//------------------------------// // Shave Rave (Edited: 9-24-2015) // Story: A Boy and his Box // by Jake Witt //------------------------------// Me and Discord- yes, Discord- successfully transitioned from the Chrystal Empire to the Everfree Forest through a worm hole. I'm thinking of what punishment is upon me for leaving Ponyville and the prank we pulled, as we exit I step on something that squeaks (or 'poots') to find a Blue's clue. I'm not looking for Blue's Clues... If you had a childhood that hasn't been ruined by Joe yet, lucky you I barely made it out 'alive'. But still, as stated, Steve and Joe are looking for blue paws, but I'm not. In this moment I dare not to move, the symbol bringing a different meaning to me. So what if I can't permanently die? Pain is still pain. Pain from death sucks the most when its long, merciless one! SCRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRESCHTCHRRRRRRRRRR "OK, fun fact: I can probably die and fear death itself despite being a 'Lord of Chaos'... but this guy, I can overpower him if he was a little more predictable," Discord whispered, "I recognize that tail anywhe-" BWA BWA CHU CHU CHU BZZZZZZZK!!! Dubstep and train noises start playing and a heavy fog blocks my two important sences: sight and hearing. Obviously Discord knows this guy and I don't, so if the lord of pranks and murder is uneasy, obviously so would I. My emerald chestplate and diamond armor is put into place and my twin emerald swords, flame axe, and push away 'budder' sword is ready with flame bow incase I can spawn arrows. I take a swig from a night potion with the affect of seeing the fog in the dark. "Well, that's-" I was cut off by a tiger paw that pushed me to the ground as something resembling an armor plated tail with an electric saw blade swipes for me from the fog, and three neon glow rings hanging near the blade. WHAT. The rest of the paw that saved me revealed a Backpack Discord with ear plugs. He inserts the buds in my left ear and attaches himself to my back. "Testing... testing... 1 and 2! Can you hear me? Nod if you can, this is a bit one-sided," informed Discord from the plugs. I gave a hasty nod in response as he comments, "The cleverness! Razzer would never cause a rave battlefield! To be honest, this 'dubstep' sounds like garbage everytime a 'dropped bass' happens..." I tilted my head, Discord replying, "What? I prefer Polka." Wait, I think Earth has this "dubstep"! My thought was interrupted by pull on my arms blocking and a very sloppy counter. "Kid, pay attention!" Discord scolded. I wave my hand over my face, attempting to tell him, "Seriously? I cannot see!" "Oh, well its not my fault," he replied followed by a grunt. He then giggled as something soft tickles my nose and my focus brings me to a blue feather, "Bonappatité!" What is he-? Oh! Ew. I hope he has ketchup or something! I bit down on the feather and tried to eat it. I choked on it before Discord managed to save me, liquefying the feather. I hope there's a MOD or more Box has to be hiding, so I can avoid this. Well, no mech suit. So if corndogs turned me into Flash, I wonder if a certain pony can turn me into Discord. Celestia- nope. Luna- nope. Fluttershy- SERIOUSLY?! THEY'RE BFFs THIS SHOULD WORK! Discord... wait... My body turns black and shifts, becoming Discord with a Discord backpack still on me. Not fair, but then again I became Rarity the same way... But, a pony eating a corndog? I can't see it happening... Hey I can see lights! I can see and feel every current argument, mess, and just chaos in general in the area! I can even see neon rings floating in mid-air! The rings lunge at me as I dodged the limb it was on, appearing in a tree after dodging. "How did you know there was a tree there? Or tell me later," real Discord said. "In fact, never mind." Discord removed himself giving my wings their space, "I'll be back." I bring my swords back to my- I put on some leather gloves to fix reader confusion. From the tree I belly flopped to the ground and did the worm towards the neon rings, while holding my swords. For some reason, I know how to use my chaos. Wearing them is a... best way to describe this is if Micheal Bay's Shredder had a baby with Wolverine (or Predator. Take your pick.) as an armored centaur with a lizard head. Give me credit for trying to describe a metal beast in a fog with night vision Discord eyes! "Senpai" notices me and tries to stomp on- WHERE ON THIS GUYS BODY CANT YOU FIND SPIKES OR KNIVES?! I dodge my impalement with determination to not be caught dead looking like my immortal enemy! He attempts to stomp me again while saw me in two with his tail. I teleported a small distance, his vertical body leans over in a pouncing stance as his tail curves over like a scorpion. He lunges for me only to stop in place as Coyboy 'Cord has Razzer's hind legs tied together with a rope with the other end tied to a tree. He cuts the rope and chops the tree in pieces onto the draconequis, fast sharp and strong. Razzer circles me as the music's volume lowered. "I saw you morph. I'll go easy on you-" Razzer spoke in a voice that sounded as if he was Alfa from UP. He was cut off by a pair of laughs, one muffled under a tree and one at his face. He grunted, "Stop that or else I will rain hell down on your village and swallow your intestines-" silence between two Discords, "- like ramen! You will wish I ripped your hearts out and made you drink sulfur!" "Which one?" I asked, pointing at my actual heart as I began to shift to normal then my health. "What?" he asked, not catching on. "Real or digital? Screw it, I died so many times I don't think I've ever seen my own beating heart! Except for that one time I roasted a dead me, buuut that's another thing." I said in my usual form. My swords still in leather gloves, WOW! I should wear gloves more often. "A rather disturbing thing. In fact, don't imagine me cooking myself over a fire." "Wait what?" Razzer asked with wide eyes. "I AM IMMORTAL! Is a hint really needed? I accidentally brought my last head!" I shouted, showing of my scared stone face, "My death by cockatrice is true art... Except when I mess up or the burning feeling in my lungs from lack of O2 comes up." He backs up a bit, rising to his usual height. Shaking his head, he dashes for me as I roll under him, slashing his underbelly with no lasting wound on him. I search my spawn menu in the silhouette section to grab a circle for SOMETHING METAL PIERCING. Instead I find Captain America's shield and Thor's hammer... Mjoir? I digress. It attaches itself to the ground before I switch it for the shield. I block the sudden rush attack and claws from my foe, finding my diamond hoe and pair it with the shield as I hook onto the claw and swing myself over him dropping "the power of Thor" onto his back. The hammer pins down Razzer as Discord finally frees himself from the tree. "Nice of you to join-" *SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* I was cut off as Razzer lets out a ear-piercing screech followed by Discord gaging him with chainmail sock and tying his arms together. Razzer's tail was typed to his torso, out of reach. After searching my surroundings... nothing, I spoke up, "That was too lucky..." "I'm guessing you're a livid dreamer?" Luna asked. Leaving the three of us more stunned than angry and disappointed. "LUNA?!" Discord exclaimed, he paused and focused as a hot draconeuis Luna in a bikini formed and vanished. "...Or not. I am here to remind you three of who put you to sleep. Long story short, Razzer actually killed you two 38 times and went mad from your respawnings, Box retrieved your items, and the Discord here forgot that he came back for you... so um..." "I can't die?!" Discord asked adding to the suspense in the silence as we waited for his face to catch up with his voice. "Discord, you unleashed an unstoppable cloud of chaos in your sleep. Its been looming over Ponyville for weeks and... well..." "Why is it unstoppable?" I asked as Luna turned, thinking a reply. "Its a cloud! Pegasus magic the crap out of it!" "Nopony can get close enough to disable it nor can anybody stop it from inside its anti-magic field. Its a form of chaos that baffles me. A 'rustling of my jimmies', if you will..." she paused, "Ms. Pie's phrase." "GET ON WITH IT! I can't handle not knowing my own chaos!" Discord said on a couch with Razzer laying down next to him with more bindings, the hammer on his side, and a vase over his tail saw. He got off the couch, showing the French girl painting he made of the beast. "Nice shoulder spikes." "Box dubbed it as 'Lyra's Dream' and 'Anthro Smoke' on separate occasions... um... If that counts as hint or not... You might want to brace thineself..." she said as she vanished. "So does this mean I can't spawn Cap's shield or roll?" I asked the absent Luna. (About 4 or 5 Weeks Ago) I finally found it! As I closed the door to the Carousel Boutique, I returned to my pony form still wearing the jeans I made. With designs and documents in my saddle bag with All Giver strapped to one bag. Wool and dyes filled my inventory, so if I was to do this, I'd better grab the expert. A moment a sound of clattering and two screams were heard, no doubt my entrance brought a little Lyra Dream into the building. A little filly ran down nearby screaming "SPIDER!" while as a human-pony hybrid turned pure pony in an instant screamed "WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?! " both stopping at each other. Their screaming ended as I cleared my voice. "DON'T LOOK AT ME!" Rarity shouts then realized she had a hoof in front of her, "...um...Bad hair?" She added with a blush. "Sounds more than that. From what I saw, regrettably, was that you experienced a taste of the chaos outside. I need a tall favor and its been forever since I said this: Diamonds, emeralds, as well as gold are no objects." Box said summoning the items and placing them in front of him, "This so far is Ponyville big. If this thing grows or moves more, labor could be needed putting you out of business and into a fashion empire. Or even those in Canterlot... I can NOT do THIS alone." "But what can I do against this threat?" Rarity asked, Box removed his saddle bags in the modeling room as the three entered. "Wait! You may want to stop here." He tossed some rainbow jumpsuits at them then followed by, "Its probably gone, but just in case wear these." We sat in the center as only I transformed, shocking the two, "Interesting... Keeps the cloud out and IN. Anyway, I'm an expert on this species. In fact, he has a job defending Ponyville... and sucks. Even giving him a little bit of my power isn't- Back on track, we have to hurry, not only will this prevent mental scars and awkward moments, it can prevent exposure to this cloud. So far its a cloud... diseases are clouds too." "Get to the point, dear," Rarity chided the slightly nervous Box. He looked between the two ponies as they looked at each other for a moment before continuing, "This is a good- no, GREAT opportunity to make dresses and casual wear for these semiponies. I can fund AND support in the labor and fabric department. You provide the style, since not everything is 'function over form'." The doors fling open as toga crusaders entered the boutique, letting more cloud in. "Mr. Box, we might 'ave a problem!" Applebloom shouted. "What is it?!" Box asked. Scootaloo's wings buzzed as she spoke, "Spider! Literal giant spider just destroyed a few homes a part of town hall!!" "Well, I wonder if Equestria will get a Spider Man out of this? Anyway, I will try to stop it!" Box declared. He replaced what he wore with a suit in rapid succession so fast nopony realized the change. Box also emptied his inventory and grabbed All Giver, "Try is what I will do!"