//------------------------------// // Chapter Five: Present Mistakes, Past Troubles // Story: Trauma Center: Equestrian Opinion // by Legion222 //------------------------------// Trauma Center: Equestrian Opinion Chapter Five: Present Mistakes, Past Troubles Location: Ponyville Medical "Thanks for your help, Civil," Nurse Temperament smiled sheepishly at the yellow Unicorn mare beside her. "I just can't seem to get the hang of inserting those IVs myself." The two mares were walking down a long hallway, having just finished preparing Doctor Styles's next patient, one Mrs. Ditzy Doo, for the upcoming operation. "No problem, Angel," the mare giggled back, her dark blue mane covering her eyes for a moment as she nodded. "I know how tough it is without magic. Some friends dared me to try on a dummy back in med school. Let's just say I'm glad it was only a dummy." The two mares shared a laugh at that. "I know it's not exactly easy, but I still feel silly calling the head anesthesiologist down just to help me put an IV in," Nurse Temperament shook her head with a smile. "Thanks again, Civil." Rolling her eyes, the yellow mare sighed. "I told you before; it's no problem. But," the grin she was failing to hide could easily have been described as evil, "I suppose if you really feel like you need to pay me back, there's something I've been meaning to ask you." Curious, Nurse Temperament nodded her assent. "What's up with you and Doctor Styles?" Angelic Temperament took a step back, surprised. Eyes widening, she stammered back, "Wha- what do you mean? There's nothing 'up' with us." Sighing, Civil shook her head. "Not like that, Angel." Locking eyes with the now confused nurse, she elaborated. "It doesn't take a psychologist to realize that you really don't like the guy, and not just romantically. What I want to know is why you dislike him." Angel's confused expression was replaced with a scowl. "Why? He's just so... So infuriating! He's gone from acting like he has no idea what he's doing to acting like he knows everything, he hardly ever listens to anything I say, he's late almost every day, he's a complete slob-" "And," Civil cut her off, calmly but forcefully ending Angel's tirade, "the first thing he did when he met you was mention how young you were for a nurse, right?" Caught off-guard, the young nurse was quiet for a moment. "Well," she finally replied, "yeah. I mean, he's no more than a couple years older than me, and the first thing he does is tell me that I'm too young to be a real nurse!" "And has he mentioned it since?" Still calm in the face of the nearly shouting pink Pegasus, Civil had to resist the urge to grin as Angel's demeanor became far more subdued. "Er, well," Nurse Temperament floundered for a bit as she thought back over the past few weeks of working with the rookie surgeon, "no. No he hasn't." Her temper flared back up a bit, "But what difference does that make?" "Have you ever considered, Angel," Civil pressed her side against Angel's, her voice dropping to a whisper as she leaned in closer, "that maybe, just maybe, he didn't mean it? He is a stallion, after all. They have a tendency of saying the first thing that pops into their heads without thinking." Both mares shared a laugh at that. "Alright," Angel conceded with a smile, which the yellow Unicorn was happy to return, "you win. Maybe I was being a bit unfair, holding that against him like that." "And..?" the yellow Unicorn pressed, bumping her flank against Angel's, looking at her expectantly. "What are you going to tell him?" Angel's smile faltered, dropping into a frown of uncertainty. "I'll give him another chance, Civil. We'll see if he deserves an apology." Sighing, the anesthesiologist shook her head and allowed a more normal distance to come between them. "I suppose that's the best I'm getting for now, huh?" Then, with a light smirk, "Just try not to fall in love with him too quickly." With that, she abruptly turned into an intersecting hallway, leaving a sputtering and blushing Nurse Temperament in her wake. Sitting at his paper-covered desk, Direct boredly flipped through the pages of his next patient’s records, not even really skimming the information as he waited for his assistant to return from prepping the patient. Why are there so many pages? he pondered. It's not like these operations are all that complex. His mind wandered through various topics, like when Redheart would receive the letter he had sent off that morning on his way to work, before it eventually settled on his plans for that night, wondering if his special guests would be on time. After what felt like hours to the bored doctor, but was really only thirty minutes, Nurse Temperament finally entered the room, a faint blush visible on her cheeks, not that he noticed. "We're ready, Doctor," she said, gesturing him to follow. Absentmindedly tossing the report onto his desk, the doctor rose and followed his assistant down the hall to the briefing room. Along the way, they passed by a number of other nurses hurrying about, carrying messages or running for supplies, among other things. Each wore a standard nurse's cap, but beyond that there was no uniform. After a couple minutes of walking, they arrived at the very familiar briefing room. The charts had been set up in advance, so Nurse Temperament began the briefing as soon as Doctor Styles was seated. "Since Doctor Stables is out of town," she began, "I'll be briefing you on today's operation." You'd be briefing me even if he was here, Doctor Styles rolled his eyes, nodding for her to continue. "Our next patient is Ditzy Doo, a thirty year old Pegasus mare who came in a couple of months ago experiencing abdominal pain. Tests revealed a cluster of small tumors in her lower intestines, and subsequent checks have shown them growing larger. After consulting with her regular physician, it was decided to remove them as soon as possible, before they start causing further problems. We'll be using the Powell Procedure for this operation-" Waving a hoof, Doctor Styles cut Nurse Temperament off. "I know the procedure; I've done this plenty of times." Surprised at the interruption, Nurse Temperament was silent as he stood from the table and headed for the door. "Come on, let's go get started." Caught off-guard, Nurse Temperament finally regained her wits when the door closed behind the departing doctor. "W-wait!" She stammered out. "Doctor Styles!" With that, she rushed out the door after him, leaving the briefing room empty save for a number of charts and the patient's records, all of which he had ignored. The patient, a blonde-maned, grey Pegasus mare, laid unconscious on her left side on the operating table. A patch of her coat had been shaved away from her lower right abdomen, and an incision guideline had been traced right through the middle of the patch of bare skin. Doctor Styles stood by the operating table as Nurse Temperament entered the room, waiting for his assistant to arrive so they could begin. Seeing the doctor already set up to start, Nurse Temperament muffled an annoyed groan and gave up on her hopes of dragging him back to the briefing room. Reluctantly, she grabbed her cart and moved to his side. Well, she reasoned with herself as she prepared herself for the operation, even if he didn't read the file all the way through, at least I did. As long as I'm watching out for any indication of trouble, I can stop him from screwing this up too badly. She nodded to herself, confident in her plan. Once Nurse Temperament was ready, Direct turned back to the patient on the table. "Starting the operation," he said simply as she passed him the Antibiotic Gel, which he used to sanitize the area around the incision guideline. He then traded the vial of Gel for a scalpel and made the opening incision. "Oh my!" Nurse Temperament exclaimed, raising a hoof to cover her gasp as she got her first look at the swollen intestines. "The entire intestinal membrane is inflamed!" But the tests indicated that only the lower membrane was inflamed... What happened!? Calmly, Direct glanced over the heavily inflamed organ. "This isn't that unusual of a symptom," he shrugged. "Pass me the anti-inflammatory and I'll take care of it." Nurse Temperament hoofed over a shiny syringe and a vial of anti-inflammatory medicine. Direct filled the syringe with the medicine, and injected it into one of the most heavily inflamed areas. Immediately, the swelling went down. "It's working," Nurse Temperament confirmed. "Proceed as normal, I guess..." Even with that problem overcome, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Maybe it's just what Civil said earlier that's getting to me, she reasoned. Once the worst of the inflammation was gone, the pair moved to searching for the tumors. Doctor Styles used his Ultrasound spell to search the entire length of the intestines, opening the tumors up with a scalpel as he found them. Before long, he had half a dozen tumors leaking cytoplasm onto the surface of the organ. "That seems to be all of them," he noted. "Let's start draining the cytoplasm so I can remove these things already." Nurse Temperament passed Direct the drain, carefully watching as he worked. He really has gotten better, she had to admit. His attitude, on the other hoof... She couldn't help but wonder about the sudden change that had overtaken the rookie doctor over the past few weeks as the operation continued, absentmindedly giving him tools as he requested them. One successful operation that I didn’t guide him through and suddenly he thinks he doesn’t even need my help! Nurse Temperament found herself staring at the relaxed, almost bored expression on the doctor's face as he excised another tumor. It's like he isn't taking this - or me - seriously anymore! "Looks like we're done here." Direct's simple declaration shook Nurse Temperament out of her reverie, causing her to realize that she had only barely been paying attention. Stupid, stupid... After all the times you've gotten mad at him for not paying attention... she mentally berated herself as she looked over the patient's now-tumorless intestines and checked the medical instruments around the room. "Don't celebrate just yet, Doctor," she spoke up, watching as a yellow number slowly ticked down on a screen in front of her. 35. 34. 33. "her vitals still haven't stabilized yet." Not even looking at his assistant, Direct waved her comment off. "Vitals don't usually stabilize right away, especially not after an operation like this." Turning towards her and seeing the genuine worry on her face, he rolled his eyes. "But if you insist…” The doctor sighed in defeat. Clearly, he would not be done as quickly as he had hoped. “What do you suggest we do, Nurse Temperament?" Biting her lip in concern, the pink nurse returned to the table. "Well," she faltered, a little unsure, "first of all, we should inject some Stabilizer to help bring her vitals back up." And here I thought I was going to get to take a nap before dinner... Direct had to stop himself from sighing. But she is right, some inner part of him whispered. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Direct grabbed a syringe with his magic, filling it with the green Stabilizer fluid. Nurse Temperament kept an eye on the monitor as he injected the serum, watching the yellow number rise from the mid twenties up to almost forty. Another injection brought the number above fifty, at which point it turned from yellow to green. "That should be enough," she nodded, watching the number for a moment longer. It was still ticking down, but at a much slower rate. "Let's scan the area once more though, just to be safe." Wordlessly, Direct began the Ultrasound spell. Nurse Temperament watched as he slowly scanned the entire intestinal membrane, showing absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. There's nothing here... she thought. So why do I have this feeling that we're forgetting something? "Nothing here," Doctor Styles stated as he finished searching the area. "Anything else you wanted to check?" Nurse Temperament cast her mind back to the notes from the patient's tests that had been included in the file, but couldn't remember anything specific. If only I'd remembered to bring the file with me... she thought with a frustrated snort. "No, I guess not..." "Great. Pass me the sutures and let's wrap this up; I've got a dinner reservation to make." Direct Styles absentmindedly tapped his hoof on the table as he waited. He was dressed in a black tux and seated at a small table-for-three in the Gilded Lily, the fanciest restaurant in Ponyville. He had arrived just in time for his reservation, only to find that his guests had not yet arrived. At first, he had patiently awaited their arrival, assuming that some uncontrollable factor had prevented them from showing up on time. As the minutes ticked by, however, he was slowly losing hope. His gaze flicked from the two empty chairs in front of him, to the front door of the restaurant, to the clock on the wall, and back again. An hour. They were a whole hour late, and still no sign of them. A waitress stopped by to refill his glass of water, discreetly passing him a look of pity. She had seen far too many young mares and stallions sit alone at a table for hours, blindly hoping that the next pony to walk through the front door would be their date. Direct, however, wasn't waiting for a date. No, instead, he was waiting for his parents, whom he had invited to come see where he was now, and what he had done with the life they had told him would never work out. Despite the almost hostile terms on which he'd left them, he was trying to offer them a proverbial olive branch. Trying to, perhaps, even get back on good terms with the ponies who had given him life. And they turned their noses up at it, he thought with a sudden venom that surprised even him, just like the Canterlot snobs they are. While the pure hate that he felt in his own thoughts startled him, it at the same time felt so right. They'd never even bothered to reply to his invitation, he reminded himself. They'd probably thrown it away without reading it. He'd set aside every single bit he could spare for a month to afford this reservation, and they'd blown him off! His own parents! His anger vanished in an instant, replaced with despair as he hung his head. Flashes of the last time he had been in his parents' home came back to him as he sat alone. Direct stood before his father, a blue Unicorn with a red mane, and his mother, a white Unicorn with a green mane. Both wore fancy Canterlot clothing and gazed at him in a mixture of shock and disgust as he told them his plans. "Medical School!?" His father shouted halfway through Direct's speech, looking absolutely livid. "You want to go to Medical School!?" Nervous, but determined, Direct nodded. "Yes. I don't know what my Cutie Mark means," he indicated the ambiguous pentagram on his flank, "but I know that I got it while helping other ponies, and what better way to help ponies than to be a doctor, right?" His father's face was turning as red as his mane. He looked like he was about to explode, but his mother intervened by putting a hoof over her husband’s chest. Ever the graceful one, though still somewhat angry, she simply whispered, "Are you sure this is what you want, Direct?" Almost as quietly, Direct replied. "Yes, Mom. I'm sure." He knew that neither of his parents had a high opinion of doctors, though he himself had no idea why, and he was relieved at how seemingly well his mother was taking the news- "Then you are no son of mine." The statement came so quietly, so gently, that Direct was still processing exactly what had been said when his mother – no, not his mother anymore, just Directed Shots – closed her eyes in finality. Direct couldn’t find any words to say, simply gaping at Directed Shots as she silently exited the room. She didn’t look back even once. A silent moment passed before his father – not his father anymore either, just Modern Styles – followed his wife's example and left the room, pausing only to tell the disowned Direct that he had two hours to be out of the house for good. Sitting there, Direct reflected on what had just happened, his gaze trailing to the floor. In an instant, he had lost both his mother and father, simply because he wanted to be a doctor. In one fell swoop, he was disowned and left to fend for himself, with no one to truly guide him. For the first time in his life, he was completely alone. And he didn’t like it one bit. Of course, the tears that were leaking from his eyes didn’t help the situation. The waitress was back, nudging him on the shoulder and telling him that he had to leave, that it was closing time, and that she was very sorry that his guests had not arrived. The tears in his eyes belied his stoic expression as he rose and walked out the door. He didn't really pay attention to where he was going, he just let his hooves carry him back to his apartment as his mind roamed. Again and again, his mother's parting statement rang through his head. You are no son of mine, her gentle voice told him over and over again as he wandered the dark streets of Ponyville. That memory would forever haunt him. It was the moment when his parents' love was severed, and he was thrown out like mere trash. Perhaps, he'd occasionally wondered to himself when visions of his past kept him awake at night, they never loved me in the first place. Maybe I was simply imagining that they cared about me, and I was really just an annoyance to them. He didn’t know which was worse: having all of the love he’d had suddenly torn away, or knowing that all of that love had always been false. Eventually, he found himself approaching his apartment. Standing in front of it, head whipping about in apparent desperation, was a mare that he recognized from the hospital. Doctor... Duty, he was pretty sure. Upon spotting Direct, the blue-maned, yellow Unicorn ran up to him, panting. "Doctor Styles!" she exclaimed far too loud for the time of night that it was. "I've been looking all over for you! Come on, you're needed back at the hospital!" Without any further explanation, she began dragging him along as she ran back to Ponyville Medical. Nurse Temperament was waiting for them when they arrived at the hospital. Her voice was stern as she explained the situation to Direct. Mrs. Doo, his patient from earlier that day, was currently in the O.R. for emergency surgery. About an hour ago, she had undergone sudden cardiac arrest when a large tumor metastasized on her heart. A quick test revealed a cluster of tumors behind her lungs, which it was later confirmed had in fact been noted in the operation file from earlier that day. At the moment, the night shift doctors were hard at work fixing his mistake. Direct stared silently at the ground as his assistant explained, all of his confidence from earlier that day gone. If his flashback at the restaurant earlier had shaken him, this news completely broke him. Between his overconfidence and his hurry to be done with the operation, he had nearly allowed his patient to die. An innocent mare had nearly died due to his carelessness! He had failed in one of the most basic duties of his position. Just like he said I would... Two hours later, Direct Styles trotted down the front hall of what had been his home. He held his head high despite the tears still leaking from his reddened eyes, willing himself not to break down. A single suitcase, held in his magic, contained all of his belongings that he would be bringing with him into his new life. As he passed by the living room on his way to the front door, Modern Styles called out from his high-backed chair in front of the fireplace. "You'll find nothing but failure out that door," he stated, not once looking up from the paper he was reading. The sentence made Direct freeze for a moment, and for the first time in his life, he felt, rather than sorrow, loathing towards his father. What did he know? He was kicking Direct out over some stupid, unexplained prejudice, and yet he had the gall to speak as though he already knew what would happen down the line! Refusing to acknowledge either Modern's words or the anger bubbling up within him, Direct briskly made for the exit. He was determined now more than ever to make his own life, and to prove that he didn't need his former parents' approval. With a heavy scowl, Direct shoved open the front door and left his old home. Nothing but failure, the words haunted him still. That's all I am, Direct thought as he sat alone on his bed in his small apartment, staring at the floor. Failed as a son, failed as a doctor; I’m just a failure.