//------------------------------// // Sometimes You've Gotta Break the Rules // Story: Taco Quest // by MrAskAPirate //------------------------------// “Consarnit Pinkie!!” Applejack half shouted and half panted, tightening her already white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel as she fought to keep her hands from shaking. “What in the Sam Hill do you think yer doin’ coverin’ up somebody’s eyes while they’re drivin’?!”   “Well, duh!” Pinkie said from her spot wedged between Sonata and Applejack on the front bench seat of Applejack’s pickup, “We were talking about that family road trip we took to find out if we were related, and you said ‘remember all them fun games we played?’ and I said ‘yeah!’ and then I started listing off all the funnest games like I-Spy and Car Bingo and Pin the Tail on the Pony Travel Edition and Hey It’s That Duck Again and-”   “Pinkie!”   “So anyway, after that Sonata said ‘I know a fun game called Guess Who’ which was totally awesome because I totally love that game, and then you asked how to play, which made me go-” she paused to gasp loudly, “because I thought everybody knew how to play Guess Who, and instead of just telling you how to play I decided to show you how to play, because it’s way more fun playing a game instead of just hearing about it, right? And then I think was the part where you screamed, and let me tell you, AJ, that was impressive! I hear you sing all the time but never figured you for a soprano, and-”   “Alright, alright!” Applejack finally ran out of patience. “Just don’t do it again. Ever!”   “Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie smiled. “You should probably pay attention to the road anyway. Driving while distracted can be dangerous.”   Applejack hunched over, grinding her teeth and growling softly as her fingers wrapped even tighter around the steering wheel. A moment passed with thick tension in the air, though if the grinning pink party planner was at all affected she didn’t let it show. It was Sonata who eventually broke the silence.   “Did we, like, hit something back there?”   “I dunno, did we?” Applejack shot back with a shake of her head. “I was too busy watching my life flash in front of my eyes.”   “No, silly, those were my hands!” Pinkie laughed, followed by another surprised gasp. “Unless my hands can tell the future! Applejack, can you read palms?” Applejack just ignored her.   “Well either we hit something, or you’ve always had two side mirrors and I just didn’t notice,” Sonata motioned out the passenger window with a thumb. She grinned suddenly and grew excited. “Also I think there’s one of those rave dances following us!”   A horrified and somewhat confused look came over Applejack’s face as she focused not on the pair of mirrors-- one wedged haphazardly between the support struts of the other-- but on the reflection they shared: that of a police SUV, its red and blue lights flashing wildly as it closed in on them from behind. A moment later the siren flared, signaling them to pull over.   “Son of a...” Applejack swore under her breath as she flipped on her turn signal and eased off the gas. “No Applejack, don’t do it!” Pinkie grabbed her friend’s wrist, startling her yet again. “Don’t slow down; that’s how they get you!” “Of course that’s how they get you, it’s called bein’ pulled over!” Applejack pulled her wrist free and eased the truck onto the side of the road. “Now hold onto your apples and stay quiet; let me handle the talkin’, unnerstand?” Sonata nodded weakly, but Pinkie Pie grew strangely quiet, folding her hands on her lap and staring straight ahead. Applejack raised an eyebrow but a sharp knock on her window jerked her attention away. “Uh, good evenin’, Officer… Armor, is it?” she said as she rolled the window down and took a quick glance at his badge. “Evening,” he replied tersely. “License and registration, please.” Applejack fished the appropriate documents out of her wallet and handed them over to Shining, who studied them for a moment. “Do you know why I pulled you over?” “Don’t suppose I’ve got a tail light out, do I?” she tried to chuckle. The edge of the Shining’s mouth twitched, but he remained otherwise impassive. “No, your tail lights are fine, but did you happen to notice when you took the mirror right off of my driver’s side door?” Applejack blanched. “Oh, so that’s where the extra mirror came from!” Sonata said. “I knew I totally would’ve noticed it sooner if it’d been there all along!” “Shh!” Applejack said, turning back to glare at Sonata. Shining Armor bent forward, unclipping the flashlight from his belt and pointing it into the cabin interior. He regarded the awkwardly smiling Sonata briefly before his gaze settled on the car’s strangely still third occupant, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Where are you girls headed?” “Oh, I know this one!” Sonata said, raising her hand excitedly. “We’re going to Taco Bell! It’s free taco night!” “Uh-huh. And do you think that’s an excuse for reckless driving?” “Um,” Sonata blinked a couple of times. “Yes?” Applejack facepalmed. “Look, Officer, I’m real sorry about what happened… Pinkie was messin’ around and things just got a little out of hand.” He raised an eyebrow at her. “Ok, a lot out of hand,” she admitted. Shining Armor then motioned to Pinkie. “Is she ok?” Applejack turned and noticed how unnaturally quiet Pinkie was being. She was still sitting with her hands folded on her lap, her gaze straight ahead and unwavering. She couldn’t even tell if the normally vibrant girl had blinked this whole time, but she seemed very… tense. “Uh, yeah,” Applejack finally managed. “Yeah, she’s jus’ fine… well, as much as she ever is, anyway.” She turned back to Shining Armor. “We’re not lookin’ to cause any trouble. I’ll pay for the damages, honest.” “Yeah, that kinda goes without saying,” he quipped. “Unfortunately it looks like you’re also past inspection.” “Say what now?” Applejack said as he pointed his light at the sticker on the corner of her windshield. She leaned forward for a better look and frowned. “Dagnabit, Big Mac, you said you was gonna take care of that last month!” As she fumed, Shining Armor clipped his flashlight back to his belt and pulled out a pad of tickets and a pen. “All right, you seem pretty honest to me. I’m having a bad night but that doesn’t mean you girls have to, so here’s what I’m going to do,” Shining said slowly as he started writing. “You’ll get a bill to pay for the damages, and I’ll let you off with a warning. I do still have to write you up for the inspection, but it’s a non-moving violation; no points on your license and no serious marks on your record. Sound good?” Applejack took a deep breath and sighed with a faint grin. “Pardner, you got yourself a deal!” Shining Armor smiled. “You know, I’ve got a sister about your age.” Applejack and Shining Armor were both too preoccupied to notice that Pinkie Pie was now visibly shaking in her seat. “Pinkie, are you ok?” Sonata whispered, but she received no response. Pinkie’s face was scrunched up like she was trying to refrain from shouting, and she was starting to emit a high-pitched but very quiet whine. “Hey, I think there might actually be something wrong with Pinkie.” “You jus’ figurin’ that out?” Applejack shot over her shoulder before turning back to Shining Armor. “Uh, sorry… you were talkin’ about your sister? What’s she like?” Pinkie now looked like she was positively about to explode. Her whole body was shivering and the sound coming from behind her tightly-sealed lips sounded more and more like some sort of repressed, frustrated scream. Sonata’s eyes were wide as she gently patted Pinkie’s shoulder comfortingly, at a loss for what else to do. “She’s smart, funny, a bit of an egghead… she doesn’t socialize very much though, so she doesn’t have a lot of friends,” Shining Armor said. Applejack gave a half-hearted laugh, thinking over the events of the past couple of days. “Boy, I can’t imagine where I’d be without my friends. Best six things that ever happened to me… well, most of the time.” Shining chuckled. “I hear that.” He ripped the top ticket off of his pad and handed it to Applejack alongside her license and registration card. “Ok, here you go. You girls go enjoy your tacos, and no more demolition derby, ok?” She moved to take the papers with a smile. “You don’t have to tell me twi-” “YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPERS!!” Pinkie’s horrifying yell put a ball of ice in Applejack’s stomach the likes of which she would never feel again. Before anyone knew what was going on, Pinkie had reached over and put the truck in gear, and a split-second later Applejack yelped in pain as a boot slammed down on top of hers, which in turn mashed the gas pedal to the floor. She was thrown back in her seat as a pair of pink hands grabbed the steering wheel and sent it spinning. The pickup truck’s very frame squealed against the sudden strain of rapid acceleration as it leaped away from the bewildered Shining Armor who was still holding the ticket and Applejack’s paperwork in his hand. As the truck sped away, Sonata poked her head and arms out the passenger window, wrenching the extra mirror loose. “You forgot this!” she shouted before winging it towards him with all her might. Shining recovered from his shock just in time to dodge the rogue projectile mirror, and it shattered on the pavement right where he had been standing. “Oopsies!" Sonata's rapidly fading voice called back. "My bad!” For the second time that night, Shining Armor watched dumbfounded as three girls in a pickup truck sped away from him. "What the hell was that all about?"