks ago for baking."

Wow... I must admit, I'm absolutely floored. I nearly fell right off the bench.

"H-how do you know them?"

"You sister once had the idea of sending me a series of letters, and one sample of her delectable cake. Mostly thanks for giving her a chance of discovering whom she was, but she spoke very highly of you. She would comment that you were very protective of her."

"She was my only sister. Seemed only right to make sure she lasted long enough in the world to pick her own feet, err, hooves, up."

"I share your opinion about little sisters. I have one of my own that would find difficulty in a world she never really understood. I missed her every day and night while I was separated from her. I suppose you worry about her."

"I'm always afraid she'd go off and make the wrong decision if I was away and ruin everything. Could I ask about her last letter?"

"Certainly, Kenneth. It was the average sort of letters I would receive from various fillies and colts about lessons they learned, or friends they made, but hers would always stick out a little from the piles with that nice scent of baked goods. If she keeps up her work, I would truly consider taking her as my personal baker. She was writing about how she was learning new recipes from the townfolk, how she was getting asked to make a cake for the town's anniversary, and that she wondered where her brother was."

"Oh... Umm, could I ask what kinds of ponies they are? Just to settle some curiosity."

"You father's a unicorn, your mother's a pegasus, and your sister's also a unicorn, but no matter which kind of pony you become, you'll find great adventures ahead of you."

"I always did take after my mum, so there's something to look forward to."

"I'm sure you would make a fine pegasus, if that is your fate."

Allow me to skip parts of the conversation, like much earlier, as we talk on and off about hobbies, aspirations, life back home... I successfully calmed down enough to think as clear as I could.

"I do hope you would consider me something of a friend, young Kenneth. I did enjoy this chat with you until you sun started to fall on the horizon."

"I did too, Celestia."

"Have you come to a decision? Do you feel ready for whatever path you choose?"

"Ya... I think... I think I'm ready to drink that purple stuff. I-I want to see everyone again. My family, my sister..."

"Let us go back then and prepare a glass of the serum for you."