//------------------------------// // Castle Crashers! (Edited 9-15-2015) // Story: A Boy and his Box // by Jake Witt //------------------------------// Hello. My name is Lego Craft, formerly known as Jake. I think I'm 5" or 6" tall, I'm dressed like Steve from Mine Craft with box legs to match, and I wear a red banada around my neck to complement my ginger hair. I've been in a dungeon so long that my age is unknown and I see dead ponies. OoooooOOOOoooo~ Actually just one. I would be living in Canterlot Castle, but seeing as the Equestrian equivalent of 'all hell broke loose' recently happened: I am renting a space in the Castle of the Pony Sisters. To be honest: I'm either calling it CPS or Everfree Castle, this place has so many secrets and traps with unexplained items scattered around that I might want to stay in my room or the foyer. I have the strength and skills of Steve? in Survival Mode and the powers of Creative Mode recently enhanced with a DNA splice serum Box made... so I have weak MOD powers to master. I have no clue what all I can do besides being ambidextrous and party tricks, so I hope I can parkour or something. I came to this world long ago with a pony with box legs named... Box. Yeah, how original! He named himself that, lives in a house that looks like Discord's vacation home on the inside, and introduced gaming to Equestria using red stone dust and magic. Box legs. I think there's a trend here. Box wields an iron ax (that used to be mine) he named 'All Giver', using the powers I share with it as a crutch to use his FULL MOD powers. He can change his form among the three basic pony races and can morph with said MOD powers. Box might be the OP one out the two of us, using his ax to not only unlock his full potential, but make himself feared/respected. With that in mind, he was trained by the best guards of history and retain those skills, despite slacking off for some years. There's a running gag that annoys me... a lot. When I find Blue's clues, its best to be cautious, because so far I've only dealt with two freaks: Snab Crake and Electron- who kicked our butts. Thanks to them we now realize how weak we are by ourselves against the "simple pawns" of Tartarus. This makes me fear whether more a powerful foe will appear and the full extent of a 'Tartarus Knight' if one were to appear. We are also investigating as to who might be the leader. For obvious reasons, its not Discord even though I am keeping him on the 'suspect list'. Day 10... or 13? Doesn't matter because, there is nothing to do! Isn't the Everfree Forest supposed to be dark and dangerous? The only danger here is a snake and cockatrice! I only brought iron gear to battle, but failed with my reward being awesome looking, venom filled statues. The ones I didn't think build my ego were broken to rubble for their stone and venom. Box came today and left behind a set of cloning chambers, adding to the look of my renovated dungeon room. I think nopony else can make a windowless, cold, and possible haunted gloom room into a combination of... Bright, friendly colors and random technology. No seriously, it looks like rainbows and blocks barfed on a heartless, mad scientist's room. Through the grapevine, I heard Twilight and Co. were going to the Chrystal Empire with Box. I decided to do things too like eat porkchops... while I just sit here... on my bed... playing Halo: Reach with Discord. What. My brain seemed to process faster than my body as I shouted, "Discord, what're you doing here?!" "What? I'm here to tell you what the main characters are doing without us." he said matter-of-factly. "Well, except Spike and Bad-Vampire-Book Princess." "So what's up?" I asked, pausing my game. He walked over to my TV, connecting some circuit as fuzzy images appeared, "Ah, as predicted, Twilight is screaming in another world! Spike is a dog?" Redirecting some limbs he added, "Interesting. The apple one is selling apples... again somehow. Pink pony is blabbing! Oh, the flapping of her random, chaotic mouth! She is pretending to be a transformer... BUY OUR TOYS!" His head was balancing on his seventh foot, creating a new image of colorful slime before swapping horn and antler, "And Butterfly is talking about me to Sun Butt... The usual 'friendship' report." He said arranging his horns like TV antennas. He fixed himself, returning my TV to normal. "Another world?" I asked as Discord's Spartan snipes me down as I unpause the game. "Boom! Heahshot! Oh, yeah, human world. Nothing special. Tia's old student returned and stole Twilight's crown... Portal opens every 30 moons. Race against time and all that jazz- HA! No scope, n00b!" "You're sniping with a grenade, stop it!" I paused the game, scowling. "You mean Sunset Shimmer? WAIT! She told me that portal could never reopen..." "Who? Lulu or Tia? And how do you know mini Sun Butt?" "My brony brother in my home world. Celestia, duh. She introduced me to the portal after...things. She also sent a letter during- I HAVE TO GET THERE! Human. World! Good bye, pastel ponies!" I cried, turning off my XBON. "And suppose, since that portal has a three day window, how do you plan to get there on time?" Discord asked a growing grin forming on his floating head's face. A human world open every 30 moons, under my nose for all of Luna's banishment and... Celestia forgot about me years ago! that. jerk. And what if he's right? Three days window and a four day trip by train- Discord. What if I can trust him? Get out of Equestria, out of this pony place... am I tearing up? OK. What would I do on my return? Go through portal, find brother, and return with him. "Dissy, ol' buddy. Ol' pal? Wanna cause some chaos?" I ask with him almost leaning on me, fluttering his eyes. "Both noticeable and unnoticeable?" "Why would you want little, old me doing such a thing?" Grannycord asked, a paw around a walker and a talon on my arm. I watched my clock when we materialized inside of snowmen on the outskirts of the Crystal Empire. Almost quarter sun and more than three quarter moon- a few hours after midnight, I think. Apparently I do have parkour skills that rely on my hands more than feet. We would teleport inside the castle, but there are three alicorns, trained to sense chaotic magic in their sleep... minus Luna. She is ending her nighttime rule with either Super Ruby Bros or Black HOPS II again. ...As I've been told. Luckily, Discord's transformations use nearly no traceable chaos magic so Glidercord is a go. I climb onto the building he's on, jumping off we glide onto the roof of the barracks and hide in the shadows. All the guard ponies are dart proof except for one, Flash Sentry. Ugh... forget the movie... can't be the same Flash, right? I mean, they have to sing about Twilight being prom princess in a cafeteria. And I bet his voice sucks. After knocking out Flash, Discord drags his body over to me. I cut off a tiny piece of Flashes tail hair and EAT it... gross. "What are you doing?" Discord asked slightly amused at my tiny bit of random hair-eating. "Ugh, I have some of Box's DNA in me. Shut up, it was from a splice serum. He has a power that allows him to eat anything and turn into whatever DNA he acquired. He could be whoever he wanted to be..." My spine began to tingle then stopped, so I continued, "So by that logic, I have limited morphing powers. Honestly, I have no clue what all I can do, so may be I can disguise myself as Flash?" "If not?" Discord asked, his smile huge. I gagged outwardly and shrieked internally before replying, "Well, then I might need a phsychia- phsychio? A doctor. A mental doctor or therapist." "Fascinating," he replied with Twilight's mane in a bun and glasses on himself. I focused as hard as I could on being Flash, it worked in Animorphs... Nothing is happening! Suddenly, Discord was munching on something on a stick, "Corndog?" he offered. I shrugged, reaching for it as my hand turned black and became an orange hoof. I stopped and looked at myself as Flash. Seriously? All that useless focusing and a corndog triggers the transformation. I knocked out Flash again as he began to wake and placed gold armor on me, MAGICALLY resembling EXACTLY like his armor. "Discord-" I stopped, recognizing my own voice, "My voice didn't change!" I tried to fish for an idea, but received none, "Screw it. I promised chaos, so ya wanna prank some humans?" The next details don't matter. Shadowcord spoke for me as I tried to stay in sync with him. I accidentally found Rarity's room... you can guess what I did with some nearby scissors, thoughts of marshmallows, and what Discord did with a pulley system and a pie. Speaking of pie, Pinkie Pie was guarding the portal, waiting for whatever came out... you know after a second pink pony appearing through the mirror and the fact Rarity's delicate hooves are making a loud noise on the floor isn't a good mixture for spies. Wait, second Pinkie?! Seeing the second Pinkie startled me and my hooves made a 'cloppedy click clop' sound took out all the stealth I was going for. "Rarity! I thought you went to bed already, what's up?" said the first Pinkie almost in Box's suspicious voice. Aw crap. Box is guarding the portal to cover Pinkie going through said portal. Box Pie's body turns a midnight black before changing shape and returning to a clean white earth stallion with flame hair, blue eyes, and box legs with a pencil cutie mark on the back legs. "I hope you don't tell Celestia what happened here. Pinkie wanted to talk to her other self about Twilight, roping me in." he said motioning to the guilty party pony. "She was nice too... She even told me about Twilight's new crush! He plays a guitar- Aaand we can gossip about it later, if you promise to keep it between the three of us." she said. I nod as she smiles and bounces towards the doors, "Thanks Rarity." After Pinkie left it was just me and Box (and Discord too, but he's just my shadow) in the room. "So what brings you in here?" Box asked. I followed Discord's lead, rising my snout, "hmph! I just wanted to-!" "Shut up Discord. I was asking Jake." Box said narrowing his eyes from Shadowcord to the dramatic muzzle-in-air me, who tried to keep composure. Now, when Box calls me by my old name things get serious. Waaay too serious for comfort. "I know how Rarity acts because I've seen plenty more ponies like that in my years. Also you have two thick shadows, one that's not in sync with their body." "Well! Whatever would give you such an idea!" I mouthed, beads of sweat seemingly materialized. "Your mouth is moving slower than your voice and a lady keeps eye contact during a conversation. And as an added BONUS you should sound like Bat Mare right now. With the lack of rest thinking about Twilight, your voice ain't groggy nor a little hoarse also-" Discord lunged at Box and held him in his carpet form, "Run, my boy! Run!" I ran towards the portal as my normal self and entered a rainbow tunnel. Lego ran into the portal and just as fast returning shouting, "Nope! Nope! Nope!" We left the castle slowly then added speed, Lego's walk of shame died down and our dash of muffled laughter. He got revenge and I got a petty prank, its sad that we couldn't stay long, we didn't just prank one pony. Lets just say I went too far with a clown theme and turned Rarity into the Joker. "Oh, my mane! My beautiful mane!" I can imagine it! "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! OH LUNA, NOT A-GAIN!!!" Rarity screamed as we were a distance from the castle. "Again? Well that was disappointing..." Discord sighed as he placed his ear back on his head. "Oh yeah? It was a human world! Just not mine... And besides, I'd rather be a human freak in a pony world!" "Well, look on the bright side. Another new beginning in a town of new beggings, LITTERALLY." Discord encouraged, "I'm free, your free, an empire is free, freedom!" "I thought that was Prance." I said, I heard a squeak as I stood on a whoopee cushion with a blue paw in front of it. Discord followed my gaze and smirked, "A clue? A clue!"