The Study of a Winning Pony

by Ponibius

Cake and Lies

“Why didn't you tell me I had a sister?!” I demanded as I stomped my way into the manor study. Not exactly the most subtle way to start a conversation, but screw subtle. I wanted answers, and I wanted them now.

Dad blinked at me. “Twilight?”

“You know who I'm talking about!” I stomped a hoof on the study rug. “Vinyl Scratch, my half-sister. The one you had with your secretary, Dad.”

Sighing, Mom put aside the book she had been reading. “You should've known this was coming, Night.”

“Yes.” Dad took a long break before speaking again. “We were planning on telling you eventually.”

I snorted derisively. “Oh? When? I hope you weren't planning on some sort of deathbed confession like in some silly play.”

“Calm down, dear,” Mom said in a soothing tone. “I know you're upset, but losing your temper won't make this any easier.”

“Well how am I supposed to act in a situation like this!?” I paced in front of the low table and couch my parents were sitting on. “There isn't exactly a book outlining this type of thing! At least I don’t remember there being a book with a title like So Your Dad Is Having An Affair: How to Deal With It In 20 Simple Steps.”

“I'm sure you have plenty of questions for us.” Dad pushed himself off the couch and made his way over to the study liquor cabinet. “Why don't you take a seat, have something to drink, and we'll answer them one by one.” Grabbing a few glasses and a bottle of wine, he poured them.

“I-I don't know if I can.” I kept pacing, feeling so flustered that my hooves moved with their own energy. “I'm not sure if I even can sit down right now.”

“Sit down, dear,” Mom said with the gentle authority only a mother could bring to bear. That tone hit something primal within me, and I found myself sitting down on a cushion, though it felt like I was about to leap back out of it at any second.

Dad placed one of the wine glasses in front of me before returning to the couch with glasses for himself and Mom. “Now, to answer your first question, we were waiting for the right time to discuss it. The problem is that, with how much time you spent in the castle with the princess, your studies, our own work, and then you moving to Ponyville...”

“We put it off longer than we should've,” Mom finished.

“This seems like the type of thing to get taken care of instead of delaying.” I drank from my glass, forcing back a cough. I wasn’t exactly used to alcoholic drinks, even if the wine had been watered down.

“I agree.” Mom fidgeted with her own glass before taking a sip from it. “We have no excuse for letting it wait this long. It just ... never seemed like the right time to bring it up. You were always so busy, then you seemed to be enjoying your time with your new friends, and we didn't want to spoil what time we did get to spend with you.”

My eyes drifted down to the floor, unable to look at my parents. “So you kept putting it off?”

“Yes, we did.” Mom sighed and rubbed her temple. “We kept telling ourselves that now wasn't the right time, and before we knew it you were an adult. You had moved out, made a life for yourself; saved the world and everything,”

“You want to know how I found out?” I couldn’t help but put condemnation in my tone. “I found out from some pony I met in Ponyville who said Vinyl looked exactly like a female Shining. Then she talked about all the rumors surrounding you two, and what ponies have been saying about you and Vinyl.”

Dad winced at that. “I’m sorry that’s how you learned the truth. That is not how we would've preferred for you to have learned the truth.”

“That makes three of us,” I said bitterly. While I would say my talk with Vinyl went about as well as I could have reasonably expected, it still stung that I had found out about my half-sister through other ponies.

“Yes, quite.” Dad refilled my glass, and I had to wonder when it had gotten so close to empty? Had it not been full to start with? Whatever, there were more important things to worry about. “So, I suppose I should start from the beginning.” He refilled his own glass, not bothering to water it down. “Quill and I are ... very close.”

“That kind of goes without saying when you had a foal with her,” I said scathingly. To think that for all this time I never suspected that my father had been having relations with his secretary. Had Dad been good at hiding everything, or had I really been that blind? It was all so frustrating that I wanted to scream.

“Vinyl was...” Dad shuffled in his seat. “She was not something we planned. I'm still happy to have her, of course. She’s a bright and energetic young mare who is living her dream, and I’m proud of her. And I like to think I've been good to her, within the limits of my position.” Dad drank some wine, and I got the sense he was thinking about something. “I wish I could be a proper father to her, but Quill and I have to maintain appearances. If I came out and revealed that I was Vinyl’s father, it would hurt all of us. The newspapers would have a field day. Quill might be forced to resign, and Vinyl would be the subject of a media circus.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t do that to them.”

I mulled over my glass as I thought that over. Putting aside my Dad’s relationship with Quill Scratch, what was the correct action for his situation? Keep on living a lie, protecting yourself, or tell the truth and hurt those you cared about? “So, Vinyl’s your ... other daughter?”

Dad nodded. “In a manner of speaking, yes. We have lunch now and again, not too hard to do with Quill working for me. And I make sure she’s well provided for. It’s more at a distance than I like, but we all make it work.”

After a quick sip, I asked, “How long has this been going on? I mean, Quill has been your assistant for...” I tried to think of a time when Quill hadn’t been working for Dad in some capacity, and near as I could remember, she had been by Dad’s side at least as long as I had been around. “Decades,” I settled on.

Dad brooded for so long over his drink I was worried for a few moments that he wasn’t even going to say anything. “Yes, that’s right. We met soon after I got my first job in the Canterlot Park Bureau.” A slight smile worked its way to his lips. “She, a pretty young mare pushing papers around. Me, a young noble trying to get noticed by his superiors for good work.” He blinked, seemingly realizing who his audience was and cleared his throat. “Anyways, yes, we’ve known each other for a long time. Before I met your mother, even.” He put a hoof on Mom’s and gave her a loving smile. “Not that I don’t love her very much.”

Now there was a detail that caught my attention. “Wait, you’ve been doing—that with Quill for longer than you’ve known Mom?” I had to wonder how many dynamics to this relationship I didn’t have a grasp on yet.

Dad nodded. “Yes, I became romantically involved about, oh, two to three years before I met your mother.” He chuckled to himself. “Quill has been my partner in more than one way after she started working as my administrative assistant, and she’s an invaluable part of my life. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love your mom very much too. I love both of the mares in my life, and couldn’t imagine it without it without them.”

That information put everything into a new light. Was it technically cheating when it was a situation like this? How exactly did you define a relationship that was built up like this? What was right and wrong?

“Mom, what do you think about Dad ... doing this?” I shook my head. Part of me could hardly believe that I was talking to my parents like this. I couldn’t think of a time that I’d ever confronted or even had a real argument with my parents. The whole world seemed to be spinning. For lack of a better plan, I drank some more of the wine to steady my nerves. At least I hoped it would. Everypony always said drinking alcoholic beverages helped, at least in moderation, but I didn’t know for sure.

Mom frowned, and I could sense her discomfort as she firmly put her glass down on the coffee table. “I knew the kind of stallion your father was when I married him.” She placed a hoof on Dad’s shoulder. “He's been good to me, and our children. And...” Mom’s cheeks flushed faintly. “It's ... not entirely one-sided.”

I felt something in my guts sink. Were my parents keeping other secrets? “W-what do you mean?”

Mom was silent for a time, probably thinking how best to put her words. Downing her drink, she then took a long breath before speaking. “You do remember that time you walked in on Magetrix and I ... erm ... I believe the excuse we used was that I had something in my eye?”

“Err.” I scratched at the top of my head, trying to recall the specific incident. “Vaguely. Was that when we were on vacation at Neighagara Falls? No, you two said something about it being too cold that night to sleep alone. Maybe you’re talking about that other... time...” My eyes widened as what my mother was trying to get across hit me.

Mom gripped Dad’s hoof and squeezed it. “Yes.”

A long silence stood between us until Dad finally broke it. “You see, Twilight, your mother and I have an understanding in our marriage. One that allows us to enjoy the company of others without violating the terms of our agreement.” He nuzzled Mom, comforting her. “It doesn't mean we don't love each other, and I do love my Velvet deeply, and it certainly doesn't mean we don't love our children. We just ... have other ponies we care for. Ponies we knew before we even met each other.”

I was utterly stunned by this news. Both of my parents had been conducting illicit affairs, and it was something they accepted, agreed upon. I didn’t even know how to respond to that. The worldview I had of my parents was being turned upside down. “My tutor!?” I finally managed to say. I tipped back my glass in a shaky grasp and emptied my drink, coughing when it stung my throat on the way down. That was something I really wasn’t used to doing, and I felt it.

“We were partners in the Magus Corps,” Mom said calmly “We came to be friends and lovers. I've known her longer than I've known your father.”

“So you two have been ... doing ... this ever since you met each other?” I offered my glass to be filled again, it being empty again.

Dad filled my glass up. “Yes. It's been a very happy, stable, loving relationship.”

Mom nuzzled her husband. “If a bit unconventional. Especially by Canterlot standards. But it has stood the test of time.”

I covered my face with my hooves. “I just can't believe this. It’s so ... bizarre.”

Moving over to sit by me, Mom put a hoof on my shoulder. “Everything is fine, dear. I know this is a lot for you to digest, but we’re all happy. Trust us. None of this changes anything. We are still your parents, and we still care for each other and for you.”

I clutched a pillow closely to my chest. “I never knew anything about any of this! The fact you didn’t tell me about this tells me something is wrong. I don't even know what to make of all this. Dad's sleeping with his secretary. Mom's sleeping with my old tutor. I have a half-sister.” I shook my head. “Is there anything else I should know about while we’re at it?”

Mom cast her eyes away from me and towards the floor. “There is one other thing, but perhaps it would be best if we give you a little time to absorb all of this. You've already had a lot to take in, and I don't want to overwhelm you. It’s late, and we’ve all had a little bit to drink, and it can wait until the morning.”

I shook my head. “At this point I think you might as well lay it on me. I don't think I could get any more overwhelmed than I already am.”

My parents exchanged a look between them. Something seemed to pass between them before Dad gave Mom a nod. “Alright then, ” Mom said, taking a deep breath. She turned to face me squarely, grasping one of my hooves. “Twilight, Amethyst isn't dead, I gave her up for adoption.”

I just stared at my parents, not quite understanding what I had heard.

“Twilight?” Mom asked, sounding worried.

I downed my drink, needing something to jumpstart my brain, and the wine burning down my throat worked in a pinch. “I'm sorry, could you run that by me again? Because what I just heard didn't make sense.”

Mom’s ears wilted. “Amethyst ... was not your father's child. We didn't realize that until she was born, and by that point it was too late to keep things quiet. Your father and I were weeks away from securing the Viziership, but a scandal would've destroyed everything we'd worked for. So we made a choice. One I'm not proud of, and one I wish I could take back.”

A storm of emotions ran through me—disbelief, anger, confusion, pain. All this time I had believed my sister had been stillborn, and it had been a lie. What the hay were my parents thinking? “S-she was my sister! You lied to me! Lied to me, gave up my sister over ... politics!?”

My parents didn’t answer me. Mom couldn’t even look at me, probably too ashamed by the horrid thing she had done. Dad, Dad had the audacity to try and comfort her as he drew her into a hug.

I poured myself another glass. After what I had just heard, I needed it. “W-where is she? I want to see her.” My little sister was out there somewhere. The sister I had thought dead for all these years. Everything was moving so quickly, but meeting my long lost sister was something rock-solid I could grasp onto in this storm.

Mom’s eyes did not come up from the floor. “We don't know. We arranged for a nice old mare who'd always wanted a child to take care of her, a foster home. We even gave her enough money to make sure that Amethyst would be well taken care of. But after her caretaker died...”

It was simple enough to figure out the implications of the words left unsaid. “How could you just lose track of her!? She’s your daughter!”

My words caused Mom to flinch. “I'm not all-knowing, Twilight.”

“And there was only so much we could do to look for her without arousing suspicion,” Dad said.

Mom leaned against Dad for support. “I’d made a mistake, I knew that as soon as I gave her up. And it’s a mistake I’ll probably never forgive myself for. I’m not asking you to forgive me, honey, and I understand if you want to be mad. You have every right to be.”

I was so furious I could barely concentrate on maintaining my telekinesis over my glass. “So, was this another one of those things you intended on telling me ‘someday’?”

Mom gave me an ashamed nod.

“I don't believe this. I don't believe you would do something like this. This is absolutely horrible.” I sipped from my cup, finding it nearly empty again. What was that? Three, three and a half glasses? I had lost track during the conversation.

“We were much younger, and less wise,” Mom said. “Every day, I wish I could take it back.” Her shoulders slumped, my Mom looking far older and wearier than I had ever seen her. “But I can't... All I can do is hope that wherever she is, she's happy.”

“I hope so too.” My throat tightened, and I had to fight back the tears welling up.

Mom moved to hug me, but I held up my hooves to stop her. I couldn’t accept her embracing me. Not after what she had told me. My rejection was apparently the last straw for my mom, for tears started rolling down her face.

Endless night, the sight of my mom crying caused me to lose my own control, and my own eyes began stinging with tears. “I'm not sure I really know you two anymore. Not after learning about all of this.”

Mom flinched as though I had slapped her and pushed her face into Dad’s shoulder, sobbing.

Dad held her, stroking her mane as he spoke to me. “Twilight, we're still your parents. That hasn't changed, and it never will.”

“Right, and great parents you two have been. I've had two sisters out there I didn't even know about because you two couldn’t be bothered to tell me until I confronted you about it.” I covered my face, unable to even look at my parents. My words slurred out of my mouth, without any thought put into them. “Well, Shining might have an illegitimate child too, so I guess you set a great example for both of us.”

Dad jaw opened and closed, but it took a few moments for him to say anything comprehensible. “What? Wait, hold on there.”

“No!” I stood up, the sudden movement causing the world to jerk for a second, but I got my hooves under me. “I’m going! I-I need space right now.”

Mom reached out a hoof to me. “Twilight, please don't go. We need to—”

I didn’t wait for her to finish as I teleported out of the manor.

There was no plan when I left Sparkle Manor. All I had was an overwhelming need to leave that place and put some distance between me and my parents. Something in my brain must have had an idea of what it was doing, because before I knew it, I found myself in front of the palace. Figures, there weren’t exactly a lot of places I could just up and run to. Heading to the palace and seeing Princess Celestia was as good as it got. A talk with somepony who might be able to figure out how to deal with everything that had been tossed on top of me sounded really nice.

I walked into the palace; none of the guards stopped me, as usual. I pretty much had unrestricted access to get into the palace due to being the princess’s personal student. Though as I started wandering the palace halls, I realized that my half-baked plan probably wasn’t such a great idea. It had been a really long day already. Well, it was night now. Anyways, I was far from looking at my best now, which wouldn’t be suitable for seeing the princess.

Then there was the fact that I’d had a fair bit of wine back at the manor while talking with my parents. I was pretty sure I was at least tipsy now, something that had probably been exacerbated by how tired I now felt from the long day and run to the palace.

Oh no, I couldn’t go see Princess Celestia while drunk! What would she think of me if she saw that I was intoxicated? Upon reflection, I had probably drunk enough to be breaking the law. I didn’t want to go to jail for being drunk! That would go on my record, and then my family and Princess Celestia would find out! It would be in the newspapers and everything! Then the princess would have to throw me in jail again to show she didn’t grant exemptions even to her personal students!

I needed to get out of the palace! I didn’t know where, but someplace else.

I turned to flee, but, as was my luck this day, I hit something solid and stumbled back. I looked up to see Princess Celestia looking down at me. Of course I would run into the princess like this. Why wouldn’t the universe decide to kick me while I was down? Not like it hadn’t in the past.

Princess Celestia smiled down at me. “Hello, Twilight. I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight.”

I bowed quickly to her, though the motion felt klutzy. Probably due to the wine I drank. “I'm so sorry!” I blurted out, my words sounding slightly slurred. “I didn't mean to bother you! I'll go. Just a dumb idea to come here. I wasn't thinking. Sorry!”

One of her eyebrows rose in a dignified manner. “Is everything alright, Twilight?”

“No! Yes! Yes in some, no in others! It's complicated.” I let out a nervous chuckle, because I didn’t sound guilty enough, apparently. Of course, my mouth kept running as I tried to reassure the princess. “I'll take care of it, really. No need to throw me into a dungeon for all of eternity, or bring one of Equestria's diarchs into a little family argument that made me panic and run here without thinking because I had a few glasses to drink. Because I wasn't thinking about how much I had to drink, because I was arguing with my parents, you see. And I'm just not used to arguing with my parents and haven't read any books on that. So I wasn't really sure how to handle that. So I think I might have drank too much, but I don't want to be arrested and thrown into a dungeon or banished to the moon because I was having an argument and drank too much!”

“Calm down, Twilight,” Princess Celestia said with gentle patience. “I am not going to banish or imprison you.”

“That doesn't mean you're going to banish and imprison me, are you!?” My breaths started coming quick and shallow.

“No, Twilight,” the princess said firmly. She put a hoof on my shoulder, and I felt my breathing start to slow. Her calm strength of her presence washed over me and gave me a reassurance that everything was going to be okay. “Twilight, is there something you would like to talk about?”

“Well, that depends on how you define 'want'.” Princess Celestia gave me a warm, understanding smile that encouraged me to keep speaking. “It's complicated.” I rubbed my foreleg, feeling vulnerable under her stare, no matter how caring and understanding she looked. “I don't want to bother you with it. I just ran here in a panic. I wasn't thinking.”

“Twilight, if something is troubling you, then the best way to bother me is to not let me help you.” She wrapped a wing around me and gently pulled me along. “Come, let's talk in my quarters.”

I couldn’t really argue with her logic. I knew that if any of my friends were really bothered by something I would want them to talk to me about it, not just bottle it up and stonewall me. “I-If it's really okay...”

“I have already said that it is, Twilight.” Princess Celestia led me down the hallway  to her private quarters. “Now, you said you've been drinking?” She gave me a critical look. “You don't seem impaired enough to need an inhibitor ring, and you'll be safe with me.”

“Okay.” My ears drooped back against my head. “I didn't mean to drink so much. One watered down glass became two, and then I think I had a third or fourth.” My head slumped. “I normally have a lot more control than this.”

“I know,” she said. “It sounds like you've been through a very difficult day.”

“That's putting it mildly,” I said grumpily.

We arrived at the princess’ private quarters. She opened the door and ushered me in. Her rooms weren’t as richly decorated with gems and gold as some ponies might expect. Knowing from personal experience, the furniture was of a high quality and made for comfort instead of extravagance. The princess didn’t really feel the need to impress ponies who visited her private sanctum.

Princess Celestia led me to a very large cushion at the center of her living room. She sat on it and patted a spot next to her for me to sit. “Tell me about it. It will make you feel better.”

I sat next to her. Being with her always made me more comfortable, even if the topic of this conversation didn’t. “I'm not sure where to even start. It's all so big, and troubling, and complex, I'm not sure quite where it starts and ends.”

“Then start at the beginning,” she offered. “I believe you mentioned a disagreement with your parents?”

I shuffled in my seat, now profoundly uncomfortable. I did need to talk to somepony about my problems. Who better than my teacher and mentor? “Yeah, I did. It was about a couple of things. Have you heard ... of the rumors surrounding my parents?”

“I'm aware of their lifestyle, if that is what you mean,” Princess Celestia confirmed.

That answer made me swallow nervously. Had I really been the last one in Canterlot to know the truth? “So you know about Dad and Quill, and Mom and Magetrix?”

“I do.” She wrapped a wing around me to give me support. “Is that why you are upset with them?”

“That's only the start of it.” I took a couple of seconds to form my thoughts. “I had no idea they were doing that, for all these years, right under my nose. It really hurt. And I feel stupid for not seeing something that should have been obvious. Thinking back, I don’t think they were even trying that hard to hide it from me.”

“You feel betrayed by the deception, even if it was an unintentional one. That is understandable.” The princess gave me a serious look. “But you cannot expect to see and know everything, Twilight. You were a very busy, very studious filly who believed certain things about her parents. It’s not surprising you missed a few things.”

“But I should have seen this.” I punched one of the cushion pillows out of frustration. It wasn’t very mature, but better some object than an actual pony or something that might break. “They're my parents. Stars and Moon, I caught Mom and my tutor in bed with each other a couple times, and I still didn’t realize something might be wrong!”

“Oh dear.” She squeezed me with her wing. “That must have been awkward.”

“Probably for them, but I didn't think anything of it.” I suddenly felt very weary and slowly lowered myself to lie on the cushion.  “Because I couldn't imagine my parents doing something like that. My parents always seemed so happy together, and faithful, and what I thought of for a nice, stable couple.”

“Ah.” Princess Celestia nodded. “It must be upsetting, to have your image of them so badly shaken. But I hope you know that they still care very much about you. I know for a fact that they think the world of you and are very proud of you.”

I felt myself stiffen at that comment. “Yeah, I guess.”

The barest frown of disapproval creased her lips. “You guess?”

I shook my head. “Okay, yes, I know. I'm just not happy right now. Which only makes everything worse. They’re still my parents. I know they love me. Which only makes everything more confusing and aggravating.” I pressed my face into one of the pillows and groaned into it.

“Because even though you love them and they love you, you are quite upset with them right now.” She laid down next to me to better comfort me. “They violated your trust, and you feel hurt by it.”

“Yeah.” I rubbed at my foreleg. “I'm not used to this. I mean sure, I was never happy when they punished me for doing something bad, or didn’t let me stay up to read a book. But this feels completely different. I didn't even find out about this on my own. Another pony in Ponyville told me; said that she knew a pony who looked just like Shiny.”

“Oh.” She wrapped a leg around me for a hug. “They should have told you.”

“Should have, but didn't.” My eyes started stinging as tears began to form. “I had no idea I had a half-sister out there.”

Princess Celestia gently shushed me as she held onto me. “It's alright to cry, Twilight. You’re hurting right now, and that’s perfectly understandable. And I’m here for you.”

I buried my face into her coat, staining it with my tears. “That's not even the worst of it.”

“Oh dear.” There was a moment where she didn’t speak. Then she let out a resigned sigh. “They told you about Amethyst, didn't they?”

I blinked, and the shock of what the princess had said stopped my tears. “You knew!?” Was everypony I trusted and loved keeping secrets and lying to me? It seemed like everywhere I turned there were more ponies betraying me. I thought that of all the ponies I could trust, it would be Princess Celestia, but even she had helped keep my parents’ secrets. She had to know what these types of things would mean to me. Why—why would she do this to me?

“Yes, I knew” she said with a gentle firmness.

I lay there slackjawed, unable to believe that my teacher had known this entire time and hadn’t told me. “W-why didn't you tell me!? Why didn't anypony tell me!? She's my sister!”

With a long sigh, Princess Celestia looked away from me and stared off at nothing. “The last time I became too involved in my student's personal life, it ended very badly. It’s always a delicate balance deciding where I should and shouldn’t interfere. I believe that my little ponies must make some decisions for themselves. Unfortunately, sometimes that means I need to allow them to make mistakes. Occasionally, grievous ones. I am sorry that my decision, and your parents’, caused you so much pain, Twilight.”

I wrapped my forelegs around a pillow trying to find some sort of comfort in a world gone mad. “All this time. All this time...”

The princess tipped my chin up to look at her. “Twilight, please listen to me. I promise you that Amethyst is very happy right now. She has a nice home, friends, and a family who love her very much.”

The full implications of her words pressed down on me, and my eyes widened. “Where is she? I want to see her.” If my teacher knew that much about her, then surely she knew where Amethyst was. I could see my sister and make everything better! Somehow!

“I don't think that would be a very good idea right now.” She gently patted my foreleg. “You're still very upset and emotional.”

“S-so?” I stood up, ready to go right then and there. “She's my sister. She’s out there and alive, and I never knew it. How can I not go see her?”

Princess Celestia spoke in a soothing tone. “I know. I just think you shouldn't meet her for the first time while highly emotional and, if you'll forgive me for saying so, rather tipsy. And it’s already been a long night for you. When you see your sister, it should be when you’re ready for it. She deserves to have you be at your best when you talk to her about everything.”

I glanced into a nearby mirror and got a look at my disheveled mane. My run through Canterlot must really have done a number of me. “Oh...” I sat down, defeated. “It wouldn't look good for me to arrive at her home in the middle of the night looking like this, would it?”

“No, it wouldn't.” She gingerly pressed down on my shoulders. “I think you can afford to wait until you can make a good impression.”

“So tomorrow then,” I said.

“When you’re ready,” Princess Celestia said more firmly in the tone she gave government officials when she wanted something done at a specific time.

I frowned. “Are you saying I'm not going to be ready tomorrow?”

“I don't know,” she said neutrally. “Will you be ready, or will you still be extremely upset at your parents and your family situation in general?”

I dropped my head down to the cushion, despondent. “I'll probably still be upset.”

My teacher nodded. “These sorts of events are not easily moved past.”

“No, they aren't,” I admitted. “I can hardly even think straight right now.” Not to mention my head still swam a bit from drinking. I was never going to do that again.

“Which is no state to meet your sister in.” The princess levitated over a piece of paper and jotted down something onto it. From there, she slid it into an envelope and then held it before me. “I trust your judgment, Twilight. Open it when the time is right.”

I carefully took the envelope and stared at it. There it was, all the information that I would need to find my sister. Everything I would need to set everything right. “How will I know when the time is right?”

She gave me a knowing smile. “Trust your heart and mind, Twilight. They have always served you well.”

“Okay...” Sometimes I wondered if there was ever a point in asking ancient beings of great knowledge and power for a straight answer. It’s like there’s some cosmic rule against being directly helpful. “Ugh! I came to Canterlot to relax, and now this!”

“I am sorry, Twilight,” Princess Celestia said. “You're welcome to stay at the palace for a few days, if you need to. Your old room is just how you left it.”

“Thanks.” I rubbed my muzzle against hers. “I don't think I'm going to be ready to see my parents again for a while.”

She returned the nuzzle, but I detected a hint of hesitation in it. “Twilight, don't use me to hide from confronting your parents. They’ve made their mistakes, but I don’t think it would be wise for you to try and cut them out of your life. It wouldn’t make anypony happy.”

“What should I do?” I sighed and put the envelope down next to me. “Run right back to the manor to yell at them some more? Sorry, but I think I’ve had enough of that for one night.”

“Of course not,” my teacher said. “But don't let things go too long. They're still your family, and they love you very much. I don't want you to—” She cut herself off, the thought suddenly ending.

“To what?” I asked.

The princess let out a deep breath. She had a look about her that I had rarely seen in the ruler of Equestria. She seemed haunted, with weariness that was bone deep finally showing itself. “I just don't want things between you and your family to remain troubled for too long. These things have a way of festering over time, creating nothing but pain.”

“You’re probably right.” I looked down, playing with the envelope. “I think I'm just going to need some space from them. Give myself some time to think things over.” With how emotionally drained I was, it felt like I could have slept for a half a week and still feel tired.

“Understandable,” the princess said. “I’m sure you will do the right thing. I believe in you.”

“Thanks.” The stress of the whole situation was building up to the point where I had to remind myself not to accidentally rip the envelope. “Is anything my parents did really okay?”

“What they do in their romantic lives?” She nodded “Yes. But deceiving you about it was not.”

“What am I supposed to think about it all, then?” Of the things I had heard about thus far today, my parents’ romantic lives were probably the easiest to swallow, though it was still a lot to take in.

Spreading a wing across my back, she said, “That is something you will have to decide for yourself.”

“Of course,” I grumbled. “It's just that it’s all so much more complex than I originally realized. Every conversation just seems to reveal another layer to the onion.”

“Life is usually like that,” Princess Celestia said. “If anything, life is good at throwing the unexpected at us.”

Silence lay between us for a time. That let me think about my argument with my parents and what we had said to each other. “I said at least one thing I probably shouldn't have,” I said, finally breaking the silence.

“Ponies usually do when they're upset,” she assured me. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Reluctantly, I nodded. “I told them that they were such 'great' examples for Shiny that he might have had his own illegitimate child. I really don't know for sure. It's probably not true. But I was just so angry at them...”

“That you wanted to say something to hurt them as much as you were hurt.” Princess Celestia didn’t say it with outright disapproval, but rather with understanding. That only made me feel all the more guilty—that she could understand how fallible I had been.

“It was stupid of me,” I stated.

“But understandable.”

“No, it wasn't.” I stomped a hoof, the impact of it muffled by the cushion, making me feel all the more impotent in my frustration. “I hurt them just to hurt them. That isn't right.”

“Indeed, it isn't,” she said firmly. “But I said it was understandable. Not right.”

My head slumped. “And I'm going to have to explain myself sooner or later.” Part of me wanted to ask Princess Celestia if Shiny really was Dinky’s father, but something in me knew she would give some sort of vague answer like ‘you have it within you to figure it out’ or give me vague instructions on what to do.

My teacher nodded. “Yes, you will.”

I sighed frustratingly. “That's going to be fun. I swear, romance and sex can't be worth all this trouble.”

“Oh?” she asked.

“Look at all the trouble it's caused in my family,” I stated. “My parents deceived me, my brother might have a daughter he doesn't know about. Just everything.”

The princess considered that before saying, “Yet without it, you wouldn't exist.”

Okay, that was a fact that I couldn’t disagree with. Love, sex, and reproduction were pretty closely tied to one another. “I guess that's true.”

“Relationships are just another part of life, Twilight,” the princess said. “And often an important one. While they’re not for everypony, finding love has brought immeasurable happiness to others.”

“Sounded a lot simpler when I was just going to have an arranged marriage someday.” I lay my head down on the cushion, feeling like I could go to sleep right then and there. It would have felt good to put this awful night behind me.
 
Princess Celestia smiled with a touch of amusement. “Freedom to make your own choices can be rather frightening, can't it?”

I slowly nodded. “Little bit. I've never really thought about any of this before.”

“Never?” she asked.

“Not really, no.” I picked my head back up from the cushion. Falling asleep while having a conversation with the princess would have been exceptionally rude. “I thought my path was pretty well set where that was concerned. I mean, my parents reassure me that they will do everything to make sure I will be happy, but I’ve always grown up thinking that everything would be arranged for me. The idea I might have some choice in how I was going to decide on my love life...”

The princess nodded. “Ah. In that case, it would be rather frightening. Going from a certain future to an uncertain one would cause most ponies to feel trepidation. Especially as one learns new things.”

“No kidding. I mean there is this mare in Ponyville who...” I felt myself blushing as memories of Cloud Kicker rushed forward. “Nevermind. I don’t want to bother you about it.”

She gave me a reassuring smile. “You can tell me, Twilight. You know I’ve always been willing to listen to anything you’ve wanted to talk to me about. I'm your teacher. I like to think I'm also your friend. If something's bothering you, I care.”

I found myself wringing my forehooves. This was not a topic I particularly wanted to discuss. “Her name is Cloud Kicker. She is different from what I'm used to.”

“Oh yes, Cloud Kicker,” Princess Celestia said.

I tilted my head. “You know her?”

“I know all of my little ponies,” she said beatifically.

Right, another example of the princess’s mysterious powers. It was something of no small interest to academics, though Her Highness had always managed to keep it a secret, at least as far as I know. My family’s personal archive had more than a few writings involving suppositions on the nature and limits of her abilities. Though it was mostly guesswork from private recollections, and what ponies that had worked closely with her had observed.

“So you know what she is like?” I asked.

“Yes, I do.”

“So I don't really understand her.” I let out a long, frustrated sigh. “She's so upfront and provocative about sex, and I've barely given it a thought. And that’s just one difference between us, if a big one.”

“Everypony is different, Twilight,” said Princess Celestia, taking on a tone typical for when she taught her lessons.

“I know that.” I gathered my thoughts to put my feelings into words. “But something about her bothers me. At first I thought it was just because she can be pretty crass, but now... I don't know.”

“You're less certain?” she asked.

I nodded, the familiar cadence of her lessons reassuring me. “Sometimes she seems intelligent, but then other times she does something stupid. I've heard ponies say there's more to her than having sex, but it seems to be a predominant part of her life, so I don't know what to think.”

The princess gave me one of those long, impenetrable stares of hers before asking, “You are an intelligent pony, right? One who loves books and studying?”

“That seems accurate,” I allowed.

The corner of her mouth quirked with a smile. “Does that mean you never do anything stupid, and that books are the only thing in your life?”

“I've made a few mistakes in the past.” The incident with the want it, need it spell came to mind all too clearly. “But I do like to think I'm a more rounded pony since coming to Ponyville and making my friends there...”

“That you are.” Princess Celestia gently squeezed me with her wing. “And I’m very proud of your success thus far.”

Her praise caused me to smile. Her approval could keep me going through anything, I thought. Though I needed to keep myself from going off track, as much as I would have liked to bask in her praise. “I guess I've been trying to figure out what to do with her. I could either just finish up the project and turn it in as quickly as I can, or trying keep at it and really try to get Cloud Kicker.”

“She weighs heavily on your mind, then?” she asked.

“Little bit, since I have this project on my plate,” I said. “You know I have trouble just giving up on something. I've been trying to do this sociology project on her, but it feels like it’s been giving me nothing but trouble. There are a bunch of questions I’m having trouble answering, and Cloud is an enigma to me.”

“Ah.” The princess’s gaze turned to one of her living quarter’s windows, though I couldn’t tell what she might be looking at other than the night sky. “She is a very different pony from you.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” I scoffed.

“Then I think this will be a valuable learning experience.” Princess Celestia grinned at the confused look I gave her. “For you, understanding many different kinds of ponies is worthwhile. I have tasked you with learning about friendship, and while I don’t expect you to make friends with everypony you meet, at least understanding them is a worthwhile venture, even if you might initially find unsavory.”

“So you want me to keep learning about her?” I asked.

“Do you think there is more to learn?”

That was one important question, and one I had to be honest with Her Highness over. “Given I still don't really understand her...”

“Then there is still more to learn.” She smiled and prodded my shoulder. “Do not be glum. I think part of your problem is that you aren’t approaching this like you do most of your assignments. Remember, you have more than a little bit of say in how this project goes. Treat it as an opportunity to learn rather than a chore, like you do with most of the assignments I give you.”

“I’ll try and do that.” I sighed. “At least she's promised to stop hitting on me. Though I know she'll be thinking about ... those types of things. Just seems to be who she is.”

“Everypony has their quirks.” Princess Celestia stood up from the cushion, stretching her wings. “For instance, just now I thought of chocolate cake. Shall we have some?”

I couldn’t help but smile. The princess’ love for cake was pretty well known. “That would be nice.” After everything I had gone through, some comfort food did sound really good.

Princess Celestia went to the door and spoke briefly with a servant waiting outside. Within a few minutes the servant returned with two slices of chocolate cake. Taking both of the plates, the princess rested one of the plates in front of me. “There, enjoy.”

“Thanks.” I took a piece with a fork. “Maybe this will make me feel a bit better.”

“Cake often has that effect.” We each took our time, enjoying each other’s company and the taste of the desert. “Do you feel better now?”

I finished chewing before replying. “I do, yeah. A little, anyways. Thanks for listening to me, by the way. This was a lot for me to dump on you.”

“Anytime, my faithful student,” she said. “You know you can talk to me about anything.”

I nuzzled her. “You're the best teacher ever.”

She returned my nuzzle with her own. “Thank you, Twilight. You have been a wonderful student.”

The compliment caused me to smile ear to ear. “Don't know what I would do without you. I mean you're just so wonderful, and perfect...” I felt my face start to flush. It felt really nice being warm under her wing. It was moments like this that made me feel so lucky to be her student.

The princess smiled back. “You're too kind.”

“I don't think so. I mean...” My cheeks burned all the hotter as I thought about my teacher. “I did have little bit of a crush on you. A long time ago. Just a small one. Hardly worth mentioning. It was a dumb filly thing. Really.” I chuckled awkwardly, feeling like I really should stop talking. Shame the words kept rolling out of my mouth, seemingly of their own accord. “I mean it would be dumb, right? Surely I couldn't be the first pony to have feelings towards a mare who defines beauty for so many ponies. Even though I should be over something as silly as thinking anything could ever happen between us, because that would be silly. Fillyhood crushes are silly, right? And dumb, because you're the princess of Equestria and I'm just some unicorn who should know better. I'm sure any feelings I have are just a result of long term close contact, and may be a side effect of me denying any kind of sexual desires towards any other ponies due to thinking I have no real romantic prospects other than a list of suitors my parents will give me someday. So really, I'm just being silly right now and should probably really shut up!”

Giving me a concerned look. “Twilight...”

I chuckled again, feeling terribly embarrassed. “It's fine! Really! I've certainly never had serious romantic thoughts or fantasies about you that are wholly unrealistic and should never be acted upon! Because that would be monumentally stupid on my part! And improper, and stupid, and dumb. And I really wish I could shut up right now, but I think the wine has impaired my judgement and ability to shut up, but it's really hard for me not to say that I love you!” I covered my stupid, traitorous mouth. I really shouldn’t have uncovered it to start with.

“Twilight, I'm flattered that you feel that way about me, but...” She seemed to struggle with what to say. “I care deeply for you as my student. Nothing more.”

Her words crushed something in me. Objectively, I knew it had to be that way. She was the ruler of Equestria and an immortal alicorn. There was no way a relationship between us could work. For one thing, How could we ever be equal partners? Though if that was all true, why did it still hurt? “Right, of course. Like I said, I was being dumb. Please, forget it. It's just a stupid fillyhood crush!” I rubbed at one of my eyes.

“There is nothing stupid about loving another pony, Twilight,” my teacher said reassuringly. “I think your old foalsitter would tell you that love is always a beautiful thing. Even if in this particular case I cannot return you feelings, I am still touched you feel that way about me.”

“How can it be beautiful if it's unrequited!?” I stood up and hopped off the cushion. Everything was falling apart again, why did it have to feel like it was all coming apart at the seams? “All I'm doing is setting myself up to get hurt for nothing! Not to mention putting you into an awkward situation. That seems pretty stupid to me.”

The princess rose a hoof to bid me to stop. “Twilight, please...”

“Sorry! Sorry! I'll shut up!” I backed up towards the door, feeling the desperate need to flee. “I'll go. I'm sorry for this. This is all my fault. I should have known better than to bring this up. Especially after drinking, and yelling at my parents, and everything.”

“There is nothing to apologize for, Twilight.” Something flashed behind her eyes as she stared after me. “I suppose we should have had this talk a long time ago.”

“Nothing to talk about! Just me thinking something stupid!” I reached the door and fumbled with the doorknob. It was difficult to see with blurry vision. “One. Big. Misunderstanding. It won't happen again, I promise.”

“Twilight, please stay,” she said, desperation undermarking her words.

“What for? There isn't anything to talk about.” My chest felt too tight, just being there in front of my perfect and wonderful teacher was too much. “I'm just unloading a bunch of problems onto you that you don't really need to have dumped on you. I'm sure you have plenty of your own problems to worry about.” My eyes were so filled with tears that it was almost impossible for me to even see. “Don’t worry, I’m totally not crying because you turned down my dumb fillyhood crush exactly like you should have. I-I have something in my eye. Or it’s the wine. Probably both.”

“I still want to help you.” Princess Celestia gestured to the spot next to her, inviting me to sit. “Please, we need to talk about this.”

I ran.