//------------------------------// // Rowing Boats Red // Story: Appledashery // by Just Essay //------------------------------// The unicorn blinked atop her levitating wheel platform. “Sunset Shimmer!” she barked. Rainbow continued to squint. “Who?!?” “Sunset Shi—snkkkt!” She snarled, leaning over with a frown. “Doesn't Princess Celestia ever talk about me?!” “Why? Is her dog missing?” “I was her special apprentice for three years!” “And you ended up in this place?!” “She suffocated me with ridiculous notions of friendship and harmony!” “Obviously not enough, since you're still breathing.” “Celestia is the reason my magical potential was persistently held back!” Sunset Shimmer growled. She shook a hoof while more and more wheels rotated around her. “I could have become Equestria's Sorceress Supreme! I could have ascended to take the throne of Luna the Betrayer! Tartarus, given enough time and study, I too could have become a Princess!” “Hah!” Rainbow grinned. “That would be rich!” Daring smirked over at her. “Who ever heard of a unicorn sprouting wings?!” “Hey!” Rainbow cackled. “It's 'Alicorn Discount Week' at Barnyarn Bargains!” “Yeah! Haha! Be the first fifty to arrive and win a free tiara!” “Snkkkt—Heeheehee!” “Grrrrrrr!” Sunset slammed her hooves, causing the central axes of every wheel to flicker “I refuse to believe that none of you have ever heard of me!” “Sorry, girl,” Rainbow droned. “But I can't recognize the face. Maybe if... I dunno... you put on sexy glasses or something?” “Oooh! Ooooh!” Pinkie waved a hoof. “I've heard of you! Me me me!” “Finally!” Sunset pointed with a grin. “Somepony with some decent taste—” “Oops! I'm sorry!” Pinkie blushed, teeth grinning. “I-I was thinking of 'Sunset Sarasparilla!' Heeheehee—Snkkkt! That stuff's good!” “At least my sister's got the 'decent taste' part right.” “Grrrrrrrr!” “Wheeeeeeels...” Trixie drooled. Rainbow pushed her aside as she stepped up to the edge of their platform. “Okay, look, Straight Shota—” “Sunset SHIMMER!” “...whatever.” Rainbow cleared her throat. “You do realize that glimmering tail-thingy in your grasp is really a death trap waiting to happen, right?!” “Pfft! What do you mean?!” Sunset spun the granite statue piece around her with a wicked grin. “I've never felt more empowered! With this at my disposal, all of Equestria will bow down to its one destined ruler!” “Yeah, you said that part already! But listen!” Rainbow frowned. “Being around that chaos thingy is only going to corrupt you! Like... super hard!” “You telling me she's not already corrupt?!” Daring gawked. “Look at that... th-that thing! Yellow coat. Red hair?! If you gave her orange eyes, a pony would be liable to pull a wagon up to her and ask for burgers and hay fries!” “You see?!” Sunset pointed. “It's insolence such as this that I wish to crush under my boot!” “Boot?!” “Hoof! Whatever! Look, peasants, I've been to places, you hear?!” “Your mouth certainly knows some mileage.” “And, quite frankly, I don't care what adverse effects the key to my victory may have on me!” Sunset grinned wickedly. “With this sort of power at my control, so what if I lose my previous form?! I will have evolved... and Equestria will undergo a glorious transformation with me!” “...through wheels,” Daring muttered. “Well it certainly beats my first plan!” “Which was what exactly?” “Teenage high school zombies from another dimension!” Rainbow opened her mouth... fumbled for words... and ultimately said. “Look, I think there's been a mixup.” She pointed at Trixie and her glowing eyes. “We were the ones who rolled in here with a living vegetable. What's your excuse?” “Bah!” Sunset hissed. “Scoff all you want! Don't make me turn succubus on you!” “Lady, you're a peach and a half!” Rainbow grumbled. “And I've chewed on bigger and baddier baddies than you in my sleep! So why don't you get off your high... d'uhm... wheel?!” “Yeah!” Daring frowned. “Just how in the hay do you even plan on taking over Equestria with big dumb rock wheels anyway?” “Just. Like. THIS!” And with a pulsating beam from her horn, she commanded four wheels to sail down at the platform. The four ponies instantly ducked, with Maud yanking down Trixie at the last second. SMASSSSSSSSH! A chunk of stone and cave rock exploded behind them. “Woohoo!” Pinkie hopped to her hooves. “Dodgedisc! I love it!” Meanwhile, Rainbow was glaring at Daring. “You just had to ask, didn't you?!” “Yeah, and?!” Daring shrugged. “I needed to flesh out the villain's motivation for the third act of my book!” “Oh, for the love of fuzz!” Rainbow snarled. “I am going to buck you sideways with a chainsaw!” “I'm not that easy!” “The rocks of death return,” Maud droned, her voice swiftly cut off by the whistling wind of muderous wheels sailing at them. “Run away!” Rainbow hollered, and all four ponies scampered off under the sound of Sunset's maniacal cackling. Only Trixie remained, teetering and drooling. Maud zipped back, calmly grasped both of Trixie's shoulders, and hoisted her off in time to avoid more pounding discs. TH-THUDD!