//------------------------------// // Part One: Magical Resonance Interference // Story: My Life as a Bipedal Quadruped // by Snakeskin Ducttape //------------------------------// I was sure that the joy of being a medical professional would've died down by now, but no. Instead the bubbly feeling of accomplishment just sort of congealed into a sort of solid state. I had been a specialist in Magnetic Resonance Imaging for a little over two years now, so many years of schooling was finally paying off, monetarily and otherwise. I was sitting in the basement where our little department was located, and by “department” I mean myself and a man named Frank. Yeah, it wasn't a grand hustle-and-bustle hospital like where I had been in my prior position, but it was a nice place to work at. This department had just recently opened and the small hospital where I worked needed a specialist to get the project up and running. And so, as it's pretty much always done, one of the big hospitals a few counties over was contacted, the veterans there inquired if there were any young professionals who knew their stuff and had the patience, and temperament to run a small, new department by themselves to see if anyone was interested. I feel that I can't help but brag but I was the first choice. I'm good enough to show doctors and nurses the ropes with several of the latest models of scanners, and I'm a decent enough organizer. Also, getting a position in a hospital like this means I didn't get in the way in emergencies. I mean, sometimes you see youtube videos of people like me but who're athletic adventurers and skaters and stuff, I'm not quite like that but I'm pretty well adjusted. Still, not being at your fullest capacity isn't good when solving emergency issues where people's health are at stake. Not your fullest capacity you ask? What does that mean? Well like I said, I consider myself well adjusted. But despite what some manufactured “inspirational videos” I've seen says, disabled still means disabled. And missing your right arm, your right leg, and your right eye, makes you disabled. So anyway, I was swiveling slightly in my chair while double checking the reading from our latest scan, and putting on the finishing touches on my report when the ever cheery Samantha poked her head in through the door. "You ready for the next patient?" Sam asked in the usual chipper way. "Just about, gimme a few minutes, I'm just finishing up here," I answered without looking up. "Alright, it's a hip scan, and it's an elderly man but he doesn't use crutches or anything so you shouldn't have any problem since there are no heavy lifting and-" "Sam," I interrupted before the verbal trickle became a flood. "Yes you can leave early today." "Thanks, Gabe. You're the best! Though I was sort of expecting you'd let me since you pretty much run this place by yourself," Sam said with a smile and vanished like hygiene in a public toilet. - And now it was time to go over protocol with the patient. With me it's almost always two protocols, my own personal one followed by the official one. The first one still makes me feel a strange mix of amusement and slight exasperation. I liked imagining the patients' reaction like a data output log. [Display subject's thought process]: — I'm glad no one's here to see me in this gown thing. — Oh, here comes the doctor (/* misnomer; I don't actually have that title*/) that's gonna scan me. — It's a she! — (if compatible): She's pretty. [Anomaly detected]: —Does she have a limp? —Scanning... Anomaly confirmed. [Execute standard pleasantry procedures]: — Extend right arm. — Smile appropriately. — Scan features of newly arrived doctor. — [Error: Anomaly detected]: — Target's upper right extremity not found. Incompatible with gesture of greeting. — Aborting pleasantry procedures... — Pleasantry procedures aborted. [Pleasantry procedures required]. [Scan for pleasantry procedures]: — Processing... processing... processing... — “Pleasantry procedures” has encountered an unexpected run-time error. — Emergency restart initiated. [Revert to basic social protocols.] — Scanning for reference... ‘Aaand here we go.’ "Uh..." (‘Called it’) the man said as he awkwardly pulled back his right hand. ‘Now, I just extend my left hand before he starts scratching the back of his head with his. Wait. Oh, too late.’ "Oh!" he exclaimed as he realized that he just sabotaged my attempt at salvaging the social situation by busying himself with the hand he could have used to shake mine instead of his right. "I'm sorry." "Don't worry about it," I said with a small smile as he finally caught on, and after a little impromptu brain gymnastics we finally got to the point of getting a professional greeting. "I see you're wearing the standard lovely sky blue gown," I said. He looked a bit awkward at this, but I think he understood that I was making light of the situation to get some laid back vibes in the room after what seemed to be for him a social fiasco just seconds earlier. "So, Mr Berg, do you know what this scan entails?" "Well, I lie down in a tube for a while and you scan me?" "True, but we scan you with magnetic fields. Really strong ones," I said as I checked out his ring finger where the outlines of marriage were clearly visible. "And I see you've removed your wedding band, that's good. Some people, especially older men, come in here and don't realize that they haven't been able to remove their rings for decades. Which is unfortunate, because if you wear metal, you don't get a scan." He seemed to be a bit interested in this "Dr. Mercer told me to do that. Is that really that strict?" He asked. "Yup, I remember the last place I worked, someone wheeled an office chair too close to the machine, and..." I gave an abridged version of what happened, three fractured fingers, shutting down the whole machine, venting the cooling gas, ordering new gas, and calling for specialists from the manufacturer to come by to inspect it, then start it up again. He paled a bit when I laid down the cost of restarting the machine alone. "In short, no metal near this machine," I concluded. He seemed to think a bit about this "Uh. You aaah..." ‘Oh, one of those questions.’ "Ask away," I simply said. It didn't seem to be quite enough and instead he just gestured slightly with his head towards my right leg. "Mmhm, a prosthesis, but it's all carbon fiber and titanium, it's not magnetic at all," I said. "Oh," He seemed a bit taken aback by how frank I was when talking about my disabilities. If he was sticking around I would've been worried that he was never gonna relax, but he wasn't sticking around, so it didn't matter. "So, Mr Berg. Tell me a bit about yourself while I press buttons," I said as I sat down and started calibrating the machine for a hip scan of a sixty-something male with average build. "Like what?" He asked, a bit confused. "Like where you've worked, how long your hip has been aching, when you've noticed, what you've been doing at work when you noticed, and so on." "Well I..." He had apparently been working in a small metal workshop for most of his adult life, I inwardly rolled my eye, you didn't have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out that that meant that he worked on a daily basis with archaic tools with not nearly enough safety features on them, and if a work safety committee set foot in that place they'd probably pull the fire alarm in order to get people out of there as fast as possible, assuming there was a fire alarm. He kept talking disjointedly about his job while we walked into the chamber with the scanner, at my encouragement because his aching hip was almost certainly related to his job. A few red flags popped up in my head as he went on, though, and just as he was about to step over the threshold into the magnetic field, I grabbed his shoulder with my left hand. He was lucky I could because as far as I understood it, my right one stayed behind at the crash site all those years ago to keep my arm and leg company. "Hold on a second, Mr Berg, you've done a lot of spot welding, right?" He gave this some thought "Well, not really more or less than the other boys down at work." "But compared to the average person on the street you likely have, yes?" I asked and he nodded. Now I was getting really relieved I caught that. "And used those high-speed metal saws, right?" "Yeeees?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. "Have you used proper safety gear, especially safety goggles, every single time you've done so? Be honest now, for your own sake." I knew the answer before I asked. "Well, no." He seemed to pick up that this was somehow serious. "Mmm," I said and nodded, inwardly letting out a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry, Mr Berg but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to cancel this scan." "Wh- why?" He asked, sounding alarmed. After I laid down the possible consequences of him getting close to that machine he seemed to accept not getting a scan today. The risk of having four decades' accumulation of dust sized steel flakes being forcefully ripped out of your eye sockets just didn't seem worth it. "And you should be careful with your eyes, take it from me," I said, a bit mischievously, and lightly tapped my glass eye with my fingernail. He paled a bit again. ‘I really should stop doing that.’ "Alright, head up and knock on Frank's– uh, Dr Mercer's door and tell him what I told you. He'll probably schedule another examination and determine the next step after that. I'm guessing you're either gonna get a Computer Tomography scan or a scan in a lighter model." - Princess Twilight Sparkle had a lot on her plate, and it made her almost giddy. Studying the experiments of one of Equestria's greatest magical minds did that for her. "Apparently, this orb is for scrying for information from other worlds, somewhat like that mirror that he and Pri–" Twilight cleared her throat "– Celestia used for going on adventures together a thousand years ago," she said. "Careful, Twilight. That mirror led to almost destroying two Equestrias," warned Spike. That a juvenile dragon sometimes functioned as the voice of reason for an incredibly powerful unicorn (alicorn, these days, she still forgot that sometimes) was sometimes a bit worrying for those familiar with the de facto leader of the Elements of Harmony. "They wouldn't have been destroyed, per se, but alright I see your point. Still, some careful studying won't harm anypony, Starswirl the Bearded wouldn't have made it otherwise." Spike was a bit skeptical about this, but he knew what scrying meant. If Twilight instead found the tugging orb or the prodding orb he would start worrying for real, banish the thought about the bunsen burner orb. "And it magically logs your discoveries! This is amazing!" Gushed the lavender incarnation of regality. "Alright I'm gonna give it a spin," Twilight continued. "I don't even know where to start, so I'm just gonna pick one that Starswirl has already studied. Hmm, how about this one? Bipedal population, clearly intelligent but with unstable feudal and/or tribal societies. Harsh lives. Maritime based trade and farming in unfavorable conditions. Seemingly no magical power. Fraught with disease and conflict. Do not visit unprepared, preferably do not visit at all," Twilight mumbled to herself as she read the scrying orb's log about what it had found about the world and its dominant inhabitants. "Oh, what poor creatures! I wonder if they've improved their situation in the time it's been since last the orb scried their world?" It seemed that they had, but far beyond the point that Twilight was expecting. Compared to the lacking wooden houses, crude stone castles and muddy roads that Twilight had seen in the logs of the previous scrying, this world's civilizations were magnificent. That a world with no magic could build such cities (and keep them clean) was nothing short of amazing. Thousands of the indigenous population thundered down vast stretches of paved roads in self-propelled chariots, and by the coast she could see majestic ships, that were apparently an everyday sight for no one seemed to pay them any mind. “Fraught with disease,” came to Twilight's mind and she tried steering the orb's magic to locate a healer of some sort. What she saw astounded her even further. Like ponies, the inhabitants of this world had developed entire facilities to treat their sick. It made her a little envious, seeing how far these creatures had come in just a single millennia. "Astonishing!" The royal pony said in reverence. "Yeah," Her assistant said quietly across the small table, he too seeing and experiencing what Twilight did. Suddenly, they felt a disruption of a sort, not like a harsh wave, but rather an undercurrent that they had not been aware of before then. "Twilight?" Spike asked, a bit worried. "I feel it too. Don't worry, Spike, this device can't harm us, I've septuple checked that." This calmed down the dragon considerably. "Still, that felt a lot like magical power, and according to both mine and Starswirl's observation, this world doesn't have any magic in it." Spike had trouble wrapping his head around that. Magic just was, a world without magic was like a world without gravity, or warmth. "I'm gonna take a closer look, you can look away any time you want Spike," Twilight said as she scried closer to the strange disturbance. She saw a images of a large device, a clean white device with some sort of pony-hole on the side, sitting in a bare room, and it was humming. Suddenly she felt a great tug at her magical power, and a wave of energy shot out from her horn through the invisible walls separating the worlds. Twilight was fairly certain that if it wasn't for the orb's safety measures, she would have involuntarily teleported somewhere, possibly between worlds this time. As she recovered from the slight shock a moment later, she could feel the wave surfing towards the source of the disturbance, the great device, where one of the indigenous was apparently situated at that moment. Many years of magical studying and experimentation made her jump to a conclusion that she prayed to Faust would be wrong. It wasn't. Twilight's ears drooped. "Uh oh." - ‘Another day, another handful of patients,’ I thought as I was preparing to close down shop at the MRI section, shutting down computers, turn of lights, have a look at the machine that was the heart and soul of my little section to make sure that no one left stains that might stick, the last patient of the day had worried me a bit. The humming from the machine suddenly intensified, like someone turned all the knobs of an amplifier to the highest settings. I looked up. "Wha–" was the only sound I could make before I heard a sucking sound, and I had the strange sensation of being pulled into the opening of the machine before everything went black, all within the span of about half a second. There was no flash. No ceremony. I just suddenly felt tired and numb. Birds chirped in the distance, which was nice but also puzzling. ‘Head resting against something soft and uneven, along with the rest of my body, I'm lying down it seems.’ I couldn't see anything however, most likely cause my eye was closed. I took steps to rectify that and immediately aborted my plan when my eye was blasted with a painfully bright light. I noticed something strange about that last action however; it worked really well. Having the color and complexion that I do means that I have to scrunch up my entire face if I want block out bright light, but this time simply bringing down my eyelids did the trick. And I know that the light hadn't disappeared because I could still feel it on my face. ‘Speaking of which, that felt a lot like sunlight.’ That, coupled with the birdsong made me realize that I was most likely outdoors. ‘Let's see, I was preparing to go home for the day, and then... Uuh, then nothing. I'm up to speed as far as I can tell. Preparing to go home for the day, then lying outdoors with the sun in my face. I am now extremely confused, but let's slow down and check a few important things first.’ I sort of wriggled my entire body and realized that I felt really numb. ‘That's not very reassuring but it's better than lances of pain I guess. Now time for detailed inspections, eye socket first. Feel around the general right eye area to make sure that I've either got my glass eye inserted, or that my eyelid is at least closed.’ My arm didn't feel like lead, because that would be stupid, but it did feel heavy and I realized that I was alarmingly exhausted. That's not very reassuring either, but hopefully that's the only reason for the numbness. The first attempt at lifting my arm had no real result, but I wasn't giving up that easily. ‘The only thing that can defeat me right now is a nap. So, a few deep breaths, and heave!’ There was a thud. ‘OW! ‘Is my hand in a cast? No wonder it felt so heavy. I just clubbed myself in the forehead.’ I did manage to land it sort of right though so time to start feeling around with the back of my wrist. ‘Results: eyelid = closed, arm = strangely shaped and textured. Is it swollen? ‘What conclusions can I reach if I combine all my current knowledge about my situation? Ambient sound, brightness, position, exhaustion, numbness, disorientation and state of hand could all suggest that maybe I am not outdoors but in a hospital room with open windows, maybe partially covered in bandages. Please don't tell me I've been in another accident. Or at the very least let me keep all my limbs this time. I sighed and started opening my eye. Time to face the music, whatever that's supposed to mean. ‘Blinding light, eyes slowly adjusting, vision returning... green meadows? A muzzle? Blue fur!? A hoof!?’ Staying awake just doesn't seem worth it at this point. ‘Hey, something's coming. Huh, look at that. A big ugly dog that's throwing a calico bag over me.’ I let out an internal sigh. I don't even care anymore. Hark! My old friend/arch nemesis is here. Nap-time! You have me at a disadvantage this time, oh worthy adversary, I submit myself to you with my head held high.’ - "Ok, girls, I'm having some success with locating our target. It seems to have landed almost directly to the east of Ponyville. Hopefully along the borders of the Everfree and not directly inside it." Princess Twilight was pacing back and forth through the Golden Oaks library with a dozen knick knacks floating around her. "As I said before, the locator matrices can't pinpoint the target reliably so close to the Everfree woods, not to mention that since the target originates from another world it–" "WHOA WHOA! Hold on just a minute!" Rainbow Dash interrupted. "You said you accidentally teleported somepony to the edge of the Everfree Forest–" "I said I HOPE I teleported it to the edge of the forest, as opposed to into the forest." "Whatever, you never said anything about somepony from another world!" "Also," Pinkie Pie chimed in, "Why are you calling this pony an 'it'?" "Because I don't think it even is a pony!" Twilight said in agitation. "I'm not even sure if it's a he or a she! And yes, something was teleported here from another world. The world I was talking about me studying, remember? I told you like ten minutes ago!" The other five ponies looked at each other before the alabaster unicorn took a step forward. "Twilight, dear, we've barely been able to keep up with what you've been saying. And we haven't even been here for two minutes, I think you might want to calm down a bit before we try and solve this problem." Twilight stopped mid-step and looked around at what she was doing. She was trying to mount a rescue operation of an unknown target in a largely unknown location, and in her haste she had apparently readied such useful things as a feather duster and a doorstop. Her friends had indeed not been here for ten minutes, she had only managed to squeeze ten minutes worth of explanation into one and a half minute. She let out a deep sigh and hung her head. "I'm sorry, everypony, it's just... I'm really worried. I might have done something terrible." Rarity put a hoof on her friend's withers. "Then let's try and solve it properly. You were saying something about studying another world when the device you used did something." Twilight took a moment to collect herself. "Yes, I was using an old scrying device of Starswirl the Bearded to study another world when I came across a strange phenomenon. It seemed to react to the magic that I was pouring into the device and by some freak coincidence it manifested as a teleportation spell. But the device seemed to have been designed with safety for the user in mind, so when the teleporting spell went off it was reversed or something. So instead of me being teleported to the other world, the other world was teleported here, or it would have if the power the scrying orb was letting through had allowed it. Instead it was a small chunk that came here, and I'm pretty sure it was one of the inhabitants." "So you accidentally dumped some mystery creature from another world into the middle of the wilderness?" Rainbow Dash said. Applejack and Rarity glowered at the blue pegasus, Fluttershy uttered an almost silent "Oh my!" while Twilight hung her head again, and Pinkie Pie looked excited. "There ain't no need to rub it in, Dash!" Snapped Applejack. "No, she's right," Twilight said dejectedly. "I just hope we can solve this." "Alright! What needs doing?" Rainbow Dash, always the creature of action, said. "Well, we need to conduct a thorough search of this area here," Twilight said while pointing at a spot on a map of Ponyville and its surrounding areas. "Oh! Oh! Like hide and seek?" Pinkie Pie exclaimed excitedly. Her friend's antics were making Twilight feel a bit better, Pinkie had a knack for knowing how to solve strange problems, no matter how airheaded she seemed. "Yes, only we don't exactly know what we're looking for, and hopefully nopony is actually hiding. Alright, first let's go see Zecora, she might've seen something and we can ask her to keep a lookout for Equestria's new visitor." Twilight said. "Oh! Good idea!" Pinkie Pie said as the group headed out of the library. "She's super duper good at hide and seek! Once, when I pretended I was mosquito, I couldn't find her even when she was standing right in front of me and trying to get my attention!" - I was lying in a rucksack of some sort. The strangest thing in my mind about that is not the situation in itself, believe it or not, it was how fast I made peace with the thought of it all. Actually no, when I think about it, it was probably just that my brain had figured that the middleman between itself and the senses it used to perceive the world around me had taken sick leave for an extended period of time and no replacement had been found. So I had a strangely calm demeanor, or perhaps a general lack of demeanor, when I was lifted out of the bag and held aloft by my cheeks by two enormous, filthy paws. Interestingly, this didn't hurt. ‘Maybe the numbness is my friend?’ "Look! We found pony!" I heard a voice immediately behind me say. ‘Should I open my eye? Let's wait.’ "Pony with horn can find gems!" The voice said again and I realized that it sounded like Andy Serkis! ‘Alright eye, take a look around and tell me what you see.’ "That is small and broken pony," A deep and gruff voice said as I opened my eye, and saw that the most recent speaker had the ugliest face I have ever seen. Or it could just be a trick of the absence of light, because it seemed like I was in a dark cave. "Small and broken pony cannot escape," Andy Serkis said excitedly. "Must help us find precious gems." ‘Precious! Oh, Mr Serkis, you know how to please your fans! What's all this about a pony though?’ The ugly face got closer and I realized that it belonged to a dog. ‘Oh, that's right, I saw a big dog earlier I think, and I'm being held by paws. There seems to be some sort of canine motif going on around here. Whatever, Andy Serkis obviously isn't within my line of sight and I can't move my head right now. Alright, eyeball, you can take a break.’ There was a thud behind me and I had the alarming sensation of falling, predictably followed by the unpleasant sensation of landing. ‘Ouch. A bit, at least.’ "We do not want ponies here!" The gruff voice shouted. "Cause trouble! Big ponies come look!" I opened my eye again and took another look around me. I was in a large cave, surrounded by dogs of alarming size towering over me, most of them wearing armor and holding spears. There was a few other things decorating the cave as well, some torches, a throne of some sort and what looked like a minecart. I felt my brain catching up with what I was seeing and some part of me predicted that it wouldn't be pretty if it did. ‘Nap-time, my love. Hold me in your warm embrace and take me far, far away.’ - The Everfree forest is not to be traveled through carelessly, but the former bearers of the Elements of Harmony was a force to be reckoned with, nigh-omnipotent magical artefacts or not. So it was after a short and somewhat anticlimactic journey that the champions of Equestria stood in front of the potion master Zecora's hut and knocked. After a moment they heard her answer, a bit drowsily, "Visitors are free to open after they knock, that's why my door does not have a lock." The friends looked at each other, slightly confused at the lazy sounding voice. Twilight pushed the door open and the six ponies filed in. The Zebra was positioned in her usual meditative position, balanced upside-down on top of a quarterstaff. The air was often thick inside Zecora's hut, but this time it was extraordinarily so. The striped potion-master opened an eye and smiled in a relaxed way when she saw who was visiting her. "Ah, dear friends, at the moment you should take care to breathe easy, right now the air in here might make you feel queasy." The six ponies noticed that Zecora's enormous cauldron that usually sat in the fire pit in the middle of the hut had been replaced with a smaller one, and from it rose fumes that was giving off a sweet but thick smell. They felt a bit light headed. Rainbow Dash decided to land rather than stir up more fumes from the cauldron with her flapping wings. "Yeah, good advice, what are you doing?" she asked. "As Apple Bloom found out when she offered me assistance, potion-makers should take care to sharpen their resistance," Zecora answered. When she saw the confused expressions she elaborated. "I mean that I'm adjusting myself to not be knocked out, every time I mix a potion extra stout." "Oh," Twilight answered. "I see, this is simply for hardening yourself for when you use ingredients with hallucinogenic effects?" "Ooh! Ooh! Mr and Mrs Cake said I couldn't use those in my pastries!" Said Pinkie Pie. "Which I don't really understand, I thought they could be great for when the foals visit the dentist." The others looked at Pinkie for a moment before Rarity spoke up. "Yes, well, we are actually here on some important business. Twilight, dear, it's probably best if you take it from here." Rarity paused and looked a bit embarrassed when she realized that she had just spoken in rhyme like their zebra friend. Twilight started explaining to Zecora about the incident back at the library and how a creature from another world was transported to the edge of the Everfree. "So we decided to come here in case it wandered into the woods and... Zecora, could we take this conversation outside?" "Oh, my head in my behind," Zecora said as she gracefully jumped down from the top of her staff and invited the others to exit her hut. "I've gotten used to it, so it slipped my mind." The others drew some welcome breaths of fresh air and hoped that the slight swaying of their vision would fade soon. "Well," Twilight continued. "You know this forest, we wondered if you've seen anything."' "Princess, I am sorry to say, I have not spied anything unusual this day. But you still did right in coming to me, I cannot let something innocent wander among the dangers of the Everfree." Zecora said. "That's great! I would like to try and pinpoint the place where it arrived to see if I can track it, I'm pretty sure it hasn't been staying still. And if that doesn't work, perhaps you might find it? I feel it's a bit much to ask you to search for some unknown creature in the Everfree," Twilight said. "Worry not, Twilight Sparkle, for my safety as I know this place to and fro," Zecora said. "After all, I live here, as you know." - Sometimes you wake up bit by bit, awareness slowly creeping up on you and easing you into the idea that you should take a look at the alarm clock, then teasing you with the knowledge that you're probably gonna have to catapult yourself out of bed and skip breakfast if you don't want to be late for work. Other times you wake up instantly and feel ready to go tackle whatever the day has to throw at you. I woke up with a strange mix of elements of both options. You might think that this is just normal waking up, but it turns out that no, that doesn't need to be the case. What I'm saying is that I was suddenly awake and aware that I had no idea of where I was. There was a rustling sound all around me, and I was lying in a strange position in a dark and tight place. And the whole world seemed to be swinging around. ‘Oh right, the bag. ‘Alright, I've been awake for two short spells I think. And I seem to have, ugh, fainted both times. This ends now. ‘Vision... not very helpful at the moment. How about smell? Whoa! I know you only found hints of dirty cloth but impressive work! I didn't know you were that good. Taste, judging by what smell found you probably don't want any part in this. Touch? In a swinging bag you said earlier. An itchy one. Interesting. Hearing, you're up. Rhythmic thumps, like footfalls? Vision, smell and touch all suggest that I'm being carried around somewhere in that infamous bag. Hearing's findings supports available data. And also suggest that there are up to three individuals around me.’ I decided that I should probably try to gather more information before acting. Thankfully, the exhaustion seems to have gone from paralyzing to merely debilitating. ‘I can move things now! Sort of, at least. ‘Okay, hand, listen up. You and sense of touch are going on a fact finding expedition. Your first target: My face.’ I moved my hand up to my head and was immediately greeted with something big and hard rubbing against my cheek. ‘Hand, I notice that you didn't bring touch with you. I know you two don't always like working together, especially when hot soup is involved, but this is important, okay? Wait! Forget touch for now. Move down a bit.’ I slid my hand and whatever it was covered in down across my throat. Compared to what I was used to this seemed like a colossal undertaking. To put it bluntly, my neck was enormous. And unlike my hand I could feel its texture, and it felt alien. ‘Oh, this is bad. Strangely shaped body parts means injuries, and if this is a swelling, I could be in serious trouble.’ The bag I was in suddenly lurched in some direction and cartoonishly dumb sounding voice said, "Uh, me thinks pony wake up." ‘Pony? There were talk about ponies before... Really large neck and hard hand without a sense of touch? Hand, or whatever you are these days... Inspect my face again.’ A voice very similar to the other said from another direction. "What we do now? Boss said to take pony to pony town before it notice it gone." My mouth and my nose were positioned on an outcropping ahead of the rest of my head. ‘I have a snout! No, wait. That's not it. Oh, what's the word?’ I thought as I mentally snapped my fingers, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to deal with the reason why I couldn't do it physically. "Stupid! You wake it up!" The voice of Andy Serkis said. "We leave it here. Ponies won't know, boss won't know." ‘They're talking about me aren't they? I wonder if them leaving me is a good thing or a bad thing.’ "But this place full of timber wolves," the one closest to me said. Well, that answers that. As I felt myself being lowered to the ground, a howl sounded in the distance, and my hoof's journey of discovery was temporarily halted. "Me going back to mine! Bring pony if you want but me not sticking around!" The third speaker said. ‘They're literally throwing me to the wolves? You're not Andy Serkis!’ I saw an opening in my little habitat as the designated bag carrier let it go from his grip and the sound of three sets of footfalls, or pawfalls, I guess, vanished into the distance. Between being so fatigued that I could barely move, being captured by enormous dogs, carried around in a bag and discovering that my body was not my own, I feel I've handled the situation fairly well. However, I was now getting worried. The howls had quieted down but I wasn't relaxing yet. ‘So what's the first order of business? Getting out of the bag and getting a look at my new form would be a good start.’ I started dragging myself towards the opening of the bag and out into the world. True enough, my foot seemed to be a hoof as well and– ‘Ow! No way. I just pulled my tail with it.’ I poked my head out of the bag with some difficulty and looked around. I was in a forest, it seemed, or by the edge of one, I realized after I'd had a closer look. There was a sort of treeline where the forest was really dense on one side, and in the other direction I could see it open up into rolling plains, my sense of smell was reminding me that it was now really sharp, but I filed that away until later. I would really like to move towards the plains at that point, for several reasons. I was pretty sure that the howls I heard came in the direction of the woods, and the landscape of the plains was a lot more inviting. Also, there was a really lovely sunset partially visible through the trees which I would like to get a closer look at. However, I suspected that reaching the plains wouldn't be that simple. I dragged myself the rest of the way out of the bag and raised my head from the ground to take a look at myself. True enough, I was now in an equine body. With royal blue, fuzzy hair for some reason. That was weird. I couldn't really tell as I had nothing to compare myself with nearby, but I was also pretty sure that I was very small. Like the body of a child. Or a foal. One thing that I had suspected all along from the sensations of lying in the bag, but which I was still a little disappointed to discover, was my arm and leg, or lack thereof. As always, my right arm was completely gone, this time however, it seemed like the scar was not directly visible beneath the fur. My right leg, or hind leg now, was also missing a few inches down the thigh, and what a thigh is called on a horse, I have no idea. My tail caught my attention too, It was poofy, and a light shade of orange with indigo highlights. I was almost entranced by my bizarre coloration before a thought struck me. ‘Aw geeze! Aren't horses put down when their legs are crippled? Things are looking worse by the second. And then there are the wolves! ‘Alright, let's say I manage to get away from any predators... unlikely, would I be euthanized as soon as I reach civilization?’ I felt something like a jolt of electricity shooting through my head as I realized what I was experiencing. ‘I'm a tiny blue horse! How am I even having lucid thoughts at the moment!? Why am I not a blubbering wreck!? Wait, maybe I am. Maybe my perception of reality had gone completely out the window and this is just me being bored of the pillow room and hug-yourself shirt? No, let's not think like that. Because if this is real that's a dangerous road to walk down. Heh, trot down. Then again, if I wasn't mistaken I had already slept twice since all this started. Maybe that has something to do with it. Subconsciousness and all that. Also, you're a professional, it's not becoming to refer to medical restraints that way.’ I let my head fall down to the ground again. ‘Hmm, speaking of blubbering, can I make sounds? Can I talk?’ I felt a bit sheepish for not having tried that earlier. "Uh, I– Whoa, I can!" I said excitedly. "Okay, that certainly helps with the euthanasia factor." ‘If I can talk then I can ask for help. And would you really put down a horse when It's actually telling you not to?’ My mouth (still drawing a blank on what a horse's mouth is actually called) wasn't as long as on a real horse but it still wasn't near the shape of a human mouth. I found it funny how I could talk so fluently despite that. ‘Clearly there's more to this situation than bad news. So let's not give up. Now that I'm coming to terms with being a colorful little horsie, for the moment at least, so let's move on and check myself for injuries. This is kind of warranted considering my fatigue.’ I raised myself up again and took another look. ‘No, I seem to be doing all right. Next, my head.’ I felt my mane around my wrist (another horse term I'm unfamiliar with) and like my tail it was also huge and poofy. I shook it to the front of my eyes and was met with bangs that can only be described as magnificent, and I had a distinct feeling that I knew how it looked in a mirror. ‘CaaAAaarie. CaaAAAAAAAaarie! Heh! Oh, that felt good. A nice change from the worry and utter confusion.’ I've already figured by my coloration and sort of magnificent tail and hairdo that I'm not a normal horse, or pony, if those dog things are to be believed, but it was still a pleasant surprise to learn about my foreleg's wide range of motion. I could point it in almost every direction and reach every part of my head, and while fingers would have helped with the inspection, I didn't seem to have any injuries– ‘Wait! What's this? ‘A hard protrusion sticking out of my forehead. Am I? No way. But then again, what else has been normal recently?’ I looked up. ‘I'm a unicorn. This is great! I'm magical and– ...damn! I'm pretty sure I read a story when I was a kid where a bunch of bad guys were poaching unicorns for the healing properties of their horns. This could complicate the whole “finding civilization and asking for help” thing. Then again, aren't unicorns supposed to be impossible, or near-impossible, to capture?’ I looked down and inspected myself again, then let out a sigh. ‘I guess there has to be exceptions, how else would the stories exist?’ These last few minutes had offered so many revelations that I startled myself a bit when I remembered the wolf howls. I took another look around and let out a sigh of relief when I found out that I was still alone. I was also starting to appreciate the perks with my new neck. ‘Maybe those wolves had caught the scent of something else and skulked away in another direction? Hmph! Hopefully towards those dogs. ‘But anyway, there clearly are predators around here, which means that I should not be.’ I started dragging myself across the ground out from the treeline. The good news about this is that it wasn't painful at all, barely even uncomfortable. You'd expect that dragging yourself on your belly across the forest floor would start hurting immediately, but not for me it seems. The bad news was that this was going really, really slow. And while I had enough energy to look around and feel around with my hoof, relocating myself in any meaningful way just wasn't an option, at least for more than a minute, which seemed to be about four body lengths. ‘Time to reassess my situation: I am currently in what is likely a dangerous place. I lack the strength and physical aptitude to even move or fend for myself. I look like a creature of fantasy. I can talk, but likely the only individuals aware of my state and location didn't seem like ally material. I am uninjured, though, and I have a– Of course! I have a magical horn! ‘Alright, this could be the last venue available to me as far as I can tell. If I can do magic, maybe I can help myself. ‘So, how does one do magic with one's horn?’ To my slight dismay I realized that I have no idea where to even start. ‘Okay, let's not give up now, you've read fantasy novels. How do they do it in those? ‘Funny how hard that was to remember all of a sudden. Come on, think! Magic words, perhaps? What's the first thing Harry Potter learned? Those books had this Latin thing going on, right? Let's try that. You know some words in Latin.’ "Ignis!" Nothing. ‘Well, maybe it requires some visualization or something. Now that I think about it, perhaps I shouldn't try that again, lighting a forest on fire while I'm in it and unable to move is not a good idea. ‘What else? Oh, right! You know how to tell Romans to go home! Much better idea. Let's see, “Romanes eunt domus”. I sniggered a bit as John Cleese chastised me in my head. No, “Romani... something, Domum”. What was that middle word? Argh! Where's YouTube when you need it? Think. Think. “Romani ite domum.” That's it! Now, “ite” is plural for “i”, and “ego” is some form of self like “me” or “I”. hopefully this could send me home!’ "Ego I Domum." Still nothing. ‘Yeah, that would have been too good to be true, wouldn't it? Whatever, concentrate and try again. Try and tense up your horn.’ "Ego I Domum!" ‘There was a sensation there. This time try to really project yourself into your horn.’ I closed my eye. "Ego I– what?" I felt it, all around me. The earth, and the air, and the trees. I'm not sure how to describe it with words, but it was life, and power, and... Magic. The sensation was gone a moment after it began, but somehow I knew what it was I saw. Or rather, felt. ‘It wasn't the “magic words”, was it?’ I projected myself into my horn again and I, sensed, magic as it swirled around me. It's difficult to describe, but it was like seeing, and still not. When you use your sight to see something, that something blocks or obscures whatever is behind it, unless that something is invisible, in which case you do not see it. This wasn't so this time, I could perceive the world beyond my senses, everything, all around me. Imagine perceiving scents with your eyes. It had the nose's ability to take in sensations from numerous sources that would block each other if they were perceived with sight, and the instant feedback of the eyes. ‘I know I've seen this before, but where? Where and when could I have visualized magic before? ‘There are some shrubs over there. I can see, feel how one small twig was dying as leaves higher up blocked its access to sunlight, the magic slowly leaving it.’ I perceived the swirling shapes and colors in the twig, muted compared to the ones around it, and somehow I knew what they meant, and knew how they could be influenced. ‘So, I definitely have magic. How do I use it and not just observe it?’ I closed my eye and projected myself into my horn, and this time I reached out. The twig instantly became full of life again and pushed its way above the others and into the open. "... Interesting." - Scratch and his brother, Scratch, were not having a good day. They were very conflicted, something they did not enjoy. Boss had been very clear when he said that taking ponies is a bad idea. And that the one they found should be returned before it wakes up and before anyone else notices that it's gone. It was simple, boss was above them in the hierarchy, and when he told them to do something, they did it. The thing is, Lugnut was also above them in the hierarchy, and he told them to abandon the pony, even though boss was above him too! And boss told him, too! Scratch's brain was hurting. Even so, he had to admit, being where the timber wolves were not was a pretty good thing. Lugnut was in charge of them right now so he should be the one to blame if anyone finds out what they've done. Yeah, it was Lugnut's fault. Maybe he should tell boss about what Lugnut had done. Scratch didn't like Lugnut. If Scratch told the boss what Lugnut had done, Lugnut might get Black Bag duty. "If you tell boss about this, I make sure you get Black Bag duty!" Lugnut shouted to Scratch. So much for that idea. Lugnut had been yelling angrily at Scratch and his brother on and off for some time as they ran back towards the mine, when he suddenly yelped. "Ow! What? Whaaat iiis...–" Lugnut sounded strange as Scratch looked at him and saw him holding a dart in his paw. Lugnut collapsed on the ground and began snoring heavily, this was better than him yelling, but Scratch didn't like the thought of those around him suddenly collapsing. Scratch was conflicted again. Scratch heard something behind him and turned around to see a pony in a robe standing there. She held a blow gun in her mouth. Scratch prided himself in being able to figure out that the pony shot a dart at Lugnut. And it only took him a few seconds to do so! "You found a creature earlier, to the west. It seems you took it back to your nest," the pony said calmly. Scratch wasn't the brightest of diamond dogs, he knew enough to know that. But being a diamond dog means having a good sense of when something is more dangerous than you. For once, Scratch was not conflicted. It was best to answer this pony's question. Truthfully, and fast. "Uh, yeah, Lugnut found small pony," Scratch said and slowly backed away with his brother. "A small pony from beyond the world's veil?" the cloaked pony seemed to say to herself. "Go on, I would like to hear this tale." "Uh, Lugnut found small pony with horn, small pony was broken so Lugnut said it could not escape," Scratch said. He was confused. The pony in front of him was clearly more than a match for them. But things that were more than a match for him were usually bigger and spent a lot more time snarling and drooling. That was probably because almost all things he had seen that were more dangerous than him were other diamond dogs. Ponies, it seemed, can be dangerous when just standing still. Scratch was learning a lot today. "Interesting, so tell me now. This pony was broken how?" The pony said. Scratch suspected that he didn't know the proper... what was it now? Words! That's it. "Uh, just broken, some bits gone." The pony gestured for him to continue. "Then we took it to boss. Boss get angry at Lugnut. Boss don't want ponies in mine. Boss said to take the pony to pony village before they notice. Then we go, and pony wake up when we over there," Scratch said and pointed behind the pony. "And we hear timber wolves. Then Lugnut tells us to leave pony and we do that." Scratch was getting worried. The pony in front of him was getting tense. Like boss sometimes did. But worse. Finally, it spoke again. "You should make sure that by something else you are not found, for the Everfree's beasts would surely appreciate prey that is just lying around." The pony gestured towards Lugnut, still snoring on the ground. Then it turned away and galloped in the direction he had pointed. Scratch didn't get the feeling that it was fleeing. Scratch looked at his brother. They picked up Lugnut by his paws and started hauling him towards the mine as fast as they could. Scratch was not conflicted anymore, boss was gonna hear about this, and Scratch didn't care that Lugnut didn't want that. - Zecora raced through the forest, relieved that she managed to control her emotions. It had been difficult, but she didn't have time to pummel diamond dogs when a foal's life was at risk. ‘The dogs had brought a maimed foal to the edge of the Everfree.’ Zecora was running as fast as the greatest earth pony athlete. ‘And then they left it there when timber wolves were closing in.’ A doctor would've been worried that Zecora would hurt herself at this rate. There was no time to warn the elements. She only had a vague idea of where they would be. Zecora sped up. - ‘Okay, I can sense magic around me and I can influence some of it to some extent. Hey, what do I look like, magically? I Projected myself into my horn again and copped a feel. ‘Wow, this is really something.’ Beautiful, fascinating shapes made up my new form. And I made some really interesting discoveries: My arm and leg, the physically missing ones that is, were still there magically. And I had digits curled up around my hooves, with a slightly different magical “tone” than the rest of me. They moved when I willed my fingers to move. I reached out and tried to pluck a strand of grass. ‘No dice. There must be some trick to it. I'll figure it out later. ‘Well then. What to do now? I should try and improve my situation with my new abilities. But how? And in which way?’ Taking a magical look at myself again, I noticed that I can move my phantom limbs (I figured that was an appropriate term). But they didn't seem to be able to interact with the physical world, though. Suddenly I heard a loud snarl behind me and I whipped my head around to face... ‘Wolves made out of wood?’ I was sort of grateful for that last part because the fear of having a pack of predators sneaking up on me and the puzzlement over the bizarre sight sort of cancelled out each others' paralyzing effects. "Ooh, 'timber wolves', I get it!" I said. The one in front, there were six in all, snarled again. ‘Oh, right. This is not the time to appreciate puns. ‘Okay, this is bad, very bad. But I have mysterious powers and I don't even know what they can do. Everything might not be hopeless, but I should act really soon.’ The one in front started charging towards me. ‘No, Wait! I need to come up with a plan first!’ It was about to pounce me when a branch– no, a staff shot into it from the side and nailed it into a tree, where large chunks of it were smashed off. Whew! But what's going on now? I looked to the direction where the staff had come from to see a robed zebra jump out through the undergrowth and place herself with a wide stance between myself and the remaining wolves. Wow! "To hunt and kill this one you are free," the zebra said. ‘Wait? They're free to– then what's with the rescue?’ "but know that you will have to go through me," she concluded. ‘Oh, it was bravado! In verse! I like this one.’ Two of the wolves charged while the other three split up into two different directions. The zebra gracefully jumped over the charging wolves and cartwheeled towards her staff. ‘There's a talking zebra over here doing kung fu! I have never been to Kansas. But if I had, I wouldn't think that I was there anymore. ‘I am now being rescued by a zebra, and while things are getting really exciting, I am starting to get really shaky. Maybe I should try and get away? It would be easier for my rescuer if she didn't have to worry about protecting me at least.’ I must've looked pretty pathetic at that point, pawing at the ground, trying uselessly to get away, when I looked back at the zebra who was flipping through the air, smacking the wolves with her staff and kicking them with her rear hooves. That's when I noticed that the injuries she inflicted were being unmade, the splinters and twigs that left the wolves' bodies seemed to have a life of their own, and they reunited with their bodies constantly. No wolf was heading for me yet though. ‘The zebra has apparently got the full attention of the pack. Wait– Uh oh.’ I looked toward the spot where the first casualty of the fight lay, the wolf that had charged me was also being reassembled. My heart sank. It was pretty clear that the zebra was trying to rescue me, but since the enemy was apparently infinite, that could only happen by retreating, something that I was just not capable of. The wolf was now completely reassembled and while I could hear the fight going strong behind me, this one seemed to have eyes only for me. It was slowly advancing and snarling, something I found superfluous as I was plenty scared at that point anyway. It started charging once more and I let out a startled cry as I desperately tried to scamper away. My rescuer seems to have noticed, though, as she had disengaged with the other foes and once again came rushing to my aid. She jumped over me towards my attacker, and judging by the sound she showed it what's what one more time. However, her luck seemed to have run out, because the other wolves had been following her and this time she did not have time to prepare a defense. The world slowed down as I took in what was happening. My rescuer had gone to seemingly impossible lengths to keep me safe, but now she was going to die, and then I was going to die, and it would be my fault. I would never even know her name. ‘... This will not do.’ I projected myself into my horn and saw the world in that strange way again. My rescuer was a bright, shining beacon, and the ones heading for her were crisp shapes of swirling colors. I knew what I was looking for. And I knew where to find it. ‘There!’ I was running out of time. They were inches from her. They would bring her down. Tear mortal wound and break bones. This time, I didn't just reach out with my magic, I poured it all out of my horn. This was not the time for subtleties. I had really just intended to find the central point for the wolves' magic, their heart, or core, so to speak, and give it a good yanking. But it seems I overdid it a bit. A nova of energy shot out through my horn and the timber wolves were blasted into pieces, which started raining down across the landscape. I was suddenly extremely tired. And I want you to consider the word “extremely” for a bit. But first things first. The zebra was lying on her side a small way away from where she stood when the wolves had pounced. ‘Oh no, no no nononono. Did it get her too?’ She seemed unharmed but I needed to make sure. Once again I tried to project myself into my horn but it didn't work. ‘Drained of magic, perhaps? That could explain why I felt so cold all of a sudden. ‘Oh, and here's Nap-Time again. ‘No, Nap-Time, this is important!’ I started crawling over to my rescuer with a haste that only desperation can summon. I was utterly exhausted but rest had to wait. I finally reached her and... ‘She breathes! ‘She lives, she looks unharmed. Okay Nap-Time, where were we?’