Chapter 21
Second Opinion
“Now what?” flustered Applejack cried. Rarity and Fluttershy had both broken down weeping in despair again, huddled together for consolation in the corner. Spike and Blaze were trying to talk over each other in a panic so I couldn’t decipher what either one was saying. Even Pinkie looked a little uncomfortable.
“Everyone, get ahold of yourselves!” Torch boomed.
“It’s all my fault! It’s all my fault!” Twilight bawled. At Torch’s nudge, I awkwardly shuffled over to comfort myself. “We should have just stayed in the clearing. I never should have started investigating before the Princess sent instructions!”
“Speaking of which, she never sent them,” Wild Flower pointed out.
“Maybe we should go see her,” I suggested.
“What a grand idea!” Rarity exclaimed.
“The Princess is sure to get us all back to normal!”
“NO!” Twilight screeched.
“Why not? She might know something!” Rainbow protested.
“I can’t face her,” Twi bit her lip. “I disobeyed. I went poking around where I shouldn’t have been.”
“Don’t you think a light scolding is worth it if it means we can all get back to our old lives?” The rest of them nodded in agreement.
“Please, can’t we just wait a little longer? Maybe she’ll send the rest of her instructions. There might be something that can help us.”
As if on cue, Blaze belched out a series of scrolls. By the time he was done, he was clutching his stomach. Spike patted him on the back.
“You get used to it,” he assured. Twilight greedily snatched up one scroll after the other, scanning them for anything that could get us out of this mess.
“Dear Twilight Sparkle,” she read.
“As you know, I have been speaking with thestral representatives who have volunteered to share their culture and history with us. One of them has recently told an intriguing story that I believe may hold some merit. They say that before their nation divided into the modern-day sectors, they were once ruled under a monarchy much like Equestrian Society today. If the castle were to be uncovered, it could hold invaluable artifacts and history lost even to thestral kind. My informants have disclosed the location of where the ruin of this castle is said to be. I have marked it for you on the map I previously sent. Take care; I have been told that is a particularly dangerous part of the forest.”
“No kiddin’,” AJ grumbled.
“I apologize for keeping you waiting, but sister and I have been scouring the royal libraries for any material that may help you in this assignment. I’m afraid our knowledge of thestrals is limited, but perhaps you can put these to use.
“Signed, Princess Celestia.”
“Do any of those scrolls mention a body-switching device?” We all eagerly pressed in to read over her shoulder. She found the overcrowding far too distracting, and eventually distributed one to Torch, one to Wild Flower and another to Rarity so we could split off and get more information covered. The Princesses’ knowledge was obviously very limited, because there weren’t enough to keep everypony occupied. We were divided into four groups of three, and had all the information down in no time. We found nothing of use.
“So much for that idea,” Rainbow groaned.
“Now can we go visit the Princesses?”
“I’m starting to think that they won’t be able to help us after all,” I sighed.
“Why not?”
“Well, just look at how little information they had on thestrals. Celestia said that this was all they had. If she doesn’t know what that thing was, then she probably doesn’t know how to reverse it.”
“It’s still worth a shot!” Wild Flower insisted.
“And who else could possibly even begin to compete with Princess Celestia’s knowledge, limited as it is?” Rarity pointed out. “She’s the oldest being left in existence! Nopony else remembers anything about thestrals, or their technology.”
“That’s not true. She got her information from those representatives she was talking to. They could know something!”
“And if they don’t? We could be going all the way to Canterlot on a wild goose chase.”
“Well, what do you suggest, Acrylic? Do you want to be stuck like this forever?”
“I’m just suggesting that we might try someone a little more local, first.”
“You’re not thinking of...” Torch started. My smirk affirmed his suspicion. “Ohh, but why him?”
“Who?”
“He can help, Torch!”
“We’ll never hear the end of it.”
“Who are we talking about?”
“But he can help! And he probably knows more about thestrals than we do!”
“Oh, great idea, Acrylic!” Fluttershy beamed, working out who we were talking about.
“Don’t encourage her!”
“He’s our friend. It couldn’t hurt anything.”
“WHO?!” Everypony cried.
“Discord.”
“I don’t know how you ever talked us into this,” Twilight groaned. The hydra blocking our escape had evidently freed itself, because the exit was clear when we returned. We hadn’t been delayed by any other unfriendly creatures, so we took off at once. Now Twi was gliding easily along after Torchwood and Cedar with large and leathery thestral wings. I, on the other hoof, felt like a hummingbird, incessantly beating her feathered propellers to maintain the necessary altitude.
“How do you do this?” I panted, desperately searching for a thermal I could ride.
“Yeah, you don’t ever get a break!” Wild Flower agreed.
“You have it easier than me. Rainbow keeps her wings in tip top shape. Twi’s aren’t as strong because she doesn’t fly so much... no offense.”
“None taken.”
“Speaking of whom...” Wild Flower gestured to a dark shape darting through the skies. Rainbow had found that she could approach top speed twice as fast with big thestral wings that caught the air like nothing she’d ever experienced. She’d been experimenting with new moves since we got into the air, pushing Wild Flower’s body to the limits.
“Well, at least one of us is enjoying herself.”
“Take it easy, would you, Dash? I’m gonna be so sore when I get my body back!”
“How could you not savor every minute up here?” she called back. “I bet I could do a sonic rainboom in half the time if I had thestral wings!”
“Please don’t try,” Wild Flower begged.
“Please, please don’t,” Fluttershy trembled, clinging for her life. Since thestrals were the strongest fliers, they had all been paired with a passenger. Cedar carried Rarity, and Torch hauled Applejack.
“These wings aren’t primed enough, anyway,” she rolled her eyes.
“Are we almost there?” I wheezed. My back already ached from the effort. Not only did I have a passenger, but I was carrying the orb along with all the other scrolls and books in Twilight’s saddlebags, which added that much more weight. Blaze tried shifting his weight for the hundredth time in an attempt to make the load lighter for me. Though it didn’t really help, I shot him a grateful glance as he settled back down.
“You tell me,” Cedar shot back. “I’ve never met the ‘Lord of Chaos’ before.”
“Trust me, you’ll know it when you see it,” Rarity sniffed from atop his back.
“Uh... just a guess, guys, but I think we’ve made it,” Rainbow called, finally stopping to hover. We all looked where she pointed. A floating island hosting an upside down castle was parked over the Everfree, kept in place by a ship’s anchor that pitifully dangled into a tiny puddle.
“That’s definitely it,” Twilight agreed, nose wrinkled. I wasted no time in gliding back down to it. The sooner we got there, the sooner I could rest my wings.
We all landed on the small chunk of checker-boarded land leading up to his door. Twilight took the lead as always, and rapped purposefully on the massive doors.
“What’s this? I have visitors? What a pleasant surprise! I’ll be right there!” The familiar voice of our draconequus friend had never sounded so welcoming. The rest of the house had been upturned, so it shouldn’t have been surprising when he came to the door dressed in a bathrobe, standing on the ceiling. His face brightened up instantly. He teleported only a couple of feet away, but now he was right side up to properly greet us. “Acrylic, Fluttershy, you’ve brought the rest of our friends for a visit! Oh, it’s so wonderful to see you all.” Fluttershy smiled and tried to move forward to hug him, but he evidently thought she was Pinkie and brushed her away.
“Whoa!” Twilight was promptly plucked from the ground and twirled around in greeting instead. Spike indignantly picked himself off where he’d been knocked off.
“Discord? I’m over here,” I waved for his attention.
“How rude, Princess! I’ll be with you in a moment, but I wasn’t done welcoming Acrylic here to my humble abode. Dear Fluttershy has been here before, but this is Acrylic’s first visit. Not that I blame you, my dear. You’ve probably been quite busy with your new husband. Hello, by the way, Torchwood.”
“Discord-”
“Tsk, tsk. Patience, Princess. You’ll get your turn. Now, Acrylic, come along! I’ll give you the grand tour of my new palace, starting with the pool! It’s nothing like that dusty old castle up in the Frozen North where you stayed. I’ve completely remodeled!”
“Discord!” This time, Twilight tried to get his attention.
“You’re right, Acrylic. Enough chit chat. Let’s get started, shall we?” I did the only thing I knew to do to get his attention and keep him from teleporting away. I threw myself at him, catching him in a big hug. Seeing Twilight tackle him just for a greeting hug caused him to freeze.
“Princess Twilight, are you feeling alright?” He set the real Twilight down and picked me up instead. He pressed his paw to my forehead to feel for a temperature.
“It’s me, Discord,” I quietly explained, pushing the stethoscope away. “I’m Acrylic.”
“And I’m Twilight,” Twi snorted. His gaze darted between the two of us for a moment before he busted out laughing.
“Oh, good one, Acrylic,” he hiccupped, pounding a fist into the floor in an attempt to recover. “How clever! Turning the tables on me like that. You got me alright. I never expected that. But how ever did you get Twilight here to agree to such a prank? She’s usually so uptight! My, I experienced your acting skills before during the plunderseeds incident, but I never thought anything of it, especially since they were potion-induced! You sure proved me wrong,” he chortled.
“We’re not joking, Discord.”
“There was an... incident...”
“Now we’ve all switched bodies.”
“What, all of you?” he chuckled. “My dear, I think this joke has outlived its duration. The most important part of a prank is to know when to give it up. Stretch it out too long and it loses its humor.”
“That’s for sure!” an overly peppy Fluttershy voiced.
“Oh, not you too, Fluttershy,” Discord groaned.
“I’m over here, Discord,” Pinkie whimpered.
“Give it up already,” he rolled his eyes. “Taking the laughter out of Pinkie Pie? That’s just depressing!”
“That’s Applejack, and that’s Rarity,” I went on. The girls looked up at the sound of their names. Discord’s eyes were narrow, not sure whether or not to believe me. “And this is my sister Wild Flower.”
“Ah, yes, I saw you at the wedding.”
“Well, it would be Wild Flower, but she and Rainbow got switched. So did Blaze and Spike and Cedar and Torchwood.”
“Now that you’ve played your whole joke through, can I show Acrylic my palace?”
“We need your help first.” I pleaded with my eyes.
“Honestly dear, I think this has gone on long enough.”
“Discord, we’re not joking!”
“Maybe I’ll just come back when you’ve all given up. This is all getting old.”
“Alright, alright,” I said, trying to keep the panic from seeping into my voice. “Leave if you want. But just humor me one last time. Do you have any idea what this is?” We all agreed that it was a good idea to bring the orb with us, so now I removed it from Twilight’s saddlebag and struggled to levitate it over. He caught the sphere, and summoned a pair of reading glasses to get a better look.
“Am I supposed to recognize this?” He bounced it against the floor a few times, using his magic to make it flex like rubber so it wouldn’t break.
“Careful with that!” Twilight burst, snatching the sphere and cradling it like a baby.
“We were hoping you would,” I bit my lip. He couldn’t help us after all.
“Oh! I get it. This is what supposedly switched you all. Very clever, you all. Sandfish egg? Interesting choice. This is real timberwolf bark, isn’t it? And the braid? Was that your touch, Rarity? Where ever did you get the carbuncle gem? I haven’t seen one of these in decades. And do I smell manticore venom? You really went all out, didn’t you?”
“Manticore venom?” Rarity exclaimed.
“Gross!” Pinkie wrinkled her nose.
“What’s so special about all those things?” Twilight prompted.
“Well, in theory, combining these objects could create some sort of neural stasis device, though you ponies consider such things far too unethical to even attempt. I’m surprised you would even imply such a thing, Twilight.”
“Who in their right mind would try makin’ somethin’ like that when its so dangerous?”
“Oh, Rarity!” Discord was back to rolling on the floor. “Do it again! Your impression of Applejack is just marvelous!”
“Okay, so hypothetically, how would you reverse the effects of something like this?” Twilight interrupted.
“I haven’t the slightest idea,” Discord wiped a tear out of his eye. “Such technology simply doesn’t exist. I’m not that into magic theory, either.”
“So that’s it, then?”
“My, Applejack! I’m impressed! There’s wasn’t a hint of your usual accent in your voice!”
“There has to be some clue to fixing this. In the ingredients, maybe? What did you say it was made from, Discord? A sandfish egg? Timberwolf bark?”
“Don’t forget the carbuncle gem and manticore venom.”
“What is a sandfish?” Pinkie wondered.
“It’s a creature entirely made from sand,” Fluttershy answered. “They typically live in the desert, but they’ve been found on beaches before. They swallow pretty much anything that fits in their mouths. When one dies, it packs itself into a tight, compressed ball of sand, along with anything its swallowed inside. The first ponies who discovered them thought they were eggs. The sand is packed so tightly that the objects inside can stay perfectly preserved for centuries!”
“You sure know a lot about them, Flutters!”
“I was invited to go on a special observation of them once,” she blushed.
“What’s that braid made from, I wonder?”
“It almost looks like hair.”
“Whose? None of you have white hair.” Discord looked my and Torchwood’s bodies critically over. “You two aren’t already going gray after a week of marriage, are you?”
“I am NOT!” I indignantly stomped.
“This doesn’t look like regular pony hair,” Rarity observed. “It’s far too delicate for that. It’s as thin as spider silk!”
“Not sticky enough for that,” AJ determined.
“What does it matter?” the exasperated Discord groaned.
“It might be key to gettin’ us back to normal!” Applejack’s accent coming from Rarity’s mouth almost sent him into another fit of giggles.
“If you won’t help us, we’ll just have to work it out by ourselves.”
“Come on, girls. And guys,” Twi added, recalling the four boys in our company. “We aren’t getting anything accomplished here.”
“But Acrylic, I never got to show you around my home. Isn’t that something friends do?”
“Some other time, Discord.” She batted him away and picked up Spike. The rest of our friends were already taking off again. She didn’t take long to follow. Discord drooped.
“The whole point of a joke is to be funny,” he mumbled. When he turned around, he noticed that I was still there.
“Why won’t you believe us?”
“Because this whole scenario is completely unrealistic!” he bellowed in frustration.
“Enlighten me.”
“For starters, Twilight’s first choice would be to go to her beloved mentor, Celestia. She definitely wouldn’t come to me for advice.”
“You were closer,” I reminded. “And it was my idea, and the real Acrylic would trust you. But let’s hear number two.”
“Had this been a real crisis, Twilight probably would have tried her precious Elements of Harmony. They’re chaos repellents, after all.”
“The elements...” my eyes widened. “The elements! Discord, you’re a genius!” Though he didn’t believe it was really me, I squeezed him as tight as I could. “I’m so glad you’re our friend! Hey guys!” I scooped Blaze up on my way out, darting after the rest of them. “Guys, wait up! Discord had a brilliant idea after all!” In my excitement, I didn’t notice the Lord of Chaos casting a second glance at us, reconsidering whether or not we were telling the truth.