At the Inn of the Prancing Pony
Chapter 17: At the Inn of the Prancing Pony
They awoke early the next day; it wasn’t to the sound of the town waking up, because to be honest it seemed like it never went to sleep in the first place. The entire time they had tried to sleep, there were all manner of noises coming from outside of their alley: arguments, fights, parties, and everything in between. Needless to say, the pair was not very well rested.
Celestia got up and stretched, popping any number of unlikely joints as she did so. “It’s times like this that I really feel my age,” she muttered.
“If you felt your age, you’d be made of stone and likely immobile,” Midnight grumbled with a tiny smile as she did her best to un-cramp one of her legs.
“You evidently haven’t met that many dragons,” Celestia said, carefully checking her saddlebags to ensure she hadn’t been robbed in the past seven hours.
“You’re right. I have met exactly zero. To my knowledge you weren’t a dragon, either. Wait, were you? Did a dragon masquerade as a pony goddess? That sounds like quite the book. I could always write if being a scientist doesn’t work out.”
“It’s a little hard for a full-grown dragon to use an illusion spell to impersonate a pony,” Celestia said with a smile. “For one thing, carts and buildings would keep falling down where the invisible dragon tail was.”
Midnight looked around. “We need our cart back,” she realized.
“Right. Let’s go. Hopefully then we can afford to eat something for breakfast.”
Midnight nodded and began slowly walking towards the edge of town, head low and pace steady.
They pushed through the same green barrier as before to reach the clearing with the orc village, but a lot had changed when they were gone.
“The...the village is gone,” Celestia said simply.
It was perhaps more accurate to say that it had been pillaged and then burnt to the ground. It seemed to be a miracle that the entire Everfree hadn’t gone up in the conflagration.
“Those adventurers, well...they were adventurers. This sort of thing is their specialty. Find life that doesn’t give them things, destroy it, mark it up as an ‘experience’ and continue on their way.” Midnight kicked a charred rock, to watch it bounce along the ground.
“There’s something else,” Celestia said, scanning her surroundings carefully. “Something insane. I wonder if you notice it. I wonder sometimes, with all of the insanity around me, if I’m noticing these things because of the madness, or if I am the one who is insane.”
A dark blue hoof found its way to Hope’s back. “Shut up. You aren’t allowed to call yourself insane. So don’t say that anymore. You’re the most sane thing I have ever met. Well...my father is a very close second. You’re not insane. So...magical things, right? Besides the fact that these burn marks all have an odd magic feeling to them, that doesn’t feel like unicorn...?” Midnight’s comforting hoof moved, for her to scuff at the burned grass. “You’re not insane, so what is this?”
Celestia blinked, and then looked around her for a third time. “That’s not it, but it is interesting. Tell me, does it feel like heartburn when you scan it?”
The unicorn’s horn flickered and died out as she stuck out her tongue. “Feels like I drank acid, yes.”
“That’s dragon magic.”
Midnight sat with a thud, staring blankly in the middle distance. “So I didn’t imagine that part. Firebelle...”
Celestia sighed. “I’m afraid we lost Firebelle the moment those fiends entered the medical tent looking for a replacement for their dead leader. This is definitely not good.”
“But...she could awake when her adventurer’s spirit leaves... When she retires, right?” Midnight asked with a bare glimmer of hope. “Even if she’s been...changed...she could be herself again, right?”
Celestia didn’t honestly know enough to feel the need to crush Midnight’s hopes with cold hard facts. She only knew of the Equestrian Curse’s effect on one dragon, after all. A pony-turned-dragon might be a completely different story. “It’s certainly a possibility,” Celestia said with a small smile. “We’ll just have to bump into her and see what happens. Come on, it looks like I was right about those adventurers missing the cart.”
She walked over and pulled the intact cart out of its hiding place. Hitching herself to it, she skirted what was left of the village to lead Midnight back to Hoofington.
As she was about to enter the thick bush leading out of the Everfree, Celestia gave one last look back at the remains of the settlement. She had never learned its name, or those of any of its inhabitants. Now they were all dead, dead and vanished. Nearly two hundred living creatures had almost certainly been slaughtered, and after the deed was done...? No corpses, intact or burnt to pungent ash, no burial mound...nothing. The moment everybody stopped caring, their remains simply ceased to exist. The nondescript patch of land had become a monument to the gods’ indifference.
Celestia and Midnight re-entered the city of Hoofington. Before, they had been largely ignored. But now, with their cart full of supplies, their intent was clear, and every pair of eyes seemed to follow them.
“Do you think we need anything, or should we head straight for the Inn?” Celestia asked.
“Breakfast, followed by the application of a few more runes to the shielding, and...well, I have something else I want to do.”
Midnight led them to a small restaurant, where they were able to get a decent meal. As they watched, a pair of earth ponies in cloaks attempted to assault the owner of the establishment as a way of getting out of paying their bill, and perhaps as an easy way to establish their reputation as up-and-coming adventurers.
The pair had not counted on the fact that the owner had hired his own group of ambitious novice adventurers to act as his bodyguards. The pair were quickly defeated and thrown out, after a sizable quantity of silver coins had been extracted from them.
The patrons applauded the free show, and the guards were paid, with a bonus for not damaging the building.
# # #
Afterwards, Midnight sought out a small clearing and laid out the cloak with its internal metal foil. “Hope...I’d like you to sign this. Like...the way you’d sign a letter to a friend. This might just be a stupid idea but...I think I need any help I can get.”
Celestia picked up the unusual little pen in her mouth and bent down for a second. When she finished, there was a little squiggle with a clear “C”, but virtually nothing else in the signature could be clearly distinguished.
“Thanks.” Midnight looked over the scribble with a grin, before putting a few arcane symbols next to it and above it, and a final rune after it. “I’ve made this as big of a black hole for magic as I can.”
With that, she brushed a thin coat of clear liquid over the metal, gave it a few minutes to dry, and draped the cloak over her back.
“I think I am ready for the Inn.”
Celestia stepped back and shook her head. “No,” she said. “It looks too functional. I think...maybe a lightning bolt? Or a giant ‘M’? Basically, it needs to look like a costume instead of a magic item. I mean, if I was running the place, I’d be very suspicious of you right now.”
“Okay, then my backup idea would work really well.” She pulled a piece of fabric out of her bag and paused a moment, looking to Hope. “I...hope you don’t mind. I’ve sort of taken to admiring her after getting to know you.” She unrolled the silvery disc to reveal the moon.
The moon without its mare.
Tears came to Celestia’s eyes and she rushed forward to embrace the unicorn. “Thank you,” she said with a choking voice.
“I saw your name on Firebelle’s sheet,” Midnight said around the hug. “I know what that means, despite how absurd it seems to me, but if I ever find my sheet, I hope it says Luna in that little box. Because it’s a crying shame that nopony remembers the her that you knew. The one that my...well, that my only friend loves.” She laid out the moon on the cloak’s back and put careful stitches around the edges, to hold it in place. “There. I think it’s ready.”
“It looks beautiful,” said Celestia.
They stood before the front door. “There is no more worthy cause than one taken up in faith,” the sign above it read, “and no more worthy death than one against the forces of Evil.”
Celestia sucked in her breath. “I’m not overly fond of ponyfying abstract concepts,” she noted. “Although the Nightmare comes pretty darn close.” She looked up at the towering multistory building, easily the largest in the town. “They’re...they’re all looking down. So many gods…” She closed her eyes, and stilled her growing panic with a soft exhalation. “Alright, time to live up to our appointed roles.” After unhitching from the cart, she walked up to the door and opened it. “After you.”
Midnight hesitated at the doorframe, before looking to Hope. “No matter what happens...my name is Midnight, and you are my friend.”
Then the unicorn stepped inside.
An old gray unicorn waited behind a counter, a small placard identifying him as “Mr. Silver”. “Midnight Sparkle,” he intoned. “You have been expected.” A beam of magic shot out from his horn and quickly scanned over her.
Midnight had expected this: the magical scan to confirm that she hadn’t been using healing potions, or breaking any of the other rules that Firebelle had told her. But there was definitely an additional component to the spell washing over to her that she could not recognize, other than to be fairly certain that it was not meant to be harmful, whatever it was.
“You have passed the initial inspection,” Mr. Silver said, applying a small rubber stamp to the bright white piece of paper which lay before him.
“Ominous and strangely appealing. Do go on,” Midnight said as she stepped up to look at the paper. She also knew what this document had to be, and she was eager to finally see what it had to say about her.
“Your noble rank carries no privileges within these walls,” the stallion told her, his eyes tracing over the words on Midnight’s record sheet. “Where is your retainer?”
Hope quickly stepped forward, her head bowed. “That would be me, Your Grace.”
“Yes, yes,” the stallion said, scanning over the sheet. “Go outside and put away your mistresses’ belongings. We have a place reserved for you in the stable.” He looked up at Midnight before she could make an objection. “It’s a well-furnished room with heating,” he explained. “But, as a non-candidate, she must remain outside for the duration.”
Midnight hissed an intake of breath through her teeth before looking to Hope and nodding briskly. “I will do my best to come see you at the soonest opportunity.”
“Of course, Mistress,” Hope said, fully in character. She turned to leave.
“Now, there’s the little manner of your religion,” the stallion said, already acting like Hope had left the building. “It appears to be—”
“Undecided,” Hope said quickly. “She hasn’t decided yet.”
The stallion looked back and forth from the superfluous earth pony mare to the unicorn. “Is this true?” he asked.
Midnight looked cautiously at Hope for a few seconds before responding. “My religion is currently undecided, that is true. I once thought I had it all sorted, but...well, I have had to call it all into question lately.”
“Look, it’s a tiny little box,” the annoyed stallion said. “I have no room for explanations. We’ll just leave it blank.”
She took the moment to finally look down at the sheet. The Personal History section was more interested in her father than in her, describing her reason for going to the Inn as “academic curiosity”. She had no idea why anypony would be interested in that thing she could do with her right hind hoof, but nonetheless, there it was under “Special Abilities”. At least that was accorded lesser importance than her scientific skills.
Satisfied by her inspection, she looked up at Mr. Silver. “Is there anything else needed, or should I go ahead and...” She looked over at the rest of the building. “...Sit?”
The stallion slapped a key on the table. Attached to it was a large wooden tag with the number “236” on it. “Here’s your room. You’ll find a few...are you still here?”
“Oh, uh, sorry,” Hope said, tugging on her forelock. She turned and walked out of the building, taking a good deal of Midnight’s confidence with her.
“Now then,” Mr. Silver continued. “You’ll find a few orientation materials up there, so don’t bother asking me any questions that they’ll just answer for you.” He slid the sheet over to her. “Don’t lose this, or it will cost you ten bits to print up a new one.”
“Print...okay...” She took it, frowned at the stallion, and began walking into the Inn, to get a better look at the place.
The first floor was mostly taken up by a large open area around a central fireplace. Cushions and chairs surrounded it at various distances. Against the far walls were a series of booths, some small, others large enough to host a party of dozens. The booths all had doors that could be closed for privacy. At this time of morning, the space was mostly deserted. A couple of ponies were laid out asleep across a pair of pillows, and the fire was nearly dead. At the back of the room was a pair of double doors. Closer to the entrance was a pair of grand wooden staircases leading to the second—and possibly higher—floors.
Midnight sighed as she trotted through the place, looking at the nametags next to each booth before heading up the spiral stairs, wincing as her cape crinkled quietly.
“Come on...there should be a surge of magic...” she whispered.
She didn’t feel anything unusual. She couldn’t even feel all of the “gods” that Celestia was talking about outside. The place seemed normal. It kinda reminded her of Uncle Blueblood’s place in the morning after one of his over-the-top parties.
“Well... ‘Welcome to my den,’ said the spider to the fly...” she sighed, as she found the numbered rooms and made her way to 236, passing by several unicorn maids with their carts full of carefully compartmentalized clean and dirty linen. She slowed down as she overheard one of them being reprimanded by her mustachioed earth pony superior.
“There’s a reason why we have the pamphlets in two different bins!” the supervisor exclaimed. “These are for new ponies, and those are for new players!”
“New what?” asked the obviously new maid.
“The lists! Refer to the lists! Being able to read was one of the requirements for this job! Now we have to go back and reclaim all the pamphlets that ponies aren’t supposed to read yet!”
Midnight sped up to get to Room 236. She let herself in with her key and quickly examined the two piles of paper on her bed. The folded sheet on one pile had “Welcome to the Inn of the Prancing Pony” as its title, while the top pamphlet on the other pile had the title “Welcome to Your New Character”. Without a moment’s hesitation, she rapidly swept the second pile onto the floor and then out of sight. Once that was accomplished, she walked back out to stand in front of her door.
“Excuse me, Ma’am,” the supervisor addressed her. “We need to fix something in your room. To maximize the comfort of your stay.”
“Of course,” Midnight said calmly, using a hoof to swing the door open.
The supervisor peered in, and stared at the single pile of pamphlets on the bed for quite some time.
“Were you going to come in?” Midnight asked innocently.
“...No, it appears that this room was fixed up already.” He bowed low to the ground. “I’m sorry for taking up your time.”
“Oh, don’t mention it,” Midnight said with a grin, waving while she watched the stallion walk down to another door and knock on it. She turned to look at the number plate on the front door of her room, and frowned.
“236. Two times three is six,” she told herself. “I doubt that matters, but pattern recognition is a key to memorization, maybe I can tie that into a spell to prevent the removal of memories. What do you thin—?”
She looked to the side, to the empty space where Hope had been over the last few days, turned back to the door, and walked in to finally get a good look at the place she was going to stay.
You know, for an inn room, this looks pretty nice, even under the bed! she thought to herself as she retrieved the hidden cache of pamphlets. Now for a little light reading...
Celestia emerged from the room she had been issued in the stable. She pondered a moment, trying to decide what she could do next. Trying to re-enter the Inn was out of the question, so she’d have to wait for Midnight to seek her out before she could learn anything new from that source. In the meantime…
The door next to Celestia’s opened after a few seconds of knocking to reveal a small red earth pony stallion with a blonde mane. “Well?” he asked with a slight drawl.
“Hi,” said Celestia brightly, holding out a hoof for a shake. “My name is Hope Springs, and I just got here with my mistress. It looks like you’re my new neighbor.”
The stallion leaned out of the room and looked over at Hope’s open door. “Yes, it would appear so,” he said. He accepted Hope’s hoofshake. “I’m Sorrel. My sister Chestnut and I just arrived in Hoofington this morning.”
“Is she applying to be an adventurer?” asked Hope.
“Yes, that’s right,” said Sorrel. “I’ll be heading back home tomorrow, but my sister got the management to put me up for a night to recover.”
It was at that point that Celestia noticed the partially healed scars on the stallion’s coat. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “You need healing. I’ve got some potions that we didn’t use. Let me go get them.”
“Much obliged, Miss,” Sorrel said with some degree of surprise at the unwarranted display of generosity. “You’re sure no adventurer,” he said under his breath.
Midnight came downstairs, a variety of pamphlets floating in her magic. She started walking towards the front door.
“You’re not seriously going to take those outside, are you?” the dour stallion at the front desk asked.
Midnight stopped, waving one of them. “’Common Weapons and You: An Illustrated Guide’,” she read aloud. “Hardly state secrets, I would think.”
The stallion sighed. “It’s the tone, Ms. Sparkle. Those materials are written from an Insider’s point of view.” He gestured outside. “Nobody out there is going to understand that.”
“You mean nopony,” Midnight corrected. “When referring to a subject or subjects known to be a pony, as Hope is, nopony is the proper term. Am I allowed to take them out, or do I need to memorize the contents and do it that way, good sir?” She asked in the most endearingly sweet tone possible.
“You’re beginning to sound like your servant, Ma’am,” the stallion said disapprovingly. “And, if you had read the top pamphlet first, you’d know that your player will be able to take the pamphlets outside—or burn them, for all I care—but you cannot.”
An icy chill ran through Midnight’s veins, but she nodded, swallowing to clear something that suddenly hampered her breathing. “Right. Well, can I leave them with you while I go out to converse with my servant, then?”
“Yes, yes, of course.”
She dropped them in a neat stack on his desk, and trotted slowly out the door.
The stable was a smaller red building attached to the blue building that was the Inn. Other than having straw on the floor, it didn’t really look all that different. Like the Inn, there was a front desk. This one was ponied by a large earth pony mare. She had a large loose-leaf binder in front of her, from which she was constantly flipping back and forth. A small sign announced that her name was “Mrs. Cabinet”.
Midnight approached slowly, not sure if she was even allowed out here.
“Excuse me. Is Hope available? I’d like to speak with her.”
Mrs. Cabinet looked up and adjusted her spectacles. “Name, please?” she asked.
It was a bit of relief to Midnight to not be dealing with another mind-reading pony—or whatever trick it was that the stallion at the Inn had used on her. “Midnight Sparkle.”
Mrs. Cabinet flipped through her book. “Hope Springs. List of allowed visitors. Ah yes, Midnight Sparkle. Have you got your sheet?”
The one piece of paper she had tucked under her robe. She slipped it out and provided it to the clerk. The only reason she had it on her was that she didn’t trust the Inn’s doorman not to write on it while she was gone.
“Ah, yes...good.” The earth pony slid the paper back to Midnight. “I imagine you’ve already read the applicable pamphlet, but this is basically your only form of identification while you’re here. Miss Springs is probably still in her room, which is the same number as yours, and will open to the same key. She didn’t mention anything about being hungry, but our common area is out back if you don’t find her in her room.”
“Thank you.” Midnight nodded and continued into the structure proper, mumbling “two times three is six” once or twice before finding and knocking on the door.
“Who is it?” asked Hope’s voice from within.
“Midnight. Sorry to be disturbing you.”
The door quickly opened. “Come in, come in,” the tan earth pony urged her.
Once she was inside, Hope closed and locked the door. Midnight had the chance to see that the room, although not as well apportioned as her own room, was still better than the average earth pony could expect to see in her experience.
“So,” Hope said. “What have you learned so far?”
“I’ve only just started,” Midnight replied. “But I’ve already managed to pick up the fact that we’re going to have to wait a day or two. That’s when the convention starts.”
Hope’s jaw dropped. “S...say that again. Why we have to wait.”
“There’s a convention. Really big thing, apparently. Sponsoring companies and nationwide coverage and to be honest, I don’t know what half of those words mean,” she said, almost laughing. “It seems to me like they are throwing a bunch of words together into a sales pitch.”
Hope just stared at her. “Midnight, I’m not hearing those words. Whenever you try to say them, nothing is coming out of your mouth. At least, that’s what I’m hearing.”
“That’s what he meant!” Midnight gasped. “The doorman, he said that the information is written from a certain perspective, from the perspective of...well, I’m going to call them adventurer spirits because I know that word works. So...these words are part of their language. Not ours. I wonder if I can write them—oh look at this!”
She pulled her sheet out and showed it to Hope, while looking around for writing utensils. Hope examined it, and then flipped it, and flipped it again. The second flip seemed jerky to the unicorn, like somepony else was moving Hope’s hoof. “Still can’t see the other side,” she remarked. “Oh look, I’m still a ‘q.v.’”
“Well, I consider you more important than some initials...this will work.”
She took a charcoal lump from the small fireplace and moved to the table, writing out “CONVENTION” in clear block letters.
“There, see if you can read that.”
“Read what?”
“Here, right here, let me underline it...”
“OK, so eight or ten letters long, I’m guessing?”
“Yes...can you not see it? This is astounding! Such a filter...clearing the perception from any word or phrase...imagine the energy required!” Midnight stared down at the word, wide eyed. “Undetectable too...oh!”
She tried taking her cloak off and pressing it down over the word, before quickly removing it.
“Anything?”
Hope leaned forward and examined the table top. “Hhck...hkavawrn. Yes, I think that’s it...and it faded. Congratulations: you can apparently speak and write the language of the gods now, and don’t even know it.”