//------------------------------//
// Chapter 3 
// Story: Escape From Equestria 
// by HunterBraxton 
//------------------------------//


Escape From Equestria
Chapter 3

“…Rainbow has told us so many good things about you.” I said to the purple, horrified looking princess in front of me.
She slowly moved her eyes to look at us, not her head, just her eyes; slowly. Both Brian and I had the biggest most welcoming smiles we could muster. However, our efforts were fruitless. “I know that we aren’t supposed to exist, and I know that these legends about us don’t really give us a good name, but let’s sit down and settle this like civil adults and I’m sure we can come to some sort of understanding.”
Twilight still did not respond, at all. I looked at her for a second and watched another fly enter her mouth. “Rainbow, I think we broke her.”
“Twilight, these guys need help. They got dumped here from another world, and can’t get back. They really don’t mean any harm, although they do make dirty jokes, and mention weird places where even weirder things happened.” 
“Hey, Brian?”
“Yeah?”
“You know where this place reminds me of?”
“Where?”
“That little town in Albania where we ran into that travelling group of belly-dancing gypsies.”
“Oh my god, you’re right. That place was fucking horrible.”
“Yes it was. Yes it was.”
“Are you two done?”
Brian and I looked at Rainbow, then at each other, then back to Rainbow. “Yeah.” We said in unison.
“So, are you going to help them out or not?” She said to the purple princess who had finally shook herself out her shock.
“Uh, yeah. C-come right t-this way.”
I couldn’t help but feel rather nervous walking in with her. Brian once again got my attention, we both looked at each other with a cocked eyebrow. We both knew something wasn’t right. Both of us had had this feeling many times before. Someone was going to need rescuing, someone was going to break down a door, and a lot of people, or in this case ponies, were going to get shot. As we walked in the foyer I took note of the four guards in the four corners of the room. They were all a solid white with a blue tail, I assumed they also had blue manes, I couldn’t tell because they were all wearing gold armor which had a helmet that almost entirely covered their faces. Each one was carrying what appeared to be an M16 assault rifle, except these didn’t have a magazine on them, what they had instead was a round purple orb in the receiver where the ejection bolt was supposed to be. The rifles were also for the most part gold. The stock, grip, and hand guard were black, and probably made from polymer. Directly across the room from the door was a grand staircase that went up one flight before splitting off to the left and right. Twilight led us up and to the right then down a corridor that curved to the left as though it circled around the outside of the castle. No one was saying anything and it started to get awkward. “Hey, Princess Twilight? What’s up with the wings and horns and neithers and what-not?”
“Well, there’s four types of ponies, unicorns, pegasi, earth ponies, and alicorns. Unicorns have horns and can use magic. Pegasi, like Rainbow Dash here, can fly, walk on clouds, and augment the weather. Earth ponies don’t have either, however they are physically stronger and are very good with crops. Then there are alicorns like myself that are gifted in all three areas, but our abilities are much stronger. Does that answer your question?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
I looked at Brian for a second to make sure he got it too, he gave me simple nod to show he got it. As we were walking along we passed by a pair of guards. They were guarding a heavy metal door with a sigh on it that read “Armory.” I took note of this location and started paying more attention to where we were and where the guards were. I noticed that there weren’t very many guards around, we only passed a couple walking the opposite way from us. After a minute or two of walking Twilight came to a door and opened it with her magic. “Here we are.”
As soon as she said that a weird tingling feeling took over my body. I tried to move forward but I couldn’t. I turned to look at Brian and he was having trouble too. Then I noticed that we were both encased in the same purple glow as Twilight’s horn. Oh shit. I thought as we were lifted off the floor, levitated over to the door, and thrown in. I was slammed into the wall and Brian impacted on the floor and rolled a couple of feet. “Twilight, what the buck was that for?!” I could hear Rainbow yell out as I painfully picked myself up.
“Sorry, Rainbow, but these two are too dangerous. I have to report this to Princess Celestia.” She said as she briskly walked off.
“Oh my gosh, guys, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know she’d do that.” Rainbow said through a small window in the door.
“It’s fine,” I said, “Just go talk some sense into her.”  
“Okay, be right back” Then she ran off, hopefully she would get us out of here.
“We’ll be right here.”
“Smartass.” Brian said to me, now sitting upright on the floor.
“This… is a problem.”
“No shit.” He replied sarcastically.
“We need to get out of here.” I said, walking over to a window near the corner of the cell that was made from crystal bars. I inspected the bars, the whole place appeared to be made of quartz, and the bars weren’t that thick. I remembered some “equipment” that I had stashed in the truck. “And I think I know just how.”
“How are we gonna do that, wise guy?”
“Shut up bitch, I’m calling Mack.” I said as I pulled my hidden radio out. “This is Ron Jeremy to Millimeter Peter. Millimeter Peter do you copy? Over.”
“Cain, are you calling yourself Ron Jeremy?” His voice crackled through the radio.
“Yes, Millimeter Peter, that’s my designate. Over.”
“…”
“Millimeter Peter? How copy?”
“Stop calling me that.” 
“Asian Noodle?”
“No.”
“Shrinked Dink?”
“Cain, stop your shit!”
“Alright, fine, damn, Twilight locked us in her rape dungeon. Rainbow is still free though, if she can get back to us I’m going to send her to you. If not, hopefully she’ll go to you anyway. Now, when she finds you, I want you to look in the bed box, there’s a plastic hard case in the bottom. I want you to give it to her along with some duct tape and a lighter, and tell her to bring it to us. Then you’re going to get here as fast as possible. Okay?”
“What’s in it?”
“Umm… That’s not important right now. However, what is important is that you don’t try to contact us until I give the all clear. Got it?”
“Yeah.”
“Alright, I’ll radio you in a little bit.”
“What do we do now?” Brian asks, standing next to me gazing out the window.
“We wait, and plan.”
“What’s in the box?”
“A penis.”
“…Really?”
“No, it contains a couple sticks of dynamite.”
“Seriously?”
“Yup.”
“Damn.”
We stood there for a minute looking out the window and at the forest where Mack lie in wait for his moment to strike. “My mom must be devastated right now. You don’t know this, Mack does, but I used to have an older brother. His name was William Cain, disappeared thirteen years ago, one week before… his… graduation… just… like us. Huh.”
“That’s awfully weird.” Brian says to me, scrunching his brow a little.
“Yeah. I wonder how Rainbow’s doing right now.”

Meanwhile in Twilights throne room.

“Twilight, let them out.” Rainbow says to her best friend.
“I’m sorry, Rainbow, but you know the legends of humans. SPIKE!”
As soon as she called for him, Spike, her dragon assistant/little brother came into the throne room. He was almost six feet tall, about the same height as Cain, He was wearing blue jeans with a green t-shirt and a purple hoodie. “Yes, Twilight?” 
“I need you to send a letter to Princess Celestia.”
He reached behind him and pulled out a scroll and quill seemingly out of nowhere. “Sure thing, Twilight.”
“Twilight do you really need to get Celestia involved?” Rainbow said, still trying to get her to help the humans.
“Yes, Rainbow, I do. I don’t think I have enough experience as a princess to make a judgment on this on my own. Spike, you ready?”
“Ready.” The dragon said, quill poised on the paper, ready to write.
“Dear Princess Celestia, Rainbow Dash has brought two humans in need to me. Yes, humans. I have locked them away for the time being. I don’t feel comfortable making a judgment on this on my own. Some words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Sincerely, Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
“…Done.” Spike rolled the scroll up before taking a deep breath and releasing some of his magic fire. The scroll burned to ashes in an instant and then whisked out a window and off to Canterlot.
“Good.” Twilight said, satisfied with herself. “Now we just have to wait for her to reply.”
As soon as this came out of her mouth the throne room was engulfed in a bright white light. When it had dissipated Celestia in all her glory was standing there with a platoon of guards right behind her. She was at least seven feet tall, and was wearing a flowing white gown. “Twilight. Where are the humans.”
“Locked away.” Twilight says to old mentor.
“Celestia, let the humans go.” Rainbow commanded to the solar princess.
All she got was a ‘the fuck you say, bitch,’ look from Celestia. “Twilight, I want those humans executed.”
“What?!” Spike, Rainbow, and Twilight exclaimed at the same time. Even the guards were surprised.
“Yes, tonight I want them hanged.” Celestia said.
“C-Celestia… why?” Twilight asked, barely able to comprehend what she was hearing.
“Twilight, how much do you know about humans?” Celestia asked her former student.
“Not much, just the old legends, but I doubt they’re going to eat misbehaving foals.” Twilight replied to Celestia, trying to persuade her.
“Oh, they won’t eat foals, I can promise you that. They’ll kill anything that moves just for their own sick enjoyment.” 
Celestia’s statement made both Twilight and Rainbow’s ears fold back on their heads, the former gasping and covering her mouth. “No! They wouldn’t do that!” Rainbow yelled at the solar princess. “If they wanted to kill everything then why haven’t they? Huh? I met them several hours ago and they haven’t hurt a single hair on my body! I even brought them right into town and they still didn’t do anything!”
Celestia looked at her with a glare that could melt the strongest steel in Fillydelphia. “When did you meet them, Rainbow?”
Rainbow gulped and looked at her nervously. “This morning after I cleared the skies. I saw them walk out of the woods and then I flew over to them.” She lied, intentionally leaving out Mack, and their truck. “They asked for help and so I brought them here.”
Celestia was visibly angry. “You found them and didn’t alert the guards, and then you just brought them straight into town?" She yelled at Rainbow, bordering on the royal Canterlot voice.
“U-umm, Y-yeah.” Rainbow said, her ears back and her pupils the size of thumbtacks. 
“And now you’re going to try to defend them?” Celestia asked, still pissed.
“Yeah.” Rainbow replied, not changing a bit.
“Well then,” Celestia said, her voice dripping with venom. “Some Element of Loyalty you turned out to be. Defending Equestria’s enemies. You know what I call that, Rainbow Dash?”
“What?” Rainbow said, now trembling.
“Treason. You know what happens to ponies who commit treason, Rainbow?”
“You let them go and free the humans.”
Celestia looked at her with a classic areyoufuckingserious.jpg face. “Nooo. What we do is we HANG THEM WITH THE HUMANS! GUARDS! THROW HER IN THE DUNGEON! In fact, throw her with the humans, maybe they’ll save her a humiliating public execution.”
“Celestia, no!” Twilight called out to her, hoping she could calm her down. Two of Celestia’s guards moved to apprehend Rainbow, who was too shocked to move.
“Shut up or you’re going too!” Celestia shot back at her.
As the two guards grabbed Rainbow’s arms she came to her senses and struggled against them. “Let me go!” she called out, but it was no use, the guards didn’t want to wind up in her position too. 
“Quiet, traitor!” The guard to her right called out, and tightened his grip.
Twilight could only look on in horror as her best friend was drug out of her throne room. “Now, Twilight,” Celestia said, “I’m going to return to Canterlot; I’m leaving the rest of this matter in your hands. I’m sure you won’t disappoint me.” Her last sentence laden with poison, threatening Twilight.
“Yes, Princess Celestia.” Twilight said, walking towards her throne, and taking a seat.
“Good. Guards, protect Princess Twilight.” Then there was a bright flash of white light as Celestia teleported out.
Twilight rested her head on her hand, covering her eyes. Within a couple of seconds tears began to stream down her face.
Back in the dungeon
“I’m telling ya, any time now Rainbow Dash is gonna come flying up to that window and we’re be out in no time.” I said to Brian, who I’m sure was getting real tired of my shit. I was sitting underneath said window and Brian was three feet to my right.
“Dude, she ain’t coming back, these damn horses are going to kill us.” Brian said.
“Or rape us. Hell, for all we know Twilight could have a fucking dick.” I added.
Suddenly Brian’s changed in such a way that it looked like it was screaming out oh shit. “Dude, What if she has a fucking horse sized dick?”
“Aw hell, Rainbow’s got to hurry the fuck up.” I said, fearing for my anus.
“What if she— I hear voices.” He said, then he got up and rushed to the door. I quickly followed and listened intently out the little window.
“What the buck do you see in those filthy bucking humans?” A male voice said.
“Shut up!” Rainbow. Are they going to let us go?
“Maybe instead of killing everything, they just buck everything.” Another voice said, making the other one laugh. 
“Yeah, maybe that’s why she likes them, she can’t get a real stallion so she has to buck a filthy human.” I assumed they were guards, and they weren’t very happy with Rainbow.
“Heck, maybe she doesn’t even like stallions, with this bucking hair she must be some low-class filly-fooler.” By now I was pissed, they could say whatever the hell they wanted about me, but not about Rainbow Dash. The voices were getting closer and closer.
Why the hell am I even mad at this? I thought. Oh well, now is not the time. I got Brian’s attention, then I nodded and gestured to the other side of the door. He nodded back and got into position, we knew this maneuver well. He was on the right side and I was on the left, we weren’t visible from the window. As soon as that door opened all hell broke loose.
As the guards got closer their laughter got louder and I angrier. I somewhat felt sorry for the poor stallion I was about to unleash my wrath upon. Soon a key was inserted into a lock, Brian and I prepared ourselves, we had to hit them fast and hard; and in my case furious. The key was turned and the lock clicked. Then the door started to open. Go time. I immediately stuck my left arm out and forced open the door with my right hand in a fist ready to connect to the guard’s muzzle. Needless to say, when the door flew open the guards were surprised, I was surprised when I saw them holding Rainbow by the arms. I quickly locked eyes with the guard on the left, he was a unicorn, this is going to be interesting, I thought. Before he even knew what was happening a jet of blood was spewing out of his nose as my fist plowed into it. Brian had popped out and delivered an upper cut with his left hand making the guard, a Pegasus, stumble back. Then he raised his right arm and pinned the guard to the wall, cutting off his ability to breath. Rainbow was too shocked to do anything and just stood there, mouth agape while we were taking care of business. After my successful initial strike, I was supposed to do like Brian did, but I decided to do it my way. I put both hands on his shoulders, my left one twisting around the sling of his weapon. Then I took my left foot and hook it behind his legs and knocked them out from underneath him while pushing with my right arm and ripping his rifle off with the other. Once he hit the ground and covered his bleeding schnozzle I tossed his weapon off to the side, then I pinned him down and proceed to pound away at his face un-mercilessly.  Soon Brian was pulling me off of him.
“Cain! Cain! He’s done!” He said, I looked down at him, his was a horrible mess, and he was lying in a puddle of blood and teeth. The other one was slumped against the wall, unconscious. Then I grabbed the rifle that my latest victim had, pointed it at him, and let off a burst. Three streaks of purple energy shot out of the barrel and hit him square in the chest, making him convulse a little. I did the same to the other guard. 
“Grab his gun.” I said to Brian, who quickly complied, picking it up and then examining it. What am I forgetting here, I thought, oh shit, Rainbow! I turned to look at her, what I saw almost killed me right then. She had both her hands covering her muzzle, tears were running down her face, and deep in her eyes, all I could see was fear. “Rainbow, I …” I was interrupted as what could be described as a ‘pew’ resounded through the hallway and Rainbow’s face was lit up with purple. Her mane and tail stood up on end as though she had been electrocuted, then she fell to the floor. I raised my own newly acquired toy and spun around, but there were no guards, just Brian, and a rifle with a smoking barrel.
“Oops.” He said, his face a mix of horror and confusion.
“Brian, you fucking cock.”