//------------------------------// // Night Guard is Best Guard...NO! // Story: Not so Evil Hobo Necromancer // by NecromancerX69 //------------------------------// NEW CHAPTER ~ ♪ YaY ♪ Also quick news I made my first one shot of mlp hope ya give it a quick peek as soon I post it in the near future. Well hope you ppl like this chapter and thank my friend Zephyr for the pre-read. I wuv you Zephyr! it begins... “LoL WooT…” Normal talk “LoL WooT…” Inner demon, conscience, telepathy talk. “LoL WooT…” Thoughts, Inner talk. Colt: Adult pony Mare: Adult pony Filly: Girl pony Foal: Boy pony Chapter 14 Night Guard is Best Guard… NO! [Location… Sugar Cube Corner/ Pinkie Pie's room] Night… Pinkie Pie was looking into the mirror of her room late at night. She couldn’t put a hoof of why Vincent was going to be a disaster if he remains in Equestria… You know… Pinkie sense, until she saw the problem. “This doesn’t look good. The fourth wall is breaking…” Said Pinkie Pie looking in the mirror at the fourth wall of Vincent universe, thanks to her Pinkie powers. “If this keeps up, Equestria will be swallowed into an endless void. In other words Vincent needs to return where he belongs for the sake of everypony.” Said Pinkie Pie to herself. “Besides that he is one mean pony! A very evil necromancer! And a cloper!” Said Pinkie Pie a bit angry just to try convince herself that Vincent is well… evil and must be return where he belongs. “But… he also saved all those ponies from the dragon and the fake headless horse, he shared the kindness of beer to everypony and he… is… handsome…” Said Pinkie Pie blushing a bit… “No he is an ASSPONY!” She said loud but not much so she doesn’t wake the Cakes. “But… he was a nice with Twilight ever since they lived together and he didn’t do anything stupid…” Said Pinkie Pie admitting he is not so evil after all… “Fine, I will give him a week or two to prove himself he can live in Equestria or be forced to return where he belongs with no exceptions!” Said Pinkie Pie decided to spy on Vincent. “And You NecromancerX69! You better not screw this up!” Said Pinkie Pie to the writer… A magical picture appeared on the mirror… it’s the face of Yao Ming.. “You are evil you know that!” Said Pinkie Pie angry to the writher. Magical words appear on the mirror… 'You Mad?' “Fine! Just try to keep the fourth wall from breaking apart until I can send somepony to fix it.” Said Pinkie Pie to the writer angrily then she headed to sleep. Magical words appeared on the mirror… 'You like bananas?' “Oh you don’t!” Said Pinkie Pie only to be launched to the moon. Moon… Once Pinkie Pie landed on the moon she found a corpse that smell like fish… oh wait it's Edward. [Location… Canterlot/ Palace/ Night Guard Barracks] 4 Days later… The Moral of the Night guard was dropping considerably they are at the brink of quitting their job… I mean Vincent tortured them with his extreme training they can barely keep up with it… until now… They were in formation waiting for Vincent as always. “Jan you sure it's a good idea to quit? Dad will not approve it.” Said Luke the batpony. “Yea! I mean just look at all the things he made us do! Not to mention that box!” Said Jan angry to his brother “I am pretty sure everything will change sooner or later and maybe we will win the position of personal guards of the princess.” Said Luke willing to bring honor to the batfamilies. “Attention!” Came the warning telepathically from the Headless Horse entering the barracks followed by Vincent in human form, Slender Mane and a sweating D. All the recruits kept their formation waiting for orders from the monster they called behind his back. “ALRIGHT MAGGOTS, I GOT GOOD NEWS FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!” Said Vincent with a wicked grin. “THIS HERE IS MY MINION D AND SHE NEEDS TO RELEASE SOME STEAM IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!” He keeps giving his wicked grin. One of the unicorns rised his hoof. “Permission to talk sir!” Said the unicorn. “PERMISSION GRANTED MAGGOT!” Said Vincent. “Isn’t it against the rules to buck some pony in duty?” Said the unicorn. “LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION MAGGOT! DO YOU WORK FOR THE DAY GUARD OR THE NIGHT GUARD?!” Said Vincent. “Night guard sir!” Said the unicorn. “THEN YOU MUST KNOW THAT OUR RULES ARE DIFERENT THAN THE DAY GUARD RULES! NOW AS I WAS SAYING SHE NEEDS TO RELEASE SOME STEAM AND THE FIRST TO FINISH THE ROUTINE TRAINING WILL GET THE CHANCE TO BUCK THE HELL OUT OF HER!” Said Vincent to the rest of the guards. D making sure they do what her master wants, showed them some skin if you know what I mean. “SQUAD MORAL RESTORED!” The night guards said in unison but they didn't know why. “GOOD! YOU CAN BEGIN MAGOTS! GOGOGO!” Said Vincent watching them do their workout quickly and more efficiently. “Man if I knew of this sooner.” Said Vincent smiling evilly. [Flash back one day]… Vincent in ponymode arrived to the minions' house and as soon as he opened the door he was pounced by D with extreme lust in her eyes. “D. You know there is no need for this again?” Said Vincent. “Master I need my daily pleasure or I will die!” Said D kissing Vincent's neck. “What about Morgan why don’t you go molest him?” Said Vincent. “He is on the moon.” Said D. “WHAT! How did that happen? Wait don’t tell me… Molestia.” Said Vincent not amused. “Yes” Said D blowing steam out of her mouth. “Sorry but not with me D.” Said Vincent, sadly as soon as he said that she pounced at a random pony that was walking pass them. “D! Release him and I will help you with your problem!” Said Vincent to D. “Fine…” She said releasing the pony she was about to rape. “I have an idea of what to do with you but for now I need to talk with Nightmare Moon and bring back Morgan from space.” Said Vincent to D before heading to the palace. “…” D was kind of sad… but as soon Cesar walked past her she ponynapped him. “HEEEEEEEEELP!” Screamed Cesar before she closed the door of her house. (Don’t worry she won’t kill ponies anymore). [Flash back end]… His toughts were interrupted by two batponies standing in front of him. “We finished on time sir!” Said both Jan and Luke. “GOOD WORK MAGGOTS NOW CLAIM YOUR PRICE!” Said Vincent allowing them to follow D to a private area. “NOW THE REST OF YOU GET DOWN AND GIVE ME 20!” Said Vincent to the rest who didn’t finished on time. “Now definitely they will give their best from now on.” Thought Vincent with an evil smirk. What Vincent didn’t know is that he was been spied by a Pink Pony. “Mmm… Well at least he is compensating his guards for a job well done, and allowing that succubus to get what she needs without abusing her… You are safe for now Vincent.” Said Pinkie Pie taking notes a bit jealously. [Location… Ponyville] One week later… Pinkie Pie was drinking a shake she bought from one of the restaurants in Ponyville as she thought about Gilda, the mean griffon that recently arrived to visit her friend Rainbow Dash. Is she the bad one or it's just Pinkie Pie jealous… Damn she forgot to keep an eye on Vincent as she kept focusing on the griffon as she done mischiefs in the market. Pinkie Pie started to wonder where could he be at this hour… “Hey Pinkie what ya doing?” Said a familiar voice to her right. It was Vincent in pony mode standing next to Pinkie Pie, he still doesn’t know that Gilda was there. “Vincent! Nothing just keeping an eye on Gilda.” Said Pinkie Pie but as soon she said that Vincent looked around to find Gilda stealing an apple. Then he looked in the distance to find Fluttershy coming with the ducks. Vincent already knew the outcome… “Pinkie Pie, hope you don’t mind what I am going to do.” Said Vincent walking slowly towards Gilda. “What do you mean?” Said Pinkie Pie until she saw Fluttershy bumping with Gilda and she knew things aren’t going to end well. With Gilda… “I-I am sorry I was just trying to-” Tried to Say Fluttershy to Gilda only to be interrupted by… “I am sorry, I am sorry.” Said Gilda imitating Fluttershy out of mean sarcasm. “Why don’t you watch were you are going!” Said Gilda meanfully to Fluttershy as she started to take back steps. “B-bb-but-I-I-I.” Tried to say Fluttershy only to see Gilda inhaling air ready to give Fluttershy a good scare. “ROAR!!!” Screamed Gilda to Fluttershy… only to find a grey unicorn colt with purple mane in front of Fluttershy blocking Gilda's shout. “Hobo…” Said Fluttershy surprised to see Vincent. “I don’t know who the hay you think you are but you are apologizing to Fluttershy this very instant young lady!” Said Vincent to Gilda. “HA! What makes-” Gilda was about to say something only to be interrupted by Vincent activating his miasma focus on fear only directed to Gilda. “I SAY APOLOGISE! MAGGOT!” Said Vincent to Gilda with authority. Plus canterlot royal spell. Gilda at the brink of peeing out of fear quickly moved towards Fluttershy. “I am sorry for bothering you!” Said Gilda scared for her life to Fluttershy. “I- its ok…” Said Fluttershy to Gilda. “Now if there is nothing left to do.” Gilda tried to walk away only to… “STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!” Said Vincent to Gilda. “What now! I apologized already!” Said Gilda to Vincent. “I SAW YOU STEAL AN APPLE AND EAT IT! YOU MUST NOW PAY FOR IT! OR I AM NOT THE LEADER OF THE NIGHT GUARD!” Said Vincent to Gilda. “I am really sorry but don’t have any bits!” Said Gilda knowing she buck it up big time and more with a royal guard. “THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD! MINIONS!” Said Vincent surrounding Gilda with his Headless Horse and his Timber Wolf that appeared on Vincent's voice command. “Wait!” Said Pinkie Pie trotting towards Vincent. “What is it Pinkie?” Asked Vincent. “There’s no need to hurt her, I am sure there are other ways she can pay for her crimes.” Said Pinkie Pie to Vincent. “Very well… MAGGOT YOU WILL JOIN THE NIGHT GUARD AS PUNISHMENT! YOU MUST REPORT TO THE PALACE BEFORE MIDNIGHT OR YOU LOSE YOUR HEAD! GOT IT?” Said Vincent to Gilda, she nodded quickly. “GOOD!” Once Vincent said that… Gilda sprinted away from there to either say goodbyes or pack her things. “Hobo… Thank you…” Said Fluttershy with a smile and more glad to know he didn’t harmed Gilda… yet. “No need to thank me. I know what it feels to be bullied and I can’t allow somepony to bother my friends.” Said Vincent to Fluttershy also smiling. “Vincent that was awesome! The way you saved Fluttershy and scared Gilda!” Said Pinkie Pie really glad to know Vincent is indeed not as evil as she believed he is. “Hey, no problem!” Said Vincent smiling. “Hobo… not that I mind but what are you doing in Ponyville?” Asked Fluttershy. “Oh. I am here to make sure the renovations are going nicely.” Said Vincent to Fluttershy. “What renovations??? Oh! That place in construction right?!” Said Pinkie Pie remembering a new house or store being built in Ponyville. “Yes that one Pinkie Pie.” Said Vincent smirking evilly… Minutes later in front of the new construction site… “Behold! The Pony Club bar!” Said Vincent to Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie showing them the place. “Soon everypony in Ponyville will enjoy my drinks! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Said Vincent laughing evilly to the sky but not to the point to scare Fluttershy. “Change of mind he is still evil.” Thought Pinkie Pie. [Location… Canterlot/Palace/ Night Guard Barracks] 4 Days later… Gilda's time in the Night Guard sure was one hell she couldn’t stand, especially for being the first griffon to join the ranks of the Night Guard. She was about to tell the Princess that she is the daughter of the king of the griffons so she can stop working as Night Guard. But she quickly changed her mind once she found the price of working hard for the Night Guard… D the most beautiful pony she ever laid her eyes on, hell she found her more attractive than her friend Rainbow Dash. Now she works really hard to try and eat a piece of her. “I knew that griffon swing the other side.” Thought Vincent as he kept a good eye on Gilda, soon she will change into a very good member of the Night Guard and learn some manners during her stay. Vincent also remembered how many Night Guards tried to hit on her only to end up being punched really badly by a mad griffon Colt hater, mare lover. He still laughs for that… [Location… Canterlot/ Palace/ Night Guard Barracks] One week later, midnight… Vincent in human form was busy training the Night Guards until a letter arrived to him via dragon-fire. He picked up the letter with his hands and read it. 'Brother we need your help. An Ursa Major is rampaging in Ponyville because that Trixie thought it was a good idea to paper cut her cub. Please hurry, time is at the assets. Your sister Twilight Sparkle' “…” Vincent thought of it for a second… he didn’t felt like fighting monsters today. Until a very good, mean and evil idea came to his mind as soon as he saw his personal Night Guard. [Location… Ponyville /in front of Town Hall] 13 minutes later… Arriving in Ponyville via mass teleport, there was Vincent in human form followed by every single member of the Night Guard. They saw all the disaster the Ursa Major was creating and looked at many ponies running around in panic. This looked like one of Vincent's favorite Godzilla movies only replaced with a huge transparent teddy bear. “ALRIGHT MAGGOTS! TODAY IS THE DAY! PROVE WHAT ARE YOU MADE OF AND BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THAT URSA! PROTECT OUR PONIES IN THE NAME OF THE GOD EM- I MEAN PRINCESS NIGHTMARE MOON!” Said Vincent to the Night Guards. The Guards gone pale by just seeing the massive creature… Some Guards took their first steps really slowly approaching the Ursa with fear in every corner of their bodies you could almost say they are Fluttershy's relatives. Vincent was really angry to see how pathetic the Night Guard looked like, he pointed one of his hands to the newest pony member who just joined to them yesterday and blow his head with a fire spell. Now the Guards were paying attention to their leader… “IF YOU WILL NOT SERVE IN COMBAT THEN YOU WILL SERVE ON THE FIRING LINE!” Said Vincent with a more powerful miasma of fear making the Night Guard fear him more than the Ursa. Now the Guards for the sake of their lives began to sprint to fight the mighty Ursa. “Well who could say it’s indeed true that if there is something scary on the front, place something scarier on the back, it's better for moral.” Said Vincent to himself. Only to receive a smack from a very… VERY angry Pinkie Pie… “I knew you were a really mean Pony… How could you kill one of your own Guards?!?” Said Pinkie Pie crying in front of Vincent… She almost believed he was a good pony and he could stay… Vincent looked at her for a second until… “Hahahahahahhahahhahahahhhaha.” Vincent started to laugh...??? “What is so funny?” Said Pinkie Pie still angry. “The Pony you think I killed was actually a zombie!” Said Vincent still laughing. “What?!?!?” Said Pinkie Pie really surprised. “Allow me to explain my friend.” Said Vincent to Pinkie Pie. [Flash Back two days back]… Inside Vincent’s Crypt could be heard sounds coming from the basement… It was Vincent with many corpses of ponies all dressed differently. Some looked like Night Guard members, others like Canterlot ponies and one looked like a butler. “Arise my minions is time to wake up!” Said Vincent activating one of his forbidden spells, making the corpses wake up from their endless slumber. “Tooooooofuuuuuuuuu…” Said the Zombie Ponies in unison. “HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Vincent laughed evilly to the sky now that he has control over a small zombie army. [Flash back end]… “And that’s what happen my friend. I needed one of the zombies for the Night Guard so I can blow up his head and give moral boost to them in case of something like this.” Said Vincent proudly. “You… you mean… big… Meany. Asspony!” Said Pinkie Pie punching Vincent's chest but also glad to know that he is not so evil… He can stay… “Pinkie are you ok? Sorry if I scared you back there…” Said Vincent to Pinkie Pie. “It’s ok… just don’t scare me like that again.” Said Pinkie Pie leaving Vincent and heading toward Sugar cube corner. “Now that is strange… Pinkie Pie never behaves like that… Wait did I saw her with flat mane?” Said Vincent mentally to himself. “Mission accomplished boss!” Said Gilda, reporting to Vincent, also followed by the rest of the guards. Mother of mercy they beat the hell out of that Ursa, it ran back to the Everfree Forest. “GOOD WORK MAGGOTS! NOW LET US RETURN TO THE BASE!” Said Vincent to them. “Sir. What about the new recruit's body?” Said one of the unicorns. “RISE YOU WORM!” Said Vincent to the corpse… it rise headless. Now the Night Guard was definitely scared. “NOW YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DISOBEY A DIRECT ORDER! HEAD BACK TO THE BARRACKS YOU DESERVE SOME WELL REST FOR A JOB WELL DONE!” Said Vincent proud of his Night Guard. “Sir yes sir!” Said the Guards teleporting back to Canterlot with Vincent plus one zombie. Wait a minute? What happened with the rest of the mane six??? [Location… Ponyville/ Hospital] Present time… Twilight, Applejack and Rainbow Dash were hurt thanks to that Ursa… Rarity and Fluttershy stayed with them keeping them company. While Pinkie Pie told them she will bring some sweets to make them feel better. What about Trixie… Running away inside the Everfree Forest after such humiliation thanks to those two colts, Snips and Snails. “I will be back! Just you hear me! I! Will! Be! Back!” Said Trixie as she kept running inside the most dangerous forest in all of Equestria. [Location… Ponyville/ Pony Club] Present time… Berry Punch watched all the commotion in Ponyville in relation with the Ursa Major… inside the Pony Club while she drank a bit of booze. In other words… Berry at the bar orders a bud and says. “It’s just another night in Ponyville.” She said drinking her booze. [Miny Grimoire Time!] (During these miny Grimoires you will learn how to use the spells Vincent use in the fanfic or tell you why he can’t let you learn it) o) Mass Zombie Rise spell… This one is a personal spell and I can't share it with anypony... [Important]: Necromancerx69 is not responsible if the spells actually work or not and you get killed. Any complains in relation to my Magic/Believes and you being an Atheist, Christian, Non magic believer, Scientologist, etc. Please call 1-800-I-DON’T-GIVE-A-F**K Hope you ppl like this chapter... Well till next week as always my friends. Wait before you go I wish to know how many of you have out of curiosity tried my spells in real life? That is all good night my friends! Thanks Zephyr!