After saying his goodbyes to Thor, Tony leaned back to look down at Rainbow Dash, who was once more sitting happily on the examination table, staring up at him adoringly. "Okay, JARVIS, what now?"
"Your inquiry is rather vague," the computer pointed out. "Do you mean what now in general, what now in regards to investigations regarding Rainbow, or what now in regards to today?"
Tony rubbed his chin. "All three, but let's start with today. I mean, I've got a tiny Pegasus filly here from who knows where who sees me as her father. I wasn't exactly planning on parenthood any time soon, so I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with her."
"Hug?" Rainbow offered helpfully, holding up her forelegs.
Smiling, Tony scooped her into an embrace. "While enjoyable, it's not a very productive suggestion." He felt her stomach rumble against his chest. "Was that hunger or indigestion?"
As he set Rainbow back down, she rubbed her tummy. "Hungy..."
Tony nodded. "I don't suppose you can tell me what you eat?" he asked hopefully.
Rainbow looked up at him in confusion. "...food?"
He stared at her flat-eyed. "Can you be more specific? What kind of food?"
Rainbow scratched her head, her face screwed up in concentration. "...tasty?"
Tony sighed. "JARVIS?"
"Perhaps calling down to the kitchens for a wide variety of food in small portions?" the computer suggested. "With any luck, we'll determine her preferred diet by trial and error."
Tony nodded. "Alright. Have the kitchen send up a little of everything we've got." He turned back to Rainbow. "What should we do until the food gets here?"
"What ghost voice?" Rainbow asked.
"Ghost voice?" Tony repeated, momentarily confused. "Oh, you mean JARVIS? He's the artificial intelligence computer I have here, linked into all the computers in the tower and my houses."
"Where?" Rainbow inquired, looking around.
"I am in all the machinery around," JARVIS replied.
"...where face?" Rainbow wondered.
"I do not have a face," JARVIS explained.
"Why not?"
JARVIS was quiet for a time. Eventually, the quiet became oppressive.
"Alright!" Tony relented finally. "I'll work on giving you a physical projection so you can put a face to your voice."
"That will be a unique experience," JARVIS commented.
Moment later, various mobile mechanicals exited the elevator, carrying a number of covered trays. The trays were conveyed to the table, where they were set down and uncovered, revealing a number of small portions of everything from filet mignon to filet of sol, from eggplant parmesan to eggs benedict, from apple strudel to avocados.
"Alright Dashie," Tony said with a relieved sigh. "Eat whatever you like." As Rainbow flew over to the food, he continued, "JARVIS, record observations."
"Recording."
Tony watched Rainbow sample the dishes as he spoke. "Subject Rainbow Dash's diet, assuming she knows what is and isn't okay for her to eat, seems to consist mostly of fruits and vegetables, although she also eats heavy grains, eggs, and fish. She seems to dislike red meat and chicken, although her body shows no signs of rejecting it. She also shows a great fondness for sweets. As far as beverages, water, milk, and fruit juices seem perfectly fine. Her preferred diet would appear to be lacto-ovo-pescetarian. ...she is also eating the flower centerpiece."
"Flowah tasty!" Rainbow said happily.
Right at that moment, one of the windows shattered explosively inward as a large, heavily muscled green figure burst in, landing heavily on the floor, shaking the entire room.
"Hulk!" Tony shouted in surprise. "What are you doing here? Why'd you come in through the window?"
"Doc detect stuff," Hulk explained, referring to his other persona of Bruce Banner. "We come check for danger."
Tony sighed. While it was good for Bruce and the Hulk that the two personalities had come to a truce of sorts after joining the Avengers, the Hulk was never exactly easy to deal with. "By stuff, do you mean the dimensional anomaly not too long ago?"
Hulk nodded. "Stuff!"
Tony rubbed his head. "Well, it's nothing to worry about. I have everything under control."
"Okay." Turning, Hulk saw the spread. Walking over, he grabbed a few trays of food and downed them, trays and all.
"Hey!" Rainbow complained, buzzing up into his face. "My food!"
Hulk chuckled. "Hulk's food now!" he said, reaching for a cake.
"I kick you butt!" Rainbow announced, zipping rapidly around him and kicking him repeatedly with all four hooves.
Hulk reached over and caught Rainbow in one massive hand. "Tiny pony fly fast," Hulk said. "Hulk make fly very fast!" He pulled his arm back.
"Hulk, don't!" Tony shouted. "She's just a-"
Hulk threw Rainbow towards a window. The window shattered. There was a massive explosion.
Sometime later, as Tony blinked to clear his eyes, he spoke. "JARVIS...what just happened?"
"Recounting events," JARVIS began. "When the Hulk threw Rainbow Dash, her body began generating energy that shaped a protective barrier around her form as her speed increased towards Mach 1. This protected her both from the window - which shattered before she impacted it - air friction, and g-forces. This field also allowed her to gain velocity in excess of what is allowed by physics as it is currently understood. When she exceeded Mach 5, the energy her body was generating underwent an explosive surge, represented by a vertically expanding circle of Rainbow colored light, shattering every window on this side of the building and cutting a gouge in the street below. A rainbow colored contrail also remains suspended in the air behind her for a great distance."
Tony stared out at the distant speck of Rainbow Dash. "Well, I hope she has the strength to come back-" He let out a startled oath. "JARVIS, did she just make a right angle turn upwards at those speeds?"
"Negative," JARVIS countered. "Scans show she executed a 91 degree turn into a parabolic course at a single point in the air, maintaining speed as she did so and suffering no after effects from the g-forces involved. Her arc will have her coming in for landing soon."
Rainbow finished her arcing flight as she came in for a landing on the table, burying her face in the contested cake from earlier. A seemingly solid rainbow arced through the sky to trace her path.
Hulk reached forward and grabbed the end of the rainbow as it disconnected from Rainbow. Finding he was able to grasp it, he pulled it towards his mouth and took a bite. "...spicy." Hulk lipped his lips. "Hulk like!" Sticking the end in his mouth, he then proceeded to slurp the rainbow up like an incredibly long noodle.
"JARVIS?" Tony asked, his voice on the verge of panic, "explain?"
"The rainbow contrail left behind by this feat appears to be pure energy of the sort she generates in flight, stabilized in a physical form." JARVIS was silent for a time. "I am unable to determine how or why the material energy is edible. I would not recommend attempting to duplicate the Hulk's actions."
Hulk smiled as he slurped up the end of the rainbow. "Hulk like!"
"Again!" Rainbow yelled happily.
Grinning, Hulk grabbed Rainbow and threw her out the window again, creating the same effect as before.
"I have done a deeper analysis of the energy given off by Rainbow Dash during this event," JARVIS spoke up.
"We need a name for this...whatever it is," Tony pointed out. "Hmm...it's like a sonic boom, but it makes a rainbow...let's call it a Sonic Rainboom for short. So what have you discovered, JARVIS?"
"The energy of the Sonic Rainboom appears to have identical wavelengths to part of the energy given off by the dimensional anomaly that Rainbow Dash arrived in."
"So the Sonic Rainboom played a part in her getting here?" Tony asked. "Then in time, it could be the key to figuring out where she came from."
"There is more," JARVIS continued. "It is also the same wavelength that the Ten Rings have in common."
Tony frowned. "...I see."
As Rainbow returned from her second assisted Sonic Rainboom, she giggled as she watched Hulk slurp up the rainbow from her perch on his shoulder. Once he finished slurping it up, she nuzzled his cheek. "Again!"
"Okay!" Hulk said happily, picking Rainbow up again.
"Wait!" Tony said, running in front of Hulk. "When you do that, Rainbow gives off energies similar to the Rings of the Mandarin! If you keep doing it, he might pick up the energy signal and come looking for her!"
Hulk blinked. "Angry green orange man want hurt tiny pony?" he parsed.
"If not hurt, he'd likely try to find a way to use her to make his Rings stronger," Tony pointed out.
Hulk snarled. "Hulk not let angry green orange man hurt tiny pony! Hulk break angry green orange man if he tries! Hulk strongest there is!" To emphasize his point, Hulk brought his fist down on the table, smashing it to bits.
Rainbow stared at the ruin of the table. "So awesome!" she squeed.
Tony stared at the remains of the table for a moment, then turned back to Hulk. "There's no telling when he might show up if he did detect the Rainbooms."
"Then Hulk stay!" Hulk insisted. "Hulk protect little pony!" Taking Rainbow in one massive hand, he stroked her mane with one finger of his other hand. "Pony cute."
"Not cute," Rainbow pouted. "Awesome!" Hulk merely chuckled.
Tony blinked for a bit. "Hulk...are you saying you want to hire on as Rainbow's bodyguard and...nanny?"
Hulk snorted. "Hulk not nanny!"
"Nanny?" Rainbow gasped, her eyes wide as she smiled up at Hulk.
Hulk stared at that face for as long as he could before the distilled adorableness broke him...exactly 3 seconds. "Fine! Hulk be nanny."
"Look paht?" Rainbow suggested, just as excited as before.
Hulk groaned.
Pepper Potts finally stepped out of the stairwell at the top floor of the tower, the elevators having been knocked out by whatever experiment of Tony's that had created that rainbow explosion. She stormed up to his office, ready to give him several pieces of her mind. What she saw when she swung the door open, however, left her stupefied.
Rainbow Dash and Tony stood on one side of the room, Rainbow suppressing giggles and Tony looking thoughtful. Following the line of their gazes, the reason for their reactions was obvious, as the Hulk filled the other side of the room...wearing a French maid outfit.
Tony finally spoke up. "Maybe the Mary Poppins look would work better."
Hulk tugged at the maid outfit. "But...this make Hulk feel pretty. Hulk...like feel pretty."
Rainbow Dash fell on her back, laughing uproariously as she rolled back and forth.
Pepper leaned against the wall. After a time, she sighed. "It's going to be one of those days," she said at last.