//------------------------------// // Fluttershy (2) // Story: Essence of a Sunrise: That which is Left Behind // by maxxxxxx //------------------------------// “Rainbow Dash...” Fluttershy whispered as she took a staggering step back. Her oldest friend stood facing away from her, leaning up against a tree. She hadn't yet seen Fluttershy or if she did, she was ignoring her. What should I do? What can I do? She glanced quickly around, scanning her environment, they were alone, just the two of them. She wanted to run, her legs were trembling and her heart raced. No, I- I may never get another chance like this. Twilight isn't around, if I'm going to do something it- it has to be now. With a nervous gulp, she built up her nerve, forcing one hoof in front of the other as she approached her friend. The hot breeze rustled thought the branches of the trees, under it's veil Fluttershy approached as quietly as she could, still uncertain in her fortitude. Half of her wanted to give up and turn around, to fly away and she knew she might. Still, she kept slowly pacing forward, drawing closer and closer to her friend. Is there anything I can say? I already begged Twilight to change her back, none of the others could convince Rainbow to make Twilight help her. They all failed, so what chance do I have? I should leave. I should find Applejack and ask her to help me... The hot, dry wind suddenly changed direction, whipping at the meek pegasus from behind, pushing, almost as though urging her forward. It was strange, Fluttershy couldn't tell if it was pegasi instinct or something else, but for whatever reason, with the wind at her back, she felt a spark of strength come alive inside her. No, I've known her longer that anypony else. I can reach out to her, I can save her. I know I can! She was standing just behind her friend now and time seemed to be slowing, the tension once again drawing out her fear and anxiety as she came to a stop. Standing and staring at her friend who still hadn't noticed her as she face the tree and stared down at it's roots. The breeze came to a sudden stop, filling the air with a terrible silence. Fluttershy could her her heart pounding. “Rainbow Dash.” Even with her soft voice, Dash's ears pricked up and swiveled. Slowly, she turned her head to face Fluttershy. After a quick glace behind her, Rainbow Dash began the arduous process of turning around to face her. Fluttershy could feel her heart sinking as she watched her crippled friend who once could soar higher and fly faster than all but the Wonderbolts themselves, a super athlete in her own right, now struggling to merely about-face. She didn't know what to do. Despite desperately wishing to extend her hoof in aide to her friend, something was holding her still, as though she was paralyzed, resigned only to watch her friend struggle, as she had done since Dash's accident. Something burned inside of her, smoldering her insides and searing her heart: It was rage, and it was close to boiling over. After a great struggle, Rainbow gave an exasperated sigh before looking up into Fluttershy's eyes. Fluttershy could see a tumultuous mix, a storm of feeling swirling around in Rainbow's eyes. Her courage began to deflate as she felt those eyes almost piercing her, as though she were being stripped by Rainbow's complicated but sad gaze. Dash's mouth opened and time once again seemed to slow, if for no other reason than to draw out her torment. This would be the first time she heard Rainbow's voice since that day at the hospital. Fluttershy couldn't help it, even now, once again, adding to the countless number of times she had done so, she recalled that day with horrific vividness. Images flashed by in her mind, all full of memories of that day but each only lasting a moment. Twilight weeping ceaselessly over Dash's bandaged and broken body when she arrived at the hospital. She can't recall a time she had ever flown so fast in her life and still, she was the last one to arrive. She could smell Rainbow's blood clearly through her bandages. The unforgettable smell haunted her, even now. She remembered Rainbow's eyes fluttering open as though from nothing more than a deep sleep and then... “Who are all of you? Who is Rainbow Dash?” Those words echoed deafeningly within her. Those were the last words her she had heard her best friend, and truly, the pony that knew her better than any other, say to her. It left her heart cripple and now, she was bracing herself once again, to hear her friend's voice. Snapping back to reality, Rainbow's words hit her like lightening. “You were that pony at the hospital... Fluttershy right?” ************************************************************ “You were that pony at the hospital... Fluttershy right?” Sunrise asked. She knew, she knew well the pony she was talking to. Twilight had told her many things about Fluttershy. She was Rainbow Dash's best friend, for a very long time. Sunrise had to actively keep her heart calm, she could feel the heavy tension in the air, so heavy it was almost suffocating. This... this was going to happen, it had to happen. I just, I just thought that when it did, I would have Twilight by my side. This is dangerous, there's something about Fluttershy that's different from everypony else, a heartache that goes beyond anything I've seen in the others. She could see it, simply the phrasing of her question hurt the mare, her eyes drifting down to the earth and her head tilting away from Sunrise. It was subtle, but Sunrise could tell, she could see a reservoir of pain walled up within her small body and the damn she had built was weakening every moment. “Y-yes... I'm Fluttershy...” She whispered. Her tone forced to conceal a subtle crack from held back tears. Sunrise felt it, the same thing, again and again. Nopony, nopony could understand or know, how it felt, for her very existence to be a source of grief. A pain, deep down inside her, Sunrise felt a sorrow grow that she knew all too well, and that name... it was always that name that they called her. Why can't I just... I just want to be real! Why can't they just accept that I'm me!? “Are you going tell me I don't exist as well Fluttershy?” A dull pain clouded her discerning eyes. She could remember clearly, perfectly, every single time her life was deigned, her existence was rejected and her name was ignored. She felt like a ghost, an unwanted apparition steeling a body that didn't belong to her. Even Twilight, even she, until very recently, she couldn't see me for me, only as something occupying this body. “No!” Fluttershy's head shot up, making strikingly direct contact with Sunrise's own. “I would never do that Rainbow Dash, of course you exist.” “Fluttershy, you know don't you? You know that I'm not R-” “So, how have you been feeling!?” Fluttershy hastily interjected, forcing a smile that was awkward at best and painful at worst. A weak giggle came, barely audible from her throat as she gazed anxiously at Sunrise. “I...” Sunrise could almost hear Fluttershy begging withing her mind for her to play along, to just let it go. She couldn't be sure why, but something was holding her back from doing what she knew she should. Maybe it was her eyes that showed a pain, one that looked and felt familiar to Sunrise. On some level, she felt that Fluttershy, may understand her pain. Something else was there, a feeling, niggling deep in her mind, something that she just couldn't place. With a deep and weighty sigh, she gave in to Fluttershy's wish. “I've been alright... as long as I take my pills when I'm supposed to, avoid certain foods and take it easy, I'm alright. I've even been able to walk... sort of. I guess you can see that though.” “T-that's great! I'm really happy to see that your getting better. Has the doctor said anything about your wings yet?” “Well, there was a treatment that may have worked, but with my heart the way it is... I decided not to do it. That's why I'm here, I was going to meet up with Scootaloo to tell her.” “Oh, I see.” Fluttershy looked around her, a relieved look flashed across her face as she found the two of them, still alone, with nopony in sight. “Is Twilight going to be joining you?” “No, she stayed at home, I wanted to tell Scootaloo by myself, it only seemed right.” Sunrise found more and more that she was regretting that decision, not because she was wrong, but because all she wished for was that Twilight was beside her for this. She couldn't explain why, as Fluttershy's smile grew more genuine knowing they were alone, she felt that feeling that she couldn't identify, growing more intense. She could tell now, what that feeling was, and her heart began to beat faster. “Well, don't worry, I'm sure your heart will get better, then you can do the treatment and be able to fly again!” She smiled cheerfully. “I'm okay actually, with never experiencing flight. I'll be able to walk again soon, and then I can help Twilight, and I can do more things with her and my friends.” “Once you get your memories back, Rainbow, you'll know what flying feels like, you've always loved it.” As Fluttershy's smile grew brighter, Sunrise's certainty grew stronger as to what that feeling was: Fear, It was fear. The delicate veneer that was Fluttershy's smile, was weakening the damn, the wall she had built up, between herself and her anguish. Sunrise took slow, deep breaths, trying to calm her heart. A terrible sense of foreboding hung over her like an approaching storm. “Fluttershy, stop, you have to know... Rainbow Dash, she's gone...” Sunrise said her words slowly, gauging the effect each syllable had, each word, each movement of her lips, but Fluttershy kept her peaceful, jovial mask. “It's okay though! Once we talk to Twilight together, she'll be able to bring your memories back!” “No Fluttershy, I'm sorry but-” “What are you apologizing for? I'm the one that should apologize, I should have noticed something before this all happened, I should have been able to prevent this.” Fluttershy's smile was juxtaposed against her sad, glistening eyes, her quivering lips, her distraught voice and her furrowed brow. She stepped closer to Sunrise until their noses were only inches apart. Sunrise flashed back to their meeting in the hospital, the way she shoved Fluttershy's hoof away from her, the heart break that was in her eyes. At the time, Sunrise was too overwhelmed to have known, but now, with Fluttershy looking into her with that same look once again, Sunrise could see, a heart break, twisted and hidden behind a refusal to accept what's right in front of her, a refusal to believe, that her beloved friend was gone, and Sunrise was what remained. Suddenly, she knew that, despite her fear, despite her sympathy, there was only one way to get through, she had to weather the torrent of pain, damned up behind a delicate lie. Her heart was racing now, it was beyond her control to calm it and she knew, if this didn't end soon, her life may be in danger. There's no turning back now! I'm the only one that can do this! She took a deep breath, and steeled herself. “You need to accept it!” She shouted, eyes blazing with the same penetrating glare that she wore time and time again. As she's been told, it's one of her defining features, a look to her that Twilight said she and Rainbow Dash did not share. It was her own, and she drew strength from it, it was like a positive feedback loop. Her fear shrank before her certainty, that she would be able to do it, she could help Fluttershy. “W-what are you saying Rainbow?” Fluttershy spoke calmly, her smile now jarringly out of place right below eyes that her about to burst at the seems with the tears she was forcing back. Sunrise doubted she even knew she was about to cry. “That's not my name Fluttershy!” She staggered forward, her weak hind legs on the brink of giving out, still she stood, holding her ground as Fluttershy at the same moment took a step back. “It is your name! I-I've known you for-” “She's gone! She's dead Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash is gone forever!” “T-that's not true! Rainbow, why are you doing this? We're friends, you're my best friend!” “I told you Fluttershy, that's not my name... I'm not your friend that you lost. I know, I know it's hurting you, I know it's hard to accept, but you have to, I'm not Rainbow Dash.” Sunrise calmed voice, speaking more gently, she could see Fluttershy's tears now pooling in the corner of her eyes and she could feel her shaking even through the ground. “You are... you are Rainbow Dash...” Fluttershy's eyes looked again to the ground, but her smile remained. She was clinging to it, the last flimsy piece of her wall, the only thing protecting her heart. It hurt Sunrise, knowing full well the weakness of a broken heart. Despite that, she knew what she had to do. She had to destroy it, the shield that separated her, from her heart, no matter how much it hurt. “Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash died. I'm not her...” “No! Stop! Please Rainbow, please stop!” Fluttershy pleaded as her frail smile began to devolve into one of anguish. Her breathing was rapid and the first tears flowed, soaking into her fur. “My name is Vibrant Sunrise! Not Rainbow Dash! I'm not her! I'm me! I'm me Fluttershy! Do you hear me!? Rainbow Dash is gone!” “No!” In a blur of pale yellow Fluttershy closed the distance between them and Sunrise felt a weight slam into her pushing her back. Pain surged through her back legs and she gritted her teeth as she winced. Looking back in front of her, Fluttershy rested her hooves and Sunrise's shoulders, tears streamed down her cheeks with no effort. “You have to remember me Rainbow Dash! You have to!” “Fluttershy stop! My heart!” It was too late, she could feel it's rhythm become more and more erratic and a familiar tightness in her chest take hold. Not now, not yet! I can still get through to her! Come on, just a little longer! “Please Rainbow, we've been best friends since we were little!” “Rainbow Dash is gone! Look at me! Really look at me! Do you really see your friend? Who do you see? Do you see Rainbow Dash right now, in front of you?!” “Yes!” Fluttershy screamed, putting more weight against Sunrise's body. “You have to remember me Rainbow, you saved me from those bullies back in Summer Flight School!” “That wasn't me! I don't know you! Why can't you acknowledge me!? I'm not her damn it!” “You're the reason I go me Cutie mark! When you preformed the sonic rainboom for the first time! It's thanks to you that I get to do what I love! Only because you were doing what you love, being loyal to your friends and flying! That's you Rainbow Dash! That's you and so much more! You can't lose it! You can't forget me!” “I can't fly! I've never flown and I don't care if I don't! I'm not anything like her!” “Yes you are! You have to remember!” Fluttershy screamed. Her eyes were wild and clouded with her tears. Her breathing was as erratic as Sunrise's heart. “You have to let her go!” “No!” Her voice was breaking from her throat being screamed raw. Sunrise could feel her falling apart inside. “Let her go!” “You're still in there!” “You can't bring her b-” "Yes I can! I have to!" "I'm not-" “You killed your mother!” Fluttershy's body froze, and her tears stopped instantly as her eyes widened. “I- I... I didn't....” “W-what...?” “I'm sorry...” Fluttershy fell limply off of Sunrise, her eye contact never breaking as she retreated, backing away slowly. “I'm sorry... I'm sorry!” With that last scream she spun around and ran away, in her wake, a solitary breeze wafted over Sunrise's body. She watched as the pale yellow figure vanished behind a hill. “What did she- Arg... Ahhhhh!” She screamed, suddenly, a pain worse than her heart shot through her head like a spike being driven slowly through her skull. She fell against the tree, bracing her front hooves against her head. Her body felt as though it were on fire, every inch of her was burning. One image flashed through her mind as her vision went black. A small filly, with a rainbow mane and tail, and a sky blue coat, soaring through the air, tears blasted from her face by the force of the wind. Struggling for a breath, Sunrise collapsed in the grass as even her mind, went dark.