Mr. Disc

by CrackedInkWell


4: Me, Myself...

After riding the Christmas decorations express throughout the morning with more guards surrounding me, we’ve made a stop in a place appropriately called Ponyville. A town wherein the architecture resembles that of English cottages in a disgustingly happy rolling valley, the residents here are even more ponies as far as these eyes could see.

Once again, there’s the same pattern here as it was at that crystal place, all of these ponies are trying their best to keep their distance away from me. And I mean everyone. I saw one pony that took one look at me and dove right into a trashcan. A pegasus changed course at the sight of me. And there was even a unicorn that disappeared completely! Even the animals seem to run for the hills when I came along. Honestly, hallucination or no, I couldn’t see why everything here is afraid of me.

Our walk ended at a place just outside of town, were everywhere there’s birdhouses, dens, and a house that’s somehow carved out of a tree. (How is that thing still alive when it’s hollowed out?) The guard with the scroll knocked on the door of this literal treehouse, where the door cracked open.

“Y-Yes?”

“Ms. Fluttershy?” The guard asked. The door opened up a little more. I had to shake my head and even blink a few times at what I was seeing. There was no other way about it, my student! Fluttershy. She had the right voice, the right hairstyle, the quiet and shy demeanor. Even the yellow coat of hers reminded me of the yellow clothes that the Fluttershy that I knew usually wore.

“Discord? What are you doing here? Are you in trouble again?”

“Uhh...” Was my sophisticated response.

“Princess Celestia told me that you should read this first.” The guard gave the little pegasus version of my student the scroll he’s been carrying around. She took it in her hooves and read it. Her eyes widened as she read its contents.

“Is this true?” she asked and the guard nodded.

She looked up at me, “You poor thing.” She said, “Why don’t you come inside.”

Now I was curious. After bending my long body through the munchkin doorway, I got a look at my alternative Fluttershy’s home. Inside the house had too many animals, more than I could count. (It makes me wonder if the Fluttershy I know is a hoarder of animals. But on the other hand, this Fluttershy has a supernatural way of taking care of many at a time.)

She sat me down at a table and with her mouth pulled in two more chairs. This followed closely with the tea set. “Who’s the other chair for?” I asked her.

“Oh… Well-” Before she could say anything else, there was a flash coming from the door. We both turned to it and for the second time, my brain stopped working. With its’ back against us and knocking on the door from the inside…

….Was me. It was like I was looking at a living copy of me, waiting for someone to answer the door.

“Um, Discord, turn around.” The pony venison of Fluttershy said.

“Opus, sorry about that,” the other me said. “Just as promised, I’ve brought the sandwi…” He turned around to face us, holding a tray of neatly placed sandwiches; he had the same frozen expression that I had. “Um, Flutters, who is this?” the other me asked.

You know the phrase: “This takes the cake?” Forget that! This takes the whole flippin’ bakery! Seriously, I’ve seen some pretty odd things in my day, but never in my wildest of delusions have I ever had an encounter… with myself.

“Um, Discord.” Fluttershy said, “Do you remember the world that Twilight went to get her element back? He’s, well – you, from that world.”

I got up from my seat and walked over to the other me. We looked at each other as if we’re staring at our own reflections. Though I confess, part of me doesn’t want to believe that this… thing was really me.

So I decided to test a few things out.

“’Twas brilling, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe: all misy were the borogroves, and the mome raths out…grabe.” We both said exactly the same time in the exact same tone in the exact same Scottish accent.

Okay… how about something even more random. With my claw hand, I pointed at him, and he did the same. Alright, there’s no way he’s gonna say “I know what you’re thinking: ‘Did he fire six shots or only five?’”

“Well, to tell you the truth, in all of this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself.”

“But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world,”

“And would blow your head clean off,”

Then in unison, “You’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, punk?”

Okay, creepy. But I’d bet that not even he can predict this…

Then we both started to sing and dance the exact same thing: “Hello ma baby! Hello ma honey! Hello ma ragtime gal! Send me a kiss by wire. Baby ma heart’s on fire! If you refuse me, honey you’ll lose me, then you’ll be left alone, oh, baby, telephone, and tell me I’m your own!” How did that happen?! There was music and everything! We even had that stupid hat and… I looked at the umbrella I was holding and immediately dropped it in shock.

“GAH!”

“Awe, I was beginning to enjoy this.” He whined in disappointment, huh, he even sounds like me. “Besides, what’s wrong with you? It’s not like you haven’t used any chaotic magic before.”

“Well, that’s because I’m not exactly used to this. Except when I have my hallucinations.”

My living reflection raised an eyebrow. “You too? So I’m not the only one around here who sometimes sees Fluttershy as a ferret?”

“What was that?” Fluttershy asked.

“Nothing,” we both said.

The other me turned to face me, “So you’re me from that one universe that Ms. Uptight went to.”

“Ms. Uptight?”

“Twilight,” the other me deadpanned. “You know, mostly purple, has a crush with the male equivalent of Mary Sue, saved a school twice.”

“Oh, that weird student that my boss told me about, she said that she broke out to a weird dance during a dance once.”

“Yep, that’s her. So what do you do?”

“I’m an art teacher, what do you do?”

“Ex-Lord of Chaos, errand boy for her highnesses and friend to Fluttershy.”

“That sounds like a handful.”

He sighed, “You have no idea.”

“Um, excuse me.” Fluttershy got our attention, “I was wondering if you still want some tea.”

“Having tea with myself.” The other me muttered, putting his lion paw over his chin. “Eh, why not. With another me around, this ought to be interesting.”