//------------------------------// // It's Such An Awful, Awful Color // Story: Yaerfaerda // by Imploding Colon //------------------------------// "For what it's worth, I think you look marvelous," Arcanista said. "Mrmmmfff..." Rainbow Dash exhaled heavily out her nostrils. She turned from the mirror, fidgeting in a simple brown dress that hung loosely off her lithe figure. "I feel like I'm going to drown in this thing." "It couldn't be helped," Arcanista said, trotting across the parlor. "You're a rather small pony." "So everyone keeps telling me." Rainbow's eyes rolled back as she pawed at a green green mane that was pinned up in an unassuming bun. "So... like... does it at least look awesome?" "It looks fitting for the task you now have at hoof," Arcanista said with a slight smile. "So, in other words, it's super crazy lame." Arcanista chuckled slightly. "Those are your words, not mine." "Ughh..." Rainbow sighed. She tried sitting down, but the brown skirt bunched up too much. Unable to fly either due to her pinned-down wings, she leaned against the mirror and shuddered. "You know, way back in the day, ponies used to compliment me on how nifty it was to have a mane with so much color. Of course, I paid them no mind, 'cuz having a spiffy hairstyle just wasn't my thing. But now? With all of the colors gone and replaced with green?" "Lemme guess. You miss the way that it was." "And I never thought it'd get to me, either," Rainbow muttered. A sigh. "So, it's gonna stay like this for good, huh?" Arcanista shrugged. "It's only a dye, Miss Dash. A rinse or two with water and you should be back to normal." "For real?" Rainbow blinked. "You think?" "Indeed," Arcanista uttered with a nod. "Which means that we had better not run into any errant rain storms along the way." "Do I have to stay inside the coach the whole way?" "In order to portray a convincing servant to the House of Sehlp, you'll have to hide just about everything about yourself," she said. "Including your wings." "Er... yeah..." "Is that going to be a problem?" "Well, I... I-I just don't think I've ever been on my hooves for as long as we're planning me to be." Rainbow blinked. "Unless you count the time that I had one of my wings horribly injured and Roarke had to dress me up as a cyborg bounty hunter while her best friend healed me under the watch of a giant necrotic spider mare." Arcanista stared, eyes twitching. "...I beg your pardon?" "Er... r-right. I keep forgetting how little you know about the Jury's past." "Sounds like you could write a book on it." "Or a dozen." Rainbow did a double-take into the mirror. "Dummy. You already made that joke..." "Well, in any case, I wouldn't fret too much." Arcanista paced over to Rainbow. "Once we're situated beyond the West Gate, you'll be able to use your wings as much as you like." "Right..." "We'll be counting on you to get an eye-in-the-sky on the enemy," Arcanista said. "Whoever or whatever they will be." "Will I be the only thing flying?" "Huh?" "Er... is flying tech a thing in Val Roa?" "Honestly, no." Arcanista shook her head. "Although we are quite prepared to deal with flying forces in the event of an invasion." Rainbow shuddered. "I know that only t-too well..." "Oh?" "Tell me." Rainbow tilted her head up, gazing intently at the Duchess. "Do the Val Roans have... uhm..." "Yes...?" Rainbow gulped. "Some sort of... I-I dunno... magical anti-aircraft barrier?" "I'm afraid I don't quite follow." "She's talking about the Soul Sentries," spoke a deep voice, entering the room. Rainbow jolted, then spun about. Jake was still shaking flecks of brick and plaster off his antlers. "Hidey ho, puke head!" "Oh look," Rainbow muttered, eyebrows even. "It's the moose." "Ballerinas!" Jake smirked as he thump thump thump'd into the room. "So you've heard of me!" "Yeah..." Rainbow frowned, dragging a hoof across the floor. "And I heard of what you almost did to my friends." Jake shrugged. "So I was in a bug-crushing mood and they got in the way. Can you forgive a moose for having murdered his way through a sea of goblins to get here?" "Hello, Constable," Arcanista said. "Did you finish beating up my brother?" "Actually, he just gave me the licking of a lifetime." "Oh truly?" Arcanista smiled. "So there's still hope for him." "I wouldn't shake it unless it squirted on its own, Duchy Baby." Jake's beady eyes narrowed. "A piece of Floyd is still there, but he ain't the same he... ain't he?" "It's a sheer miracle that he arrived here at all, Constable." "Yeah. Too bad he's committing the nasty sin of forgeting ass-everything." "Uhhhh..." Rainbow leaned forward with a scowl. "You said something about 'Soul Sentries?'" "Easy there, pipsqueak. That dress might go off." "For real! What the hay is that?!" "They're deer," Jake said. "But no ordinary noblefolk, but honor-driven freakazonkers who give up everything--family, life, title, emotion--just to hone their skills into one thing." "And what's that?" "Zapping the God-forsaken Hell out of the sky! That's what! Yeesh!" Jake rolled his eyes, nearly scraping the ceiling with his antlers. "Were you born under a space rock?!" "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not from around here." "And in case you haven't noticed, I don't give a mother-fluffing damn!" "Constable, be kind," Arcanista said. "After all, the three of us will be traveling across country together, plus one 'princess' and pluse one 'Xonan magistrate.'" "Fine... fine." Jake gave a long, slobbering yawn. "Soul Sentries are--like--the top brassiest of the top brass when it comes to honorable Val Roan defenders. They go through this freaky-deaky ritual thang where they give up their individuality in order to become... like... a walking gun." "Walking... gun...?" "And then they're managed by captains of the Defense Ministry to zap any incoming goblin invaders. Or in this case..." She smirked. "A winged pony with boogers for a mane." Rainbow frowned. "I'll have you know that these souped up 'Soul Sentries' almost brought an end to the Noble Jury!" she spat. "As well as every one of my friends who depends so heavily on magic!" "Hah! Well, what were you doing flying over the capital?!" "We werent!" Rainbow snarled. "We were simply trying to fly in over the mountain range! But the crazy energy beams shot us down!" "No kiddin'?!" "Dude... like... the barrier of magic surrounds your whole dayum inner kingdom!" Jake opened his muzzle, but froze. He blinked. "Huh... the whole kingdom, you say?" "Yeah! Totally!" Th-Thud! The moose slumped back on his haunches. He inhaled and exhaled deeply. "Constable?" Arcanista raised an eyebrow. "Is there something you know that you're not telling us?" 'Well, rodeos, Duchy..." Jake's pained muzzle flexed. "You've been stuck here in Bootyful for a long-ass time! You haven't the faintest idea what it's like out there with all of the stuff that's been going on!" "I imagine that dealing with the goblins has been most harrowing." "Hell, no!" Jake grinned wide. "That's been super stinkin' fun! I could squish those buggers' eyes out in their sleep!" "Then what are you referring to?" "Well, rumor is that the Soul Sentry division of the Ministry has been doubling... quadrupling in size." Jake's hairy brown ears twitched. "I figured it was all on account of the Prince's coronation coming up and all, but that's a bit overkill. I mean... these poor deer saps are giving up their whole lives to become these pew pew rockets... and for what? If I had that many soldiers committed to sky zappage, I'd be preparing for an invasion!" He rubbed his hairy chin cleft. "Or for an invasion." Rainbow gave him a sharp look. "Did you just say...?" "I know what it sounds like I said, bird horse." Jake's nostrils flared. "And I'm not liking it any more than you are." Rainbow fidgeted in her peasant gown. "Maybe... like... you should tell me more about these 'Soul Sentries.'" "I have a better idea." He glared her way. "You tell us more about them." "Huh?" "Just what in the hell did you guy go through up there over the kingdom's border?" Rainbow sighed long and hard. "I was afraid you were gonna ask that..."