Fluttershy stared nervously up at the terrifyingly vast form of Stellactus. "I can't do this," she whispered to herself. "I can't..."
She thought of all her friends. She thought of all the animals. She thought of the princesses, of Sunset Shimmer, and even of Discord.
The world was counting on her.
Even if she wasn't a real princess...
The fate of Equestria was in her hooves.
She whimpered.
A whisper of sound in the distance became a roar...
An enormous spaceship roared out of the fields outside Ponyville. Fluttershy squeaked in fright and ducked low. The ship's canopy opened and two mares leapt out to stand atop it. One was a mint-green unicorn wearing a white bikini, with white boots on three hooves. The other was a cream earth pony with a two-tone mane, wearing a matching yellow bikini, also with boots on three hooves. The unicorn wore a white headband, holding her red-dyed bangs out of her eyes.
Each mare had an enormous cannon strapped to her back.
"Are you ready?" the unicorn asked.
"Let's do this!"
Both mares fired big, loud rockets at Stellactus. Their ship began firing twin plasma cannons. Explosions rippled across the immense stallion's hide.
"Keep 'em hot!"
"Don't gotta tell me!"
For seven straight minutes, the two mares unleashed an impressive and terrifying array of weapons of mass destruction at Stellactus. Fluttershy hovered below, watching with wide, terrified eyes.
They finally ran out of ammunition. Their ship's plasma cannons fell silent.
Stellactus raised an eyebrow. Seriously?
A lance of starlight bisected their ship, which exploded in a massive fireball. Fluttershy, screaming in terror, scrambled to catch the two falling mares as they jumped clear of the ship just before they could meet a fiery demise.
"Dammit, we just finished paying for that!"
Fluttershy conjured a pair of parachutes, which she attached to the two mares. As they drifted down to the ground, she flew up to face Stellactus, hooves on her hips.
Above, the moon showed the time as 11:53.
"What makes you think you can just go around bullying weak, helpless ponies?" Fluttershy demanded.
I do not seek to bully the weak, nor do I care for their plight, Stellactus said. I am driven by my hunger. My hunger is all. I must feed to survive. Nothing else concerns me.
"But why do you want to eat OUR world?" Fluttershy asked. "We didn't do anything to you!"
This world is rich in the energy of life. It will sustain me for decades.
"But...but we're all using it! We love our world very much, and we really don't want to die!" Fluttershy threw her hooves up. "There are so many creatures living here! Ponies, griffons, cows, donkeys, mules, zebras, giraffes, sheep, goats, minotaurs, Changelings, buffalo, deer, bunnies, beavers, mice, pigs, owls, phoenixes, chickens, parakeets, budgies, finches, sparrows, hummingbirds, mockingbirds, blue jays, red jays, yellow jays, canaries, doves, pigeons, eagles, hawks, falcons, buzzards, ducks, swans, geese, moose, chupacabras, Breezies, ants, bats, cats, rats, shoats, snakes, skunks, hedgehogs, anteaters, armadillos, opossums, dogs, frogs, hydras, dragons, lions, tigers, bears, otters, bees, butterflies, fish, dolphins, seaponies, seals, starfish, turtles, tortoises, alligators, crocodiles, timberwolves, cragodiles, sea serpents, river serpents, lake serpents, manticores, spiders, crickets, moles, voles, trolls, diamond dogs, walruses, chipmunks, squirrels, ferrets, foxes, platypuses, koalas, kangaroos, wallabies, monkeys, apes, chinchillas—"
ENOUGH! Stellactus massaged his temples. I get it. Lots of things live on this world. And I truly regret the necessity of their demise. But my hunger is absolute, and—
"I WAS TALKING! INTERRUPTING OTHERS IS VERY RUDE!" Fluttershy bellowed in the Royal Canterlot Voice.
...Sorry.
"Thank you," Fluttershy continued meekly. "Now, I understand that you're hungry, and I truly am sorry, and I'm sure if you just keep looking, you'll find a world nearby that's just as tasty as this one, and isn't as full of things that'll die a horrible, agonizing death in your tummy. But I'm afraid we're using this world, and we're going to be using it for a very long time, and it simply isn't acceptable for you to eat our world, so if you'd please just go away..."
The clock struck midnight. Wispy clouds passed across the face of the moon.
Everypony stopped in their tracks.
Stellactus vanished in a blink.
Ponyville returned to normal, every trace of the damage wrought throughout the night disappearing as if none of the night's craziness had ever happened.
Fluttershy blinked. "Oh...oh my..."
Her fake alicorn horn fell off, dropping to the ground below.
With a sigh of relief, she glided down to the ground.
* * * * *
Pinkie reached up and pulled off her Ink Blot mask, shaking out her poofy mane. "Whoa," she said. "That was the craziest Nightmare Night ever!"
"A touch too strange for me, I fear," Zecora said, removing her sunglasses. "With Discord involved, I should have steered clear."
Pinkie tilted her head. "You were kinda really off your rocker there for a little while," she said.
"If I were you, I'd take that back. The pot should never call the kettle black."
"But you are black! And white."
Zecora sighed.
* * * * *
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked around in confusion. "Were we...just running away from something?"
"Ah think we were runnin' from Sweetie Belle," Apple Bloom said.
Scootaloo's brow furrowed. "Hey, you're right!" She looked at herself. "Oh man! We just spent the whole night chasing her around shooting at her, didn't we?"
"We gotta find her an' make up!" Apple Bloom frowned. "Ah hope she ain't still...y'know..."
As they neared Carousel Boutique, their eyes bugged out at a bizarre sight: The town's one and only mule, body painted entirely lemon yellow, was limping away from the boutique with a ponnequin stuffed head-first up his ass. His eyes were bugged out and watering.
"THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO EAT FILLIES!" Sweetie Belle screeched after him.
"Uhh...maybe apologize to Sweetie Belle later?" Apple Bloom suggested.
"Yeah," Scootaloo agreed, eyes wide. "Come on, let's see if we can find some candy."
* * * * *
Mayor Mare stared around at the herd of costumed ponies in the center of Ponyville, all of whom were standing in place or staggering around in a sort of stunned, disbelieving silence.
With all that had happened over the course of Nightmare Night, it was little wonder.
Removing her luchador mask, she sighed tiredly and facehoofed. "Chingada madre."
* * * * *
"Gah! My hair, must fix my hair..." Brushes and hairspray floated out of the pouches on Rarity's costume as she set about the task of restoring her mane and tail to their proper state. "Oh, I just know I am simply ghastly-looking and filthy from all this nonsense..."
Rainbow Dash shook her head and ruffled her wings. "Now I understand why they stopped publishing Silver Soarer," she said. "Did I do anything but suck tonight?"
"Well, you did..." Rarity frowned. "No, there was..." She trailed off, tilting her head. "...no, not really," she admitted.
Rainbow sighed. "I shoulda gone as Daring Do..."
* * * * *
"So uhh..." Lyra said as she extricated herself from her parachute, "That happened."
"Yes, yes it did," Bon Bon said as she kicked her parachute away. "Where did we even get that spaceship from?"
"I have no idea, but at least we didn't manage to blow up Equestria..."
They looked at one another for a long moment.
"Wanna get drunk?"
"Only until I throw up."
* * * * *
Vinyl set Octavia down sheepishly. They had been half a second from a passionate kiss when midnight had struck. "Uhh..."
Octavia flushed. "This never happened," she said.
"Oh, get over yourself," Vinyl said. She grinned. "That was kinda fun."
Octavia wrinkled her brow. "Getting punched in the face and attacked by zombies is not my idea of fun," she said, tossing her mane and sniffing disdainfully.
"You don't come to nearly enough of my parties," Vinyl replied with a chuckle.
* * * * *
Applejack looked around at the dark, twisted trees of the Everfree Forest.
Her ears wilted. "Oh, Big Mac is gonna kill me if he finds out what just happened..."
She let out an impressive fart, spraying glittering sparkles of magic from her rear end which lit up her surroundings.
Her eyes shrank to pinpricks. "Whuh-oh."
* * * * *
Button Mash looked around at the walls of the spooky old castle, his amber eyes blinking owlishly.
He thought back over the last several hours.
He'd fought hordes of zombies, defeated wave after wave of flying Medusa heads, and even survived the dreaded Hall of Hooves. He hadn't quite made it to the Pony of Shadows, but...
He looked down at the chain whip which lay at his hooves. He grinned. "Best. Nightmare Night. Ever."
Several starspiders skittered across the floor. "Waaah! MOOOOOOOOOM!"
* * * * *
Derpy stirred, her crooked eyes spinning as she sat up. Beside her, the two rulers of Equestria sat up groggily. Celestia's mane and tail, still dyed green, began to ripple in a nonexistent wind. Luna stripped off her hat and mask, setting her own billowing mane free.
"Well," Celestia said awkwardly, "that was...truly an unusual night."
"You know, sister," Luna mused, "I do believe Discord was less bothersome when he was evil..."
* * * * *
Twilight looked down at the head of Flash Sentry, which was once again just a really disturbing plushie. She looked at the magical chainsaw, which had turned back into a silly plastic toy. She looked around at the array of ponies in their Nightmare Night costumes, all blinking stupidly at one another.
Her horn flared. In a bright magenta flash, Discord appeared.
The entire crowd stared at him.
Twilight turned him to face her. Her eyes were narrowed, and she was frowning.
"Discord," she asked in a flat, weary tone, "what the dick?"