A Princess and Her Queen

by kildeez


Chapter VII: Bad Dreams

3 WEEKS LATER

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Luna lowered her gaze from her beloved stars to her even-more beloved subjects. Her announcement that Nightmare Night was to be replaced with a glorious feast just completed, she scanned the ponies around her, fully expecting a round of applause any minute now…any minute…

“Did you hear that, everypony!? Nightmare Moon’s gonna feast on us!”

“WWAAHHHHHHHH!”

Luna dropped back to all fours as panicked screams echoed all around her, immediately switching to damage control: “What? No, children, no! You no longer have reason to fear us! Screams of delight is what your princess desires, not screams of terror!!”

Okay, this looked bad, but not something she couldn’t rein in. She just had to make a few gestures, talk up the local bigwigs, give them a chance to schmooze up to her, and all would be well, right? At least, that had worked in the past whenever she’d committed some sort of social faux pas.

Spying the mayor, the night-blue Alicorn strode up to her and offered her hoof. “Madame Mayor, thy Princess of the Night hath arrived!” She bellowed in her familiar Canterlot tone.

But the mayor didn’t even look up at her. She didn’t bow, kiss the hoof, or do any of the things ponies had done for her the hundreds of times she had met up with them. Instead, the smaller mare remained curled up in a little ball, shivering fearfully.

Her heart plummeting into her guts, Luna repeated the motion, offering her hoof up to the next pony closest to her, then another. The reactions were all the same. Quivering bodies, gasps of fear, hooves clamped firmly over eyes. It wasn’t Princess Luna they saw, she realized, but the Nightmare that had haunted their dreams for the past thousand years.

“What is the matter with you?” She bellowed, managing to keep the pleading tone out of her voice with years of practice and breeding. “Very well, then. Be that way. We won't even bother with the traditional royal farewell.”

She turned away from the townsponies with a “hmph!” and her snout in the air, remaining proud and tall, not revealing the icicle of pain shooting through her heart, not allowing a single one of the tears welling up in her eyes to reveal themselves, not portraying a single shred of the emotional turmoil wrenching her insides as she trotted away with the realization that nothing had changed. She was finally free of the moon, but she was just as alone as when she’d first been locked away. She still wasn’t seen as the beloved princess that her sister was. Worse yet, she was feared, even further away from ever knowing the adoration that her sister knew, the praise, the accolades…

...the love…

---------------------------------------------------------------------

“Princess Luna?”

“Hmm?” The Princess of Night opened her eyes in surprise, the memory dashed away by the rising sun. The royal guard poking his head into her carriage arched an eyebrow at her.

“We’ve arrived, Princess,” he said.

“Ah, yes,” she pulled herself off the plush seat and waved the guard on. He nodded and returned to his posting, allowing the doorpony to hold the carriage door open for her. She sighed and gazed upwards as she took her first steps outside after nearly half a day’s travel. The great spires of the Crystal Empire gleamed down at her, shimmering in the sunlight. Crystal ponies trotted by in the shadow of the portcullis, some staring wide-eyed at the sight of a Princess in their city, most simply trotting and galloping past, too occupied with their own business to even spare a quick glance.

As beautiful as the Empire was, it did little to improve her mood. Old memories of ponies running and cowering in fear (and for good reason, perhaps) had a funny way of doing that. Sure, she understood. It took time to overcome a thousand years of rumors and dark bedtime stories. Still, that didn’t change the hurt.

She scowled at the realization that the old pain was rising up again. She was a Princess of Equestria, for pity’s sake! She had faced down the worst villains her world had to offer, battles now in the history books were still fresh in her mind! Of course, that didn’t stop the ache in her heart, no matter how she tried to ignore it. It was even starting to show in her work: the moon’s rise was a bit more ragged with each passing day, and the stars came out with a jolting start, rather than their usual, slow twinkle. It didn’t take a shrink to figure out why.

Perhaps Tia was right, she mused. This vacation should do us some good, and mayhap we might even find the chance to do battle with yon bugs at some point! That would be nice, a good old-fashioned medieval clash of magic and swords might just be what the doctor ordered. Who needs therapy when one can just crush a few skulls?

“Princess!” A familiar voice rang out over the crowd. Luna couldn’t help but smile at it, genuinely happy to hear it again.

“Twilight Sparkle,” Luna embraced the little unicorn as she threw herself into her regal hooves. “So good to see you again.”

“And you, Princess,” Twilight said happily as her friends all trotted up behind her. Luna sighed with relief as all the old fear she once saw in their eyes failed to present itself. Even the little yellow pegasus stared up at her warmly, actually happy to see her, where just a few months before she could barely even meet the lunar ruler’s eyes.

“Celestia said you’d be coming, so I wanted to be the first to welcome you to the Crystal Empire!” Twilight announced as she pulled herself out of Luna’s hooves.

Luna’s smile deepened. She could see how this one, simple unicorn could hold such a close place in her sister’s heart. Twilight had been the one to give her a chance when no other pony would; giving Luna the tiny opening she needed to begin her reintegration into society. Still, it would be a long, hard road, and there remained ponies that looked over their shoulders at her with whispers of “Nightmare Moon” on their lips, but at least a few ponies had started to see a loving princess where before they’d only seen the wretched beast of their childhood nightmares. To think, all it took was a bit of love from a single unicorn with an open heart.

Oy, did she really just think that? Maybe she needed this vacation more than she thought. Who knew she could be such a sap!?

“C’mon!” Twilight took the Princess's hoof and started to drag her towards the Empire’s gates, watched over by a full platoon of crystal pony guards. “There’s so much to show you!”

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash, one of Twilight’s friends that Luna recognized as the little trickster from Nightmare Night, swooped into view. “You won’t be too busy with royal business to do a little sightseeing, right?”

“Right,” Luna said, a massive smile on her face. A little sightseeing sounded excellent just then. Around her, the six Element Bearers started on about the things they were going to eat and the views they were gonna check out and all the wonderful things there were to see in the Empire. At least, that’s what everyone but the pink one was talking about. Pinkie was going so fast she might have been recounting the signing of the Magna Carta for all Luna knew. A contented smile spread across Luna’s face. This week sounded like it would be a nice, long, and boring way for her to forget her troubles a little while and maybe do a little good for Equestria.

After all, between the Crystal Heart, Cadence and Shining Armor, and all six of the Elements of Harmony all in one spot, what could go wrong?

Luna frowned at that thought. Okay, perhaps she would keep an eye out. Just in case.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mama…"

The tired, bleak eyes of the aging mare before her rolled over to lock with her own, focusing for just an extra minute, as if even that was a serious strain for her. A quivering smile formed on those cracked lips, and for the first time since this whole ordeal began, Chyrsalis understood true fear. These were not the strong, loving eyes she had grown up with. These were…something else. Something resigned. The changeling princess gripped her queen’s hoof, tears rolling down her cheeks as she nuzzled it. “Mama…”

“My dearest little Chrysalis,” the Queen said, her voice like sandpaper being rubbed against itself. She stroked a hoof through the filly’s mane, letting the short tendrils of teal hair pass through the holes on her legs. “What is it? Tell your mama what has you so upset?”

Chrysalis could only sniffle and cuddle the hoof, her lip quivering.

“I know, hon, I know,” the older mare whispered, her voice harsh. “Come here.”

With a few shaky gasps, Chrysalis clambered up onto the bed, lying next to the dying mare, grateful they could be alone. The doctors were gone. They had done all they could, it was obvious now that the only thing that could be done was make her comfortable. The end was coming, when it would really depended on her resilience.

Chrysalis hugged her Queen and squeezed with all the might in her little body, as if she could keep her here if she tried hard enough. She sniffled. Even her little, filly mind could tell what was coming. Could anyling really be long for this world with a shell so gray? Or chitin so cracked? Or a grip so weak?

Still, the little filly in her refused to believe this was happening, still refused to accept the reality of what was happening, still thought that if she asked nice enough the grown-ups would fix this, because grown-ups could fix anything if you asked nice enough. “Don’t go, please,” she whispered. “I love you.”

“And I love you, my little Princess. And so does your daddy, even though he doesn’t act like it sometimes,” the mare said.

“Then why isn’t he here!?” Chrysalis bellowed. “If he loved you, he’d be right here, fixing this! Making you better!”

The mare squeezed her, holding her tight against her chest. “Your daddy is a busy stallion, Chrissy. He can’t be at the hive all the time.”

“He isn’t at the hive ever!” Chrysalis sobbed. “That’s why you can’t go, mama! If you go, I’ll be all alone, and I don’t wanna be all alone!”

The mare sighed; a low, trembling noise that reminded Chrysalis of the wind through one of the abandoned caverns she would explore in the kingdom’s border regions. Those places which had once held life, but now only held roosting bats, the occasional Ursa, and cracked silverware or abandoned hatchling pods: ghosts of what had once been. Hearing that sound from her mother’s throat sent shivering sobs through Chrysalis’s tiny body.

“Chrissy? You need to listen now, this is very important.” Chrysalis obeyed, lifting her head off her mother’s chest and meeting her gaze, ignoring the stabbing pain in her heart at the glazed, vacant look in her eyes. This was not the sort of look mama was supposed to have in her eyes. Mama was supposed to look strong and determined, or soft and loving, but not like this. Not like the old changelings in the retirement caverns when they knew their time could be measured in hours.

“You have to be brave now, Chrissy, okay? You know your responsibilities as a princess. Daddy will…” the Queen gave another empty, gasping sigh that rattled her chest beneath Chrysalis’s hooves in a way that terrified her, but she continued. “Daddy will try, but you’ll still have to be brave for him, okay? Can you do that? Be brave for me and daddy?”

Chrysalis sniffled, but nodded, laying her chin on her mother’s barrel as the hoof continued to stroke her mane. “I just don’t wanna be alone, mama. I don’t wanna be alone.”

At that, the mare did something Chrysalis never expected anyling in her position to even be capable of: she smiled. Not just that hollowed-out smile Chrysalis had gotten used to ever since her mama had been put in this bed either, but a genuine smile that for a moment lit up her face. For that wonderful moment, she looked like the powerful, invulnerable mare Chrysalis remembered, and the filly’s heart leapt at the sight. “Someday, my princess, you will meet someone who will make you feel like the stars were something they wove together just for you,” she whispered. Then the moment ended, and that tired look entered her eyes again.

Chrysalis let out a sob and hugged her mama closer, her little forelegs squeezing, trying desperately to hold on, to keep the older mare here, and most of all, to not let her go, no matter what might happen, no matter the weakening breath in the mare or her rapidly vacating eyes or the newcomer at the door calling over and over: “My Queen? My Queen…”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------


“My Queen?”

“What?” Chrysalis’s eyes darted open just as one of her subjects poked his little face into the cavern.

“We are ready, your highness,” the changeling said.

“Ah, yes,” she rose to her hooves, which quaked from hours spent crossed under her body. Her steps echoed in the massive cavern as she strode towards the entrance. She tried to grin wickedly along the way, like she usually did, but something inside her kept trying to turn the grin into a sob, and she couldn’t tolerate that. The changeling nodded and happily flitted away to alert his brothers and sisters to her approach, leaving her alone in the small cavern.

Alone. Always alone. She shook her head and cursed herself. “That was years ago, Chrysalis, get a grip,” she snarled, the image of that beautiful mare lying on her death bed playing itself over and over in her head. Why was that damnable memory rising up now!? Something to do with the cold, or the Crystal Heart? She pondered that, or maybe…

She paused, tallying up the years in her head. After a few moments, she nodded. “Yep, a hundred years to the day,” she sighed, shaking her head. “Happy death-day, mother.”

She turned to one of her reflections in the crystal cavern, looking herself over with her mother’s final words echoing in her head. Though she was quite beautiful by changeling standards, she knew what Equestria saw: a monster, a wretched thing that needed to hide behind masks just to walk their streets. A thing that fed on love like some kind of vampire, stealing it away, which was ridiculous! Love was to changelings what the sun was to a blade of grass! Did the sun dim because the grass fed on it!? Of course not! It was just another rumor spread by those little, xenophobic…

She sneered. Yes, there we go. There was the anger she needed!

“Your Highness?” The changeling poked his head out at her again.

“Coming,” she hissed, stalking out of the caverns like the apex predator she knew she was. Yep, an invasion of Equestrian territory was just what the doctor ordered. She couldn’t do Canterlot again, of course, the city was almost certainly still fortified from her attack on the royal wedding. She would need someplace with fewer defenses, someplace that might just be recovering from a crisis all its own. The Crystal Empire fit the bill perfectly. As the latest addition to Equestria, its defenses were low, still recovering from a thousand years’ isolation and ex-King Sombra’s siege. Better yet, it was far enough from the rest of Equestria that she knew any response from Canterlot would be delayed, giving her time to consolidate her grip on the city and set up defenses. Then her infiltrators had returned with news that the Elements of Harmony were vacationing in the Empire, and that the Princess of Night would soon be joining them, and immediately it became too tempting a target to resist. Especially with the plan she had.

She remembered the day of Sombra’s defeat, watching pure, crystallized love radiate from the city, and yet when it washed over her…oh, the taste! The strength! And hey, her shell didn’t look so bad crystallized! It was pure luck that she’d been strolling through the frozen wastes, curious to see the so-called “city of crystal” for herself. And after a little bit of research into the Empire’s history, she suddenly had it: a total game-changer. A weapon charged with the love of an entire city. And with that under her wing, what could stop her?

Plans were drawn up, soldiers mobilized, infiltrators were sent to spy on every level of the crystal ponies’ society, and the Elements were monitored. Now, as she stood before her people, an army gathered in the middle of a humongous cavern, ready to burst up right beneath the crystal pony’s hooves, she knew everything was about to come to fruition. She knew she was about to exact her revenge upon everypony that had ruined her plans before, from that infuriating Twilight Sparkle to the couple who’s love magic had last thrown her out of Canterlot.

Oh yeah, there we go! There was the fire she needed! As she gazed out over the crowd of changelings looking up at her expectantly, she grinned. They all grinned right back. Her high generals stood in the front, one holding a half-eaten maggot from the Hive, his mouth hanging open in awe. Every changeling beneath her believed in every one of their little black hearts that she was about to say something incredible, something awe-inspiring. She aimed not to disappoint.

Suddenly, Chrysalis hunched her shoulders, letting a tired sigh pass by her lips. The changelings looked on in confusion, staring at her, then at each other. Only the older veterans shared a knowing grin. They recognized this old ploy, though Chrysalis hadn’t used it in a while.

“I’m sorry, my changelings,” she rasped. “I’m sorry, I’m just so tired.”

A few moments of silence passed, during which some of the braver in the crowd called up a few sympathetic chirps. Chrysalis sat on her haunches, her shoulders rolled forward, allowing the whispers to reach a fever pitch in the crowd.

“I don’t know, my changelings, perhaps we should just go home,” she sighed, turning as if to trot out the cavern again. “Perhaps we should learn when we’re beaten. Perhaps it’s time to throw in the towel and let the ponies have their light.”

A few shocked cries made their rounds through the crowd. Most of the changelings just sat there, dumbfounded. Some even fell over in place, barely able to support themselves in their shock. Finally, one voice cried out: “NO!”

Chrysalis’s ear perked. She kept her head bowed to disguise the grin cracking across her face. That had been just what she was waiting for. “Do I hear a ‘no’?” She asked, facing the crowd again. “So…you want to try again, my changelings?”

A decently-sized group of “yeahs” filled the cavern, a few of the changelings wearing the sorts of smiles you only saw on a creature hyped and ready for battle, made all the more intimidating by their gleaming, sharpened fangs.

“So…you think a species that has predated upon the ponies for centuries has a chance at winning the day?”

More enthusiastic yells, with a few whoops added in for good measure.

“So…you believe that the only kingdom in Equestria to remain free of Discord’s chaos during his breakout is destined for greatness!?” Her voice rose slightly, projecting enough to boom throughout the caverns.

More whoops, more whistles, and excited chittering from the greenest recruits.

“Then you believe that a nation which pre-dates Equestria and has continued to exist despite all the odds stacked against it can prevail in spite of past failures!?”

The cheers were accompanied with hoof-stomps this time, along with enthusiastic battle-cries which boomed off the walls.

She was screaming now, her voice carrying throughout the caverns with a power gained from years of experience. “Then you believe that when the dust has settled, it is the changelings that will rule all!? That the hardiest of species, not the friendliest, deserves to rule the world!?

The crowd went insane with cheers and yes’s. Chrysalis extended her hooves outward, basking in the rolling waves of rising testosterone, the feel of a thousand hoofbeats stamping together. It was intoxicating, and she still had to deliver the final blow.

And you believe with the right amount of love, with the love of an entire empire focused in one place, that species is capable of anything!?

“YEAAAAHHHHH!” The crowd bellowed as one. One heart. One voice. One beat. These moments were the ones she lived for. These were the times when it was only too wonderful to be the Queen of the Changelings.

“Then go!” She roared. “Go and show them we will not break and shatter, we will not journey off into the dark to lick our wounds and cry! Go and show them the might of a real apex predator!”

The sound of a thousand beating wings filled the air, a thousand beating hearts: the beautiful noise of a swarm on the wing, ready to overwhelm all that might stand in its way. She threw up her hooves and cackled amidst the wingbeats of her children, the changelings flooding into the air completely engulfing her. It was so wonderful, so perfect, so completely at her command, so…so…

You’d be so proud, mother…

Dammit, it just had to come out, didn’t it? Despite her best efforts, the thought she’d been fighting back had surfaced, and now there was nothing for it. She sneered angrily and retreated to her caverns as the first tears, the first of many, started rolling down her cheeks. She growled, angry at herself for still feeling this way. “Dammit, Chrysalis, that was years ago, get over it!” She roared at herself once she knew she was alone, and still the tears came.

Dear gods, whoever said time heals all wounds should have been beaten for their idiocy. No, all time did was scar the wounds over, make them hurt a little less, but still liable to open up again with the proper prodding. Of course, it certainly didn’t help that her mother’s death was only the beginning of those dark, terrible times…

“Shut up,” she whispered, her head cradled in her hooves. “Shut up, shut up, shut up.”

This was so wrong. She was Chrysalis, queen of the changelings! That scared little filly was gone! She just needed a few moments to remind herself of that, and she’d be right as rain! She’d be the Queen her changelings needed her to be…

Unfortunately, not every changeling was so willing to give her that time. High-General Chickit, for instance, watched his Queen’s back as she stifled another series of sobs, her shoulders heaving with the effort. “Just like your mother,” he whispered under his breath as he turned and trotted away to join his Praetorians. “Ah well, nothing for it now. You brought this on yourself, Chrysalis.”