//------------------------------// // Discord. Its always DISCORD. (Edited 9-25-2015 Not Done.) // Story: A Boy and his Box // by Jake Witt //------------------------------// The year is... BC? Before Cellphone? Hi my name is Jake and I'm the hero of Equestria, walking with me is PJ. He wants no glory for unknown reasons, my humble pony I guess. Its been a week since Discord's defeat and we won't bore you with details about our "Epic Battle"... Flashback to a week ago. "BEG FOR IT! BEG FOR YOUR LIFE OR ELSE, I'LL END THIS EARLY!" I screamed over a bloodied- blue blood, huh -Discord with an equally bloody- red blood?! what the heck?! -sword. Little did I know, Discord's tail went to one of my dead bodies and grabbed a shovel so that he can pull a nearby poison bow with scattered arrows closer to himself. With his magic distracting me and his tail doing his bidding, he ended my life again with a poison arrow that took away the half heart that kept me alive. I woke up with PJ hopping around in unshakable excitement, "Jake! JAKE! Can you believe it?!" I followed his gaze to two horses with wings and a horn each with a frozen Discord statue in front of them. Yeah... nope. We traveled about... South East? o/ o/ AAaaaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaaahh aaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaaahhh~ o/ o/ What was that magestic music? We followed the tone to three little fillies singing, it was beautiful yet more pitiful sounding when you get close. They ended their medly to look at their cracked rubies, held by a black string around their neck. "That was horrible!" the purple one said. "You think so too? Ever notice that once a pony gets close to us and cringe? I think they work, but not near the... um... 'eye of the storm'!" the orange one said. "For realsies!" the blue one said. "'For realsies'? What's that?" orange asked. "We are artists in music, so since artist have a little quirk..." silence, "Nevermind! May be Aria's right..." blue said looking... blue. "NO NO! You should be who YOU want to be, Sonata." orange said, her hoof on Sonata. "HA, quirks! We don't even have our Cutie Marks and yet the crusade idea sounds better." purple- Aria said. "I WAS SERIOUS ABOUT THAT, TOO! I mean Cutie Mark Crusaders sound good, right? Think about it. We could answer 'the Call of the Cutie'!" Sonata said moving a hoof in an arch. "Hello," I said approaching "y'all are in a bit of trouble, are you not?" They backed up with fear in their eyes, except for Sonata. "Y-yes sir... How did you know?" she asked, to be honest: she was adorable. "Your music. But for some reason it changes when I'm near, how's that?" I ask. "Well... um... m-m-Mommy gave us these necklaces when she... um... Well they allow us to sing at our full potential..." Sonata was hushed by Aria as she pulled Sonata back with a stray tear falling. "A-Adagio, w-w-whatdowedo?" Aria asked. They stopped when I held Aria's ruby in my hand. "It looks cracked. Is it okay if I can fix this?" I asked. PJ ran up and stopped when Adagio stepped up. "What can you do?" she asked. "For starters, I fixed magic gems with dust before." I said, holding redstone dust. They walk up and observe the red pouder. "What is THAT going to do?" Aria aked with a rude 'THAT'. "No clue how it works, but it works. I figure the energy in this and the magic in the stones mix to heal as well as increase the powers in the gems." I said. They huddle together before agreeing. "Please sir, can you fix our gems?" they all said with big eyes. PRESENT DAY When I was on Earth I watched a Brony documentary, the reason for that is find a cure for my brother and anime wasn't working. In front of me since my awakening, was what the documentary would call 'an anthro fusion of Gen 2 and Gen 4'. To me it looked like half human theatre production with actors either prepping for "Greace" or "Julius Ceasar". There were a few spots where 'Ghostbuster' pegasi were flailing on the ground as if someone with the N64 cartrige-tilted '007 Golden Eye'. I checked my head for only sign of change, and luckily nothing. Some were on two, some were on fours, and Derpy was LITERALLY driving a STOOL from the library to... where ever! It was the most impressive stool rocking I've ever seen! Back on track, not even my well suited human Discord could undo this and HE CAUSED IT! The only harm here is the anthro pegasi in free fall! A pig girl with blonde hair points at me screaming, "ITS STARTING TO HAPPEN!!!" All at once anthros start running toward their doors, some trying to grip with their teeth. Discord removes his monical replying, "Good show of chaos, my boy!" "Its your fault besides, you fart chaos when in a coma-like state?!" "I do NOT cause trouble and use A LOT of magic to have fun all the time!! Also a magic that disables magic, that's magic PARADOX. I mean shouldn't it cancel itself out?" he asked. I face palmed thinking Shouldn't a LORD of CHAOS know everything ABOUT his chaos? I sigh and give him my 'two cents', "May be the magic is gone, but the chaos stays?" "That's impossible! My chaos feeds off the power of magic as I feed off the raw chaos of oth-" Discord stopped in mid-sentace, covering my eyes, "Don't worry, I'm reformed!" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!!!" as the single pair tapping from her hooves pass two others followed. "DANGIT PINKIE, THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" "ARE YA SURE CHASING HER IS A GUD IDEA?!" "If I were to guess, either it doesn't need me to convert the raw chaos and is using... um... Party Pea as a source of chaos or the first with that giant caged mage spider providing the magic fuel. Or we can go with the unicorns trying to use magic?" Discord said with fancy pipe in his mouth, "Whaaat? I don't smoke, I bubble!" "Didn't say anything. Though, if the spider and unicorn provide power..." I slip into my thoughts as the sound of a shotgun click breaks me from thought, "How-?" "I have no magic so I rigged the place with, nessesary chaos, catapults! Everything was pradicted even that stallion's pie!" on cue pies pelted a fancy unicorn with an assortment of pies in every direction. Behind him was an older stallion dressed like Wallace from "Wallace and Gromit" who picked up the pied unicorn above his head, "I don't care if you're a prince, we are ALL equal here! ... THAT'S RIGHT, THERE ISN'T A GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD FOR YOU, BLUE BLOOD!!" I heard enough stories about the prince to KNOW when to stay out of this. I turned back Discord, aiming and pretending to shoot the prince. I spawned and tamed a cave spider and rode it up the town hall. I tried to shout, but I'm not that loud- ACK! A megaphone knocks me in the head coutasy of Discord. "YO, EVERYPONY! ATTENTION ALL UNICORNS, GET OUT! WE HAVE A THEORY THAT YOU AND THE GIANT SPIDER MIGHT BE UNWILLINGLY FEEDING THE CLOUD! DISCORD AND OUR TEAM OF EXPERTS WILL- ATTENTION! TAKE PINKIE WITH YOU AS WELL..." I end the announcement and [SPIDEY] walks us to the ground where I return him to an Ultraball. Hands grab my shoulders as I feel something pressed on my back, two fuzzy faces sandwhiching mine. "good luck, i'm staying the way i am. forever!" a minty unicorn whispered leaving my left. "What about me? Why do I need to leave?" Pinkie asked. I turned to see she has pies and tins, cakes, and foil all over her like a messy-bakery foil knight. She didnt look like a chubby pony, but in front of me is a pudgy anthro who can somehow run like an olympic athlete. "Um... you're the main source of random here? Just go party in my Canterlot room or better yet the CPS!" "CPS?" she asked with a head tilt. I refocused my eyes before responding, "Castle of the Pony Sisters or 'CPS'." "Oooah! Neato!" she responded suddenly dodging Rainbow Dash, she had something pink in her hand as was too late to avoid colliding into Town Hall. We both winced at that then I grabed Pinkie's hand and with Speed II we ran for the Everfree. 4 Hours Later The cloud has no reach in the Everfree so at the CPS, Pinkie is a pure pony. I placed my clone holders next to the cloning chambers and set everything up for a new game called "Are You Awake?". I switch bodies and Pinkie guesses who I am out of ten bodies. The score so far is "Pinkie - 24, Me - 8". "This is sooo fun! But shouldn't prep the party?" Pinkie asked. I wake up in my "prime" body and was about to respond when a knocking was at our door. I open to see the unicorn from earlier binded up in rope and Pinkie's friends all dressed up with Box wearing a muscle shirt and jeans. My gaze follows Twilight as I tried not to react to a disturbing memory. "What? This is what I wore at Canterlot High!" "Oh it is? Sorry, reminded me something disturbing... Thanks Box." After I said this, all eyes were on Box, "What did I do?" "Nothing. It doesn't matter now. All that matters is that you're here and the invites haven't been sent!" "Invites?!" our guests said in unison except Box. Pinkie bounces up behind me only to get tackled by the group like lions on the hunt. I didn't know whether to help her or run off into a more dangerous Everfree. I did neither as my legs did nothing, I doubt it's a side effect of the chambers or the constant body swapping. When they were done, no words could be said. Pinkie wore a dress with jeans, a white cloth, her boots were mismatched one being high heel and tennis shoe while the other two were slippers, she has sweat bands on, and a basketball jersey over a toga and button up shirt. Box takes out a camera and takes the picture of Pinkie, "I need to make a statue! Put it in the living room on top of the pool table... What?" "You'd make a statue of... of THIS?!? "You're right! A marble statue with paint sploshed on it! Thanks for the idea Rarity, I'll be back soon!" Box said leaving in a mad sprint. "Wow. I wonder why he would want a mess in his house? I mean, no offense." Fluttershy hides her face as we hear the sound of a deflating balloon. "Well, woopty f***ing doo, everypony!" Pinkie shouts. She fires her... Black party cannon? BOOM BOOM BOOM The doors slam shut as everything goes dark. We woke up in my room, the cages repaired to be cages. My torches' yellow light is replaced by red and a flat maned pony is laying on my bed tossing a ball up and down. She turns to me and grins. "Well now, it looks like we're ALL awake now~." Pinkie said, her messed up outfit transformed into a tore up mess on her. "Let us out, cousin! We didn-" "Cousin a few branches removes. Not close enough to be an ApplePie." she replied, her mane covering an eye. I don't believe this! I can't believe this! Wait, Discord! It has to be Disc- Discord would never injure Fluttershy on second thought, I don't know who this is! All I know is she's not Pinkie Pie. "H- hey Pinkamena! How's it going?" Rainbow Dash called out. "I see you survived our last encounter, 'Dashie'. Its a shame your funeral had to be delayed. I sooo wanted a rainbow cupcake!" Pinkie said with a long sad "Dashie" in her sentence. "ONLY MY FRIENDS CAN CALL ME THAT!" Rainbow shouted. She backed up when Pinkamena drew close to her cell. "Thought so." she said with a smirk, looking at Dash. I want this to be Discord so bad, please, why can't this be him instead of her?!