//------------------------------// // The Grand Galloping Gala—A Track Record For Disaster? (Contributed by Snaproll) // Story: The Pinion // by PegasusMesa //------------------------------// Canterlot, Equestria—For the past three years, the Grand Galloping Gala has experienced a series of mishaps, mix-ups, and outright disasters. Some ponies have speculated that the Gala is a magnet for bad luck, while others have even suggested that agent provocateurs might be deliberately sabotaging the year’s most prestigious event. Now, with another Gala looming on the horizon, invitees find themselves questioning whether or not it is even safe for them to attend. It all began four years ago when a group of six Ponyville mares—later identified as the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, attending at the personal invite of Celestia herself—set in motion a series of events that led to the party’s ruination, including the castle menagerie being set loose on the attendees, the destruction of much of the ballroom’s support structure, and the mortification of Prince Blueblood, who spent a week isolated in his quarters coping with severe emotional trauma. “It was terrible,” a source close to the prince reported anonymously. “His Majesty spent a whole day in the shower weeping unashamedly and eating ice cream. By the time he snapped out of it, we had to get his outfits re-sized to accommodate his added, ah, royal wideness, and there wasn’t a carton of Rocky Road left within fifty miles of Canterlot.” When asked for comment on the evening’s destruction, Princess Celestia had this to say: “While it was unfortunate that the event turned into a fiasco by the end of the evening, I prefer to look at the positives. The ballroom was in serious need of a remodel, anyway—it was slated to be redone next month. Further, the average health of most of the garden’s animals has improved as well, what with all exercise they got. It also served to give our wranglers a proper drill in rounding up all the stray critters.” The following year, the bearers of the Elements were not in attendance. However, what was in attendance was a full two-dozen skunks that had not made the guest list the previous year. According to wranglers working for the menagerie, the skunks had made a den in a section of the old ballroom that had been walled off in the previous year’s renovations. Several eyewitnesses reported that the skunks were led by a lone opossum, but these reports have not been confirmed by menagerie staff. At least half of the guests had to endure multiple humiliating baths in tomato juice to rid themselves of the smell. According to the contractors hired to do the renovations, the walled-off-section had been requested as a last-minute addition by Princess Celestia herself. “Initially,” said the princess in response to our questions, “we’d wanted to put a dumbwaiter in to connect to the upper levels on the next round of renovations. Unfortunately, we decided to go in another direction. It just didn’t work out the way we wanted.” The year after that, the night of the Gala went off without a hitch—or so it seemed. The very next day, Canterlot General Hospital was flooded with over 150 cases of Poison Joke exposure. While the victims were eventually cured with generous aid from the Zebrican embassy, investigations were undertaken to determine the vector for the contamination. Eventually, it was determined that the enormous quiche served the previous evening had been contaminated by Poison Joke. Further investigations determined that Celestia’s personal chef’s prized stash of aged basil had been mixed with the offending flora. We asked Princess Celestia how she could countenance keeping such an incorrigible prankster on permanent retainer. Said the princess, “I have every confidence in Zesty Marinade’s integrity, accountability, and firm moral character. “Besides,” she added, “he makes the most ballistically accurate—I mean, uh, heavenly key-lime pies.” With the Gala looming next week and preparations in full-stride, the identity of the mystery prankster—if he or she indeed exists—is still very much in question. Indeed, many ponies are taking as much care with their prank precautions as they are with their wardrobes and coiffures. However, Princess Celestia has given us her personal assurance that this year’s Gala will go off without a hitch, and that nopony should pay attention to the crates marked, “Disgruntled Bees”. With assurances like these, we can rest easy that the Grand Galloping Gala will go off without a hitch.