//------------------------------//
// Who is the most unfashionable? 
// Story: Lyra vs. Bon Bon 
// by Alkem 
//------------------------------//


Lyra vs. Bon Bon

Who is the most unfashionable?





Back in living room of two familiar friends, Lyra's horn flickered with light as she hit the record button on the camera mounted in front of their living room couch. "Hey everypony, Lyra here. Bon Bon and I are getting ready for the next competition. This time it's an interesting one." She turned to the pony sitting to her left. "Bon Bon, you wanna tell them what it is?"

"Sure. Today's Lyra and I are—"

"Who is the most unfashionable?" Lyra yelled as she leaned in blocking her out of the shot.

"Really?" Bon Bon shouted, shoving her friend out of the way. After giving her a glare, Bon Bon closed her eyes, cleared her throat and looked into the camera. "Yes. This time me and Bon Bon are going to compete to see who can be the most unfashionable. In order to do that we've decided to make outfits and have them judged to see whose design is worse."

Lyra shook her head left and right. "Poor Bon Bon, you're at a total disadvantage this time."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I have a better fashion sense then you Bon Bon, so I've clearly got the edge this time."

"You do remember the competition is to see who the most unfashionable is, right?"

Lyra twisted her head to her. "Unfashionable? This just means I know what is considered unfashionable, so I still have the advantage."

"Yeah, well we'll see about that," Bon Bon said as she got up and left.

Lyra stared into the camera and pumped her hoof. "It's in the bag!"




Both girls were now in their rooms, hard at work on creating the greatest fashion faux pas. Pacing around her room, Lyra circled around a dress form. "All I need to do is put a bunch of junk onto a dress, that's simple enough. I just need to make sure Bon Bon doesn't make anything better, or worse." She moved over to her dresser table. "Okay, let's see what we've got to work with? Ketchup, check. Paint, check. Feathers? Check. Glue, check. Alright, this will be a good start."

Lifting it all up using her magic, she sent object flying towards her dress. Paint, chocolate, feathers and various other things splattered throughout her room as it bounce off or missed its target. By the time she had finished, what stood in the center of her disheveled, sludge covered room was something that would surely take the fashion world, their noses at least, by storm. Deeming her masterpiece complete, Lyra wiped off the sludge from her forehead. She went to the door, having a little trouble opening it with all the junk in the way, and stepped outside. Removing the clothing pin from her nose, she took a deep breath of fresh air and sighed. "Now that I've finished my outfit, let's see how Bon Bon is doing."

Tiptoeing her way to Bon Bon's door, she placed her head against the door and heard the hum of a sewing machine running. "Hi Bon Bon!" Lyra yelled as she barged inside.

She jumped in her chair, "Aaaaah!" wrapping her hooves around her work. "Lyra! Haven't I told you not to sneak up on ponies like that? Now what do you want?"

Lyra walked around the room, making her way around the bed, to the window and then over to the larger dresser in the corner, all the while trying to catch a glimpse of what she had made. "Oh just checking up on my bestest friend in Equestria is all. So, what have you made?" she asked, leaning against Bon bon's shoulder to get a look.

She slid to her away from her mint green roommate, hiding her dress under her forelegs on the table. "It's not finished."

Lyra leaned in again. "Come on, let me have a peek?"

"No!" She answered, sliding away again.

Lyra now rested her head atop Bon bon's fluffy, dark blue and pink mane. "Just a peek?"

"No!"

"I'll let you see mine."

"Noooo!"

Lyra suddenly found herself being tossed out the door. She fell on her backside as the door slammed shut behind her with the distinctive click of the lock following afterwards. "I've been friends with her forever and I still keep forgetting how strong she is," she said to herself, rubbing her sore flank.

With no more distractions, Bon Bon went to work on her dress for the competition. Meanwhile, listening in from outside, Lyra's confidence started to shrink. She heard noises the like of which no pony had ever hear of coming from inside. What unspeakable crimes against fashion is she committing in there? Could she actually beat me this time? Wait, what's that sound? Interrupting her thought was an ear splitting buzz. Is that a chainsaw? Her mind raced with all the possibilities of what was going on in her friend's room. But one thing was clear; if Lyra intended to win she'd need to devise a plan to beat her.




In the sky above, Celestia arrived to relieve Luna of her nightly task. Meanwhile, inside the home of two best friends, one little earth pony was already up and making preparations to head out. Bon Bon's door creaked slightly as her head poked out to see if the coast was clear. She breathed a hushed sigh of relief and started tiptoeing her way to the stairs. At the top of the stairs, she saw something down below, something that made her spine run cold.

At the bottom of the stairs stood a mare wearing a black top hat, matching tuxedo and a white mask over her mint green face. "You thought you could get away? Your crimes against fashion shall be punished." Standing on her back legs she pointed a rose at the end of her hoof up to Bon Bon. "I am the mint green void. I am the trendy mare. I am the beautiful rose. With corsage in hoof shall I reap the sins of your dress, and cleanse it in the radiance of fashion. I am Tuxedo Mare, your best friend has come!" Finishing her speech Lyra took off her mask. "I can't see anything with this stupid thing on. Now where was I? Oh right, Bon Bon get ready for-wha?" Looking back up the stairs, she saw that her friend had vanished. "Where are you hiding?!" Lyra cried out. "You couldn't have left the house so you must be upstairs somewhere."

Hiding inside the bathroom, Bon Bon sat with her back against the door, breathing heavily as she clutched onto her dress. Pressing one ear against the door, she heard the hoof steps of a crazed pony as she went up the stairs.

"Oh Bon Bon, where are you?"

She kept her lips sealed, hoping Lyra wouldn't find her.

"Maybe you're in, hear!" she yelled as she kicked open the door to Bon Bon's. "Huh, nothing."

Her heart was racing. It's okay Bon Bon, there's still two more doors. She's going to check her room first. That should give you enough time to figure something out.

"Well there are only two rooms left, my room and the bathroom."

And you'll pick your room first.

"I think I'll go with the bathroom."

Damn it!

Lyra stopped in front of the door. Bon Bon could hear the sound of her breathing on the other side. It's now or never. Taking a deep breath, she bucked the door.

Knocked out of its hinges, the door, along with Lyra, slammed against the wall. The tuxedo wearing pancake moved the door out of the way in time to see a pale cream mare run out of the bathroom. Using all her strength, she managed to toss a couple of corsage. They landed at the top of the stairs. Frightened by the thrown flowers, Bon Bon changed course and headed into Lyra's room.

Feeling as though she had been sucker punched in the nose, she was having a hard time breathing. "Dear sweet Celestia! How in Equestria did you sleep in her Lyra!" she cried, eyes watering as she covered her nose inside her friend's disaster of a room.

"For your information, I spent the night in the living room!" Lyra yelled back as she finished prying herself off the wall.

"All this for one competition? Lyra, aren't you going overboard?"

The door burst open. "You gotta go big to win big!" she shouted, tossing corsages everywhere. The flowers hit the sludge dress Bon Bon was using as cover and disintegrating on contact. Making a beeline for the door, she bolted past Lyra who was launching a flurry of decorative flowers her way.

"Your dress will look lovely!" she screamed as she used both hooves and magic to pelt her friend's dress. She turned, watching the mare head down the stairs. "Ahhhh!" she yelled, using her magic to conjure a wave of decorative flowers after her friend.

"Lyra you've gone crazy! But I'm still going to win!"

"Aaaahhyaaaahahaha!" was all she heard as she ran down the stairs. Jumping on the railing, she slid flank first as the wave followed right behind. Flying off the end of the rail, she slammed against the door, forcing it open. Tumbling to a stop outside, she looked back to their home. The wave collided against the wall, sending a steam of flowers gushing out the front door as well as sending a few flying out of the windows and chimney.

Back inside, Lyra watched through the window as her friend galloped away. She stood stoically next to the window with the chaos she created behind her. She pulled a rose out of her sleeve, pulled it up to her face and took a whiff. "Bon Bon my friend. You may have eluded me this time, but come judgment time they will see that my dress is superiorly inferior," she said, taking another deep whiff. She turned around, looking over the sea of flower that was everywhere. "Hopefully these things kill the smell coming out of my room."




It was judgment time and the three judges had arrived at Carousel Boutique, ready to begin. There was the famous big wig fashion hot shot from Canterlot, Hoity Toity. One of the most important ponies in Canterlot who sets trends wherever he goes, Fancypants. And last but not least, Ponyville's bright rising star in the fashion world, Rarity. They each took their seat, as Lyra and Bon Bon were in the changing room, making their last minute preparations.

Lyra looked over to her friend. "You nervous Bon Bon?"

"Yeah."

"Me too, but in a weird kind of way, this is the first time I'm worried about not impressing the judges."

"I feel exactly the same. Well good luck Lyra."

"Uh Bon Bon, you do know it's bad luck to say good luck right?"

"I know," she answered with a sneaky grin.

"Oh, you too then," Lyra said, smiling right back at her.

The lights dimmed and the judges watched as Bon Bon was first to make her way down the runway. Wearing a half short skirt half long dress with patches of various shades of yellow and stitch marks circling around it, she made her way to the end of the catwalk. She got up on two hooves and gave the judges a little twirl. The judges jotted down notes and whispered among themselves, taking notice of the bits of lace scattered throughout random parts of her outfit. Grabbing the long and short part of her dress-skirt, she gave them a curtsy before she walked away.

Up next was Lyra who unlike Bon Bon, simply walked out to the end of the runway wearing nothing and placed a gas mask over her face. Her horn shined and from backstage the dress form wearing her dress flew forward, making a plopping sound as it landed beside her. The judges gasped, cringing at the so called dress. They started leaning back in their chairs, pushing them back in order to get away from the pungent odor. With their table and chairs a safe distance away, the judges proceeded to examine Lyra's work. It didn't take as long compared to the mare before her.

After some cleaning up and opening of windows, Lyra and Bon Bon stood before the judges who had made their decision.

Hoity Toity started them off. "I've seen a lot of dresses in my time, some good and some bad, and I can see when a pony really tries their best. Bon Bon, you clearly made your dress from scratch, anypony can see that. And it's clear you really did you're best. In this sort of competition, that sort of amateurish flare will get you noticed. With that said, I wouldn't put that dress in any shop in Equestria."

"I do agree with Hoity Toity," said Fancypants as he leaned in. "I say, you've shown quite a talent here today young lady. Granted that talent won't get you anywhere in the fashion world, but the hard work you put into making your ensemble shines brightly."

Bon Bon, beamed with what she'd heard so far and now turned to Rarity for her final opinion.

"Now darling, you shown us all today what you can accomplish when you have no idea what you're doing. I mean the colors were eye gouging and I couldn't tell whether it was a skirt or a dress. Not to mention the bizarre placement of lace. It was a crime against all things fashion! But considering that is the goal here, I'd say you've done a simply beautiful job. Now please dispose of that thing, I can't bear to look at it any longer." She said, pushing her hair back with her hood.

Bon Bon dipped her head to the three ponies. "Thank you." She stepped back as Lyra approached the table. All three of the judges stared at her with a disfavoring look in their eye. Lyra smiled, taking it as a good sign.

All three of them struck a hoof down on the table. "We hated it," they said together.

"Woohoo!" Lyra shouted, jumping into the air.

Fancypants stuck his hoof out, cutting her celebration short. "I'm sorry my dear, but I think you misunderstood."

Still in midair, Lyra fell back to the floor and looked at the judges.

"You see my dear; we are to judge who is the most unfashionable. So when we say we hated it, it doesn't mean it's unfashionable."

"That's right." said Hoity Toity. "Our decision is based on who made the worse fashion faux pas, not whose dress is the dirtiest."

"What we are trying to say darling is that even though you've created something truly horrendous when it comes to smell, a simple wash can clear it all away." Rarity's horn started to glow as a gorgeous dress flew into the room. "You see, a simple wash and—"

"It wasn't that simple! That thing smelled horrible!" yelled a voice from Rarity's kitchen.

"Sorry Sweetie Belle!" Rarity yelled back. She then refocused on the unicorn before her. "The point is your work can be cleaned off. When it comes to fashion, a smug, be it big or small, can be removed."

Lyra frown, while behind her Bon Bon wore a giant grin.

"So this means…"




Back home, Bon Bon was reading a magazine while she relaxed on the couch. The sweet smell of fresh cut spring flowers that surround her made her victory even sweeter. "So, by unanimous decision, I won the competition. So that means Lyra has to do a humiliation. And seeing how she messed up the house, again, I figure a good punishment is to make her clean everything up without using magic. To make things worse, I remade her dress and she must keep it on until the house is spotless."

"This is hard, they're scattered everywhere. And this thing really stinks." Lyra moaned as she fumbled with a broom.

"Why don't you get Tuxedo Mare to help you?" Bon Bon mockingly asked.

"Can I at least get some help?"

Bon Bon sat there flipping through pages of the magazine. "I would, but first I want to finish this article in Glamare Monthly. Rarity told me there's something about me in it. Ah here it is, 'Top Five Fashion Don'ts'."

While she was enthralled in her reading, Bon Bon was unaware of a bucket floating its way towards her. It positioned itself just above her head and flipped over, dumping green sludge atop her head.

"Lyra!" She yelled, wiping off what she could from her ruby red face. Burning a trail through the flowers, Bon Bon raced up to her friend's room. As she burst through the door another ball of gunk plastered her face. "You're so going to get it!"

The house erupted with the sounds of their quarrel. Piles of the green slop coated the walls as the two of them fire gunk ball after gunk ball at each other. Their bickering eventually died down. Their yelling turned into laughter. The day ended with two friends working together to vanquish the mess they had created.

"Alright, let's keep things clean next time. Ok Lyra?"

"Uh, sure Bon Bon. Whatever you say."