Trixie groaned, flopping over onto her stomach, a fuzzy feeling under her barrel. The pain that lanced through her head reminded her of every hangover she ever experienced, but worse. Opening one eye, she scanned her surroundings, wondering where the chaotic mess of light and movement had deposited her. It was an office. A plush red rug covered the floor, the back of a wooden desk rising past her view, a bronze sextant resting next to her hoof. Confusion marring her features, Trixie pushed herself upright, and continued to examine her surroundings with a raised eyebrow.
Open files and books were scattered across the desktop in a haphazard mess. The results of some manner of late night study session, Trixie guessed. But the city out the window looked familiar enough at least. Trixie would recognize the skyline of Neigh Orleans anywhere. A few bookshelves were thrown up against the walls, a small collection of books haphazardly thrown into one, while the other seemed to be groaning under the weight of all the files crammed upon its shelves.
Frowning, Trixie turned her attention back to what was on the desk. A few books on magical constructions rested atop an open file. Pushing the books aside, she quickly scanned the latter. The pages contained a collection of facts on a tapir- an important sounding one, based on the title alone- Ambassador Velenta, and a collection of details on his supposed crimes.
Slave trafficking.
Trixie shuddered. She had never heard of this creature, or the slave trade being connected to Neigh Orleans. At least in the current day and age. So what was going on? That answer was partially answered when her eyes fell upon a photo that rested on the edge of the desk. It clearly displayed a younger version of herself, dressed in her purple star studded cape and hat- though both seemed a little large on her frame- and beaming like the noonday sun. An older mare, similarly dressed, stood beside her; a mare that Trixie only recognized from old photos and descriptions.
“Momma?” She gasped.
The photo was wrong. The version of herself in it was in her early teens and her mother had died when she was very, very young. Unfamiliar names. Unfamiliar history. Trixie groaned.
“I swear, if I’m in another universe again….”
The last time she had been shunted between realities, she, another her, and two Twilight Sparkles had accidentally caused some kind of nihilistic magic...thing, to come into being. And she wanted to avoid something like that happening again. Her eyes roamed towards the picture again. Obviously, this universe had a Trixie as well. Maybe she was behind her own arrival to...well, wherever exactly in Neigh Orleans she was. Sighing, she trotted for the door and peeked out into the hallway beyond.
It was short. Little more than a walkway that lead to a spiral metal staircase that coiled down to the floor below. Another door, bearing the words “Meeting Room” on its surface sat on the other side of the hall. Ignoring it and heading to the staircase, she took the steps two at a time, landing neatly in what was obviously a theatre’s backstage. The stage was to her right, the employee entrance doors straight ahead, and the dressing rooms off to her left.
“Hello?” She called out, scanning her surroundings for any sign of life, “Other Trixie? Anypony?”
Silence was the response. In fact, if the electric lights hadn’t been on, she’d have sworn that the theatre would have been closed for the night. “Great.” Trixie groaned, “I’m on my own.”
All things considered, she wasn’t sure if this was better or worse than how her last jaunt between worlds had gone. At least last time she had caused enough trouble right out of the gate to catch the attention of that world’s Element Bearers. Her thoughts drifted back to the books on magic items on the table upstairs and the ancient looking mariners device that had been resting on the floor. Perhaps she could find some answers there.
Whirling about, she charged back up the metal staircase, hooves loudly clanging against the metal. Skidding back into the office, she dashed around the side of the writing desk and snatched up the sextant. Tapping into her magic sight, she started to examine the device.
It was gray, dull, and magically dead.
“Merde.” She swore, dropping it on the desk. The two tomes on magical items and artifacts still rested there, the only other immediate lead she had, “I suppose I’ll have to hit the books...and hope.”
- - - -
Trixie swore as she pushed herself to her hooves.
“Stupid, stupid, STUPID!” She snarled, rubbing at the bump on her head, “I should have known better to just start poking at a magic item I hadn’t even identified yet! Because then I set it off by accident!”
Swearing again, she examined the room she found herself in, already recognizing some parts of it from her extra worldly spy session. It was a small, but cozy looking living room. The carpet under her hooves was clean, but rather simple, and an empty fireplace was set into the wall before her. What stood out on the wall to her left, however, was what really grabbed her attention.
Painted in a stylized, storybook manner, it depicted the familiar story of Celestia’s and Luna’s conflict, and subsequent banishment of the moon princess. Save for the fact that the details were completely reversed, showing Luna triumphant with a sun and moon balanced on her wings.
“Everything that is or could be.” Trixie muttered.
Her stomach churned. Her first hoof in another reality and it was one where the mare who had trusted her with so much had gone evil.
Great. She thought. Well...might as well see what else is here.
Trotting through the rest of the building revealed a few more important details to her. The office- set diagonally from the living room- was full of documents and other effects that indicated some kind of administrative position. The other, and perhaps more important fact for Trixie at the moment, was the fully stocked liquor cabinet.
“Alright.” Trixie nodded to herself, trotting upstairs with the bottle of bourbon and a glass suspended in her aura, “If the other me is even half as good with magic as I am, I’m sure she’ll be able to work out what happened.”
Stepping into what she worked out was a guest room, she flopped down into the bed, slowly pouring herself a glass of delicious, delicious bourbon. “So. The smartest thing to do is not to panic, and just wait for her to figure out how to undo the process.” She took a long drink of the amber colored alcohol. “And if she hasn’t in a few days, get in touch with this universes Element Bearers and Princess Luna and move on from there.”
She topped the drink off again, smiling at her own infallible logic.
“No need to panic.”
- - - -
The sunlight streamed in through the window, calling Trixie back to the waking world. The Element of Magic groaned again, straightening up and pulling her head away from the book she had turned into a pillow. She stretched, popping the aches and pains out of her spine, all the while cursing the random slings and arrows that had dragged her here.
The books had not been helpful. One had just been a ledger of items. Useless for her. The other book had listed a bunch of magic items, but none of which seemed like they were going to be useful for jumping between worlds. And the other books in the office were novels that, while looking like they’d be entertaining reads, were useless to her plight.
She had found a bag of golden bits tucked away in a drawer, however. The sun insignia stamped into the burnished metal indicating that she was either in another benevolent Celestia universe, or one where Corona had taken over everything.
“Really hope its the former.” She sighed, staring out the window at the rising sun.
A creaking sound reached her ears, echoing down the short hallway. Trixie frowned as she trotted to the office door, straining her ears for more signs of movement.
“Trixie?” A deep male voice shouted, “Ya here?”
Great. Trixie thought. Guess I should play along for now. Don’t want to freak anypony out like last time.
“I’m in the office!” She shouted back, rushing back behind the desk. Soft hoof falls- very soft hoof falls, in fact- approached, and Trixie turned to shuffling around the files in an effort to look busy. Looking up as the hoof falls entered the office, her jaw almost dropped at what greeted her eyes.
A large male lion had just strode into the room.
WHO LET A LION INTO THE BUILDING! Stars above, let that thing be trained! Please let it be trained. Where’s the pony that let it in?
The feline glanced down at the desk. “Lookin’ over the next job we were gonna do?”
The lion is talking. Of course its talking. Trixie thought, smiling all the while. “Sure is.”
“Slavers.” He snorted, before flashing a grin full of very sharp fangs, “Ah’m gonna enjoy taking this guy out. The others here yet?”
“Not yet.” Trixie responded, “The whole crew arriving today?”
“Yeah. Iron Will and Northern Lights should be here soon enough, providin’ that they didn’t decide ta be lazy today.”
The door creaked in the distance again, a pair of voices calling out this time.
“Trixie?” Another male voice shouted, “You here? Kassa shown up yet?”
“Office!” Trixie shouted, quickly wrapping a volume enhancement enchantment around her throat.
A few moments later, two more figures stepped into the office. A minotaur and a pegasus pony. She knew the minotaur, Iron Will, by reputation at least, from the whole sequence of events revolving around Raindrops and the crazed “doctor” Crane. The pegasus wasn’t familiar, though the shimming aura mark on her flanks would have to make her Northern Lights.
“Alright boss.” She chirped, “Don’t we have a slaver to take out?”
“Right.” Trixie nodded, “Head on over to the meeting room and I’ll be right there. Just need to go over the last few details.”
Nodding, the strange menagerie crossed the hall and disappeared into the other room. Trixie quietly closed the office door, and groaned, slumping to the floor.
“They’re expecting me to lead them in some kind of crazy plan. What in Luna’s name has the other me been doing? I should come up with some kind of excuse, focus on getting home. If Corona pulls something while I’m stuck here….”
But, one word kept blazing in her mind. Slavers. Beings that sold other beings for a profit. And she was Dame Trixie Lulamoon, knight of Equestria. No matter what, or which version of Equestria she found herself in.
With a sigh, she turned to the file, horn glowing. “I should at least take a look…”
- - - -
Across the void of time and space, Trixie awoke to the sound of thunderous hoof strikes on the door. Groaning, she flopped out of the bed, sending the empty bourbon bottle skittering across the floor with a clang that sounded far too loud to her ears. Swearing again, she stumbled down the stairs, cursing the hangover, the magic sextant, and herself for downing the entire bottle of bourbon without stopping to consider the ramifications.
“I’m coming! Sun above, I’m coming!”
She threw open the door, blinking blearily at the pony on the other side. A jasmine coated, cyan maned pegasus stared back with an expression that Trixie would normally call “cross”.
“Can I...help you?” Trixie asked, blinking against the angry morning light.
The pegasus raised an eyebrow ever so slightly.
“Trixie. We have problems at the farms.”
“What kind of problems.” She raised a hoof to shield her eyes.
“We got goats.”
- - - -
The hangover was still slicing into her brain like a crazed knife wielding pony, by the time the raindrop marked pony had lead her to the farms outside Ponyville. The first one they came upon was a carrot farm, where four goats were resolutely munching away at the rows of produce, plucking carrot after carrot from the ground. A yellow coated, orange maned earth pony was doing her best to make the goats go away.
“Please! You can’t just eat my whole crop!" She moaned. "I’ll be more than happy to sell you all the carrots you want!”
But the goats ignored her, and continued to eat away.
“It’s like this all over the farms.” The pegasus frowned, “This massive group of goats just...showed up and started helping themselves. They won’t react to anything anypony says and just keep eating.”
“And?” Trixie blinked.
The jasmine pegasus stared at her for a moment.
“You’re the Night Court Representative here. I know you got a bad hangover but can’t you...do something?”
“Right.” Trixie nodded, reaching a hoof up to adjust her hat, only to realize that she wasn’t wearing it. Sighing, she stomped on over to the goats, “You all there! As the duly appointed representative of the Night Court of...Luna, I require you to vacate this town, and return to your town of origin, or the nearest convenient one!”
The four goats looked up and stared at her for a moment. Then they returned to grazing.
Trixie frowned.
“I said, move out!”
They continued to eat.
Frowning deeper, she tried shoving the lead goat out of the way, pressing her hooves against his side. “I need you,” She grunted, “To move along! There’s plenty of produce to eat at the market! Providing you...PAY!”
The goat took a step forward, forcing Trixie to topple snout first into the dirt. Another stab of pain drilled through the side of her skull as the goat gave her a light kick, just to rub salt into the wound.
“Please, stop!” The farmer shouted, desperately running from goat to goat, “I’ll go broke if you eat all my stock!”
The statement echoed in Trixie’s mind like the roar of cannon fire. No money, no way for her to keep her farm. Destitute. Homeless. A low growl escaped Trixie as she forced herself upright again. Shaking the remains of earth from her mane, a snarl of absolute rage twisted her features.
“To Tartarus with this!” She snapped, “I have a splitting headache and am not in the mood!”
Rearing onto her hindhooves, she channeled, weaving a spell across the field. A cascading series of blue smoke puffs washed over every growing carrot, the vegetables vanishing. Satisfied with her efforts, Trixie landed back on all fours, a smug smile crossing her muzzle. The goats paused in their repast, turning their gaze towards the unicorn for a moment. Then, as one, they turned and went right back to eating, Trixie’s invisibility spell not slowing them down, even for a moment.
Trixie stared, her mind grinding out what just happened, and trying to make sense of it. She was an illusionist and a damn good one at that, and these marauding goats had seen right through her efforts and continued eating the poor mare’s crops.
“Fine.” She growled, dearly wishing she had her hat, so that she could push it forward in a suitably dramatic manner, “You want to do this the hard way? We’ll do this the hard way!”
“Trixie?” The jasmine colored pegasus blinked, “What are you doing?”
Trixie decked the lead goat right on the snout. It toppled backwards, bleating in shock, and tumbling into one of its fellows with a tangle of legs. One of his friends let loose a bleat of war and charged, lowering his horns with the full intention to bowl Trixie over. Trixie took a step back, kicking a clod of dirt into the onrushing goat’s eyes. He stumbled, horns gouging into the dirt. Trixie pounced on him in an instant, repeatedly slamming her hoof into the goat’s side, aiming for the kidneys.
“Get off this farm!” She snarled, “She’s not going to lose her livelihood because you sorry walking stomachs don’t understand the concept of paying!”
“Trixie! Lookout!”
The jasmine pegasus body checked one of the other goats that was rushing in for an attack, sending it tumbling away. The yellow coated earth pony gaped, but quickly threw herself into the fight as well, pinning the goat that the pegasus had just body slammed to the ground. The two that had previously thudded to the ground got back up, circling the group. Jasmine flared her wings, resolutely taking a stance to block their attempts to get to their friend. The goat that Trixie was grappling with began to buck, trying to throw her off his body, but she latched on like tick.
“Get. OUT!” Trixie yelled, kicking out with a hind hoof.
The goat bleated again, toppling forward as Trixie rolled free. With another bleat, the goats tore off rushing off into the distance and out of sight. Jasmine and Yellow spun about, a mixture of anger and confusion dominating their features.
“Discord’s mismatched horns Trixie!” Jasmine raged, “What was that? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you go off on somepony that way!”
Trixie blinked, grinning sheepishly. “I may...have had a little too much to drink last night. And they started it by trying to eat the farm bare on their own!”
“I just…” Yellow blinked, “I’ve never seen you fight like that before.”
“Neigh Orleans fighting.” Trixie shrugged, offering that as an explanation, “Look, isn’t this happening at the other farms too? We need to stop them!”
Without waiting for a response, she tore off down the road, and towards the next farm.
- - - -
Trixie flipped the file closed.
There was really no question now. She had to help this team that her other self had pulled together.
This Velenta character was a piece of work, everything that Trixie had despised about the worst aspects of the Night Court, if not somehow worse. Money and influence to intimidate those around him, and a seemingly inherent sociopathy that allowed him to treat creatures like so much market stock. It was all there in the files, if one could read between the lines. Never enough to bring to trial, and always dancing just out of hoof-reach. But what had really pushed Trixie into her decision, was the letter that the tapirian emperor had included.
The hoof writing was elegant, but shaky. Like the writer had been choking back either rage or sadness, though Trixie couldn’t say for sure which.
Trixie Lulamoon,
Princess Celestia has spoken to me of your efforts in Neigh Orleans, and your dedication to seeing that what happened to you, does not happen to other creatures in that city. It is with a heavy heart that I ask you to assist an old man, who’s failed to do the same for some of his subjects.
The nobility of my homeland hangs onto the old traditions, and they fought me on emancipation from day one. I suspect that Velenta is part of a ring that takes tapir and ponies from the lower income areas of Tapiria’s large cities, and now he drags the lands of my ally into this?
If you can stop him, I would consider it to be a personal favor. It would help me break the rings at home. Please. Help ensure that this...institution...dies its final death, before I do.
- Emperor Dom Placido II “The Magnanimous” of Tapiria and Her Creatures
“All right old man, you got Dame Trixie to help you this time.” She smirked.
Casting her photographic memory charm, Trixie picked up the file folder and trotted across the hall. The team looked up from their seats as she entered, dropped the folder on the edge of the table, and sank into her chair.
“Alright everypony.” She nodded, keeping her head held high, “We have an ambassador to take down. Let’s get to work. Do we have any plans on the table already?” She asked with an imperious wave of her hoof.
“Not yet, no.” Northern Light’s frowned, “But that’s mostly because you haven’t told us anything aside from the fact we’re going after a slaver. We need details.”
“Oh, right.” Trixie grinned, letting her spell fill in the gaps, “Sorry. Getting ahead of myself here. The slaver in question is an ambassador. A tapir named Velenta.”
The shocked expressions from the table told her how well that statement went over.
“So, if we screw up.” Kassa drawled, tapping his claws on the desk, “We’ll cause an international incident.”
“Which is why we can’t screw up. Besides, since half of this intel came from the tapir emperor, it’d be a small incident at best.”
“Oh, okay.” The lion shook his head, “So long as its a small incident, we’ll be fine.”
“There won’t be an incident! We can handle this. Now,” She shuffled through the files, “According to my intelligence here, Celestia and Placido think that he and some others in his ring shuffle their slaves around. Mix them in with paid servants so that everything looks normal.”
“Then we find one of them and get them out.” Iron Will nodded, “Tip off Frolicsome Medowlark. He’ll have all he needs to take em out!”
“But how do we get in?” Northern Lights interrupted with a hoof slap on the table, “I mean, I can sneak in, but the rest of you? Trixie can’t make everycreature invisible for the duration.”
Betcha I could. Trixie thought. But it would be kind of restrictive. Better if we could waltz in somehow….
Something suddenly occurred to her, fueled by the spell, and her own memory. Quickly flipping through the pages, she found what she was looking for.
“He has a young daughter.” Trixie smiled, tapping the page, “Who’s having a birthday tomorrow.”
“And?” Northern Lights blinked.
“And this party will be graced by the show stopping presence of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Trixie shouted, jumping up from her seat, “And her talented assistants!”
“This is gonna be one of those plans that’s gonna wind up with me embarrassed, aint it?”
“Maybe.”
- - - -
“Trixie! STOP!”
The unicorn glanced behind her as she ran. Her hooves chose that exact moment to find a rock a dip in the road that sent her crashing to the ground for the second time today.
Gravity in this universe hates me. She bitterly thought, staring up into the clear blue sky.
Jasmine and Yellow’s heads suddenly filled her field of vision, both looking deeply concerned. Jasmine spoke first as she helped drag Trixie back to her hooves.
“Trixie. What’s gotten into you?” Jasmine frowned, “You’re acting like...well...me, I guess. We’re your friends. Talk to us.”
Fantastic. All the ponies I had to find here, and I run into my twin’s friends. She mentally cursed, while keeping an apologetic expression on her face. Gotta try and feel out their names at least. Raindrop and carrot cutie mark. Worth a shot.
“It’s...I just had a bad night last night Drops. And then these goats started wrecking Carrot’s farm. I just...I got angry.”
Technically the truth, with some details left off, admittedly. Drops glared at her, her tail twitching.
“I can understand that.” Carrot frowned, not objecting to the given moniker, “But you can’t beat up every goat in Ponyville!”
“I can try.” Trixie frowned, “They’re resistant to my magic. If I can’t magic them away, then hoof to hoof combat seems like my only other option.”
“Trixie.” Drops frowned, “You're smarter than this. And if you keep attacking them, sooner or later they’re going to gang up on you and stomp you into the ground.”
Trixie clenched her teeth, rubbing the side of her still aching head. “Stupid hangover. I just can’t think straight!”
Rolling her eyes, Carrot poked Trixie back to her hooves. “Alright. Hangover remedy fist, goats second.”