//------------------------------// // 119. Keep Calm and Flutter On - Part 2 // Story: Blaze the Pony Tale // by Wolven5 //------------------------------// Eyes popped and jaws dropped as the ponies took this in and for an awkward moment, no one said anything, “Discord” ignoring them as “she” got rid of the cricks in “her” joints. Finally, Midnight broke the ice. “Uh… Discord?” “Oh, honey, ‘Discord’? That name is so old it’s ancient!” scoffed the female draconequus. “I need somethin’ happenin’, somethin’ now. So if you please, child, call me... Eris.” Everypony exchanged confused and weirded-out looks… until they heard Eris say, “Umph!” *Snap* A flash of light drew everypony’s attention and they gasped to see a squirrel that looked like it had followed Bulk Bicep’s training program as it tore off a branch and started chewing on it with fangs rather than buckteeth. “What do you think you’re doing?!” demanded Twilight. “What? Girl’s gotta stay loose, don’t she?” Eris shrugged as she carried on. “`Specially when a lovely harlot o’ havoc such as myself went through such a poor taste in fashion as a stone bodysuit.” *Snap* Another flash of light, and everypony flinched as a mutated rabbit roared at them. “Make that bunny cute again, now!” Pinkie snapped. “What are you talkin’ about, girl?” Eris giggled as she reached over and tickled the enlarged leporid’s chin. “This is cute!” The abominable bunny snapped at Eris’ lioness paw, which she managed to yank back in the nick of time, prompting her to snub the rodent before returning her attention to the ponies present. “And y’know what else is cute? You ponies thinkin’ y’all can snap the sass outta me.” Then Eris looked at Fluttershy rather invasively through a magnifying glass, “And the punchline of that little joke that y’all believe this little sweetie is the pony for the job.” *Flash* Eris was wearing an outfit that made her look like a kindly grandma, “Ohh! Makes me wanna pinch those sweet lil’ horsy cheeks!” “How’d you know about that?!” demanded Midnight. “I was stone, not deaf, child,” snubbed Eris (now suddenly in the buff). “I heard every word sweet Celly said, it made me wanna roll my eyes, not that I could.” She punctuated the statement by taking her eyes out of their sockets, much to everypony’s discomfort, and letting them roll along the ground, into some holes (that weren’t there before), and Eris suddenly appeared as part of the ground and stood up. “Well unless you want us to turn you back into stone,” Twilight threatened, “you’ll turn those animals back to normal pronto!” “Mmm, and disappoint your precious princess?” Eris mocked, waving her finger with `tude. “Uh-huh, that’s gonna happen…” “You’d better believe it, Unfair-is!” Dash punned so terribly Pinkie, Midnight, and Soarin all facehooved. “You think you can treat poor defenseless animals like that and get away with it?!” Fluttershy snapped, displaying the uncharacteristic anger everypony saw only whenever something small, cute, and fuzzy was involved. “You go, Fluttershy!” cheered Rainbow. “Eeyup!” Big Mac smiled in pride of his mare. “You’d best watch your step, sister, or I’ll give you… the Stare…!” Fluttershy threatened while giving Eris a concentrated stink eye that was the precursor to the infamous Stare. “Ooh, the Stare?! Sweet mama flapjacks!” Eris went drama-queen. “Anything but your condemnin’ peepers!” Eris swirled around in mid-air, laughing, “I’m outrageous!” Fluttershy narrowed her eyes… and then let her have it! “Ooh! No… stop it!” Eris whined the moment it started, trying to block but Fluttershy kept advancing on the devious diva, maintaining the legendary Stare. “Please! I-I beg you!” In fact, it looked like Eris’ eyes were becoming hypnotized, “Stop! I-I can’t take it anymore! I’ll do whatever ya say, because…” Eris keeled over in more gut-bursting laughter, the whole thing having an act, before she put her lioness paw on Fluttershy’s cheek, saying, “I am lovin’ them aquamarines, sugar! Ooh, I’m outrageous!” “If you force our hooves, Eris,” Midnight spoke up threateningly, “that we do turn you back to stone, I’m certain the princess will understand our reason for doing do…” “Hmph! Fine, have it your way,” Eris huffed with sass before snapping her talons. Her magic on the squirrel and rabbit was dispelled, reverting them to their cute tiny selves. But far away, in some nearby apple trees at the very edge of the Sweet Apple Acres orchard, some beavers’ eyes started glowing angry red, and they chattered angrily as they dispersed to cause some mischief. “Oopsy…!” Eris whispered conspiratorially to the reader. Then aloud to everypony present, “Alright, y’all, I think we all know where I’m gonna be crashin’ while I’m getting’” – She did that quotation gesture with her fingers – “‘reformed’.” She flashed behind Fluttershy, hugging the yellow pegasus around the shoulders, “With this lil’ warm dab o’ butter right here.” Big Mac narrowed his eyes at Eris, not liking this at all, Fluttershy of the same mind as she muttered, “Oh dear!” They all relocated to Fluttershy’s cottage, where she straightened a few things up. “She might be… rotten, but that doesn’t mean we have to act the same way. I mean, we should at least try to be hospitable.” After setting her books away and putting a nice vase of flowers on the end table, she noticed something and whispered to Angel bunny, “You don’t mind giving up your favorite spot on the couch, do you Angel bunny?” Angel jolted to see Eris lounging about on the sofa, leaving absolutely no room, and he zipped over, pulling on her dragonish foot, trying to get her off. Eris simply pulled her foot out of his little paws that he sulked away. “Oh I’m sorry about Angel,” Fluttershy apologized, “are you alright?” “Oh you ain’t nothin’ to say sorry about, girl,” Eris waved it off, “though you are such a sweetheart for being concerned… Not like your pony friends, however!” “Don’t listen to her, Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash spoke up, having been standing with everypony else by the door. “She’s just trying to drive a wedge between us like last time!” “Dashie! I am shocked… Why, I repeat myself, why would I ever do something so dastardly it makes even my skin crawl?” Eris asked innocently and the ponies grimaced at the scales on Eris’ tail shivering in response to her words, looking like worms were squirming right underneath them. “So we can’t unite and use the Elements of Harmony against you, that’s why!” Rainbow Dash sniped. “Oh my, the thought never cross my mind!” Eris said in faux-realization. “You big liar!” Dash snubbed as she rejoined the others. “Who’s a liar?” Eris squeaked, having shrunk herself to Angel’s size. “I think it is as plain to see as a nice 2 by 4 that I ain’t big at all.” Angel tried to hop onto the couch, only for Eris to revert to her usual size and push him off unceremoniously. Although the scuffle caused Eris to bump the end table and knock Fluttershy’s lamp over and break. “Oop! Sorry honey, let ol’ Auntie Eris make it all better.” She waved her paw, the pieces of the lamp floating up in a swirl over the end table, and come together… into a haphazard statuette of Eris, holding the light bulb. “Mm-hmm! Now that’s art,” Eris patted herself on the back and whipped Angel off the couch again, using her tail. “Is she kidding?” Rarity whispered to Pinkie Pie. “I dunno, I think it looks silly in a funny way!” Pinkie whispered back. “Ah cain’t watch,” Applejack lowered her hat as she led the others out. “We’ll be outside,” said Rainbow with a huff. Twilight, Midnight, and Big Mac remained, Twilight asking, “You sure you’re okay with this?” “I know this won’t be easy,” Fluttershy admitted, “but Princess Celestia is counting on me! …And I think I actually know what to do.” “You do?” Twilight said in disbelief, that Midnight elbowed her. “I think the key is to befriend her,” Fluttershy stated, ignorant of the scuffle between Eris and Angel behind her although Big Mac and Midnight were secretly rooting for the demon rabbit. “Being kind to her and treating her as my houseguest is probably the best way to go about that.” “Well, if you think it will work, Fluttershy, then we have faith in you, right guys?” Midnight gave Twilight the stink eye, as did Big Mac as he agreed, “Eeyup…” “I… guess it’s worth a try,” Twilight caved before telling Fluttershy, “But if you need us, all you have to do is whisper ‘help’ and we’ll be here right away with our Elements.” Then she pointed her hoof at Eris, saying, “So watch that goat-legged step of yours, missy!” "That's right!" added Midnight with a stern look. Eris was teasing Angel and flinched at Twilight’s words before she flashed up some nice chairs, tea, and herself into a formal dress one might wear to a very fancy dinner party. “What?! Just lookit me, child! I’m practically reformed already.” “Well don’t forget this, Eris,” Midnight warned, “Big Mac, Thunder, and I don’t need the Elements of Harmony to render you powerless!” “If ya need me, Ah’ll come runnin’,” Big Mac said with a supportive look to his mare and she gave him a grateful kiss. “Come on, y’all.” Big Mac led the two unicorns out of the cottage, closing the door behind them. “She’s really alright with that… with Eris staying with her?” Blueblood asked incredulously. “We don’t like it either, Blueblood,” Midnight stated, “But Princess Celestia has faith that Fluttershy can do this, and since she’s feeling up to the task I think it’s fair we give her a chance!” “I still say we oughta have a back-up plan,” Rainbow Dash insisted, “in case this whole ‘befriending business’ goes south.” “Rainbow Dash is right,” Rarity agreed. “This is Dis- Er, I mean, Eris, we’re talking about, fillies & gentlecolts. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to have another trick up our sleeves.” “…And I think I know just the trick,” Twilight said as an idea dawned in her mind. “Hey Twi, are you thinking what I think you’re thinking?” asked Midnight with a smirk. “Come on, Midnight, let’s get to the library!” Twilight levitated Spike onto her back and held Midnight, his horn flaring. *Flash* “What do you think they’re gonna do?” Thunderlane asked everypony. “Whatever it is, I’m certain it will ensure this Eris can be held in check” Blueblood suggested. “Eeyup.” agreed Mac. Inside the cottage however, Fluttershy peered into the living room, “Eris? Oh there you are.” Eris was still on the couch and appeared to be eating something. “Listen, Eris, if there’s anything I can do to-” She then noticed what Eris was stuffing her face with. “Are you eating… paper?” “Oh don’t mind me, child,” Eris waved it off as she took another forkful, “just getting started on a high-fiber diet." “Well… I’m just heading out, so make yourself at home while I’m gone,” Fluttershy invited as she exited the cottage. Eris stood at the threshold, wearing a pink comfort robe and fuzzy slippers, a cup of tea on hand, “Bye-bye, take all the time you need, girl! Everything is a-ok here!” Once Fluttershy disappeared beyond the trees, Eris narrowed her eyes as she closed the door. And locked it. “You like carrots, Angel…?” Angel shrieked in terror as Eris gave him a very devious sneer as she snapped her fingers, conjuring a bunch of carrots to tall onto the bunny, "I'm pulling the wool over your owner's eyes!" Angel pulled himself free of the pile of carrots and picked one up, only for it to grow Eris's face, "How do you like them carrots?!" Angel squealed in fright to see his favorite treat twisted into something abominable. Over at the library, Twilight was going through a spellbook. “That’s weird, the spell I had in mind isn’t in here.” “That can’t be!” Midnight was pouring through another. “Princess Celestia just sent them to us last week! We spent practically the whole weekend studying these.” Indeed, the princess had sent about twelve new spellbooks for the two unicorns to go over. They decided they’d be so busy studying Twilight gave Spike the day off and Midnight suggested the little dragon hang out with the colts. “Spike, where are the rest of those books?” “Right here, Midnight,” Spike said as he held the precarious stack, Midnight levitating them around himself as he looked through them. “I’m all for giving Fluttershy a chance to reform Eris,” Midnight commented as he scanned through the pages of one of the books, “But it’s better to be safe than sorry by having a reforming spell ready in case things go pear-shaped.” "I agree," Twilight looked through another, "hope for the best but be prepared for the worst." “But won’t he- Ergh, she just makes the Elements of Harmony vanish, like he did before?” Spike reminded them, shuddering at Discord’s new look. “Princess Celestia cast a spell protecting them, remember?” Twilight assured him and those words made Midnight look up in horror, his pupils narrowing to pinpricks. “Uh-oh…!” “What?” Twilight asked, seeing Midnight drop some books. “What’s wrong?!” Spike started to fret. “Princess Celestia didn’t cast a spell to protect our books! Everywhere we thought to look for a reforming spell-” Midnight turned to a certain page in one and they gasped! The page was missing!