The chariot finally lands, Irony has been holding me the whole time. But now I'm feeling well enough to grumble about how long it took. They must have taken off right after Star got back to the house. We land just after sunup. I smile at the pegasi that are flying the chariot as they take off for home. I look at the door to the house, I look back at Irony. I sigh, I'm really not looking forward to this. But Irony leads me into the house. In moments, Irony, Helen, Moon Shadow and Mindy are all sitting around the table with me, and another pony is there, Star Shine.
I look down, "Hello Star Shine."
Once again, I'm smelling Irony's hand in this, Star is sitting right next to me, I can easily touch him with my wing, though I'm too sad to even begin having a wingboner over him. He touches my back with a wing, I only flinch a little bit.
"I'm guessing I should explain myself." I say.
He just looks at me while I spend some time telling him about my captivity. Irony's hand is on my withers the entire time from her place on my other side.
He looks down, "So, you were raped."
I nod, tears forming.
"By a human, for months, and he hurt you horribly?"
I nod again, those tears are now threatening to roll down my cheeks.
"And because of this, you are not only barren, but you still have flashbacks to the abuse? And yesterday morning was the first time you made love with your herd sisters since you came back?"
I look down, "Yes, Star." My eyes close.
And then open as I hear a loud report. I look over, I've never seen such anger on a pony's face. Not even Irony, but in truth, I wasn't aware of Irony's reaction to my captivity.
"That son of a bitch, I'll kill him." His hooves are shaking on the heavy butcher block table. I look down, it has new hoof impressions have been pressed into the heavy butcher block style table.
Irony growls, "I already did." She looks at Star sharply, "And I would bring him back from the dead so I could do it again and again. When I killed him, I didn't know what had been done to her, he was in my way, he shot at me, and most of all, he was getting Dust away from me. So I killed him." She smiles evilly, "But my mace took him in the crotch, so I got a little bit of revenge on him for what he did to her."
Star looks hard at Irony, "In the crotch, you say?"
She nods.
"You are pretty damned strong, even for an earth pony, so I'm guessing the mace made it through the pelvis?"
Again, a nod.
He smiles a bit, but it's not a nice smile, "Good."
I look at him, he's acting like… my ears fall. There is no way, he's only known me for a couple of months.
He finally seems to calm down a bit, he looks seriously at me, "So you aren't giving me crossed signals on purpose?"
I shake my head.
"Dust, I find this hard to say, first, I have to say how thankful I am when it comes to you and your herd saving me. I was lost after the death of my friends. The last couple of months have made my life actually mean something." He stops and leans his forehead on mine, "And I think I'm falling in love with you, Lightning Dust."
That gets a shudder down my spine, he feels is and backs away, "I'm sorry for saying that." So, now I know why he's reacting that way.
"No, Star. I am still trying to heal. It is hard for me. I had so much trouble telling the rest of my herd how I felt about them, and it took me months after I was back before I could ask them if we could make ourselves into a herd. I've been oriented to be attracted to females my whole life, both of my lives actually. As a pony I was a filly fooler, and as a human, I was a man attracted heavily towards women. This is the first time in my life that I've actually felt attraction for a stallion. And I'm trying to wrap my head around that. But before you think I'm not interested, I'm going to tell you." I look down, and sigh, "I am."
He moves closer, "I'm sorry if my outburst scared you, Dust."
"Me? Scared? Talking to the wrong mare there." Though I think he can see through my lie. He kisses me.
*pomf*
Awww damnit! Those wing-boners again. I open an eye, he's saluting the sky as well.
"Uh, guys." I hear.
I pull away from the kiss, "We will so have to go on a date."
He chuckles, "Yeah, I think that would be fun, just with you? Or a herd date?"
I look over at Irony, I read her mood as best I can, "Just you and I for the first date, and we'll see about a herd date later on."
A quick glance at Irony shows she's agreeing with me. I let out a sigh of relief.
"Tomorrow?" He asks?
I smile, "Tonight sounds better to me." Oh Celestia, I only thought I had popped a wingie, that hurts.
"Um, Dust." Mindy says.
"What do you want to do for our date, Dust?" Star asks.
Meet him in the bedroom, and make sure Moon Shadow sets a sound absorbing spell before leaving, what I actually say is, "Whatever sounds fun to you." Though I think he would love my idea.
"Dust!!!" Mindy shouts. Finally catching my attention.
"What, Mindy?" I look over at her. Her face is strained. Oh no.
"I think we better get Dr. Ray over here!" She moans.
I look at my herdmates, talk about timing Mindy.
***
"Okay, I see the second head, time to push Mindy." Dr. Ray says gently.
I'm sitting right at Mindy's head, holding on to her forehooves. She's covered in sweat, four hours all lead up to this. Mindy strains as her body demands she pushes. After a few moments she goes limp.
"And I've got her. Congratulations Mindy, you've got a pair of beautiful foals."
Irony and Moon Shadow have been helping Dr. Ray on Mindy's other end. Hannah is helping too. She's got one of them in her arms, and Moon Shadow is working to clean the second foal. Soon they are brought to a tired Mindy. I look at the foals, they are adorable. One pegasus, with a pink coat with a yellow mane, and a unicorn, with a jet black mane to go with light blue fur. Mindy curls her forelegs around her foals, sighing happily.
"Well, I'm glad that's done with." She looks at me, "If you had told me two years ago that I would be a pony, and that I would give birth to two foals, and be deliriously happy about it, I would have laughed at you. But I have, and I am." She giggles, "I wouldn't have it any other way." She nuzzles her foals.
"Any ideas for names for them?" I ask.
She giggles again, "I've been thinking about names since I found out I was pregnant. She cradles the pegasus, "Cloud Burst." And the unicorn, "Dot."
I cock my head to the side, "Dot?"
She nods seriously, "Oh, yes. Dot is the perfect name for her. Trust me."
I shrug my wings, they are her foals, she can name them what she wants to. But Dot? Really? I sigh gently. I look back at Mindy, "Dustie, I promise, they will live up to their names. We all do, especially you, right?"
I smile and run my wing down her side, "Mindy, they are our foals, they could have any name, and they will be loved, but I do trust you. They will be wonderful."
***3rd person***
Star Shine did have to wait until the next day for that date. But when him and Lightning Dust took off, Irony's Mustang roared off as well. Dust said they weren't going too far, and Helen and Irony were going to be there for their herd sister. True to her word, when Helen touched the earring that Moon Shadow made for her, and concentrated on Dust, she was able to direct Irony to a place to park the car, and they ended up on foot. Dust had chosen a local reservoir for them to spend time together, a picnic blanket has been set out, the basket is being unloaded. Irony peers through binoculars at the couple sitting next to the water.
"So far so good."
Helen brings out a thermos of coffee, "I don't know how you ponies like this weather." She grumbles a little bit.
Irony glances at her, "It's in the forties, nice weather."
Under her breath, Helen says, "If you are a penguin."
Irony chuckles as she continues to monitor with the binoculars, "We've got a nice coat of fur. Though the pegasi have it easiest in this weather. I think it's a little chilly, Dust and the other pegasi love it. Remember, they like being up high, and the air gets a lot colder." She looks up at the cloudless sky, "They have to tolerate some pretty cold weather to fly so high."
Helen pulls out her own pair of binoculars, and both of them watch the new couple for a while.
"He's trying so hard," Helen chuckles, "he wants to make a good impression on Dust." She watches the stallion pull out a bottle of wine for Dust.
Irony puts down her binoculars, "Helen, I know human culture is heavily biased for monogamy, how are you handling this change, joining our customs, our lives?"
Helen sighs, "I used to get jealous when women would look cross ways at Mike. I knew he loved me, but I was always afraid that he would find someone and replace me."
"Replace you? How could anyone replace you?"
She shakes her head, "I don't know, Irony. But I thought that Mike would find someone better and just drop me."
Irony growls, "If Mike was anything then like Dust is now, he would never have wanted to replace you. But things are different now. Are you afraid that we are going to replace you in Dusts heart?"
Irony can see the tension in Helens hands as she holds her field glasses. The human woman is silent for a long time.
Finally, Irony breaks the silence, "Helen?"
"At first, I was. When Dust first changed, and then you came into the picture, and I could see how much she was attracted to you, I thought, she's a pony now, she should be with those that are like her. And I covered up how much the thought of losing Mike was hurting, I don't even think she knew."
"And?" Irony prompts as Helen grew silent.
Helen sighs, "And I've found out that her feelings for me are still amazingly strong. She hasn't abandoned me, she hasn't ever been there just to take care of the kids, she still loves me, with the same intensity. I was amazed, Irony." She puts down the binoculars and looks at Irony, "I know how much she loves you, and Moon Shadow and Mindy. And yet she still has time for me. Whether it's just being close together, or talking. I'm on her thoughts as much as you are, or any member of the herd is. Even today, I woke up with her wings around me, and when she woke up, she saw me and her eyes brightened. She still is as much in love with me as when she was Mike. She's not dividing up her love between all of us, each one we bring in increases her capability to love. And she loves us all."
Irony nods, "Add in the fact that you've got all of us, we all love you as well, Helen."
Helen runs a finger along Irony's ear, "I know, love. Having the rest of you in my family has shown me that I'm just as capable as Dust is, I'm capable of more love because I have more of you to love. Now, there are times I know that I was selfish, wanting Mike all to myself, wanting Dust only with me. And that's changed, if we can love each other, life is so much better with more to love."
She picks up her binoculars. Irony puts her hand on Helen's back, "Love you, Helen."
The human leans over to be close to the earth pony, "I love you too, Irony."
For a long time they watch the pegasi enjoy their food and the bottle of wine that Moon Shadow had added to the basket. The two pegasi are leaning against each other, Star's head resting on Dust's as they gaze out at the water birds playing in the lake. Helen watches as Star moves his head away, then brings his lips to Dust's cheek. Through the field glasses, she sees Dust's cheeks glow in a blush. Getting a smile out of the human woman.
"Awww, he's really smitten with her."
Irony notices the wings, "Yeah, and she's just at affected."
They watch Dust turn her head and bring her lips close to Star's. Then the mare stops just shy of kissing the stallion.
"Uh oh." Irony says. Both of the quiet observers watch intently as Dust quivers. Dust pulls away, and turns away.
"Damn," Helen adds, "I knew she was still scared, but I know how much she actually wants him."
Words are being exchanged between the pegasi, finally Dust trots a few feet away, sitting on her haunches, and using her wings to hold herself.
"Don't do it, don't do it." Irony says quietly, but of course, she's not listened to by the stallion. He moves closer and puts a hoof on Dust's withers. Dust lashes out with a hoof, knocking his hoof away.
"No, Dust, don't!" Helen moans as Dust flares her wings and takes off like a bullet, "Damn!" She says.
Irony shifts onto four hooves and gallops off, calling out Star's name as he flares his wings to take off. Helen jumps up and follows as fast as she can run. In moments she's huffing and puffing next to the stallion.
"But, I know she wants to, anypony can see that."
Irony responds, "Dust has been broken, she's put back together now, but she's still fragile. You go off chasing her, she'll respond badly. And I think it will be worse than her flying cross country, she might end up even further away. She is in pain now, Star. And I know she wants you, she's told me she does, but she needs to wrap her head around everything going on. You need to be patient with her."
Star looks at Helen, "And what do you think, Helen?"
Helen looks at the direction that Lightning Dust took off, "Star, she's interested in you, and I think she's falling in love with you. But you press too hard, you will shatter her. She's been through hell. And she's questioning everything."
"But…" The stallion's wings droop, "I love her."
Irony draws the stallion into a hug, "I know, Star. And I'm pretty damned sure that Dust loves you as well, but what she needs now, is time."
They all three end up looking towards the direction that Dust went.
***Lightning Dust***
I didn't go very far, a bit over a sixty miles. I'm sitting on a cloud looking down at the well I was working on right before I started this transformation. I lay down on the cloud.
"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I say to myself.
You don't want to be a mare, you don't want to be mounted by a stallion. That little voice in the back of my mind screams at me.
"But why?" I whisper to myself, "I like being a pony, I love being a pegasus, and being a mare isn't that bad."
It will hurt!
I shake my head, "What's a little pain? He loves me, Irony loves me, so does Helen, Moon Shadow and Mindy."
You remember heat back in Equestria, it always sucked because you didn't want a stallion, you were never interested. The most you would have would be the occasional cooler, just to help you cool off. But you also hid away during your heat.
"I remember that, but maybe being a filly fooler wasn't all it was cracked up to be."
Why not? Plenty of hot mares to play with.
"Yeah, and no real satisfaction during heat."
I stop and remember, my first heat, Mindy ended up being my heat buddy, she helped, and her magic was a godsend, but I still felt like it wasn't enough. Though I did find a nice little mare back in Baltimare who was really fun to play with. I smile at the memory. Then it dawns on me, I've never been with a stallion, worse than that, the only actual male was the fuck who raped me. That's where the fear is from, damn it all! My only experience as a mare was violent, and painful, and an all around horrible experience. No wonder I'm so fucked in the head. I turn and spread my wings. I have an apology to make to a stallion who's been nothing but sweet to me.
***
Landing at my house, I trot through the front door, then stop in my tracks. My herd is here, all of them are sitting quietly. I put a hoof to the earring, "So you knew I was on my way back?"
Nods from everypony.
I look down, "I'm sorry. I've been remiss in my duties as lead mare." I end up lying down, "If somepony else wants the responsibilities, I won't object."
I look up, everypony looks completely shocked, I perk my head up, "I'm serious, I haven't been taking care of you the way I should. I told you I was broken, I told you that I wasn't suitable." I hang my head in shame, "I don't deserve to lead this herd, this family."
Strong hands pick me up, I'm embraced by Irony, "Oh Dust, we know you are trying. And honestly, I don't want the job, neither does anypony here. You have gotten this family where it is, and for another mare to take charge would be a disservice to you."
"But I've failed you, Irony, all of you."
I'm hugged tightly by the earth pony, "No, you haven't. You've simply been dealing with the issues of what happened to you. Nopony is better qualified to be here, Dust. Please, Dust, we need you. And there is a stallion upstairs who is heartbroken right now. Why don't you go upstairs and make it right with him?"
I sigh, "Are you all sure? I'm no tyrant, I want all of your opinions on things."
Moon Shadow comes up, "Dust, we all love you, you are the lead mare. Please, know that we support you."
Irony lets me down, and I look at them, and give them a watery smile, I swipe a foreleg across my eyes to remove the tears. Then I head up stairs, in moments I'm at the master bedroom door. I take a deep breath and open the door. Star is asleep on the king size bed. I stop and look at him, he's gorgeous, coloring similar to mine, a wonderful cutie mark, with a turn of speed that is rare among pegasi. I stand there a long time. My mind going a million directions at once. What if it hurts, what if he's too big for me, I'm not the largest of ponies, and the coolers that have been used on me in the past haven't be exactly jumbo sized, they did the job, that's it. Dear Celestia he's beautiful, he'd be good to be kept in the bedroom and never have to leave.
I shake my head, I'm thinking about sex with a stallion for the first time ever in any of my lives, and now I'm thinking of turning him into a sex slave. I chuckle softly, oh Dust, you naughty girl. I take to the air gently and hover close to the sleeping pegasus. I let myself down gently onto the bed. He doesn't even twitch as I gather him up into my arms. I look at him sleeping for several seconds, finally, I'm ready. I put a hoof on his cheek and kiss him. After a second or two he jerks a little, then returns my kiss strongly. I know he's ready, but I need to talk before anything else happens. I put a hoof on his chest and push gently.
"Star, you know what happened to me. I am up here because I want you. I want you more than anything else in this world right now. But you need to understand, you will be the first stallion I will have ever been with. I need you to be gentle, and slow, and as loving as you can be, can you do that for me?"
He nods, "Dust, the last thing I want is for you to feel any pain, I've been trying to say that I love you. You need to know that."
I kiss him quickly, then pull back, "Star, I know. And I am in love with you too."
He starts to stand up, but I stop him, "Not the normal way for us ponies, that's how he did it to me, and that terrifies me, let's do things differently."
***A/N***
I've written what happens, in Dust on the Wind: Cloptional Parts, this will be in 39a.
***
The sun is setting, and this mare is one satisfied girl, before I left the room, I let Star Shine know that I could feel that my heat was going to be coming soon, so be prepared for a lot more. I smile, I feel wonderful. By Celestia, I never knew. All those filly foolers in Equestria are really missing out. I chuckle as I finally get downstairs.
"Well, sounds like you had a good time." Moon Shadow chirps. I stop in shock.
"Weren't you supposed to cast a sound deadening spell on the room, you knew what I was planning on doing."
Moon Shadow smiles lasciviously, "Oh Dust, the kids aren't here. We knew what you were planning on doing, and we wanted to know if he was making you happy." Her smile widens, "And it sounds like he did."
I chuckle, "My knees are still wobbly, and I don't trust my wings yet. Is it always like that for women? Be they human or pony?"
Moon Shadow comes up and rubs against me like a cat marking someone as their own. Damn, I was completely satisfied, and I'm popping a wingie for Moon Shadow, she purrs into my ear, "Not always, but when it happens, it's amazing." This time I get a nip to the ear from her, "We'll have to play later, you, me, and Star. Though Irony might want to join."
I chuckle, "You are going to wear out the poor stallion."
This time a full throated laugh from the gray unicorn, "Oh, he has no idea what's in store for him."
***A/N***
I've written some of what happens for the ponies in heat, it's in Dust on the Wind: Cloptional parts, 39b Mares in Heat
***